Chapter 9

alina.b

@alina.b

~ SUMAN’s Point of View Continued ~ 

After I gained consciousness, I sat in the hospital room trying to let reality sink in. I was in shock and it all felt like a nightmare. Shravan was captured by a dangerous terrorist group and the army didn’t know where he was. Yes, I was scared but this wasn’t the time to be weak. I need to be strong...for him. I need to find out his whereabouts and know that he’s safe. But more importantly, I had to trust Shravan because he knew I was waiting for him so he will come back to me. 

I joined my work the next day because, even though this was a difficult time for me, I would not let my personal life stop me from fulfilling my duty as a soldier. Shravan would expect the same of me. I heard two officers nearby talking as one said, “So, what do you think happened to Major Malhotra?” Shravan was all that everyone was talking about these days. 

The other officer shook his head and set down his tea, “That terrorist group is very dangerous. They will hold an unrealistic ransom that the Indian Army cannot fulfill. He will be tortured till no end and will eventually be killed. It’s just so tragic.” I clenched my fist and took a deep breath. Control Sumo...believe in Shravan and don’t lose hope. 

The other officer spoke, “Really, it is sad. Major Malhotra was one of the finest officers the Indian Army had!” I couldn’t hold back my anger anymore. 

I walked up to the officer and slammed the table. I clenched through my teeth, “IS! Major Malhotra IS one of the finest army officers and he will come back! Nothing will happen to him.” I turned and walked away as the officers looked at me with shock. 

I tried to contact higher authorities to inquire about Shravan but I had no luck. I was not from the same regiment as him so they were reluctant to give me any information. But, I did not give up. A close friend of mine, who worked in the archives department, secretly gave me access to previous files on Kashmir and the terrorist group in question. Perhaps, I would find a lead that would help me find Shravan. I wasn’t able to access the current files for the mission as they were only accessible by a few top army generals. I knew that accessing classified files was illegal and I was putting my whole career on the line but I would go to any extent to find my Shravan. After doing dense research, I was sure of one thing. There was much more to this mission than we knew. It seemed like the details were purposely hidden.

It was late at night and I was sitting in my office at the cantonment studying the files. I heard a knock and quickly hid the files. I opened the door and my Junior handed me a letter from Kancha: 

Dear Suman,

I hope you are taking care of yourself. I know this news about Shravan must have hit you hard. But, I know how strong you are. Here is something that will keep you hopeful for his return.

- Kancha

The letter included a picture of me and Shravan from the wedding. He was throwing flower petals at me and laughing. We looked so happy and in love. I hugged the picture and a tear rolled down my face. I was trying hard to hold myself together but I felt so restless all the time not knowing where he was. I reminisced about our sweet moments from the wedding. I thought of when I last saw him at the airport. My heart felt so heavy watching him leave. Suddenly, something unusual struck me as I recalled that memory. Shravan mentioned not coming back again and then quickly changed the topic by playing it off as a joke. Did he know something? Was he going to tell me something about his mission? 

Six months passed by and everyone had moved on. There was still no update on Shravan but I didn’t lose hope. Everyone, including Kancha, kept telling me that it was time for me to move on but I ignored them. After a lot of hard work, I was able to contact someone in Shravan’s regiment who had accompanied him on the mission. “Captain Rakesh, thank you for helping me.”

“Captain Suman, you must promise me that you will not tell anyone that I told you anything. It could ruin my career.” Captain Rakesh was a young boy and Shravan was his mentor. He agreed to help me as he was still worried for him. 

“Can you tell me what happened? How did Major Shravan get captured?” Maybe this could be my clue to finding out about Shravan.

Captain Rakesh closed his eyes as he was trying to recall his memory. “We had surrounded the area where the terrorists were hiding but somehow they found out that we were coming. There was a landmine explosion and we were told to retreat by the Senior Officers. The odd thing is that we all were able to escape except for Major Shravan. Which is hard to believe as we all know he is highly trained. It almost felt as if…” 

“As if what?” I prompted him. Even I was confused, why was Shravan not able to escape?

“It was as if Major Shravan purposely wanted to get left behind and be captured by the terrorists.”, Rakesh replied quietly. I was perplexed. Why would Shravan wait to be caught by the terrorists? Why would he purposely put himself in danger? 

Rakesh continued talking, “The even weirder part is how the army isn’t even working hard enough to find him. I don’t know...it is all very confusing even us who are in the regiment don’t know what is going on. 

This mission was a lot more complex than I thought. I asked Rakesh what the purpose of this mission was. He said, “The purpose was only to push the terrorists away from the city where civilians lived. But now, I think there is much more to the story that none of us are aware of. Captain, did Major Shravan tell you anything before he left?” I shook my head as I knew nothing about his mission except that it was in Kashmir. 

A couple weeks later I received a call from Rakesh again. “Captain Suman...I have some bad news. Can we meet?” My heart started pounding again. When I met Rakesh again, he said that he found a video that he believed was an execution video that the army was hiding. I hitched my breath as he went to play the video. The man’s face was covered but he had the same build as Shravan. I trembled as I watched the video as it was very violent and disturbing. “I’m really sorry, Captain Suman”, Rakesh replied quietly. 

I left without saying anything as I wanted to be alone. I broke down crying in my cabin as the video had left me scared. I don’t know why I didn’t tell Rakesh but the man in the video wasn’t Shravan. The man had a mole on his collarbone, a mark that Shravan doesn’t have. Why was that man posing as Shravan? Why was this fake video made? 

A couple of weeks later, I got a call from the General and he asked me to meet him. He looked very similar to my father. “Captain Suman, I’ve been monitoring your activity for a while. What business do you have snooping through classified files? You do realize that this is against army code and that you can be dismissed, right?”

I took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry General Bakshi. I was only trying to find some information on Major Shravan Malhotra as he’s been missing for so long.” 

“How are you acquainted with Major Shravan Malhotra?” 

“...He’s a friend.” The truth was he was much more than just a friend to me. I felt like I was dying every second not knowing his whereabouts. 

“Hmm...I went through both of your files. You two went to school together, were neighbors, and in fact your fathers were good friends. We all know the tragedy regarding your father, Colonel Vijay Tiwari and Devraj Malhotra. Two years ago, you and Major Shravan were together at Mission Ladakh and the last time you two met was at a wedding. Is this correct? We keep an eye on our soldiers. I had to make sure you were not a spy and it seems that you are genuinely concerned for Major Shravan. So, Captain Suman, what questions can I answer for you so you will stop snooping through classified information?” 

I was getting angry as the General was talking so nonchalantly as if he didn’t even care about Shravan. “Yes! Why isn’t the army trying to find Major Shravan? How can you sit there so calmly when an Indian soldier is held captive by dangerous terrorists?” 

General Bakshi smirked and said, “Maybe because he doesn’t need to be found.”

I paused and was confused at his words. “So, do you know where he is?”

He set his tea down and said, “Look Captain Suman, I will try to answer your questions but cannot tell you everything due to the confidentiality of this mission”. 

“Is that a yes or no? Do you know where he is?”

He chuckled, “You really are fearless. I’m surprised that you have the audacity to talk to the Army General like this. Captain Suman, if I didn’t know where he is, I would not have confidently invited you here to answer your questions”.

I felt a rush of relief take over. “Is he safe?”

“Well that depends on how you define safe. He’s surrounded by terrorists but he’s alive.” 

I took a deep breath and asked, “Will he come back home safely?”

General Bakshi looked down and said, “I can’t guarantee anything”. Tears started welling up in my eyes again and my lip quivered. The General continued talking, “Major Shravan was well aware of all the risks when he willingly accepted this mission. But, I would not have appointed him if I thought he was incapable of succeeding. You have worked with him and know that he’s one of the best officers the army has. I have full trust in him. I know that as a close friend of Major Shravan, this is a difficult time for you. But, do you also trust Major Shravan and his capabilities?”

I thought of Shravan and quietly replied, “Yes, I trust him but do you think you could deploy me to Kashmir so I can also be a part of this mission?” 

He looked at me confusedly and said, “Absolutely not! It’s not safe for you there and I’m sure Major Shravan would agree! The real reason I called you here is because your snooping around could have put Major Shravan and yourself in danger.” 

I furrowed my eyebrows as I was confused by what he meant. How was I causing more danger to Shravan? General Bakshi took a deep breath and said, “You shouldn’t trust people so easily. You met with Captain Rakesh, correct? We found out that he has been helping the terrorists and he was trying to see if you knew anything about the mission. Luckily, Major Shravan did not give you any details of this mission because this could have caused grave danger to his safety. Captain Rakesh is in our custody now and we also found out that he was planning an attack on you and was going to shoot a video that the terrorists planned on showing to Major Shravan to blackmail him.” 

I sat there shocked. How could I have fallen for such a trap? I was so lost in finding Shravan that I didn’t realize that I was being used as a bait. I could have put him in more danger. I quietly replied, “I’m sincerely sorry, General. If I knew that Captain Rakesh was...I would never intentionally put Major Shravan in danger.”

He sighed and said, “I know you had no ill-intentions. I understand your emotions and honestly, any friend in your place would have been just as worried. Unfortunately, you did break the law and could have potentially put Major Shravan in danger. Therefore, we will have to take disciplinary action against you. I am suspending you for one month with an additional salary cut for two months. Although, while doing research on you I realized that you are a very talented officer who hasn’t been properly rewarded for her achievements. So, when you come back you will be considered for a promotion and salary increase.” I nodded and smiled.

I walked out and instead of feeling sad that I was suspended for a month, I felt happy knowing that Shravan was safe. Although I feared for his safety, I was proud of him for taking up a dangerous mission as it showed how much he loves the country. I sat into my jeep and got a call from Kancha.

“Hello Suman? Where are you? You need to come to the hospital right now!”, Kancha spoke frantically. 

“I’ll come right now! Are you okay? What are you doing in Bhopal?” My heart started beating fast as I became worried hearing her cries.

“I’m fine...it’s Daadu…” My heart dropped. After we got back from the wedding, Daadu hadn’t been feeling well but he brushed it off. I couldn’t lose another person I loved. 

I got to the hospital to find my family crying together. I shook them frantically asking for answers but they just kept crying. Maa made me sit down and smoothed my hair. Her voice trembled as she said, “This morning he suddenly collapsed and lost consciousness so we brought him to the hospital. They did some exams and found that he has end stage cancer. He doesn’t have much time left.” I sat there feeling numb. Daadu has always been the most important person in my life and I could never imagine losing him. Maa nudged me and said, “Go see him inside. He’s been waiting for you.” 

I stepped into Daadu’s hospital room with beeping monitors. He opened his eyes slightly and reached for my hand. I held his hand and broke down crying. He let out a weak chuckle, “Silly girl, why are you crying? Everything comes to an end one day and I’ve lived a good life.”

I sniffled and clutched his hand tighter, “No Daadu! You can’t leave us yet.” I set my head down on his bed and kept crying.

He patted my head and said, “I thought my soldier was strong. Then why all these tears?” But, at this moment I was not a soldier. I was a granddaughter who loved her Daadu with all her heart. He hesitated and said, “I don’t have much time left. When Vijay was martyred, I made a promise to myself that I would not leave this world without fulfilling all his duties. I wanted to see you become a soldier and that dream was fulfilled. But, I have one last wish left. Will you fulfill it?” 

I nodded and kissed Daadu’s hand. Of course I would fulfill any last wish he had. It was the least I could do for him. He coughed and started speaking, “I feel so proud when I see you in your uniform but I wish to see you as a bride before I die. I fulfilled all my duties but your marriage is the only one left.” I stopped breathing for a minute. I was going to tell Daadu that I couldn’t get married but I saw his hopeful eyes and nodded. How could I break his heart in this state?

Later in the evening, we brought Daadu home as the doctors suggested it would be better for him to pass away peacefully among family members. I had told Kancha what Daadu’s last wish was and she was angry at me for agreeing. She pulled aside and angrily said, “I thought you loved Shravan! We all gave up hope of his return but you were still hopeful. Then what is this? I’m guessing you have decided to move on”. 

I frowned at her words and my eyes started tearing up. I expected Kancha to understand my dilemma. I replied trying not to cry, “I do love him and I know he will come back. But, Daadu’s last wish is to see me married and he would never let me marry Shravan. How can I be selfish?”

She shook my shoulders and asked, “And what about Shravan? You’re going to break his heart? He’s going to think you gave up on him. What did he do to deserve this?” 

I reminisced about all our memories together. His laughter echoed in my ear and my skin tingled as I thought of his touch. I promised him that I would wait for him. Then, I remembered Daadu’s hopeful eyes. Daadu had raised me like his own daughter and never let me feel the void of Papa after his passing. I broke down crying, “I don’t know what to do, Kancha! I love Shravan but I can’t hurt Daadu like this either!” 

She hugged me and gently said, “Do you think Shravan will come back before Daadu…” I didn’t know when Srhavan would come back and Daadu might not have that much time left. I continued crying over my dilemma in Kancha’s arms. 

The next day, Daadu told me that Anish’s father had expressed interest in me for Anish. Daadu smiled, “Anish is a good boy and he was your friend in school also, right? He and his family are coming to meet you today”. I nodded my head but felt odd. My heart kept telling me that I was making a big mistake.

Anish still looked similar but he had grown a mustache now. He was also a Captain but lived in Mumbai. As he spoke of his achievements, I realized how self-centered and arrogant he was but ignored it for Daadu’s sake. Shravan never bragged about his achievements. Even when we were younger, he never bragged about his medals in badminton. I broke out of my thoughts as Anish put his hand on mine. He looked at me and said, “You’ve become so beautiful. You know, I always liked you since school”. I instinctively pulled my hand back and forced a smile. This was wrong. Anish continued talking about himself and barely asked anything about me. Thankfully, we were called down for dinner.

During dinner, Anish’s father and Daadu were talking about politics and the Army. They started talking about the mystery of Mission Kashmir. Anish’s father said to Daadu, “You knew Major Shravan well, correct?” Daadu’s face grew serious and nodded. 

My own breath got uneven as I realized what I was doing. I was meeting Anish to marry him whereas Shravan was somewhere in Kashmir fighting for his life with the hope of seeing me again. I can’t do this. Then Anish spoke up, “I’m afraid that Shravan will disclose India’s secrets. As you know, an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. A traitor’s son will be a traitor himself.” 

I felt my blood boil but before I could say anything, Daadu replied angrily, “Captain Anish! Shravan’s personal life has nothing to do with him as a soldier. He is one of the finest army officers and he has contributed to the army more than you have despite being the same age”. I was surprised to see how defensive Daadu was about Shravan. The jealousy on Anish’s face was evident and he changed the topic. Later, the families decided that Anish and I would get married this week as Daadu did not have time left. My heart was racing. I can’t marry him.

When Anish was leaving, he tucked my hair behind my ear and said, “I can’t wait to make you my wife.” I flinched at his touch. His words bothered me. I only wanted to hear the word “wife” from Shravan, not anyone else. My heart belonged to Shravan and he would be the only person I would marry. 

“My little princess is getting married this week” Daadu said with a smile. Kancha looked at me carefully from afar. Her eyes accused me of betraying Shravan. 

I gulped and looked down, “I’m sorry, Daadu. I can’t marry Anish. I don’t love him”.

Daadu looked apprehensively at me and said, “It’s okay, I understand. I met your grandmother on our wedding day but you are from a newer generation who wants to marry someone you like. Is there someone else? Maybe we can talk to him and his family.” I nodded but I didn’t know how to tell Daadu. He prompted me, “Is he in the army?” I nodded again. “Good. What rank?” 

“Major”, I quietly replied without looking up. 

Daadu raised his eyebrows in approval and asked, “What regiment?”

I closed my eyes and said, “Dehradun”. The room got silent and you could hear a pin drop. Daadu’s smile faded away. He knew who I was talking about but still asked me his name. I had flashbacks of Shravan from our teenage days, Ladakh, and the wedding. Daadu asked his name again. I took a deep breath and said, “Shravan. Major Shravan Malhotra.” 

Daadu clenched his fist and yelled out, “Are you out of your mind? I expected better from you, Suman! How can you even think about marrying that boy?” I bit down on my lip trying to suppress my cry as a tear rolled down my face. I knew that Daadu would never agree for me to marry Shravan.

Kancha who had been watching everything, angrily said to Daadu, “Just now, you said to Anish that Shravan’s past has nothing to do with him”.

“I never said that. I said that his past doesn’t have anything to do with him as a soldier and I respect him only as a soldier. I am proud of Shravan but it doesn’t change the fact that his father killed my son. How can I let Suman marry him?”

I broke down crying and asked, “But, what is Shravan’s fault in this?”

Daadu’s heart melted seeing me cry and he sighed, “His only fault is that he’s Devraj Malhotra’s son. Do you really want that traitor’s blood running through your children’s veins? Forget marriage. Even by loving Shravan, you are betraying your father”. Daadu’s words hit me like a slap. 

Kancha started arguing, “Daadu, you are being selfish. Suman is only marrying Anish because she wants to fulfill your last wish and you are taking advantage of her love. She has her whole life in front of her and she deserves to spend it with someone who loves her. Even you know that there isn’t a better man than Shravan for her”. Daadu sat there quietly and trembled in anger. I got worried for his health and told Kancha to be quiet. Daadu pushed me away and went to his room. Later that night, he got really sick as his blood pressure elevated from stress. 

I was crying in my room. Daadu’s words were haunting me. Maa walked into my room and held me like a little baby as I broke down into her arms. I sniffled, “Am I really betraying Papa by loving Shravan?” 

She smoothed my hair and gently said, “You know what your Papa used to say when he saw you and Shravan together? He said that when you got older, he would talk to Devraj Bhaisaheb about your wedding with Shravan. He said that he trusted Shravan the most to take care of his little princess and keep her happy long after he was gone. If your Papa was here today, we would be planning your and Shravan’s wedding”. I was pulled between my love for Shravan and Daadu. But, after seeing Daadu’s condition worsen, I reluctantly agreed to the marriage. A granddaughter's love had won.

It was the evening before the wedding, and I was getting my mehendi done. I sat like a lifeless body. Usually, the bride is always so excited for her wedding but I was not excited at all in fact, I dreaded it. Suddenly, my attention went to the TV:

“Breaking News: Major Shravan Malhotra Comes Back Home After Successful Mission”

The girl doing my mehendi asked me something but my whole attention was on the breaking news. Was I dreaming? “Shravan…” I said to myself as I saw him come on the TV and the General was congratulating him. Tears of joy fell from my eyes. I knew he would come back! I felt like my heart would burst with happiness. 

Kancha ran into my room and shook my arms. She excitedly said, “Did you see the news? You were right! He came back! You never gave hope. I’m so happy for you.” She hugged me tightly and then we both came back to reality as the girl said that my mehendi was finished. The wedding was tomorrow. Kancha cupped my face and said, “You can’t get married now! Shravan is back! Listen to me, I will book a ticket for Delhi tonight and I’ll help you pack. I will take care of everything here. Imagine how happy Shravan will be to see you there!”

I smiled to myself thinking about meeting Shravan again. I waited for him for so long. My heart was restless all the time but now he was finally here. Then, I thought of Daadu and whispered, “I can’t run away. I can’t betray Daadu like this”.

Kancha’s face fell and pleaded, “Please, don’t do this. Don’t ruin your life. It isn’t a coincidence that Shravan returned from his mission the day before your wedding”. I looked at her. She was right but I wanted to talk to Daadu first. I was not a coward who would run away. I would try to convince Daadu again. 

I ran to Daadu’s room and found him smiling as he watched the news about Shravan with tears in his eyes. Daadu wouldn’t admit it but even he was very worried for Shravan and felt relief knowing he had returned home safely. Daadu looked at me and I ran to him. I kneeled in front of him and took his hands. I pleaded with tears in my eyes, “Please Daadu…”

He took a deep breath and patted my head, “You really love him a lot, don’t you?” I nodded. Even I had been unaware of the extent to which I loved Shravan. Daadu said with a broken smile, “Then, marry him”. I looked up in shock. Daadu continued talking, “You love him. I don’t want to ruin your life. I want you to be happy”. I felt my heart bursting with joy and then Daadu said, “But promise me one thing...you will only marry him after I die”. 

I looked confusedly at him and said, “But, I thought your last wish was to see me married?”

He sighed and said, “Yes, it is but I can’t watch you marry the boy whose father killed my son. But, I also know that you love Shravan very much and will never be happy without him. The choice is yours. Follow your heart”. I sat there numb as I was presented with yet another dilemma. I looked down at my hands and was shocked to see that Shravan's name was written on my mehendi. Earlier when I was watching the news, the girl had asked me what my future husband’s name was and I replied, “Shravan” but I wasn’t aware of what she had asked. I kept staring at Shravan’s name on my mehendi and thought about Daadu’s words. His name looked so perfect in my palm as if it was meant to be written there. Was Kancha right? This couldn’t be a mere coincidence...perhaps it truly was destiny.