Chapter 8

alina.b

@alina.b

--- SUMAN’S Point of View ---

During the wedding, my whole focus was on Shravan. He caught me staring at him and threw flower petals at my face as he laughed. His laughter always made my heart flutter. Kanchan looked over mischievously and pushed me into Shravan. He put his arms around me protectively to prevent me from falling. We exchanged soft smiles and I realized that I wanted to spend my whole life with him. One day, just like this, we would get married and be together forever. 

When the wedding was over, we bid adieu to Kanchan and drove to the hotel. Shravan went to take a quick shower before his flight. Suddenly, I noticed that his wallet had fallen on the ground. I went to pick it up and a tiny picture slipped out. I smiled as I looked at the picture. It was our first picture together - we had gone on a camping trip. He had his arms around me as we sat by the bonfire. It’s funny how pictures capture not only images, but also feelings. How did I not realize it then that we were always meant for each other.

I heard the shower turn off so I quickly put the picture back in his wallet. Shravan yelled from the bathroom, “Uhh...Sumo? I forgot my t-shirt. Can you please pass it?”

I thought to myself that I should have some fun. I wanted to irritate him! So I replied innocently, “What shirt?”

“It’s on the bed. It’s a white t-shirt.”

I giggled to myself and quickly hid his shirt under a pillow. “There’s nothing here, Shravan.” 

“Uhh...it’s okay. I’ll get it myself.” He stepped out and I instantly regretted playing a joke on him. I gasped seeing his broad shoulders and chiseled muscles. He truly had grown into a handsome man. Once, I had accidentally walked into his room without knocking and saw him without a shirt. He was so embarrassed and I made fun of him. But, today I felt embarrassed as I looked down and couldn’t hide my blush. 

He stood in front of me and smirked. He put his arms around me and I shut my eyes tightly. But, instead he reached behind me and chuckled, “This t-shirt, the one you hid.” He laced one arm around my waist and pulled me close. Although his touch was gentle, I felt like my skin was set on fire. My heart was beating so loudly that even he could probably hear it. He shook his wet hair in my face and laughed. I was overwhelmed hearing him laugh wholeheartedly after so many years. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed the water droplet on his cheekbone. I sighed, “Please stay…” 

Shravan rested his forehead against mine and whispered, “If I could, I would stay. Please don’t make this harder than it already is”.

I looked down and saw his wound from Ladakh. It had healed but left a scar. I ran my shaky fingers over his scar and tears welled up in my eyes. All the memories rushed back to me: his screams, his blood, and my fear of losing him. I broke out of my thoughts as he wiped my tears and whispered, “I’m okay now.” I pulled him into a tight embrace, “Promise me, you’ll stay safe in Kashmir.” 

He placed a kiss on my shoulder and chuckled, “Well, I can’t promise anything but I know your love will protect me, Heer.” 

I playfully slapped his cheek, “Oh god, Shravan! You’re so cheesy! Wasn’t that line from our play?” He put on a hoodie over his shirt and I couldn’t help but smile as he looked like my young Shravan again. He saw me dreamily smiling and looked confused. I gently pulled on his hoodie to bring him closer and winked, “I forgot how sexy you looked in hoodies”. His face turned crimson and he looked away. I giggled, “Fifteen”.

“Fifteen what?” He asked confusedly.

I pulled on his cheek, “This is the fifteenth time you’ve blushed this evening. I’ve been keeping a count”.

He turned to the mirror and rolled his eyes trying to suppress his smile. He started fixing his hair and looked at me through the mirror, “I don’t remember you being this flirty when we were young.” 

I gave him a back hug and rested my cheek on his shoulder. “A different side of me comes out when I’m with you. When we were young, I didn’t want to do anything to risk our friendship. But, imagine if we were like this as teenagers, what would have happened?” 

He smirked, “Teenage pregnancy.” Shocked at his words, I slapped his arm and he started laughing uncontrollably. 

Now, it was my turn to blush. “Your jokes are still really lame!”

He turned to look at me, “If people see you in a lehenga with me at the airport, they will think that we are eloping together.”

I pouted, “I wish we were going to the airport to elope.” I grabbed his wrist to look at his watch and said, “You know, we have time until your flight. We could stop at a temple on our way and get married quickly.” 

Shravan laughed, “You are crazy! You deserve a better wedding than that! Our wedding is going to be special and our families will be there to bless us.” He grabbed my hand and said, “We should head for the airport. It’s getting late. Ready to go?” My heart sank. I wasn’t ready for him to leave yet. I wanted time to stop so we could be together a little bit longer. 

Shravan and I laughed and talked in the car trying to savor the last few moments we had together. Shravan asked, “You know your way around Delhi?”

“Yeah, actually I did my training here and I come to visit Kanchan often.” I replied. Suddenly, the traffic light turned yellow and I slammed the breaks. 

“Sumo! You could’ve easily made that light!” Shravan slapped his forehead.

“It was yellow! It means to stop if you aren’t in the intersection. You know, I always follow the rules”, I pouted at him and his frustrated look turned into a smile.

“At this rate, I’m going to miss my flight for sure”, he chuckled. 

“Maybe, I want you to miss your flight”, I replied sadly. I had spent so many years away from him and now that he was here with me, I just wasn’t ready to let him go. 

Shravan put his hand on mine and said in a gentle voice, “Hey, we’ll meet again very soon. But right now, it’s very important for me to go and you know that better than anyone else. The country comes before everything else, right?”

“I know”, I sighed. He was right. The country had first rights on it’s soldiers before anyone else. This was the reality of a soldier’s life. Shravan turned his face away trying to hide his tears from me. I was making it harder for him to leave. I squeezed his hand and said, “You know Shravan, I’m really proud of the person you’ve become”. He smiled and kissed my hand.

We arrived at the airport and my heart sank as I accepted the reality that he was leaving. But, I kept a big smile on my face as I couldn’t see Shravan unhappy because of me. I had to park the car a little far from the airport as it was crowded. We walked hand-in-hand quietly as we were both trying to hide our sadness of separating once again. I briskly rubbed my arm as the night air was chilly and wrapped my dupatta around myself. 

Shravan stopped and took off his hoodie and gave it to me. He chuckled, “Here, wear this. Your flimsy dupatta won’t keep you warm.” His soft hoodie was warm from his body heat and it smelled like his cologne. I instantly felt calm as I wore his hoodie and felt closer to him. 

We went inside the airport but visitors couldn’t go beyond. He looked at me with a broken smile and said, “I guess this is it.” I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore and buried my face in the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I felt warm tears fall on my shoulder. He was crying too. People were staring at us but I didn’t care. We stood there in each other’s embrace not wanting to let go. 

I pulled back and wiped his tears. I sniffled and said with a trembling voice, “Take care of yourself and be safe. Call me when you have time”. He nodded and looked away. His eyes were red from crying and his lip was quivering. I wanted to lighten his mood so I dramatically said the line from our play, “Go Dev, go! I know the country needs you. I, Heer, will wait for you and pray everyday for your safety.” 

I was expecting him to laugh but instead he looked into my eyes and painfully said, “And what if I don’t come back?” I felt my heart drop and covered his lips. 

I angrily replied, “Don’t say that! Why would you say that? Nothing will happen to you”. I started crying again. The fear of losing him took over my heart again.

His expression changed as if he snapped out of a daze and held my face. He wiped my tears and softly said, “Hey, I was just kidding! Sorry!”.

I fisted my hand and sniffled, “That wasn’t a funny joke. I’m serious, Shravan.” He pulled me into a hug and placed a kiss on my head. 

He poked my nose and said, “I love when you flare your tiny nose when you’re angry. You look so cute and that’s why I like to irritate you.” I knew he was trying to make me smile as he didn’t want to leave making me upset. Then, we heard an announcement that check-in for Shravan’s flight was starting. We held each other’s hands and sighed deeply. 

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. I closed my eyes and whispered in his ear, “I love you so much, Shravan. I will wait to see you again”. 

He looked at me and winked, “You love me? Well, now the josh is even more high”. He tucked my hair behind my ear and placed a soft peck on my lips. Some children standing nearby looked at us and giggled. We felt embarrassed and laughed. Then he held my face and said, “I love you too, Sumo. You are my strength.” He pulled me in for another hug. 

As we moved back, I asked, “Can I keep your hoodie?”

He smiled and dramatically said, “My lady, you have my heart. Then, what is this mere hoodie? Everything mine is yours...including me”.  

I laughed and gently slapped his cheek, “You’re such a drama queen!” Another announcement was made for his flight and we looked into each other’s eyes. It was time to go. We reluctantly let go of each other and said goodbye. I watched him go through security and he turned around to look at me one last time. He waved and I blew him a kiss. 

I walked back to my car, clutching onto his hoodie. I looked at the empty seat next to me and broke down crying. I missed him already. Yes, we are both soldiers and our duties are our top priorities, but it didn’t change the fact that it is difficult for us to separate once again. We calmed each other saying that we will meet again soon, but the reality was neither of us knew when that day would be.

I stepped into my hotel and sat in front of the mirror. My eyes were red from crying so much. I noticed that one of my earrings was missing. Suddenly, I got a message from Shravan. It was picture of him smiling and holding my earring with a message that said: 

If you were looking for this, I have it. It was stuck on my shirt. Boarding the plane soon. I miss you already. I love you and stop being sad! Your sad vibes are traveling here making me sad too. 

I smiled to myself seeing his picture and felt my heart relax. I changed into my night clothes but grabbed his hoodie again. It still smelled like him and I fell asleep clutching his hoodie to my chest. 

The next morning, Kancha and I were going to Bhopal for a week before my vacation would be over. We sat in the airport lounge and Kancha kept asking me, “Omg! Tell me everything! Is he a good kisser?” I blushed and avoided her question as I remembered his soft kisses. She shook my arm and asked again, “Come on! Tell me! Is he?”

I covered my face with one hand as I blushed and said, “Yeah...I guess.” 

Kancha squealed in excitement and said, “Tell me more!” 

I looked confusedly at her, “That’s all. Nothing else happened.” I didn’t want to tell her everything because I wanted some things to stay between Shravan and me as our little secrets. 

She pinched my cheeks and said, “Aww! You are so in love with him! Don’t even deny it anymore! You keep smiling and you’re still wearing his hoodie!” 

I smiled to myself as I reminisced my moments with Shravan. “You know Kancha, I have loved him for years but I only recently realized it. Words are not enough to explain how I feel with him. A lot of men have told me before that I am beautiful, but when Shravan says it...it’s just different. It’s as if he’s not talking about my face or my body but something more…”

Kancha looked at me with a gentle smile and finished the sentence, “He looks into your soul and calls you beautiful for the person you are. That’s true love”. 

We reached home and I gave a tight hug to Daadu. He gleefully said, “My little princesses are back home! How was the wedding?” 

Kanchan looked coyly and said, “Suman really enjoyed her time there!” I widened my eyes at her. She hadn’t changed a bit. 

“Really, Suman? Well, maybe you learned a few things there and we should start thinking about your marriage!” Daadu had been trying to convince me to get married for a few years now but I kept declining saying that I wasn’t ready for marriage. The truth was that I couldn’t imagine myself marrying anyone besides Shravan.

But, I could not tell that to Daadu as he still held the Malhotra family responsible for Papa’s death. He knew that Shravan’s uncle was involved in the dealing of the vests and Devraj Uncle was yet to be proven innocent as his case was still pending in court. Despite the hatred Daadu had for the Malhotra’s, he always kept tabs on Shravan and his work in the army. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was really proud of him. Shravan had achieved so much in the army at a young age. 

I waited for Shravan’s call for days but he never called. I was getting worried as I tried calling him but his phone was unreachable. Being in the army myself, I knew that he was in a desolate area of Kashmir where network was poor and he was probably focusing on his work. I calmed down and told myself that I would let him focus on his mission and pray for his safety. He will call me when he is able to. 

After my vacation was over, I returned to my regiment. I still had not heard from Shravan but I continued focusing on my work. As a Captain, my regiment had certain expectations from me and I could not let my personal life stop me from fulfilling my duties. 

I had an important meeting to attend about an arms deal but I had trouble focusing as I kept thinking about Shravan. When the meeting was over, I stepped out to see everyone crowded around the TV looking concerned. I made my way to the front to see what everyone was watching so intently. 

I read the news headline: 

“Breaking News: Major Shravan Malhotra Captured by Terrorists”

My head started spinning. No, this couldn’t be right. Perhaps, I was dreaming. Negative thoughts raced in my head. Suddenly, I found myself gasping for air. Why can’t I breathe? My heart was pounding so loudly that I couldn’t hear the news reporter’s voice. I faintly heard:

“Currently, the Army is unable to communicate with Major Malhotra as it has been confirmed that he was captured by terrorists. His location and status of safety are unknown. This terrorist group is known for brutally torturing and not sparing the lives of their captives…”

I crashed down onto my knees. I clutched my chest as I couldn’t breathe and started shaking violently. My heart was racing and I felt a sharp pain in my lungs as if someone stabbed me. He was going to be okay. Nothing will happen to him. He promised me. I felt cold sweat running down my forehead. I looked at my arms as they were trembling uncontrollably. I felt someone grab my arm. The voices around me got fainter and my vision got blurry. He knows I’m waiting for him. He promised. Suddenly, everything went dark.