2. ACACIA

"You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.

_________ Jane Austen.

_______________________________________

I wish the situation was better but it isn't....

He gained consciousness, it wasn't easy for me to sit here and hear those screams and hollers of him which echoes through the hospital walls. It kills every bit of me for not being there for him, for not able to lessen his pain, his sorrows.

After all what I can do when he wish for me to just vanish from his life. I would have traded my life just for him to feel better, how I ever going to make him feel my love? How am I ever going to make him look at me as a human with feelings and emotions.

I sighed.

I'm too numb to realize what was happening with him and with me. I was engrossed in his thoughts. His screams and how he was tied to the bed so that he won't able to run away or to harm anyone like how he did me.

"Sssss." I hissed.

"Sorry... It's the disinfectant wipes." The nurse said by wiping the slit on my forehead which was a gift from him. I went into his room learning about him gaining his consciousness only for me to hear him shout some insanities at me and asking me to get the hell out from his face and never show mine ever again to him. I stood there beyond those words, relishing in the fact of seeing him alive and rekindling with the emotions which I stopped feeling for the past three years. In my stupor I failed to notice a medical equipment which must be sharp because I felt it slice through my skin on forehead missing my eyes.

I smiled at my cursed love which smirking back at me as his screaming face when I was pulled out of his room is dancing at the back of my eyes.

I opened my eyes when the door clicked open revealing Dr Samuel behind it. Dr Samuel walked in looking over the spec which slides down to his nose. "It will be better for both of you if you not see him again." He sighed seeing my dampened face, his eyes scanning my wound. "He got violent seeing you," finally it zoned in mine, "is there anything." I told him everything and still he asked me to stay away from him until he was composed, not knowing that I'll be losing my mind over it.

What I ever do for him to hate me? Why he is doing this to me.. I can't do anything other than being around him.. I'm not asking him to love me. Why can't he just think me as a human... Shouldn't I be the one to behave like this to him, then why he is punishing me? Okay I accept once I was his nightmare but I changed, everything changed, still he have to go around hating me.

I need to know what happened to my love. His nonstop screaming echoing throughout the hospital, which is piercing my heart, his request for drinks rocking the building..

~~~~

Jiju finally arrived I was beyond relieved because he had someone who can hold his hand and say some sweet words in his ears. I wished that was me. "Bhai... I want it bhai.. or I'll die." His holler reached me when the door to his room opened I saw jiju walking out. "Let me die bhai.." he wailed, I got up from my chair tears falling from my eyes, I wiped it as I saw the man doing the same.

"How is he?" I asked as soon as he reached me.

"Worse." That single word shattered my belief.

"What really happened?" I asked gathering my every bit of strength to voice out my thoughts. "What went wrong?" A hatred crossed his face as he pondered over my questions.

"Kavita." That one word told me I was right.

"How?"

"I need a refreshment." I nodding I guided him to the hospital cafeteria.

He took a sip of his black coffee, "Kavita broke up with him." He took another sip, but I was trying hard not to show any emotions, I'm having an emotional collision inside of me. "By telling him that he is just a fancy doll which is now no use for her to hold it in her hands. And he wasn't a material which worth for marriage and to give her a secured life. Without his money he is nothing to her." His hand which was holding the cup reached for his eyes wiped it by swiping his thumb. I wiped mine roughly. "She asked him to move on, and let her live a peaceful life with the man she love." And with that it erupted, my emotions, flowing through my mouth as I used some colourful words to adorn her.

"That tufthunter...." I stopped not wanting to say what I wanted to say, and my jiju I think he doesn't deserve it. I lowered my head. "I knew it... She is behind his money not him." I breathed out. "He was too possessed to look beyond her face." I gritted, controlling a sudden urge to taste her blood.

"He still refuse to believe that.." he sighed. "A week before that incident, he introduced her to maa and papa. Maa is okay with it. But papa he had other ideas, he forced it on him." He stopped giving me a look which implicated me what he was about to say will hurt me. Somewhat like that look.

"What idea is that?" I asked.

"You.." he stopped again giving one of his looks, like I could read the looks.

"Me?" It left my mouth as a question.

"Papa wants him to marry you." I snickered I know what would have been his reaction. "But he protested, fought against him and left the house and everything." He exhaled. "You know about papa, you never wanted to get in his bad side. He made sure he gets no money. He made him jobless. And he proved his point, she was behind his money. At cost of his life." I could feel his anger towards his father when he said those words. "Sanskaar.. he still refuse to accept Papa's idea of marrying you. He accepted all the poverty which was forced on him. He would have died starving just to be with her. She just left him." He piqued.

May be he would have died starving not to be with me.

"What did doctors reported about his condition." I diverted... I... I thought but until I saw tear drops.

"Yeah.. Doctors reported drug overdoses, involve mixtures of alcohol and tranquillizers. If he haven't admitted on time.. he might end up in fatal destruction." It brought tears to my eyes, I tried to be strong in front of this man but I lost it.

I'm cursing myself for leaving him in hands of that witch.. even after knowing about her intentions..

"When did he came to LA.? Why you people never inform me about his arrival.?" I yelled not caring that I was little bit harsh with him but I can't stop myself not after seeing him like this..

"It's been five months. Swara.. he doesn't want to be in India as her memory tormented him." He stopped. "He asked us not to tell you about his whereabouts." There is some laxity in his tone.

"Why.??" I asked him.

"Hmmm... You're a reminder of Kavita to him." It shattered me a lot more than his hatred. I gritted my teeth as anger clouding my eyes..

"Jiju I stayed here for two days.. now I have to join my job otherwise my boss will file a missing case. And might stick the poster around streets." He laughed for my words, I smiled at him though I'm dying inside. Only I knew how broken I'm, how my heart is bleeding... Over my love..

"You.." he hit me on my head.. "We missed you." I was about to leave.

"Swara.." he called me I turned my head towards him.. "You didn't ask about your sister and your funky prince." I mentally hit my head.. I totally forgot about my sister and my nephew in love for him..

"I know about my jiju.. he'll take good care of my sister.. and my funky... See you jiju." I ran away from the hospital. Wishing everything change in between us.

~~~~

One week had been passed. Everything is same. He is still not allowing me to see him, leaving me to visit him when he was asleep. I get know about that he consumed amphetamine. Which will slow down your brain, mixing with any kind alcohol, it's like a poison. Why he is spoiling his life for that worthless women..

I need make point that I'm not going to stay away from him not this time, definitely never. After getting to know about that I'm reminding him about Kavita, it had stole my sleep. How dare he is? I need to show him with whom he is clashing with. I'm Swara Gadodia.. I'm my own woman. I listen to no one Mr Sanskaar Masheswari with that pep talk I walked into his room.. he again started to shout at me.. Thank god I couldn't find any heavy and sharp things around him..

"Get out.!!" He screamed at me..

"I won't.." I walked further into the room.. "Why I have to.?" I asked casual suddenly realized that my nails a manicure as I survived them closely.

"Please Swara.. do as he says." Jiju scowled to pacifying him.

"Ohh Mr. Maheswari.. you don't know me before.. don't you..?" I barked in return..

"Get out you bitch." He chaffed at me. I squinted my eyes how dare he, love or not love no one calls me that.

"Bitch... that is you Mr.Maheswari.. not me.." I crossed my hands tilting my head up to show off my attitude. His breathing increased in pure rage..

"How long you know me.?" He startled with my question or with my voice which turned softer.

"I can say from my birth.. I'm not reminding you of anything other than that." I stopped not having mind to take that witch name. "Like the daughter of your papa's friend or the girl who used to fight with you all the time.. or the girl who gave you this.(pointing a scar on his forehead) or jiju's saali or your eternal enemy." He not giving up on his protest and screamed a get out, not bothering about his scream I continued. "Just tell me that I have never existed for you.. But not that.." I'm trying hard to control me but I can't.. "Not that I'm the reminder of that.." I ran out of the room as my emotions are on the point to burst out of me.

I cried, sitting alone in the lobby by hugging my knees. After giving myself a time, I again entered into his room he was under sedative, sleeping peacefully with a tear drops on the edges of his eyes..

~~~~

Days were passing like a jet.. it's been twenty days.. He is getting treatment under rehabilitation, at first he was adamant to cooperate with the doctors, implying that he never wanted to get treated. At some point he begged his brother to let them to leave him to destroy himself that he doesn't want to forget her and those drugs helped him in to lessen his pain. His cry for drugs and drinks never stopped. Leaving jiju to cry when he is alone thinking about his brother..

That was the time I felt his touch after a long time....

Sometimes it was pure fun to watch those brothers.. Sometimes they drench my eyes with tears.. That was one fun time I was having with them. He was whisking juju's hand which was forcing, hmmm, no begging him to take those dozens of medicine.. I lost interest in that drama at one point so I walked towards the bros. Took a glass of water from jiju and dilated my hands in front of me..

"Tablets." I said seeing jiju's eyebrows pointing at me, without question he placed those tablets in my palm. I gestures him to move aside so that I can take his place in front of his brother and he moved..

I moved closer to him.. "Say aaa.." I said as if I was dealing with a five year kid, he passed me one of his favorite angry glare..

"If you have this tablets.. I'll untie your legs.." I chirped with a shake to my shoulder, he opened his mouth without putting any argument surprising me and his brother. I dropped those tablets one by one into his mouth with a sip of water.. He swallowed, a sigh left me.. "See that wasn't difficult." I smiled.

"Untie it.. now." He groaned..

I moved to his legs so that I can untie it, but jiju stopped me from doing so, I convinced him and assured him that nothing will happen. I unlocked and released the leather straps around his ankles. "That was I now.." I was forced to stop my words as I saw him jumping at me pushed me over the wall by pointing a pocket scissor at my throat. His blood shot eyes are reflecting with the hatred for me.. Jiju was frozen with the happening, me in the other hand..

At least, now you came closer to me,
At last you sensed my presence.

I felt my throat muscles contracting each other as his hand over my neck tightened it's grip making it harder to swallow my saliva. I closed my eyes to compose myself this is not the time get panic. He can't do anything to me. You can do it Swara, you love him. Yeah you love him but he doesn't. The chaoticness that was me was stopped as soon as I heard his words.

"I want to drink now.." He wobbled.. "Open the door I have to go." He added by getting the sharp point of that scissor onto my neck..

"Sanskaar. Don't do anything.. I'll open the door.." jiju stammered as he was about to open the door.

"Jiju please don't." I shouted with my chucked throat as I can. He stopped on his way..

"Why are you stopping him..? I'll." Sanskaar gritted and I felt the sharp edge poking my skin.

"Why are you talking.? If you want to kill me go ahead.. slash my throat. Pierce this through my heart.. I'm ready to die.. but I'll never allow you to go out.. don't even thing about drinking." The brave side of me nutted out before I could rehears those words in my mind. His eyes widened in pure anger, his hand over my neck tightened strangling my throat. My breathing itched black spots covering my sights. Come on swara you can't give up on him. My subconscious boosted me..

"Im... Not.. afraid of you.. not now, not before, definitely never will be." I said goggly, definitely struggling to breath. He loosen his grip but still held my throat, giving some space for air to pass through it.

"See what have you transformed into.. a beast... The Sanskaar I know.. that's not you.." He left my throat held my chin pulled me closer to him..

"He died a long back ago.. don't talk about him to me." With that he left me walked towards the bed and made himself comfortable on it.

My eyes swell with tears,
let me cry today,
let me cry over my love,
let me cry in your arms.
My heart pleas.

"Ask her to get out." He said pointing his fingers towards jiju.

"Tell him that I'm not going anywhere." With that I took my seat on the couch, hiding my tears.

He passed a glare then he lied on the bed. Jiju sighed in relief. From that day it's me who is giving medicines to him, that's wonderful isn't it. I don't know why but he didn't say a word to me from then on..

That's how we came into a deal. Not soo deal but being around him is means butterflies my stomach, whenever his gaze fell on me.. Okay... Okay a glare. I get goosebumps without any reasons. See now I'm in my office but thinking about him.. I felt someone closing my eyes..

"Come on Nick.." I gave a hit on his hand which is covering my eyes..

"Hey my Juliet.. What's cooking in you.? Did you love me.. Haan.." He Started his work and that's flirting with me..

"Nick you're my boss that's why I'm leaving you.. otherwise I will." He stopped me by placing his fingers on my mouth, I squinted my eyes controlling the urge to eat his finger out so that he will learn a lesson.

"I'll tell you.." he crossed his hands around my shoulder pulled me closer to him.. he leaned his head on mine.. twisting his index finger in the air..

"What is that.?" I asked point his hand.

"Can't you see spiral.. FLASHBACK." I laughed at him..

Yeah there I was walking on the park it was a morning walk... hmm wait not so morning walk because it's already 11.. That was the day I officially met him, he was stalking me for about one week, following everywhere I went, if I turn back he'll ran away from me. That was the time were a serial killer was hunting the lonely girls, I was scared, thought him as a that psycho. That day a very special day. I saw him stalking me, I ran from there, hid behind a tree, the dump that he is he came running after me. I found it as a best time tackle him so I came behind him.. then what only he knows how much it pained for him..

"Yeah that was happened, then I said to her that I'm not a psycho killer.. I came behind her because I loved her.. She left me and walked out of the park, then I gave her the job offer of be my personal assistant.. wow nice idea.. it's been two years.. sometimes she confuses me about who's the boss here." I punched his cheeks playfully..

"Aww.. It's paining.. What you did to me.. Juliet.. I'm not talking about your hands, but I'm talking about your eyes.." his husky romantic voice put me into another fits of laughter, "I'm dead.." he swooned, I glared at him... He is Nickel Spencer, my boss.. and my admire.. Son of Mr. Mathew Spencer MD of Daily hunt news paper. And I really don't know how I got lucky to have him as a friend. I told him about me that I was already unlove with someone and all because I don't want to guide him to his fall. But he simply shhhued me saying that if I can love a person who didn't love me. Why can't him.. crazy pal.. but the best man I have ever seen.. if I haven't living Sanskaar.. I'm sure will be married to him by now.. who knows I might be mothered his child.. shhh don't tell him this.. then he will start his nonstop drooling.

"Nick.. I need to go soon." I said.. he shot out his head in shock..

"What is occupying you than me." He asked me with fake anger..

Ohh I didn't tell him about Sanskaar.. I thought he'll get possessive of me... But I have to tell him now right.

"He is here." I said without looking at him without taking his name or hinting about whom thought realization crossed across his face which took a sudden fall.

"That Romeo of yours." I nodded my head..

"Ohh man.. I was happy that I didn't have any competitors.. but now.." he sounded little disappointed.. "When he came here.? What the hell he is doing here.?" I glowered at him..

"Sorry.. jealous took over me." He said wiping his face..

I told him everything..

"Okay I must accept the fact.. he needs you.." I smiled at him and pinched his cheeks with my fingers..

"I see you tomorrow." I run to my love.. it's been totally eight hours.. I haven't seen him..

I opened the door walked in.. He is there reading book.. wow.. not bad.. I thought to myself..

"Hey Sanskaar.." with a smile I walked across his bed.. placed an Acacia Yellow flower on the table.. Im too busy in replacing the fresh flower into the vase..

"What are you doing.?" I shifted my head towards him. I turned to look at at him, my hands blindly gathering the dried flowers.

"Arranging the flowers." I raised by raising my eyebrows, thinking what is wrong with me doing the flowers.

"To whom.?"

"For you.!!"

"Acacia?!! that too yellow.."

"It look beautiful" I said by smelling it, "Damn.. it smells good."

"You know what it mean for."

I pursed my lips.. "Nope... I never know that flowers held meanings.." I felt stupid over it for not having a knowledge about it, but hey it wasn't my fault I'm not a flower girl. He smiled, robbing my sight.. my everything.

I'm hyperventilating... 'Ohhh my... Good Lord..' He... smiled at me.. in this twenty days.. ohh god I'm flying... I could see the angels wearing white frock circling me, tuning one of romantic tune that have ever tuned in this goddamn earth so far.

"Yeah they have... and this Acacia is for Concealed or hidden love." I dropped my jaws.. unknowingly I said my love to him.. What he going to do? What the heck I'm going to do now?.. Ohh god..

"Do you love me.." I joined my dropped jaws.. shook my head vigorously... First in yes... Then in no...

I want to say yes, louder; dear!!
Only if you want me to..

I would like to know that; is there anyone is as unlucky as me..

"You're funny." He is laughing... Just then jiju entered in along with doctor... Me and jiju walked out leaving doctor with him..

Your smile is the constant reminder of my existence.

"Thanks Swara.. he is smiling after six months.." he had tears in his eyes.. making me emotional too...

"It's my duty jiju... I'm gifted to do." I hugged him...

Later doctor came out... Jiju walked to his cabin. I entered into his room just he had his hospital shirt around his neck. My eyes fell on his chest where I found a burned marks buried beneath his hairs, my squeezed painfully just thinking over the pain that he had gone with the burnt marks.

"What was that..?" He didn't say a word instead he made himself on the bed.. I didn't push him more..

"I want you to meet one person.." I said by taking my seat on the couch..

"Who?" He asked.

"Hmmm... My boyfriend." I can see that he is not happy...

"What if I don't want to.?" He gritted..

I got a call from Pete.. I attended the call instead of answering him.. I didn't say a word I cut the call..

"You can't say no.." I got up from the couch and walked towards the door... "Because he is here." With that I opened the door..

"Hey beautiful..!!" Pete walked in..

"Hi dude.. what's up.?" His bewildered face is a treat to look upon, over Pete is action.. He walked towards him Voluntarily shook his hands with him and walked towards me pulled me down kissed me on my cheeks...

"You're still in your office suit.. why baby you didn't go home.." he kissed my other cheek...

"I have to.." I said by standing upright..

"Shall I visit you tonight." I smiled..

"No.. I know you have your exams tomorrow.. be a good boy.. I want you to score good marks in internal.." he pursed his lips.. I walked towards the couch.. along with him.. we both seated on the couch..

"Soo Sanskaar." I chaffed my hands, "Meet my boyfriend.. Pete.." Pete showed his cheek, smiling, I kissed him.

"What's his age.?" He asked me with a killer look on his eyes..

"Eight dude... Why.? You have any problem with me romancing this beauty. In front of you old man.." I laughed seeing the in-building fire in between these two...

"Ohh baby..!! are you cheating on me.?" Pete asked me frowning adding pink to his already pinky cheeks..

"Aww baby.. are you doubting me.." I acted crying...

"No no baby.. I'm not.. seeing him." He pointed him who is nearly on the verge of losing his patients.. "I thought... Okay where is our engagement ring.." he asked me..

I searched the ring in my bag.. "Gotcha.!!!" I showed it to him..

"What happened..?"

"It tore.." I showed a chocolate wrapper to him.. he took it from me.. he mended it with a tape.. he made me wear it again..

"Don't do it again." He warned me... he turned towards him... "He might look handsome... If I grow to his age.. I'll look more handsome than him." He laughed for his comments over him.. I kissed Pete on his fully shaved head..

"How many times I have to tell you.. don't do this." He chaffed at me...

I walked towards the door in response of the knock.. I opened the door..

"Hey Swara.." Mrs Pam walked in..

"Hello sir." She greeted him...

"Ohh mom.. I'll come later.." Pete mumbled.

"It's time, Pete.. Doctor is waiting for you."

"Mom." Seeing his mom's glower he walked out.. passing a kiss at me..

He again walked in.. "Hey dude.. get well soon.. I can't share Swara's time for me with you.." he went out leaving us, the elders to smile over his possessiveness...

"What is with him.?" Sanskaar asked Mrs.pam passing a query look at me.

"Metastasis.. advanced stage." with a smile she left...

I walked her to doors.. "Thank you Swara.." she hugged me and was gone..

"What is Metastasis.?" Before I close the door he shoot me with his question...

"Cancer. Metastasis is a cancer cells which spread cancer from one organ or part of the body to another without being directly connected with it." I can't control my tears as I walked out, Leaving him alone..

After few minutes I entered in.. I saw him with tears...

"What happened..?" I asked him

"He is just a kid... Why god is soo cruel.?" He said wiping his tears..

"He is not cruel Sanskaar.. he testing us, If we are loosing our hope on him or not.. I never lost my hope in him.. nor Pete he is a big devotee of Jesus Christ." I smiled at him..

"Did he knows that.." he stopped when tears chocking him.. "That he is going to die." I silently gave a nod..

He burst out into a sob... I let him cry... Slowly his sob turned into a weeping...

"How he can be soo normal and enthusiastic." He nagged.

"As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course. It is Martin Luther King Jr. Words.. Pete said this to me when I felt the urge to lose myself over the pain I felt.." I said looking through floor, remembering those days still brought pain. Lifting my head up to meet his "He boosted me Sanskaar... I know him for the past three years.. you know I lost interest in my life a long back ago.. He gave me courage to fight the life... He is just eight Sanskaar, if he can.. why can't us.!!" Tears were becoming uncontrollable in our eyes.. "He taught me to live my life; smile through all the odds it threw at me." I sighed and a smile formed on my face as I proudly look at him. I didn't have up.

"He hate empathy... You know what.. he has a big dream about his life. One is, he wants a girlfriend for his own.. he asked me I said yes. I badly want you to meet him.. he is an epitome of courage." I smiled in between my tears.. he reciprocated that smile to me..

I want to born as your tears in my next birth. So that I can born in your eyes, live in your cheeks, die in your lips.

Jiju came in all smiling, we wiped out tears and smiled back at him. He informed us about discharged tomorrow. But he have to continue with his medication. I walked to my junior and hugged him in joy, as soon as I pullback from the hug I looked at my love, He is all smiling...

"Love is like a child, That longs for everything it can come by" soo that I want more from you.

___________________

Hope you like it.

If so don't forget to like and comment.

Last quotes were Shakespeare's. And the above one I read somewhere. Rest were mine.

And, do forgive the typos.