Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Hopeless Heart

Silence prevailed in the hall for three good minutes and all the eyes were now fixed upon Arnav, including Khushi's.

"Why aren't you speaking anything, Chote?" Anjali asked pointedly.

"Khushi bitiya, you tell us. What's wrong?" Naniji asked Khushi again, her voice concerned.

"I don't think I am the right person to answer this, Naniji. He would tell you all. I am sorry" Khushi replied and without waiting to hear another question and she walked into the guest-room.

Overcoming the surprise of Khushi's abrupt departure, Anjali and Naniji turned their attention back to Arnav who was at a loss of words.

He hadn't expected Khushi to totally back out of the situation leaving him alone to answer the never-ending questions.

"Rings a bell, does it Raizada?" The sneering voice was back in his head.

"Recall a similar situation where you had left her all by herself to answer the questions of this very same family. Not just questions but the anger and taunts too. Recall the day you had forced her into this contract marriage. Still remember her helpless plight or have you gotten over the memory? The slap that she had to bear, the unleashed fury of her mother. All because of you.."

"Enough" He shouted, shutting the voice in some corner of his mind.

"Chote? Is this a way to behave? We're asking you a question and this is how you reply?" Anjali rebuked Arnav at his sudden outburst who realized he had spoken out loud.

"I am sorry, Di. I didn't mean to be rude. But.." Arnav trailed off, unable to decided what to say. With so many things already going on, he didn't know if revealing the whole thing to his family would be the right thing to do at the moment. He himself wasn't ready to acknowledge that Khushi was leaving him so how can he tell that to his family? No. He will not tell anyone anything. Not today.

"Are we ever going to get a reply, Chote?" said Anjali in an 'I-am-fed-up' manner.

"Did you two have some argument over something?" Naniji asked, making a guess.

"No. We didn't" Arnav replied with a sigh.

This was going to be difficult but there was no other way to handle the matter. He will have to do this, he decided and tried to come up with an explanation.

"If you two didn't have a fight why is phati saree..I mean Khushi, sleeping in the guest room?" Mamiji too decided this was time to jump into the conversation. She wasn't up for giving away this opportunity of taunting the Gupta sisters.

"Chote? Answer the question! Why is Khushiji sleeping in the other room?" Anjali asked, now really concerned by Arnav's lack of explanation.

As the questions were being passed from one side to other, Payal kept her quiet. There was nothing she could reveal without hurting the people standing in the room and that was something she didn't want to do. Also, this was not her time and place to speak.

So like others, she too waited for Arnav to answer the question.

"Whatever is going on between Khushi and me is our personal matter, Di" Arnav finally said, shutting everyone's mouth who looked at him with offended faces.

"Personal matter?" Anjali repeated, thinking she might have heard her brother wrong but Arnav stiffly nodded his head towards her.

"Yes! It's between the two of us. I know you all are worried about Khushi and me but there is nothing to worry. That's all I can say. Now, I am going to bed. Good night, everyone!" Arnav said in a clipped tone and left behind surprised faces.

Even Khushi, who stood behind the closed door of the guest room listening to everything was surprised at his outright dismissal of the questions.

Typical Arnav Singh Raizada. She shook her head.

~~***~~

Walking inside his room, Arnav paced to and fro, running a hand through his hair.

He felt that everything was slipping out of his hands every day. Khushi had chosen to stay in a separate room and now Shyam was back in the house. He didn't know what to do.

With Shyam lurking in the house, Arnav wanted to be as close to Khushi as possible. If she would allow, he would never leave her side for even a second. But, he knew that was just his wishful thinking. Khushi hates him. She wants to leave him.

Every time Arnav thought that, he felt like breaking something. How can she do this? How can she let everything end?

Will it be so easy for her to leave him while he couldn't even imagine breathing without her?

He knew he deserved this torture. But, he didn't know how to deal with it.

He ran his eyes around the room. It still looked lifeless. This room needs Khushi. He needs Khushi.

~~***~~

Khushi was trying to catch some much needed sleep after the eventful day but wasn't quite successful.

The new room and the new bed wasn't helping much either. She was used to sleeping on the right side of his bed, that's where she belonged.

But there was no chance she was going back to his room. She had decided that she would spend her remaining one month of the contract period in this room and then leave the house for the good of everyone and most importantly for her own good.

She closed her eyes and tried again to sleep but her mind was a maelstrom of thoughts and impermeable to allow any sleep in.

"What do I do, Devi Maiya?" She muttered to herself and got up, sitting upright on the bed with her legs crossed.

Looking around the room, she felt alone and scared. The lights were dim and moonlight was seeping in through the open windows. Cool breeze was gushing in too and Khushi found herself shivering.

She wanted warmth and there was no source of it in the room. She recalled sleeping next to Arnav in her bed at Gupta house and how she used to wake up tangled into his body. He had never minded.

In fact, he had sought her warmth too. Holding her hand while sleeping had become his habit too. Khushi tried not to think of him. All that was over.

No matter how much she wanted to be beside him at the moment, she knew she had taken the right decision in separating herself from him.

~~***~~

Arnav lay awake in his bed. Today, he had decided to skip the recliner and try to sleep in his bed. A faint smell of Khushi still lingered in the sheets and Arnav had thought it will help him sleep. But, it kept reminding him how she was so far away.

He forced his eyes close and tried to imagine her lying next to him. But, it all seemed wrong. He wanted to hold her hand, he wanted to watch her sleep.

Her absence on the bed felt like physical pain to him at the moment. He got up from the bed and looked around.

He needed to see her. Just a glimpse. Deciding that, he stepped out of his room and climbed down the stairs to reach the ground floor.

His heart thudded violently asvhe took slow, soft steps towards the guest room.

By the time he realized that she must have locked the room before going to bed, he was already standing in front of the door.

How was he supposed to see her now? Was she sleeping? Should he knock?

Before he could have second thoughts about the whole thing, he tapped at the door. Once. Twice.

After a minute passed by, he realized she must be asleep. The day had been too hectic for her.

It was foolish of him to think she too might be unable to sleep without him. With a disappointed heart, he turned away from the door only to hear it open.

He turned back and found a surprised Khushi looking at him. It didn't look as if she was sleeping. Arnav didn't try to read too much into it.

"Arnavji?" She spoke softly, rubbing her eyes. Did she think she was dreaming?

Arnav couldn't help the small smile that formed on his lips. She looked so cute and inviting. If only he could pull her in his arms and keep her with him forever.

"Yeah. It's me" He said, running a hand down his face. She looked so distracting.

Her open hair were adding to her nightly charm and he wished he could run his fingers through them.

Khushi noticed her husband's wandering eyes and focused gaze. She felt like she should run inside the room and hide. What was he thinking? Most of all, what was he doing knocking at her door at two am in the night?

She cleared her throat.

"Why have you come here, Arnavji?" She asked, doing her best to ignore his intense eyes.

"I can't sleep" He replied, looking at her face and trying to have his fill for the night.

The answer from him rendered Khushi speechless for a second. She didn't know what to say to his honest admission especially when she herself was facing the similar problem?

"Please, Arnavji. I need to sleep. Go to your room" She replied after a moment, looking downwards.

"Okay" He replied and Khushi nodded. She waited for him to leave but was confused when he kept standing before her, showing no signs of moving.

"You are still standing here?" She said.

"Yes, I am.You said you're sleepy, so go ahead and sleep, Khushi. My standing here shall not be a disturbance. Good night" He answered, taking a step back and resting him arm against one of the pillars near the room.

"Aren't you going to sleep too?" She asked instinctively.

"I can't sleep alone in that room" He replied, looking at her with yearning.

"Arnavji, please. I know why you are doing this but I won't come back to th..." She started but his beautiful smile made her stop.

"I am not asking you to come back to our room, Khushi. I know I have lost all the rights to do so. I was only answering your question. I am sorry if it sounded that way. I am standing here because I can't sleep" He replied, sliding his both hands in the pockets of his trouser and looking at the floor.

"Are you going to stand here the entire night?" Khushi asked, feeling irritated at his words and at him. What was he trying to do? Why is he trying to be so nice to her now?

"I don't plan to stand all night but I don't know. Going back to my room is useless. I can't sleep there without my wife" He answered, his smile sad and Khushi immediately wished she hadn't asked the question in the first place.

"You need rest, Arnavji. It's not good for your health to stand here" She replied, shifting her weight onto the other leg.

"I am not good for you" He replied dejectedly and Khushi didn't know what to say, where to look. While Khushi desperately wanted to agree with his words, she couldn't.

She looked at the man before her. Her husband. He looked so vulnerable Khushi could have never imagined even in her bizzare dreams.

Arnav, on the other hand, regained himself and watched Khushi. Looking at her was such a privilege, he had come to realize. He remembered the time when she had made herself scarce after he had told her he didn't want to see her face.

Even then, he had hardly survived a day without looking at her. Only this time, he knew the damage he has caused was too deep. He has lost Khushi's respect, trust and love. Regaining all these precious things back was going to a long time. He was barely scratching the surface at the moment. But, he was determined to repair all that he has broken.

He saw Khushi prepare to speak.

"Good night. And please go back to your room, Arnavji" She said and stepped back into the room, shutting the door.

~~***~~

The next morning Khushi woke up late from her disturbed sleep. She threw a look on the wall-clock and it said 7:36 a.m.

Hurrying up with the morning necessities, she joined everyone for the breakfast, where Payal was already serving Akash and Arnav.

She noticed the quick look Arnav gave her before divulging himself back into his breakfast.

She headed towards the table and took a seat next to Akash.

"Good morning, Khushiji" Akash wished her with a smile and she wished him back.

"Bhai? You just started eating and you're leaving already?" Akash asked as Arnav excused himself and rose out of his chair.

"Yeah, I have a meeting, Akash" He said avoiding looking at Khushi.

"Oh okay. I'll see you in the office then, Bhai" Akash replied.

"Chote?" Arnav was about to leave when Anjali arrived in the hall.

"Yes, Di?" He asked.

"I know you have already told us that whatever is going on between you two is personal. But I want to know that why were you standing before the guest room early in the morning?" Anjali asked making everyone look at Arnav in surprise, including Khushi.

Arnav avoided looking at Khushi.

"Khushiji? At least I expect an answer from you. What is going on with you two?" Anjali turned her eyes to already surprised Khushi who was looking at Arnav with disbelieving eyes.

"You don't have to ask Khushi, Di. I was standing there because I wanted to. That is it and now I am getting late for my meeting. Bye." He replied and left leaving behind astonished faces of his family.

______________________________________

Hey people, sorry for this delayed update but this is how it's going to be from now on. My college has started and that too with new adjusted timings. So I come home quite late and that means less time for writing. Yet I would try my best to update each third day i.e., two or if I can manage, three updates per week.

Thank you to all of you for being understanding and patient enough.

P.S.Please scroll down to check the NOTE I have left. It is really VERY IMPORTANT.

-Kiran

Pearl_Oyster2019-03-31 06:18:19