CHAPTER
11
Changes
Maithili hit the brakes
really hard.
"F*@#%^! idiot!" she cursed
the car that just rudely passed her. She was driving to the Mehra house to pick
up Ashu for Gauri's dance program. She had told Ashu that she'd arrive at 7 pm,
and it was only 6 pm now. She wanted to get there early. The reason was Adi.
She needed to see him. She hadn't seen him in about a week, and after seeing
him everyday for roughly a month, it was too much to just have to be away from
him so much.
She remembered the exchange
they had at his office and it made her feel like she was sinking. She felt like
her life was on an uncontrollable roller coaster. She knew she had been
developing feelings for Adi, but she was scared of doing anything about it. The
risks were too high. Screwing up her friendship with Adi. Losing Shruti's
confidence, friendship, trust... Both these people had come to matter a lot to
her, and she didn't know how to manoeuvre this situation anymore. Staying away
from Adi didn't seem like an option. So then what? Her heart beat faster and
faster as she got closer to their house. She signalled hurriedly to their
watchman, who opened the gate for her with a smile.
From his bedroom window, he
watched her arrive. He wanted to rush up to her, fill his arms with her, but he
couldn't. He knew she was unsure of things, and he didn't want to rush her. But
this was difficult for him. He sulked in his room. Let her take Ashu to the
stupid dance thing. He wouldn't even go downstairs to say hi to her.
"Hey dude," said Maithili to
a confused looking Ashu.
"You're early," he glanced
at the clock, which showed 6:20. "About…40 minutes early."
"Yeah, it's good to see you
too, Ashu," she joked.
"Sorry, that's not what I
meant. Of course you're welcome here anytime."
She scanned the living room eagerly.
Ashu could almost read her mind.
"Adi's his room, upstairs,
to the left."
She smiled at Ashu and made
her way up the stairs when she ran into Shruti.
"Hey Mitu! You and Ashu are
going to Gauri's program tonight, na?" Shruti asked with a smile. Maithili
smiled at the nickname Shruti had come to use for her.
"Haan, aunty. But I thought
I'll say hi to Adi before leaving."
"Ah yes…by the way, make
sure you bring Ashu back home safely. Who knows, maybe he'll melt into liquid
after seeing Gauri dance," Shruti joked.
"He just might," Maithili
smiled, quickly nodded her bye to Shruti, and made her way towards Adi's room.
She sensed that Maithili
looked impatient. I wonder what's happening between those two, she thought to
herself. A small frown formed on Shruti's face.
* *
*
"Adi?" she said, knocking on
his door. He froze at this. He didn't think she would come upstairs looking for
him. He glanced at himself quickly in the mirror and opened the door to let her
in.
"Hey, you" she greeted him
with a smile. As if nothing had happened. As if everything was jolly
perfect. He stretched his lips to give a curt smile.
"Is that supposed to pass
for a smile?" she asked him.
"Come in," he motioned
towards an armchair. But she didn't sit down.
"So…this is Aditya Mehra's
bedroom," she looked around. There were books, some empty coffee mugs and
glasses, as well as business and news magazines scattered around, but overall
it was a fairly neatly-kept room. She turned around, facing him again.
"Miss me?"
He looked at her with a
quizzical expression for asking this entirely stupid question. He was sure she already
knew the answer.
"I came to pick up Ashu, for
the dance program."
"I remember." He was still
sulking.
"I wish you could go with
us, but there are only two tickets. And the event is sold out, as you know."
He nodded distractedly.
"Adi… do you want me to not
be here?" she asked.
"Maithili…," he walked
towards her. She tensed up, slightly worried. He stopped. He didn't want to
make her uncomfortable. So he leaned against the wall and folded his arms,
keeping a safe distance from her.
"You want to know
something?" he began. "This is from a long time ago. 5 years ago, I guess. I
had lost something at college. It felt like something tangible, like maybe my
phone, or a book, or even something stupid, like a pen. I didn't even know what
I had lost, but I kept looking…," he glanced at her. "You know that feeling?
When you've lost something?"
"Yeah," she nodded, "I've
lost plenty of my things like that." What was he going on about, she wondered.
He was silent for a few moments, staring outside the window. She slowly walked
towards him, finding a spot next to him. She folded her arms behind her and
also leaned against the wall.
"I'm sorry if I've hurt you,
Adi," she said shakily. "I just don't know what to do…and I…" she couldn't
continue. She didn't have the words to explain, and what would she explain when
she didn't herself understand.
They both waited for the
other to talk. She then glanced at her watch and knew it was time for her to
go. He was still looking in the direction of the window when she softly said
bye and walked toward the door.
Just as she was at the door,
he started talking again.
"You know, that terrible
feeling that something had gone missing…it was so confusing, because I had
forgotten what it was that went missing in the first place.…Looking back now, I
realize that every time I would walk into a room back then, almost
subconsciously searching it…for, I don't know, how many months I did this…It
was you I was looking for. Even though I knew. I knew you had left,
because there was an announcement in the college notice board. I read it and pretended
it didn't matter to me."
She stopped, with her brow
furrowing. She turned around and looked at him. He was facing her now.
"Deep down I've known
something for the past 5 years that I didn't admit to myself. I've known that
the second you left, the way I felt about you changed drastically. It changed
from childish conflict laced with an incredible attraction…to something else.
Something deeper."
She closed her eyes and bit
her lip, her brow still furrowed, as if begging him to stop. But he walked
towards her and continued.
"And then I saw you again. I
saw you after your interview at SAG. When you were walking…in that breeze. That
long lost feeling seized me then. Because I had found what I didn't even know I
had lost." It pained him to say all this, she observed. His eyes had moistened.
She felt a helpless disorientation. Her fists were clenched, her teeth were
shut tight, lips quivered, and the tears kept flowing, and she couldn't control
any of it. She did the only thing she could do at that moment.
She ran into his arms and
cried, clinging to him with desperation. He held her quietly with his eyes
closed, and his hand gently stroking her head. Small masses of her shiny hair
slipped in and out of his hand. It felt like his body was the only stabilizing
factor in her life at that moment. She felt like if it wasn't there, she'd
fall, keep falling…into unknown depths. And for him, her body was the only
thing that could soothe him. It was only when she ran and clung to him that he
realized he had been in pain. Some part of him had been in pain for 5 years,
and she had now erased it.
They didn't need to talk in
that moment, and neither of them could talk anyway. So they stood there for a
few minutes until she heard Ashu call her name from downstairs.
She slowly withdrew and
looked into his eyes. She smiled at him. The warmest, most comforting, most
gentle smile he had ever seen. He wiped off her tears, smiling back at her.
She cleared her throat.
"I need some time, Adi."
He nodded. "Have fun
tonight."
* *
*
"You look gorgeous," Tanu
said cheerfully to her nervous-looking friend.
"I hope everything goes
okay," Gauri replied.
"Of course it will! You've
worked really hard on this."
They were in the dressing
room, where Gauri and her dancers were preparing for the program. Tanu had been
helping her with her make-up, and she looked pleased with the result. She then
remembered something she had forgotten to tell Gauri.
"Ashu's here tonight."
"Really?" she said, the
worried creases in her forehead disappearing. "That's awesome! How did you get
him a ticket?"
"I didn't. Maithili Aggarwal
is bringing him here. Apparently she knows the organizer…what's her name,
Pragati. Pragati sold Maithili the last two tickets, and she asked if Ashu
wanted to come with her. Anyway, that's what Ashu told me."
"Hey that's pretty nice of
Maithili," Gauri said, still fiddling with her make-up.
"I guess," Tanu said
dismissively, "I'm going to sit with aunty and uncle, not with Maithili and
Ashu."
"Tanu, come on. Let it go."
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, good
luck, I know you'll be great." Saying this, Tanu planted a brief kiss on her
friend's head, careful not to mess up her hair.
As Tanu was walking down the
narrow hallway, the washroom door banged outwards, hitting her sharply. She
lost her balance and fell, with her face turned towards the floor.
"Ouch!"
"Damn it, I'm so sorry! This
stupid door, and this hallway is so narrow…here, let me help you up."
She turned her face towards
the tall frame standing over her and winced even harder. It was that stupid bandwaala.
As soon as Percy realized it
was her, he withdrew his hand. "If I knew it was you, I would've pushed the
door harder!" he said, grinning.
Tanu stood up and looked at
him furiously. "Listen, you loser! Don't you dare act smart with me. I am still
pissed off for what you pulled at the music store last week. How dare you
misbehave with me, with Tanu Mehra? Do you even know who I am? You are nothing
compared to me, bandwaala."
Percy looked amused. He
barely reacted to her words.
"Listen, sweetheart. The name is Percy. Not bandwaala. Though maybe Percy
Bandwaala sort of has a nice ring to it…"
"Ugh, shut up!"
"No, you shut up, Tanu
Mehra," he sarcastically mocked the way she had said her name. "I've heard
enough of your nonsense. I knew you were spoiled, but god, you just reach new
lows every time I see you."
"You…"
"Shut up. Just shut up," he
ordered calmly. Before she could get a word in edgewise, he moved towards her
and backed her up against the wall.
"Do you know what happens to
spoiled girls like you, Tanu Mehra?" he asked, very slowly and menacingly. "I
happen to know exactly how to deal with your….type," he continued with a
brief pause where he looked at her from head to toe, and back up again. The way
he looked at her like that unnerved her. He moved closer. Her breath quickened
with an unknown fear. She couldn't believe that she, Tanu Mehra, was scared of
this…this, bandwala. No. No! She wouldn't react. She wouldn't show that she was
scared of him.
He was only a few inches
away from her face. He leaned in closer and closer. Her heart raced. All that
she could hear was her heart beat unusually fast. All she could smell was his
cologne. She closed her eyes. He could tell he had managed to unsettle her.
That was all he wanted.
"Boo," he whispered into her
face. He then turned around laughing and walked away, leaving her stunned.
Tanu timidly walked back
into the audience seating section. She immediately spotted Percy sitting with
his friends in the same corner as Rishika aunty and Rishabh uncle. He caught
her glance and raised his eyebrow at her with a smug smile. She wouldn't go to
that corner where that loser bandwaala was sitting, she decided. Just then, she
heard someone say her name.
"Tanu! Over here!"
Oh god. It was Maithili
Aggarwal. Tanu reconsidered her options. Better Maithili Aggarwal than that
jerk, she thought, and walked over to Maithili and Ashu.
"Ufff.. Tum dono na," Tanu
feigned irritation. "Well, I was going to sit with aunty and uncle, but fine,
fine, I'll sit with you two. I'll probably make both of you look good, and looking
at the outfits you're both wearing, you need something to make you look
good." Saying this, Tanu casually dropped in the seat next to Maithili. Maithili
and Ashu smiled at each other. They hadn't even asked Tanu to sit with them.
They were about halfway
through the dance program when the dancers left the stage and Gauri came back
on for a solo performance. She had changed and was dressed in a flowing, white,
layered costume. She moved across the stage diagonally with an unbelievable
grace. In that moment, Gauri shone like a white gem. It was less because of her
costume or the lights, and more because of the way in which her feet created
perfect, dynamic motions along which she moved her body. She sparkled.
Ashu's face had been resting
on his elbow as he watched captivated. Gauri moved in a circle with elongated
white fabric swirling around her. The view was so angelic that Ashu's elbow
dropped from the arm of his chair. Maithili and Tanu looked at each other and
quietly giggled.
"Aaj jaise iski lottery lagi
hai. Probably the first time he's looked at her properly," whispered Tanu in
Maithili's ear.
Maithili continued to giggle
at this.
But Ashu kept staring at
Gauri, unfazed by what was going on around him. Something deep inside him had
changed.
Edited by --arti-- - 15 years ago
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