Chapter 3
Time-out
Zoya wandered into the kitchen only realising a minute later, that wasnât her room. She dragged her sluggish body back and hoped her brain to be numbed by some kind of anaesthetic. She was tired of her thoughts. They were darker than the deep night and settled sorely on every part of her being.
âMiss Faaroqui?â
She let out a small yelp and placed her hand over her heart.
âSorry, I didnât mean to scare youâ Asad muttered embarrassed.
âWell, you did six packsâ she mumbled to herself. He heard.
âWhy are you not in your room?â Asad pretended he hadnât heard the question.
âWould you like some coffee?â he said instead. Zoya raised an eyebrow but agreed.
She sat down at the same spot they had the chat at a night ago; this time facing the garden. She questioned again when he approached âYou trying to win at the no sleep Olympics like me, Mr. Khan?â
Asad didnât smile. It was the eyes. Even though she attempted to joke, she carried with her those empty eyes. âNo, I just woke up when I felt movement in the kitchen outside.â
âWow, that light a sleeper huhâ she sipped on her milky coffee while Asad wondered when he had become such a suave liar.
He couldnât sleep. Not a wink. Not when he knew she couldnât. After coming back from her long walk, she had retired to her friendâs room upstairs, but he somehow had the intuition she would be roaming about the garden in the middle of the night. Just like she always did whenever restless.
So, he sat out there, waiting, urging sincerely he was wrong.
âSo, how was the walk?â
A small smile slipped her lips âI know what you all are trying to do. Trust me, If I could fall asleep that easy, I would. I am not necessarily enjoying being with my thoughts alone either.â
âThen share themâ Zoya decided to look him in the eye searching agendas and saw nothing but encouragement. Why was it so easy to tell him?
A few seconds passed by before she spoke âI feel like a kid in time-out whose punishment just wouldnât end. Every time in the past I came face to face with any kind of pain, I would let it give me perspective and then open the front door and invite it to leave.â She rested her eyes upon the leaves, fluttering in the open space. âBut this is different. Itâs raw and numbing. The sense of all surroundings keep getting closer and I canât seem to see anything but darkness.â
Asad didnât trust his voice to come out even so he waited. He hadnât seen Zoya cry once after that terrible night.
Her family came, sobbed and wept on her shoulders but she didnât. Everyone had sensed her detachment and the only way through solace was to make her feel something again.
He had to break the walls before she built them strong.
âIt is challenging in the darkness to shine a light of your ownâ he whispered; voice soft, eyes on the brilliant moon. âYet in the short time I have known you, you have managed to do it every time. Not just for yourself but also for me and my family. I have always admired your strength Miss Faaroquiâ he looked at her now, eye to eye, both faces shining in the splendid moonlight.
âAnd a strength like yours never crumbles nor finishes. It might get tired and want to rest occasionally but never ceaseâ Asad noticed a lone tear make its appearance in her eye and continued; his face scooting a little closer âEveryone in this house today is worried for your well-being and happiness. Some went to sleep worried, some couldnât. Some travelled overseas and some sit with you at 3:30 in the morning.â Her eyes widened a bit. Asadâs fluttered tensely. He knew heâd said too much but he needed to kept going.
âWe see the pain, we all do, you are not fooling anyone. ThisâŚunfortunate decision made by the universe is probably going to hurt for a long time; and you are allowed to feel it. Itâs okay. What you are not allowed to do is make this your finish line. Donât do that to yourself alright, donât do that to your family.â
She couldnât move but her emotions did. The houseâs emotionally challenged man had managed to break the dam she had so carefully sealed.
Maybe it was the fact that nobody had come to her without pity in their eyes and his held none. A little teary, they spelled hope and belief and dare she say held an ocean of care.
And that was the reason it was so easy to talk to him. Because to him and only him, she wasnât a bechari.
âItâs hardâ her body and voice broke.
âI knowâ he said as he engulfed her in a hug setting her tipping mug down. It was weird to say it out loud but he could finally relax that she was crying. His hold on her was gentle for he was scared to cross a line.
It was starting to lightly rain outside, the pitter patter of it mixed with her soft sobs. Asad closed his eyes and waited for her to drain all the pretense, all the ache out.
A while later when only the sound of raindrops remained, he opened his eyes to find her nestled in his arms; fast asleep.
***
Hope was the one tune in her world that never stopped playing. Given, it was without words for now, but she was sure she would find those soon too in the peaceful shadow of her loved ones. After a good nightâs rest, Zoya decided to be the one thing her family wanted her to be Ââ not miserable.
Mr. Khan was right. The pain wonât be going anywhere soon. There was no point cracking shayaris and joking around because her heart didnât allow it yet. But there shall be no detaching and faking it. So, she settled on â not being a walking zombie; for herself; for her familyâŚfor him.
For the first time since last three days, she stepped out of her room expectant to see what the day held.
âZoya, come hurry!â Noshini yelled from the dining table. âLook at what Asad was able to come up in a nightâs timeâ she continued impressed.
Her hands held a full itinerary of their Ajmer Shareef trip. Zoya looked on astonished. They were going on a trip?
âOh wait, you donât know, do youâ she said gauging her reaction âNajma came up with this last night when you were out on your walk. Isnât this so great! Wow, Iâve only ever seen these places in pictures.â
And the discussion continued the whole afternoon. They were supposed to leave early next morning. Asad had purposely put a day for everyone to pack and decide if any changes needed to be made.
He walked into the house late that afternoon longing to see just one face.
âHiâ Zoya greeted him at the door with a smile. He smiled back and nodded. A real smile, she noticed.
âAap kahi ja rahi hai?â He eyed her iPad and purse.
âYes, the ladies wanted to shop a little before the trip so I am joining them at the mallâ
âThey are already there?â He asked before she could step past him.
âYesâ She stepped out the door but was stopped shortly by his question again.
âThen how are you going, Ammi must have the other car.â
Zoya frowned and replied as if obvious âUmmâŚAuto? Taxi? Is there a strike going on I should know about?â
âIâll drop youâ he said as a matter of fact and started closing the door.
Normally, she would tell him she didnât need babysitting but today was different. There were things to talk and thank about, plus she hadnât seen his face since morning. Sheâd missed him.
The ride was silent much to her annoyance. It felt her tongue had stuck her mouth shut. No words would come out whatsoever.
Why was she sweating?
She turned the A/c on full blast and maneuvered its tiny blinds towards her.
âYou okay Miss Faaroqui?â
âThank youâ
Asad briefly glanced at her while steering the car. âYouâre welcome. I had an errand to run anywayâ
What?!
âMr. Khan, I meant for last nightâ
Pin drop silence in the car. So, she continued.
âEach and every word meant a lot to meâŚwould always mean a lot. So, thank you for caring enough to say them, helping me however you could in my search, letting me stay in your house, welcoming my family so warmlyâŚIâŚthanks for everythingâ She finished as he parked the car. Glancing from under her lashes, she took a quick look at his figure.
His face was expressionless, eyes stuck on the windshield straight ahead. Anybody else would miss it but she noticed the small nod he gave.
Zoya took that as an acknowledgement and walked towards the mall without looking back.
***
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