IS THERE NOT A PROBLEM WITH THIS SHOW?

As we all know there was a show in 2017 which glorified marriage between a little boy and an adult woman called pehredar piya ki which was banned(thankfully). 

Having a few things in mind I would like to state here my opinions on barrister babu. First of all, the situations in which the marriage happened made sense nd i understand why he married her. Second the relationship was platonic between them. And third obviously the different time period makes it different from ppk

1. But as I watched the show, the show at many times was pretty hypocritical. At one place they showed how child marriage was harmful to children on the other they glorified child marriage in many instances. I mean, the bond to me is not a problem when it's between two friends, between  a mentor mentee. But they did show them as a couple, even though as a platonic couple in some instances. In short they glorified a platonic child marriage in many points. And the audience of the show were very supportive of it all. Were even protesting to make an adult call a girl child his wife. Also the romantic vms nd creepy fan fics nd all, the intent of the producer could be good or bad but the effect it had on people was problematic as hell. Specially the young people, believe or not it did influence people in a negative light. Maybe such a delicate topic for this reason should be a finite series not more than 100 episodes. And the worst part, not once did the writer/producer/director/adult cast of the show came forward to maybe address people that it isn't cool to ship neither anirudh bondita nor aurra pravi as both bondita and aurra as kids!!

2. And specifically the romantic relationship. People may say the romantic relationship between them is not problematic as it started when they were both adults.That's exactly the excuse ped****** use when they prey on kids. They choose their victim, a child and groom them into a relationship with themselves slowly and after they are off age pounce on them and romance them. It appears consensual but sadly it's not. Now it would only be ignorant to say that the feelings which came into bondita as an adult were harmless nd not problematic. Don't tell me if anirudh had taken her responsibility like a brother nd not a husband at the point nd then taught her, gave her wings, would she have still fallen for him? No. She would have seen him as nothing but a brother figure or most to most a friend but not a potential romantic mate she wants to marry. So is it not a problem? And anirudh?? How is it so easy that you mentor a child and fall in love with them when they're off age? And the way his feelings were shown, that confession in front of vaijanti when exactly did he fall in love with her? When the 12 year old went away from him? So the 22 year old fell for the 12 year old after he parted away from her was what he confessed to adult bondita. Infact he was seeing her as a potential mate. The romantic angle itself is problematic but the way it came makes it worse. This is potentially the definition of child grooming. 

Now we know this is itv nd the clinched trope of romance was quite foreseen but does that make it non problematic? So my question is should shows like this even be made, specially on TV when trp can make people do anything? Nd did it do people any good? Max people never watched it for the social messages but for just the couple. 

These are just my views on the show, if anyone wants to put out theirs please be respectful 

Originally posted by: Nothingatall

As we all know there was a show in 2017 which glorified marriage between a little boy and an adult woman called pehredar piya ki which was banned(thankfully). 

Having a few things in mind I would like to state here my opinions on barrister babu. First of all, the situations in which the marriage happened made sense nd i understand why he married her. Second the relationship was platonic between them. And third obviously the different time period makes it different from ppk

1. But as I watched the show, the show at many times was pretty hypocritical. At one place they showed how child marriage was harmful to children on the other they glorified child marriage in many instances. I mean, the bond to me is not a problem when it's between two friends, between  a mentor mentee. But they did show them as a couple, even though as a platonic couple in some instances. In short they glorified a platonic child marriage in many points. And the audience of the show were very supportive of it all. Were even protesting to make an adult call a girl child his wife. Also the romantic vms nd creepy fan fics nd all, the intent of the producer could be good or bad but the effect it had on people was problematic as hell. Specially the young people, believe or not it did influence people in a negative light. Maybe such a delicate topic for this reason should be a finite series not more than 100 episodes. And the worst part, not once did the writer/producer/director/adult cast of the show came forward to maybe address people that it isn't cool to ship neither anirudh bondita nor aurra pravi as both bondita and aurra as kids!!

2. And specifically the romantic relationship. People may say the romantic relationship between them is not problematic as it started when they were both adults. I mean how?? That's exactly the excuse ped****** use when they prey on kids. They choose their victim, a child and groom them into a relationship with themselves slowly and after they are off age pounce on them and romance them. It appears consensual but sadly it's not. Now it would only be ignorant to say that the feelings which came into bondita as an adult were harmless nd not problematic. Don't tell me if anirudh had taken her responsibility like a brother nd not a husband at the point nd then taught her, gave her wings, would she have still fallen for him? No. She would have seen him as nothing but a brother figure or most to most a friend but not a potential romantic mate she wants to marry. So is it not a problem? Is it not grooming? And anirudh?? How is it so easy that you mentor a child and fall in love with them when they're off age? And the way his feelings were shown, that confession in front of vaijanti, when exactly did he fall in love with her? When the 12 year old went away from him? So the 22 year old fell for the 12 year old? The romantic angle itself is problematic but the way it came makes it worse. This is potentially the definition of child grooming. 

Now we know this is itv nd the clinched trope of romance was quite foreseen but does that make it non problematic? TV affects people's minds and that's what we consume as entertainSo my question is should shows like this even be made, specially on TV when trp can make people do anything? Nd did it do people any good? Max people never watched it for the social messages but for just the couple. 

These are just my views on the show, if anyone wants to put out theirs please be respectful 

It's ok, everyone is allowed to give their views.

So regarding the first point I will neither agree nor disagree! I feel that their friendship was glorified more but yes typical pati-patni dialogues coming from a child's mouth didn't seem nice to me. She didn't sound much like a child, rather more like an adult woman which irritated me, specially after Heeramandi Track! Though their bond was platonic only and they both were shown like best friends but the dialogues were quite not well-written! Regarding the vms, most of the fans are young teenagers who are immature! I agree that the writers and the directors should have come forward to clear this but why didn't they do this?...This shipping of an adult and child is a complete disaster! Actors should have cleared everything!

About the second point! A pedophile is a person who is suffering from a psychiatric disorder from birth in which he/she is attracted towards prepubescent children (Not even teenagers). Not all pedophiles are child molesters just like not all child molesters are pedophiles! They are born like this only so no one can help it but good ones don't cause any harm to a child. Regarding the feelings! Bondita always admired Anirudh from the beginning regarding his thought process! She herself said that he talks good things. By seeing that such a good man he was she started having feelings for him (platonic). Also Bondita became his closest friend! They both trusted each other, supported each other and cared for each other just like best friends do! So they became closest of closest friends! Well one thing I feel that human emotions, feelings are neither wrong nor right. Feelings and intentions aren't same! Feelings are what we naturally feel! It's not in our hands! While intentions! They are always before any action done! You can control your own intentions but not feelings! So same case with both of them! So I think this differentiates pedophiles from child molesters! Most of the pedophiles feel attracted but child molesters! Their intention is to satisfy their lust! So this isn't grooming! They developed some romantic feelings (strong emotional attraction) but their love isn't romantic! I can say that the execution was quite poor! The dialogues should have been more subtle and mature which didn't show them only as lovers! They are first best friends! 

Yes, things do impact everyone's mind but this depends on the person too, how they take the impact on themselves! A person's mindset differs everyone from others! 

Also not everyone watches this show only for them. Some watched only for social issues, some for them and some for both! 

I hope I didn't disrespect you anyway, I gave my views too!❤️ 

Originally posted by: Tinnie96

It's ok, everyone is allowed to give their views.

So regarding the first point I will neither agree nor disagree! I feel that their friendship was glorified more but yes typical pati-patni dialogues coming from a child's mouth didn't seem nice to me. She didn't sound much like a child, rather more like an adult woman which irritated me, specially after Heeramandi Track! Though their bond was platonic only and they both were shown like best friends but the dialogues were quite not well-written! Regarding the vms, most of the fans are young teenagers who are immature! I agree that the writers and the directors should have come forward to clear this but why didn't they do this?...This shipping of an adult and child is a complete disaster! Actors should have cleared everything!

About the second point! A pedophile is a person who is suffering from a psychiatric disorder from birth in which he/she is attracted towards prepubescent children (Not even teenagers). Not all pedophiles are child molesters just like not all child molesters are pedophiles! They are born like this only so no one can help it but good ones don't cause any harm to a child. Regarding the feelings! Bondita always admired Anirudh from the beginning regarding his thought process! She herself said that he talks good things. By seeing that such a good man he was she started having feelings for him (platonic). Also Bondita became his closest friend! They both trusted each other, supported each other and cared for each other just like best friends do! So they became closest of closest friends! Well one thing I feel that human emotions, feelings are neither wrong nor right. Feelings and intentions aren't same! Feelings are what we naturally feel! It's not in our hands! While intentions! They are always before any action done! You can control your own intentions but not feelings! So same case with both of them! So I think this differentiates pedophiles from child molesters! Most of the pedophiles feel attracted but child molesters! Their intention is to satisfy their lust! So this isn't grooming! They developed some romantic feelings (strong emotional attraction) but their love isn't romantic! I can say that the execution was quite poor! The dialogues should have been more subtle and mature which didn't show them only as lovers! They are first best friends! 

Yes, things do impact everyone's mind but this depends on the person too, how they take the impact on themselves! A person's mindset differs everyone from others! 

Also not everyone watches this show only for them. Some watched only for social issues, some for them and some for both! 

I hope I didn't disrespect you anyway, I gave my views too!❤️ 

Thanks for the viewpoint❤️

@bold: I agree. That's what I meant exactly. After the hm track specifically those dialogs were irritating nd not very good for the psyche of a 9 year old aurra. On top of that they toned up her behavior so much in between the 200th-300th mark it used to look irritating.

Regarding the second point I understand what you're trying to say. Pedophile is strictly a person who has romantic attraction towards children. Child molesters may or may not be pedophiles and the dialogs after she nd he met as an adult made things problematic. What I meant about grooming was that the romantic relationship between the two characters even as adults is not ok as bondita's feelings towards anirudh is not just her love towards him but it is how she was conditioned to behave a certain way by people around her. I mean anirudh did himself take a stand against the unintentional grooming of bondita as a child so it's not that anirudh himself groomed when she was a kid, i would associate the grooming more with child marriage and specially with kaka. And this problem would not have existed if anirudh took her responsibility like an authority figure or family member(not blaming him for the marriage as that was the only thing he could do at the point) so the love bondita had for anirudh was something which can be completely linked to her child marriage and how she was conditioned to behave by the society (not anirudh) and as anirudh reciprocated the love it makes it weird as in itself it's weird that you fall for someone you knew since she was like 8 or something(i mean it's psychologically difficult to accept someone as a woman if you knew them since they literally had their baby teeth on) nd you were an adult but also the younger partner is in a vulnerable position right now. That's what I think of it. And as you said the execution Nd the dialogs being the main problem should've been taken care by the writers as the bond was extremely sensitive. I would say it would've been less problematic if the execution of the romantic relationship was taken care of and made step by step

Originally posted by: Nothingatall

Thanks for the viewpoint❤️

@bold: I agree. That's what I meant exactly. After the hm track specifically those dialogs were irritating nd not very good for the psyche of a 9 year old aurra. On top of that they toned up her behavior so much in between the 200th-300th mark it used to look irritating.

Regarding the second point I understand what you're trying to say. Pedophile is strictly a person who has romantic attraction towards children. Child molesters may or may not be pedophiles and the dialogs after she nd he met as an adult made things problematic. What I meant about grooming was that the romantic relationship between the two characters even as adults is not ok as bondita's feelings towards anirudh is not just her love towards him but it is how she was conditioned to behave a certain way by people around her. I mean anirudh did himself take a stand against the unintentional grooming of bondita as a child so it's not that anirudh himself groomed when she was a kid, i would associate the grooming more with child marriage and specially with kaka. And this problem would not have existed if anirudh took her responsibility like an authority figure or family member(not blaming him for the marriage as that was the only thing he could do at the point) so the love bondita had for anirudh was something which can be completely linked to her child marriage and how she was conditioned to behave by the society (not anirudh) and as anirudh reciprocated the love it makes it weird as in itself it's weird that you fall for someone you knew since she was like 8 or something(i mean it's psychologically difficult to accept someone as a woman if you knew them since they literally had their baby teeth on) nd you were an adult but also the younger partner is in a vulnerable position right now. That's what I think of it. And as you said the execution Nd the dialogs being the main problem should've been taken care by the writers as the bond was extremely sensitive. I would say it would've been less problematic if the execution of the romantic relationship was taken care of and made step by step

Yes the execution could have been a bit slow to make it more sense to the audience 😆 I actually meant to say that having feelings aren't wrong! Bondita's love isn't conditioned though. If there was other man instead of Anirudh who didn't allow her to have education, treated her badly then I don't think Bondita would have fallen for him just because society said. Child marriage is not the reason. Nobody can force you to have feelings for someone, even if they get successful in this after sometime the feelings will get vanished. Regarding pedophiles, yes! They are sexually attracted! But I am not appreciating it, rather I want to say that they have a certain mental disorder which makes them attracted! Nobody can help it and I don't think Anirudh is shown like that! Pedophiles will be only drawn to children for children don't have much body hair, if the child grows up they won't be anymore sexually attracted to them. Well there's a difference between sexual and romantic attraction. Sexual attraction refers to be attracted to their body, voice but romantic attraction is mostly emotional when you connect with them fully! Grooming is to be too sweet with a child that they believe you and then use them! Trilochan is that! But I don't think Bondita loved Anirudh because of grooming, Anirudh wasn't at all very sweet to her 😆 He scolded her, shouted at her, so he behaved genuinely! Those who do grooming only behave very sweetly, they are fake. The love Anirudh had for her is not only romantic feeling, it's made up of adoration, trust and emotional connection! The romantic feeling I think developed in the Sanyasini track 🤔 But I do agree the pacing should have been a bit slower! I think makers wanted to first complete their having feelings for each other and then they comfortably show social issues as after their marriage you won't see much romantic conversation. Makers have to improve in their execution😆Well makers also increased her age to 10, then 11 after lockdown, so she was an adolescent then....

As someone who has watched all 408 episodes of the show, I can say with guarantee that there are two factors that make Anidita's love story to not be problematic. 

1. The marriage annulment: Just the simple fact that Ani put in efforts to annul their child marriage was a big step in eliminating a lot of societal grooming. After the annulment, Bon was in fact told that Ani had no relationship with her and that she couldn't even speak to him. There was no compulsion by anyone to love him or be attracted to him or to think about him anymore. So there was no conditioning either.

2. Ani and Bon were not in contact for 8 whole years, after knowing each other for only 1.5 years: This distance and lack of contact gave Anirudh and Bondita the chance to grow out of the attachment they had for each other before the leap. Bon had options now, to meet new people and have new experiences. There was absolutely no compulsion from anyone around her to return to Ani. So again, there was no grooming or conditioning. 

Now, where Ani's confession in front of VJ is concerned, there is no mention of the word love anywhere. Hence all Anirudh is referring to is the emotional attachment that he had for Bon which he felt that he could never give anyone else, including his wife. This has nothing to do with any romantic love, just an emotional commitment. 

Anirudh and Bondita did not fall in love because of their child marriage, they fell in love DESPITE it, and that is what makes the show a lot less problematic as compared to Pehredaar Piya ki.

Originally posted by: Ashley_m

As someone who has watched all 408 episodes of the show, I can say with guarantee that there are two factors that make Anidita's love story to not be problematic. 

1. The marriage annulment: Just the simple fact that Ani put in efforts to annul their child marriage was a big step in eliminating a lot of societal grooming. After the annulment, Bon was in fact told that Ani had no relationship with her and that she couldn't even speak to him. There was no compulsion by anyone to love him or be attracted to him or to think about him anymore. So there was no conditioning either.

2. Ani and Bon were not in contact for 8 whole years, after knowing each other for only 1.5 years: This distance and lack of contact gave Anirudh and Bondita the chance to grow out of the attachment they had for each other before the leap. Bon had options now, to meet new people and have new experiences. There was absolutely no compulsion from anyone around her to return to Ani. So again, there was no grooming or conditioning. 

Now, where Ani's confession in front of VJ is concerned, there is no mention of the word love anywhere. Hence all Anirudh is referring to is the emotional attachment that he had for Bon which he felt that he could never give anyone else, including his wife. This has nothing to do with any romantic love, just an emotional commitment. 

Anirudh and Bondita did not fall in love because of their child marriage, they fell in love DESPITE it, and that is what makes the show a lot less problematic as compared to Pehredaar Piya ki.

You explained better than me Ash! 👏

Originally posted by: Ashley_m

As someone who has watched all 408 episodes of the show, I can say with guarantee that there are two factors that make Anidita's love story to not be problematic. 

1. The marriage annulment: Just the simple fact that Ani put in efforts to annul their child marriage was a big step in eliminating a lot of societal grooming. After the annulment, Bon was in fact told that Ani had no relationship with her and that she couldn't even speak to him. There was no compulsion by anyone to love him or be attracted to him or to think about him anymore. So there was no conditioning either.

2. Ani and Bon were not in contact for 8 whole years, after knowing each other for only 1.5 years: This distance and lack of contact gave Anirudh and Bondita the chance to grow out of the attachment they had for each other before the leap. Bon had options now, to meet new people and have new experiences. There was absolutely no compulsion from anyone around her to return to Ani. So again, there was no grooming or conditioning. 

Now, where Ani's confession in front of VJ is concerned, there is no mention of the word love anywhere. Hence all Anirudh is referring to is the emotional attachment that he had for Bon which he felt that he could never give anyone else, including his wife. This has nothing to do with any romantic love, just an emotional commitment. 

Anirudh and Bondita did not fall in love because of their child marriage, they fell in love DESPITE it, and that is what makes the show a lot less problematic as compared to Pehredaar Piya ki.

I respect opinions and understand that they can be different but would just like to put out my regarding 

 I would say it's not completely black or white but a rather grey area for me. If anirudh nd bondita had a romantic relationship started without marriage annulment, it would've been much more problematic. But as for me I can't say that bondita's feelings never were a reason of some influence. After bondita grew up she had not even met anirudh, talked to him once properly before she developed feelings for him, and then started seeing him as a potential mate. It's true that marriage nullification gave her a lot of scope for life and she was away from him, and with the way she longed to meet him those 8 years was apparently a platonic attachment and devotion towards a friend and a mentor. But then returning to him she realized being in love with him within literally a week. It can mean that she did feel that subconsciously but she did not realize up till now as she had not even met him and considering the type of bond they shared in the past, falling without sharing time is weird. And as I said earlier too, if anirudh had not taken the responsibility of the kid as a husband but rather anything else these feelings would never have existed. Regarding the vaijanti ani conversation, my major issue with that was that anirudh refused to accept a woman's(vaijantis) marriage proposal saying that uske dil m wo ladki h who was 12 when he last saw her. Wouldn't have a bit of problem with the scene if it didn't came as a rejection to a marriage proposal.

Regarding pehredar piya ki then this show is not even close to that when it comes to being problematic nd that's for sure. Pehredar piya ki was marketed as a love story between a child and a woman but barrister babu as a story of two revolutionary individuals with a common dream where the adult takes an upper hand in a child's life and mentors her to give her wings. So it's nowhere even comparable except for obviously the child adult marriage thing.

Originally posted by: Ashley_m

As someone who has watched all 408 episodes of the show, I can say with guarantee that there are two factors that make Anidita's love story to not be problematic. 

1. The marriage annulment: Just the simple fact that Ani put in efforts to annul their child marriage was a big step in eliminating a lot of societal grooming. After the annulment, Bon was in fact told that Ani had no relationship with her and that she couldn't even speak to him. There was no compulsion by anyone to love him or be attracted to him or to think about him anymore. So there was no conditioning either.

2. Ani and Bon were not in contact for 8 whole years, after knowing each other for only 1.5 years: This distance and lack of contact gave Anirudh and Bondita the chance to grow out of the attachment they had for each other before the leap. Bon had options now, to meet new people and have new experiences. There was absolutely no compulsion from anyone around her to return to Ani. So again, there was no grooming or conditioning. 

Now, where Ani's confession in front of VJ is concerned, there is no mention of the word love anywhere. Hence all Anirudh is referring to is the emotional attachment that he had for Bon which he felt that he could never give anyone else, including his wife. This has nothing to do with any romantic love, just an emotional commitment. 

Anirudh and Bondita did not fall in love because of their child marriage, they fell in love DESPITE it, and that is what makes the show a lot less problematic as compared to Pehredaar Piya ki.

They both had ample opportunities in the 8 yrs that they were apart to fall for somebody else and marry as mature adults.

But their bond is beyond the understanding of the world. Their emotional connect is unparalleled. Despite the age difference, Bondita, in her own innocent way, understood him like even his own family couldn't. She unwittingly was his weapon through which he realizes his vision for women empowerment and for other social reforms needed in the country.

Anirudh clearly mentions to Vyjayanti that he and Bondita are same and hence their visions were same.

And that is what you seek in a marriage too- for your partner to have a similar vision as yours and who understands or atleast tries to understand and support you?

Why would the need even arise for Anirudh or Bondita to look for another man/woman for marriage or companionship when they already have such an emotionally connected partner, who knows and understands you inside out?

Love knows no age difference, caste, creed. All that matters is compatibility and must contain the mutual consent of the partners who are mature enough to know what a marriage is.

Originally posted by: Nothingatall

I respect opinions and understand that they can be different but would just like to put out my regarding 

 I would say it's not completely black or white but a rather grey area for me. If anirudh nd bondita had a romantic relationship started without marriage annulment, it would've been much more problematic. But as for me I can't say that bondita's feelings never were a reason of some influence. After bondita grew up she had not even met anirudh, talked to him once properly before she developed feelings for him, and then started seeing him as a potential mate. It's true that marriage nullification gave her a lot of scope for life and she was away from him, and with the way she longed to meet him those 8 years was apparently a platonic attachment and devotion towards a friend and a mentor. But then returning to him she realized being in love with him within literally a week. It can mean that she did feel that subconsciously but she did not realize up till now as she had not even met him and considering the type of bond they shared in the past, falling without sharing time is weird. And as I said earlier too, if anirudh had not taken the responsibility of the kid as a husband but rather anything else these feelings would never have existed. Regarding the vaijanti ani conversation, my major issue with that was that anirudh refused to accept a woman's(vaijantis) marriage proposal saying that uske dil m wo ladki h who was 12 when he last saw her. Wouldn't have a bit of problem with the scene if it didn't came as a rejection to a marriage proposal.

Regarding pehredar piya ki then this show is not even close to that when it comes to being problematic nd that's for sure. Pehredar piya ki was marketed as a love story between a child and a woman but barrister babu as a story of two revolutionary individuals with a common dream where the adult takes an upper hand in a child's life and mentors her to give her wings. So it's nowhere even comparable except for obviously the child adult marriage thing.

Again, it wasn't because of the marriage, but despite it. I always maintained even while watching that love happens on multiple levels, the emotional attachment and affection however is the most important part of it... And that developed between the two before the leap. The romantic aspect was just the last piece of the puzzle, which fell into place when they had those tiny interactions after the leap. But Bondita wanting to meet Ani after leap had nothing to do with romance as we both agree. Also, Ani was always going to be Bon's first crush unless she was specifically conditioned otherwise (being repeatedly told that he is her brother/father figure), her crush was not because of the marriage, but because of his actions. The conditioning was when this crush was encouraged by the society because of the marriage, which is what Ani was fighting against and what he meant to avoid by annullment and by the no contact. 

Ani saying that only Bon will be in his heart does not make him a pedophile or creepy. He did refer to the 12 year old who had become the person his life revolved around. That took a severe emotional commitment, one that he did not wish to share with anyone else. And that emotional commitment would definitely be expected in a marriage. Also, one important thing that is to be noted is that at that time Ani had no hopes for his feelings being reciprocated. And he did not even wish to compel her in any way. Ani had been intellectually attracted to Bon even before he he met her, but that was due to her thoughts. 

I cannot explain the whole sequence of events right now because it would take forever, but I would leave it at because of the afore mentioned 'grey area' the makers actually left some extremely ambiguous scenes which were open to interpretation, and can be seen on an extremely grey spectrum. But given the time period and all the attempts at preventing what went wrong, I do not believe there is anything problematic in the show.

Originally posted by: Ashley_m

Again, it wasn't because of the marriage, but despite it. I always maintained even while watching that love happens on multiple levels, the emotional attachment and affection however is the most important part of it... And that developed between the two before the leap. The romantic aspect was just the last piece of the puzzle, which fell into place when they had those tiny interactions after the leap. But Bondita wanting to meet Ani after leap had nothing to do with romance as we both agree. Also, Ani was always going to be Bon's first crush unless she was specifically conditioned otherwise (being repeatedly told that he is her brother/father figure), her crush was not because of the marriage, but because of his actions. The conditioning was when this crush was encouraged by the society because of the marriage, which is what Ani was fighting against and what he meant to avoid by annullment and by the no contact. 

Ani saying that only Bon will be in his heart does not make him a pedophile or creepy. He did refer to the 12 year old who had become the person his life revolved around. That took a severe emotional commitment, one that he did not wish to share with anyone else. And that emotional commitment would definitely be expected in a marriage. Also, one important thing that is to be noted is that at that time Ani had no hopes for his feelings being reciprocated. And he did not even wish to compel her in any way. Ani had been intellectually attracted to Bon even before he he met her, but that was due to her thoughts. 

I cannot explain the whole sequence of events right now because it would take forever, but I would leave it at because of the afore mentioned 'grey area' the makers actually left some extremely ambiguous scenes which were open to interpretation, and can be seen on an extremely grey spectrum. But given the time period and all the attempts at preventing what went wrong, I do not believe there is anything problematic in the show.

Totally agree with you Ash. You explained everything beautifully. 

Marriage is not just a bonding based on romantic feelings or physical attraction. Emotional attachment is equally important. Personally I don't believe that physical attraction will last long without emotional attachment. Naturally Vaijayanthi will expect both from her husband which Ani will not be able to give her. Ani had already established that emotional attachment with Bon which he will not be able to do with anyone else. This will be an injustice to VJ and Ani knows it too. Being a gentleman he refused the marriage proposal because he knows that he will not be a good husband to VJ and she will not be happy with him.