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“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Can’t you not see, I’m placing my clothes back in the cupboard. I’ve changed my mind, I’m not going to Delhi,” she quipped.
“But why?” he retorted.
“My husband is here in Mumbai, it doesn’t look good to our families that we’ll be staying in different cities even though we are married. People will talk, you know?” she responded.
“Aditi, stop this nonsense. I’ve told you plenty of times that I don’t love you, I love Deepika. Why wouldn’t you understand something this simple?” Vikrant asked.
“I know, Vikrant. I’ve heard it numerous times in the past ten years. But I’m here for the treatment as well, which you suggested before you took the job here, without informing me,” she said.
“It’s useless to keep explaining the same thing over and over again to you,” he said and left.
Aditi was left pondering in the living area about her marriage. What was her fault in this? Was it because she gave in to her family’s demands and accepted the proposal that the Saxena’s sent two weeks before he was set to marry Deepika? Or was it because she couldn’t conceive? She wanted nothing more than to make her ten years of marriage work and live a peaceful life with her husband, wanted nothing more than a life with love and kids but could she with Vikrant as her husband? That man was egoistic, selfish and controlling, she knew that months after becoming his wife when she started developing feelings for him.
She’s tried and done everything in the past ten years, live upto his standards, pursue pathology instead of gynaecology, listen to all his tantrums, cook and clean, be his wife in all aspects and all she wanted was his love. “Was she ever destined for love?” she thought. Growing up she craved the love her dad had for her mom, she wanted everything in a man that he was to her [mom], she wanted dinner or lunch dates, late night drives, random gifts or surprises, support and reassurance but all she got was a man who just tolerated her presence because she was his legally wedded wife. Wife. She scoffed at the thought.
Weeks went by with Vikrant avoiding Aditi, even though they now work at the same hospital. She would wait for him to come home after a long shift or a spontaneous surgery at work, but he never showed up. She knew where he was but never questioned him. She loved the man, loved him too much to question him in front of his juniors and coworkers, she didn’t want to tarnish his reputation.
She realized that it was futile to make any attempts to try and salvage the bits of her marriage, especially when it was just her that was invested in the partnership. No matter what she did, he just wouldn’t acknowledge; from taking breakfast or lunch to work, message him if she was working late , or even expected him to take some days off work when she got ill.
She was tired of living alone. She wanted someone to talk to, one who could understand her silence; listen to her talking nonstop, ask her about her day and someone whose shoulder she could cry on. In ten years of marriage, initially, her husband was avoiding her, then he started showing his face at least once a day and then she started seeing less and less as time went by. It was time she stopped yearning for his love and care. She was a strong independent woman who is capable enough to take care of herself and destroy herself for a man who’s not worth it.
Aditi was always jealous of Deepika, despite now being in their lives physically, she was always present. She was being compared to her - Deepika won’t do this, Deepika won’t do that. It was just ‘Deepika, Deepika,Deepika!’ She was insecure, she wanted to assert her rights on Vikrant but what rights does she have on him? A signature on paper doesn’t make you a wife. Legally, yes it does but when her husband doesn’t treat her as a wife, should she be considered as one?
It was time that she chose herself, stop running behind a man who doesn’t care. She consulted a lawyer to have divorce papers ready, after all she was sure this marriage won’t work anymore, it never did. So it was about time to cut the strings that tied them together. She knew he would not come home when she was there, so she went to work early to get a hold of him. She couldn’t delay it any longer.
He came into the cabin and was taken aback when he saw her there. He wasn’t expecting her to be there. After a deafening minute of silence, Aditi broke it when she told him the reason for her visit. She had already signed the papers and just wanted his signatures to go submit them to her lawyer, who would proceed with the case. He was stunned when he read the reason for the separation - irreconcilable differences. And so it was rightly stated, their differences could now be solved, his ego was too big and she was too naïve.
After collecting the signed papers, she left his office without looking back at him. It was about how she moved on, from the bondage of mental abuse. At this point, she didn’t care about society, her family. All she cared about was she chose herself and it was damn time, she did! She informed his parents and hers and they tried talking her out of it but she couldn’t give in, no matter that she was blamed for their separation. She couldn’t care less how she failed to keep her husband happy, make her marriage work or how much of a disappointment she was to the families. All the blame was hers, after all that was how society is - no matter how wrong a man is, how much wrong he did, his wife was always at fault.
Months went by, Aditi never left FMS Hospital. She knew better than to mix both her professional and personal lives together, if she did, the results would be disastrous and she would end up being much more hurt than she already was. She has come to terms that Vikrant would always love Deepika. All she ever was - the second, unwanted option. He was compelled to marry her.
She’s never felt more free than this before, living the life she imagined before getting married - a successful pathologist, following her dreams, living her life to the fullest. She learnt that marriage is not a bondage but a union of individuals who support and encourage each other; not a show of superiority and inferiority. A marriage is letting each other grow, individually and together. It’s a walk that two people share, holding hands through the bumpy road, laughing, crying, sharing successes and failures.
Who said happily ever afters are only when you’re married or in love with someone? Sometimes it’s when you’re in love with yourself and who you are! Aditi chose herself and she’s never been happier.
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