KarMi/Moran Drabbles: Emotions Unsaid

REJECTION:

Jaanta hoon maine Monami ko bahut hurt kiya hai. Aaj tak use hurt karne ke alaawa kiya hi kya hai maine? Pehle, use goli maar di thi, aur ab uska dil todh diya. Rude tha main. Kya zaroorat thi mujhe itna harsh hone ki?

Sorry se uska toota hua dil waapas judh toh nahi jayega, par itna toh wo deserve karti hai. Use yeh jaanna hoga ki kyun main kabhi usse pyaar nahi kar sakta. Kyun meri zinadagi mein pyaar ki koi jagah nahi hai. Us mein koi kami nahi hai, bas meri zindagi mein uski shayad kabhi koi jagah nahi hogi.

Ek taraf kal competition mein jab aankh band kari, toh sirf wo hi wo dikh rahi thi. Sirf wo hi dikh raha tha jo parso raat hua tha. Par kyun? Doosri taraf, jaise hi wo mujhe dekhti hai, waise chhupne ka mann karta hai. Nahi dekh sakta main uski aankhon mein itna dard. Kitna bhi chhupa le wo smile ke peechhe, kitna bhi pretend kar le wo theek hai, par jo dard maine use diya hai, wo dikh raha hai mujhe.

Kyun sun nahi rahi hai wo meri baat? Kyun jab bhi baat karna chahoon, bhaag jaati hai? Ek baar, bas apni baat kehne ka mauka chahiye mujhe. Ek baar bas yeh explain karna hai mujhe ki meri duniya mein pyaar ki jagah kyun nahi hai. Kyun kisi ko pyaar karna possible nahi hai mere liye. Bas ek baar.

Wo samjhegi. Itna toh jaanta hoon main use. Jis ladki ne mujhe use goli maarne ke baad maaf kar diya, mere gunah ko galti bhi nahi samjhi, wo samjhegi mujhe. Use samajhna hoga...

Wo samjhegi, na?

IZHAAR-E-MOHABBAT

Pyaar. Monami ne kaha ki wo mujhse pyaar karti hai. She loves me. Aisa kaise ho sakta hai? Mujhse? Wo mujhse kaise pyaar kar sakti hai? How can she love me? Kyun? Kab? Kahan? Kaise?

Jab usne mujhse apne pyaar ka izhaar kiya toh mujhe laga ki main koi sapna dekh raha hoon. Shayad neend mein hi hoon. Par wo sach mein thi.

Galat hai wo. Nahi karta main usse pyaar. Jis cheez ke baare mein kabhi do baar toh kya, ek baar bhi nahi socha, wo kaise ho sakta hai? Wo sirf meri cadet hai. Best cadet hai meri. Bas.

Phir kyun uski aankhon mein dekhna nahi chahta tha main? Uski aankhon mein jo dard main jaanta hoon hota, uske baare mein sirf sochkar hi kyun dard ho raha hai mujhe? Kyun yeh nahi keh paaya ki main usse pyaar nahi karta? Nahi karta main pyaar, toh kyun nahi kaha? Nahi karta kuch feel, toh kyun nahi kaha? Itna sa hi toh maanga tha usne. Kyun nahi kaha? Kyun sirf use chale jaane ko kaha?

Kyun jab wo royi, toh mann kara ki uske har ek aanson ko ponch do? Kyun jab wo gayi, toh mann kara ki use rok loon? Kyun?

Kyun uss pal mein maano meri duniya badal gayi? Kyun uss pal mein Monami badal gayi?