Sanjana was sitting on the couch, covered in a blanket in their..... hers and Siddhart's apartment. She was staring blankly at the night sky, the coffee in her hands long forgotten.
It had already been a week since the mission was over, but it wasn't out if Sanjana's mind yet. Every time she tried to forget, her mind would bring back all of it- every detail, crystal clear.
Subconsciously, her thumb grazed over the small, healing wound on her neck as her fingers wrapped tighter around the coffee mug.
She couldn't see anything, she couldn't breathe. There was dust all around, it was hurting her eyes.
"Sanju..."
She didn't even notice when Siddhart came and sat next to her, his own coffee in his hands. He looked at her, concerned.
"Haan..." she spoke, hastily removing her hand from her neck.
"Mai tumhe kabse bula raha hu....is everything okay?"
She nodded almost immediately. Siddhart looked at her, unsatisfied with her answer.
"Tum jabse mission se aayi ho...kich ajeeb sa behave kar rahi ho...agar kuch problem hai..to tum mujhe bata sakti ho" he looked at her hopefully. She could hardly look at him in the eye.
"Siddharth sab theek ha..tum kya bol rahe the?" She gave him a small smile.
"Okay...if you say so..anyways...Coffee kaisi hai?" He asked lightening up. A smile automatically came to her face.
"Ekdam mast."
Siddhart gave her a huge smile. She couldn't help returning it, somehow her ball of sunshine always managed to make her smile, no matter what the situation. The smile, it vanished almost as soon as it came.
"Tumhe pata hai! Aaj mai jab supermarket gaya tab mujhe ek aunty dikhi...pata hai vo ekdam...Sanju?" He trailed off seeing her staring blankly in the half filled cup, she did not even noticed when he stopped speaking.
He slowly placed a hand on hers.
"Sanju...I don't think sab theek hai.." He asked as softly as he could manage. She looked at him, almost helplessly for a second, but then immediately reverting back to her usual self.
"Siddhart hum bol rahe hai na..sab theek hai." She said a little louder than intended, immediately regretting.
"Its alright....agar tumhe abhi nahi batana..." he said keeping aside his cup of coffee.
"Sorry..." she whispered.
"Koi nahi. Tumhaara jab man kare, tab batana. Mai sunne ko humesha ready hu." He gave her a small reassuring smile. "Anyways, give me a second."
He got up and walked to the kitchen, returning in a few seconds.
Sanjana looked at the kitchen's doorway, waiting for him. Even if she did not want to talk yet, it felt safe being next to him.
He returned with an ice pack and sat next to her.
"May I?" He asked taking her hand. His question was only met by silence, which he took for a yes.
"Tum boxing kar rahi thi kya? Tumne shayad notice nahi kiya, look..." he said pointing to a few purple spots near her knuckles. She looked at him, unsure whether to speak or not. The truth was, she wasn't boxing. It was all from the mission. Her mind pulled her back to that cursed mission.
She was panting now. She had been hitting the broken pieces of the building for nearly an hour now. She could hardly move, trapped. The connection was lost, she didn't know how long was she going here. And the others? Were they okay? Where were they? She wanted to go back home...go back to him.
"Mission pe kya hua tha Sanju?"
Silence.
He focused back on his work, gently dabbing the cold plastic over the bruises.
"I hope lag nahi raha..." he whispered. She couldn't reply. He was so gentle, so soft with her. She was so used to being in rough conditions, that his softness broke something inside of her.
"Hum dar gaye the."
Sid looked up for a moment, smiling a little to himself.
"Hmm.." he replied, engrossing back into his work.
"Mission khatam ho gaya tha. Team bahar nikal rahi thi. Karan Sirji comms pe kuch to bol rahe the. Tab building ke ek chhor pe dhamaka hua...aur.." she stopped, gulping. Sid gripped her hand a little tighter.
"Poori 13 maale ko building gir gayi, team andar phas gayi thi. Ek kaanch ka tukda idhar se aadha inch door se nikla. Agar ek inch aur..." her voice broke a little as she pointed to the small cut on her neck. Sid bit his lip, the truth was, he knew all of this. He knew something was wrong when Karan and Faizi refused to give him updates on the mission. He had almost yelled at the entire intelligence team until they told him everything. He had never been that scared in his life. But right now, she needed him.
"Hum phas gaye the, connection toot gaya tha. Hume laga...hume laga hum ghar vaapas nahi aa paayenge...hum..." she stopped, not being able to speak anymore. Siddhart kept the ice pack aside and moved closer to her, wrapping her arms around her.
"Its alright. You are home now, mere paas." He said softly, as she teared up in his arms. He caressed her head as the sobs eventually turned to occasional sniffles.
"Better?" He asked looking her.
"Hmm." She said, burying her face into his neck fondly. He pulled her closer, laying back on the couch's armrest.
"Bola tha. Kabhi kabhi strong na hona is okay. Aur maine kaha tha na...jabtak hum ek team hai, hume koi nahi hara sakta. Right?" He said playing with her hair.
"Right." She smiled. "Siddhart, humesha yahi rehna."
"Mai kabhi kahi nahi jaaunga." He kisses her forehead lightly.
"Good night, Siddhart." She said, pulling the blanket over them.
"Good night." He said, holding her hand and closing his eyes, the warmth of her breathing on his neck relaxing him. She was safe, they were safe. This was home. And he couldn't have asked for anything more.
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