Meet Hooda: Gendered expectations

Meet changed her look to be allowed to be her authentic self and earn her livelihood, and now lives like that 24x7, so what? The person inside never changed, and it is refreshing to see that this is also being deemed acceptable to showcase now, how there is a girl who is both emotional and practical, taking life headlong and choosing her familial responsibilities! 

Meet need not be labelled a tomboy because of the way she is, because then forget outside appearance, any 21st century normal girl can be pushed into that label only basis their thoughts or courage to challenge the norms, which is unfair to all tbh. This show is focussed on the message of how it is more important to acknowledge girls as humans, rather than by gendered expectations. 

The primary thing here to prove that is that the person being presented as fitting the convention of how a girl 'looks' ~ Manushi literally does not fit the gendered expectation of a bahu either ~ she does no chores at all, does not help out financially or otherwise, wishes to only think about her own future without any regard/emotions/concern for others and beyond appearances, is literally only a mirage. 

That's exactly the role of Meet Ahlawat is needed here. He will be the catalyst to help Meet Hooda understand that is is fine to be vulnerable and cater to her own emotions too, instead of trying to be the son of the family. This was proved when he showed concern for her fasting and playing and trying to be everything all at once. She will make him think differently and so will he. That will be the basis of her journey on the show, where she becomes more comfortable in her skin. 

If the show started off with her being confident and looking, acting like the 'gendered expectation', then there would be no conflict/issue to address or resolve, because everyone here including the ML is shown passing a judgement not just on profession but moreso on her looks. The Hoodas/Alhawats are shown to be VERY rigid and traditional which builds the story. Also, there are a lot of girls who have grown up with this pressure of having to be the son of the family, because given the traditional Indian society where to date there is a preference for sons, girls never get their freedom to pursue their own aspirations outside of the house without certain concessions. This show reflects their struggle for those and with how they live with what is a double edged sword, that they are not even allowed to escape. 

To be a woman, you do not have to have long hair or dress in salwars, sarees or short dresses, suppress your thoughts or try to become some watered down version of Maa Durga or show constant interest in makeup, boys and looks ~ all of those constitute orthodox gendered expectations. You can be allowed to dress a certain way and yet get the respect that should be accorded as a human being. If all FLs are shown to be the same, what is the point of watching different shows? 

Yes, Meet H might be shown to choose a certain way of living, but we need to learn to normalise that too, we have so long been used to putting things like appearance into buckets of boy versus girl, and this show challenges that norm/REET too :)

Just my personal view, not based on anything else, I do acknowledge and accept any dissenting opinions, but let us all be open to have a discourse on this too. 

P.S Sorry for coming out so strong incase anyone is offended, but I belong and work for the rights of LGBTQ+ people too, and so truly believe we need to use media to help change the society in order make everyone feel inclusive and accepted in their authentic selves with today's generation 

Originally posted by: mango.kulfi

Meet changed her look to be allowed to be her authentic self and earn her livelihood, and now lives like that 24x7, so what? The person inside never changed, and it is refreshing to see that this is also being deemed acceptable to showcase now, how there is a girl who is both emotional and practical, taking life headlong and choosing her familial responsibilities! 

Meet need not be labelled a tomboy because of the way she is, because then forget outside appearance, any 21st century normal girl can be pushed into that label only basis their thoughts or courage to challenge the norms, which is unfair to all tbh. This show is focussed on the message of how it is more important to acknowledge girls as humans, rather than by gendered expectations. 

The primary thing here to prove that is that the person being presented as fitting the convention of how a girl 'looks' ~ Manushi literally does not fit the gendered expectation of a bahu either ~ she does no chores at all, does not help out financially or otherwise, wishes to only think about her own future without any regard/emotions/concern for others and beyond appearances, is literally only a mirage. 

That's exactly the role of Meet Ahlawat is needed here. He will be the catalyst to help Meet Hooda understand that is is fine to be vulnerable and cater to her own emotions too, instead of trying to be the son of the family. This was proved when he showed concern for her fasting and playing and trying to be everything all at once. She will make him think differently and so will he. That will be the basis of her journey on the show, where she becomes more comfortable in her skin. 

If the show started off with her being confident and looking, acting like the 'gendered expectation', then there would be no conflict/issue to address or resolve, because everyone here including the ML is shown passing a judgement not just on profession but moreso on her looks. The Hoodas/Alhawats are shown to be VERY rigid and traditional which builds the story. Also, there are a lot of girls who have grown up with this pressure of having to be the son of the family, because given the traditional Indian society where to date there is a preference for sons, girls never get their freedom to pursue their own aspirations outside of the house without certain concessions. This show reflects their struggle for those and with how they live with what is a double edged sword, that they are not even allowed to escape. 

To be a woman, you do not have to have long hair or dress in salwars, sarees or short dresses, suppress your thoughts or try to become some watered down version of Maa Durga or show constant interest in makeup, boys and looks ~ all of those constitute orthodox gendered expectations. You can be allowed to dress a certain way and yet get the respect that should be accorded as a human being. If all FLs are shown to be the same, what is the point of watching different shows? 

Yes, Meet H might be shown to choose a certain way of living, but we need to learn to normalise that too, we have so long been used to putting things like appearance into buckets of boy versus girl, and this show challenges that norm/REET too :)

Just my personal view, not based on anything else, I do acknowledge and accept any dissenting opinions, but let us all be open to have a discourse on this too. 

P.S Sorry for coming out so strong incase anyone is offended, but I belong and work for the rights of LGBTQ+ people too, and so truly believe we need to use media to help change the society in order make everyone feel inclusive and accepted in their authentic selves with today's generation 

Well said.  Even today many places choose boy over girl. Sad reality.  

Originally posted by: sumaishu

 Well said.  Even today many places choose boy over girl. Sad reality.  

Haanji. Even if their son is a nikamma, they would rather have that than a daughter. 

Even movies like Badri ki Dulhania showed that hypocrisy in some sense.

Originally posted by: mango.kulfi

Haanji. Even if their son is a nikamma, they would rather have that than a daughter.

This thought process will never change no matter how much we try

Even movies like Badri ki Dulhania showed that hypocrisy in some sense.

Very well said. The whole "why does she have to look like a boy to be strong" is very sexist even though it sounds progressive on the surface level. And yes, Ahlawat is that one person who'll see her emotions, who'll help her and be there for her while she is busy being there for everyone else and fix everything else. He is that person who'll always silently be there and support her, and her comfort place where she can be vulnerable. And yes, according to OG version he is that one person who makes her understand she doesn't have to be everything at once. They both are ying and yang and will fit perfectly into each other and I love how the show is slowly building up that rapport without cliche romantic scenes at the same time making the symbolism and connection strong and engaging.

Something that I said on yesterday's episode too.

https://twitter.com/xemberedcoalx/status/1437877356887101440

So true. And I feel the show is sort of showing the contrast in its two characters of the Hooda sisters - Meet and Manushi. 

While Manushi is everything according to the society's definition and gendered expectations of a girl through her superficial or artificial traits, Meet is everything that doesn't. 

But we all know how they are from within. The society shall continue to criticize Meet because she's different from their expectations and conditions without glancing within her heart of gold. That's perception and that's precisely the core concept of the show. 

Originally posted by: Tvfanatic85

This thought process will never change no matter how much we try 

It can change if everyone is willing to open their minds. That is the tough part :)

Originally posted by: Sujz

Very well said. The whole "why does she have to look like a boy to be strong" is very sexist even though it sounds progressive on the surface level. And yes, Ahlawat is that one person who'll see her emotions, who'll help her and be there for her while she is busy being there for everyone else and fix everything else. He is that person who'll always silently be there and support her, and her comfort place where she can be vulnerable. And yes, according to OG version he is that one person who makes her understand she doesn't have to be everything at once. They both are ying and yang and will fit perfectly into each other and I love how the show is slowly building up that rapport without cliche romantic scenes at the same time making the symbolism and connection strong and engaging.

Beautifully expressed 👏

Originally posted by: Ps143

So true. And I feel the show is sort of showing the contrast in its two characters of the Hooda sisters - Meet and Manushi. 

While Manushi is everything according to the society's definition and gendered expectations of a girl through her superficial or artificial traits, Meet is everything that doesn't. 

But we all know how they are from within. The society shall continue to criticize Meet because she's different from their expectations and conditions without glancing within her heart of gold. That's perception and that's precisely the core concept of the show. 

The fact is none of them fit the standards in all ways, and that is fine. Judgement is not, and will change over time, thanks to Meet, jo badlegi har reet 😊

Originally posted by: mango.kulfi

Meet changed her look to be allowed to be her authentic self and earn her livelihood, and now lives like that 24x7, so what? The person inside never changed, and it is refreshing to see that this is also being deemed acceptable to showcase now, how there is a girl who is both emotional and practical, taking life headlong and choosing her familial responsibilities! 

Meet need not be labelled a tomboy because of the way she is, because then forget outside appearance, any 21st century normal girl can be pushed into that label only basis their thoughts or courage to challenge the norms, which is unfair to all tbh. This show is focussed on the message of how it is more important to acknowledge girls as humans, rather than by gendered expectations. 

The primary thing here to prove that is that the person being presented as fitting the convention of how a girl 'looks' ~ Manushi literally does not fit the gendered expectation of a bahu either ~ she does no chores at all, does not help out financially or otherwise, wishes to only think about her own future without any regard/emotions/concern for others and beyond appearances, is literally only a mirage. 

That's exactly the role of Meet Ahlawat is needed here. He will be the catalyst to help Meet Hooda understand that is is fine to be vulnerable and cater to her own emotions too, instead of trying to be the son of the family. This was proved when he showed concern for her fasting and playing and trying to be everything all at once. She will make him think differently and so will he. That will be the basis of her journey on the show, where she becomes more comfortable in her skin. 

If the show started off with her being confident and looking, acting like the 'gendered expectation', then there would be no conflict/issue to address or resolve, because everyone here including the ML is shown passing a judgement not just on profession but moreso on her looks. The Hoodas/Alhawats are shown to be VERY rigid and traditional which builds the story. Also, there are a lot of girls who have grown up with this pressure of having to be the son of the family, because given the traditional Indian society where to date there is a preference for sons, girls never get their freedom to pursue their own aspirations outside of the house without certain concessions. This show reflects their struggle for those and with how they live with what is a double edged sword, that they are not even allowed to escape. 

To be a woman, you do not have to have long hair or dress in salwars, sarees or short dresses, suppress your thoughts or try to become some watered down version of Maa Durga or show constant interest in makeup, boys and looks ~ all of those constitute orthodox gendered expectations. You can be allowed to dress a certain way and yet get the respect that should be accorded as a human being. If all FLs are shown to be the same, what is the point of watching different shows? 

Yes, Meet H might be shown to choose a certain way of living, but we need to learn to normalise that too, we have so long been used to putting things like appearance into buckets of boy versus girl, and this show challenges that norm/REET too :)

Just my personal view, not based on anything else, I do acknowledge and accept any dissenting opinions, but let us all be open to have a discourse on this too. 

P.S Sorry for coming out so strong incase anyone is offended, but I belong and work for the rights of LGBTQ+ people too, and so truly believe we need to use media to help change the society in order make everyone feel inclusive and accepted in their authentic selves with today's generation 

beautifully penned Anvesha… where are you?