Fateh watched her chew on the end of her pencil, furiously flipping through her reference texts. Her nervousness was obvious. The furious shaking of her leg, the buzzing air around her barely able to contain itself, her dupatta flailing from the rhythmic moving of her body, they all betrayed her. It was enough to make him nauseous as if he could share her anxiety. Fateh looked up briefly, catching the clock and the late hour.
He knew that tomorrow was a big day for her. Tejo was holding a special lecture for Delhi professors, an introduction to her focus area of research. Her PhD had been a long time coming and when she'd shared the news with his father, the elder Virk was astounded that Tejo had never mentioned it before. He'd revelled in the news, prouder at her than perhaps any of his own children.
"Tejo ji, it's late," Fateh spoke, flinching from the sound of his dry voice. His voice broke through her concentration and her anxiety ceased fire. Her shaking stopped and Tejo peered over her texts to look at him.
"I'm sorry, is the light disturbing you? I'll go out into the hall," she spoke, her soft voice holding him in place. She shuffled up from her seat before Fateh could protest, but he sat up abruptly on the bed.
"No that's not what I meant. You should get some sleep. Tomorrow is an important day," he reassured her.
Tejo laughed despite herself and the sound caught Fateh off guard. How many weeks had it been since he'd heard her laugh?
"That's why I can't sleep. I don't - I don't want to disappoint Papa Ji," she sighed, pulling her texts close to her chest.
Fateh closed his eyes, a small frustration mounting inside of him. Even though this moment was hers, hers alone, a testament to her hard work and ambition, she was still thinking about someone else.
"This isn't about him. It's about you. Come to bed and rest, or you'll be nervous on stage tomorrow," he said a little forcefully.
Tejo eyed him suspiciously and Fateh almost faltered under the weight of her gaze. He knew better than anyone, that Tejo's eyes were sharper than most. He'd noticed the shift in her perception two weeks ago when he'd accidentally flirted with her.
It wasn't that he had meant to, but rather he'd wanted to. He had been holding in his own emotions for a little over a month, clutching to the small moments of sanity that Tejo's presence brought him. But on that full moon night, he'd lost a small semblance of his control.
She had been sheathed in her nightgown, a light lilac he thought only Tejo could bring to life. Her hair was tangled and she'd been combing it in the cove of their window. When he'd made the mistake of staring too long at her, she'd caught him and asked him what was wrong.
"Oh tohra sambhal ke Tejo ji, kahin chaand bhi aapse sharmaa na jaaye."
She'd looked at him as if he'd grown several heads as the words had escaped his mouth. Fateh's facade had slipped entirely and it had taken a week of pretending otherwise to make his wife not suspect him.
Tejo had made it abundantly clear that she had zero expectations from their marriage. Where Tejo had always understood his emotions and motivations better than he had, Fateh was surprised that she could not place the emotions that seemed to be leaking from him now. How could she not recognize the very love she claimed he'd had for Jasmine? How could she look at him and not know the way his eyes softened at the sight of her?
He'd known then that he'd have to tread carefully around his wife. His shrewd, hawkeye wife. But his wife. The word that had felt like a curse, a divine punishment, mere months ago, was the only thing that tied her to him irrevocably. Tejo was his wife. It was a truth he did not hold lightly and it was a reality he was eternally grateful for.
"Tumhe pata tumhari problem kya hai?" she spoke, breaking him out of his thoughts.
Fateh turned to his side, resting his head on his palm and gave her a mischievous smile.
"Kya?" he prodded.
Tejo's heart leaped at the sight of his smile and she bit her lip. Fateh, without thinking of the consequence, reached forward with his free hand and tugged at her bottom lip, releasing it from the assault of her teeth. Tejo's breath hitched at his proximity and she almost swayed into his touch.
It had been difficult, the past month had been more difficult than the rest for Tejo. She hadn't noticed the shift in Fateh's gaze but the way he spoke to her, the way he'd begun to touch her, had changed something inside her. She could no longer contain the way her skin charged when he touched her.
It had been a while since she'd felt like a woman with needs, but the proximity to Fateh had become dizzying for her. While he'd started off a man angry at his own fate and hers, he'd transformed back into her best friend seamlessly albeit a little awkwardly. The way he listened to her, offered her advice and allowed her to come into herself after their marriage, he'd become the husband she'd always dreamed of.
Except for one thing. He did not love her.
She knew he would never be capable of it. Not in the way she'd seen him love her sister.
It killed Tejo to be around him when he was like this. Attentive, careful, watchful. The heavy emotion in his eyes were not ones she could decipher, but she assumed that now more than ever he probably wished for Jasmine's presence. Every day that Fateh became kinder and more patient, Tejo was reminded that she was not the wife he had ever wanted. She was just his best friend.
Tejo felt sick with selfishness. She wanted, neigh had begged, every god and goddess that could listen that while she was grateful for the life she had, why had it been a curse to not be loved? Why could she not hope for the same? That if Fateh could not give her the love her soul craved, why had she been tied to him?
Fateh cocked his head slightly and watched the bewilderment grow in Tejo's eyes. Could it be that she felt even an ounce of the turmoil he did? Not breaking his gaze from hers, Fateh decided to push his luck.
His thumb rested on her bottom lip and he moved his hand to cup her jaw, locking her in place. He felt the sharp intake of her breath and a vicious victory lapped inside his chest.
His steel-eyed wife was affected. By him. The knowledge scared him, down to his bones, and in punishment both to himself and his wife, he removed his hand.
Tejo's warmth had burned his fingers and he wanted nothing more than to reach across their pillow wall to catch her again. It always surprised him, how nervous he felt around her. The woman that challenged him, pushed him to be better, annoyed him like no one else. Tejo, whose very gaze was enough to send his heart running a hundred miles an hour.
She cleared her throat and moved away from him, the distance piercing at Fateh's lungs. "Tumhari problem yeh hai, ke tumhe hamesha lagta hai ke tum sahi ho."
Fateh laughed, a noise so boisterous it reverberated inside Tejo. She watched him throw his head back, the tension releasing from him in cool waves. She smiled softly and his gaze landed back on her.
"That's rich coming from you," Fateh poked.
"You've become awful lately you know that? You never used to tease me this much before," she huffed, pulling their blanket up to her chest.
Fateh shook his head, turning to face her completely. "I definitely did, shadain ji."
Tejo pouted, chucking a pillow at Fateh's head and another laugh escaped him.
"Tejo..." she heard him whisper, his eyes full of a new mischievous light.
"Hmm?" she responded, her heart picking up speed as his eyes scanned her face.
Fateh smiled. "Tejo."
Tejo furrowed her eyebrows together in confusion and he knew what question would leave her, so he spoke again.
"I was testing how your name sounds without the ji," he teased.
What he couldn't say was that he was testing the bounds of their relationship again. He was deliberately finding the steps that felt safe enough for her. That the ji had always put her at a distance from him, a sign of respect that placed her miles away from his reach. That Tejo, just Tejo, felt like he was bringing her miles closer into the ocean of his storm. That if he said her name, just her name enough times, it felt like an anchor in the chaos.
"You want to say my name?" she asked, her voice smaller than it was before. No one spun her logical mind the way Fateh had.
"Tejo." He whispered with a finality that stopped Tejo's heart.
"Fateh." She offered his name as a truce and an understanding.
Something had shifted then, something Tejo could not place but that terrified her all the same. Maybe it was the light in Fateh's eyes as he watched her or the calm that hearing him say her name had brought her. Tejo's eyes drifted and she fell asleep, safer than she had felt in months.
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A/N: So I just watched today's episode and while I was thoroughly unimpressed by Fateh's anger antics, his pain is so palpable and Ankit is such a privilege to watch onscreen. Fateh has a long way to go until this Jasmine bhoot savar leaves him, but I know that once he allows himself to fall in love with Tejo it will be like coming home for him. I got such an astounding response on my last OS that I decided to upload this one as well. Thank you all for the love!!
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