Anurag Kashyap’s daughter Aaliyah receives rape threats after posting - Page 5

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YourCat thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago

Originally posted by: cutejodikangal


Some people’s decency and respect is limited to the clothes they wear and the kind of outwardly show they put up. Unfortunately they are incapable of extending the same favor to their innerselves. Their loss! 


oh please I am not your celebrity who needs to put up show to impress human. And the reason I dont need to strip my clothes for attention or money is because i can get others attention or make money with my personality, hard work or intellect. That how I will "earn" my respect with hard work and not some cheap easy way. Dont compare me with your celebrity who only have guts to call out people online while ignoring the sexual harassment, casting couch, bullying and etc that happens in their own industry.

Edited by Lalakhun1 - 3 years ago
Ur-Miserable thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Originally posted by: 2RsFan

It might sound harsh but countries like India shouldn't allow access to social media for everyone, especially the people from lower socioeconomic classes. When it comes to social behaviour, we are still 100 yrs behind the West 

It isn't about third world or second world country or first world. 

Slvt shaming isn't exclusive to any country.

It is the power of anonymity which gives these low lives to write vile texts. Although society also has to grow,  because calling girls hoes because they wear short dresses,  isn't limited to social media only.

ru.qayyah thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

I hope she turns off comments and DMs, nothing good comes out of it. 

Charaiveti thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Some comments here r so 🤢 chi chi yuck thu

Thatgirl16 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Wow victim blaming is so deep rooted in the society that it's scary. Being a female is tough everywhere even on social media. 

It happens to everybody and every single one should speak up. Its not okay to ignore such things, more power to her. 

Oh btw a few days back I recieved a series of lewd messages, when I went onto check who it was I realised he's a member of my extended family. Someone who's exactly double+5 years of my age. I call him dada💔

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Posted: 3 years ago

Turn comments off. 

This happens to all celebrities. Learn to deal with it. 

Don't post pictures in your lingerie. 

All these statements are different shades of victim-blaming. You are putting the onus on the victim to not get abused rather than the perpetrators to not abuse. 

South Asian social media can be some of the vilest and vitriolic social media out there. Whenever someone disagrees or does not adhere to arbitrary moral codes people lash out with rape threats and other abuses. Even many who behave well online are equally guilty because they choose to be bystanders and never take a meaningful stance against abusive people. 

Whether a woman is fully clothed or buck naked there is absolutely zero reasons to abuse her or threaten her. As a human, she deserves to be treated with respect and compassion all the time. To me the only acceptable response when a woman is slut-shamed and abused is to stand by her, affirm her, support her and call out her abusers for being the vile humans they are. 

---

It is not always easy to find the right words when you are distraught and upset. There is absolutely nothing wrong in getting help from someone to say the right words. Forget distraught or upset, I'll often get second opinions in the workplace on emails to difficult coworkers or senior leadership to make sure I'm choosing my words wisely. 

Haiwan thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Originally posted by: 2RsFan

It might sound harsh but countries like India shouldn't allow access to social media for everyone, especially the people from lower socioeconomic classes. When it comes to social behaviour, we are still 100 yrs behind the West 

Sorry I disagree. Mithya hai dost.. I personally know  guys from "higher" socioeconomic classes who are vile and abusive towards women. Some used to pass lewd comments while walking with me. I had to almost bury my head in the ground.

I have not closely observed other countries. But vile men exist in India in general, irrespective of their background.  Taadaad bhi achhi khaasi hai inki.

HearMeRoar thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago

Sorry to say Indian men have become notorious on social media for crass behavior.

 

I keep most of my social media either private or anon (like IF). I do have a public FB page which I use for my writings. I used to have an Insta page, too. The first profile pic (in both) was kind of nice. Not lingerie like Aaliyah put up. A headshot. That's it. I started getting dirty messages, mostly in my inbox. Some comments on my posts. "Are you available?" is a frequent question. Plenty of "I love you"s. A couple of pics (you know the kind). A few offers to make me the sub in S&M. I deleted all of them.

 

Eventually, I put up the most regular pic of myself I could find. It's not bad, but very casual, makeup-less, and gharelu type profile photo. The messages didn't stop.

 

Bottomline is clear. No matter what you wear, no matter if you go without makeup, no matter how G-rated your posts are (mine are), you're going to face sexual harassment. And yeah, the pervs are not of any particular socioeconomic class or age. I've checked the profiles; some appear to be retired professors, etc. (they could be lying on FB).

 

I deleted my Insta account. Still have the FB page. I delete loathsome comments as soon as I find them. Some of my family follow the page, so they alert me. I report and block the pervs. I have an agent who I vent to (no, I'm no celeb; just a writer). My editor, who actually has a large Twitter following, wants me to out the pervs; she says she will share the posts on her social media. I can't handle it, so I thanked her and told her not for now.

 

Each time I get a particularly vile message, I find myself unable to write for a few days. Thanks to my very supportive signfiicant other and family and friends, I bounce back each time. 

 

Sharing this only because of the sheer number of people who assume women *ask for it* some way. All I asked for was to be allowed to write.

 

Think I'm alone? Read this:

 

https://sachinrsharma.wordpress.com/2016/01/27/why-indian-men-are-hated-by-foreign-women-on-social-media/

 

EDITED TO ADD: one of the main reasons the comments elsewhere about lowering expectations get my goat is this. Why should I? Either in my safety (physical and mental) or where my career is concerned? I'm a human with the same God-given rights as any other human on this planet, man, woman, somewhere in between, or none of the above. Why not insist that society treat women as human? It might not happen right away, but first instinct should not be to tell the women what she should've done/should do or that she is really not likely to succeed because... yeah, circumstances. Yes, awareness is also important, but those lectures have a time and place and should not take precedence over dealing with social problems.

Edited by HearMeRoar - 3 years ago
Ur-Miserable thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

the biggest problem about this whole issue is,  instead of uniting people with each other,  it is dividing due to the politics involved. The politics of shaming a whole community or nation,  due to incidents involved. 

Politics should not be involved,  and when it gets involved a new  problem of division arises, and people ignore the main issue,  and instead of having sympathy with the victim,  they are seen as some kind of trouble maker or attention seeker. 

And that is how the world work. 



Are section of the Indian men gross,  vile and creepy in social media,  yes they are.  Are only a section of Indian men,  gross,  vile and creepy in internet? No.  Why do you think,  most of the female  US based or UK based artists or Koreans artists(giving these three,  because I follow these countries trend) ,  are making songs,  videos and posts regarding slvt shaming, harassment in social media and creepy dick pics in DM. 


This isn't saying,  "see other countries are also having them,  so it isn't just India,  so it is normal". No this is to just to give this idea that this selective generalization of a country or region,  which leds to diversion of the main topic.


In an ideal world,  the first step would be to punish those creeps. A girl may click her pics in anyway she wants,  with clothes,  less clothes or nude,  people shouldn't be giving her sexual threats or moral policing her or slvt shaming her. And if someone does,  he or she should be punished. 


But wait,  our world isn't ideal.  Our world just sucks,  so when someones tells you to ignore or block,  not always it means they are blaming the victims,  but telling you to take precautions. Are they suggesting correct advice? No.  But is their intention bad? No.


These discussions are complex, and different groups of opinions are formed among different groups of people. Some use these for their agenda,  some are genuinely naive and some are just hateful. So imo,  when people are discussing these things,  people should know that one person is being attacked and another person or more are attacking. The action needs to be taken against that attacker,  and not used to malign the image of a group. This leds to people being divided,  and always tends up with nothing.

HearMeRoar thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago

Originally posted by: MujheMaarjaneDo

the biggest problem about this whole issue is,  instead of uniting people with each other,  it is dividing due to the politics involved. The politics of shaming a whole community or nation,  due to incidents involved. 

Politics should not be involved,  and when it gets involved a new  problem of division arises, and people ignore the main issue,  and instead of having sympathy with the victim,  they are seen as some kind of trouble maker or attention seeker. 

And that is how the world work. 



Are section of the Indian men gross,  vile and creepy in social media,  yes they are.  Are only a section of Indian men,  gross,  vile and creepy in internet? No.  Why do you think,  most of the female  US based or UK based artists or Koreans artists(giving these three,  because I follow these countries trend) ,  are making songs,  videos and posts regarding slvt shaming, harassment in social media and creepy dick pics in DM. 


This isn't saying,  "see other countries are also having them,  so it isn't just India,  so it is normal". No this is to just to give this idea that this selective generalization of a country or region,  which leds to diversion of the main topic.


In an ideal world,  the first step would be to punish those creeps. A girl may click her pics in anyway she wants,  with clothes,  less clothes or nude,  people shouldn't be giving her sexual threats or moral policing her or slvt shaming her. And if someone does,  he or she should be punished. 


But wait,  our world isn't ideal.  Our world just sucks,  so when someones tells you to ignore or block,  not always it means they are blaming the victims,  but telling you to take precautions. Are they suggesting correct advice? No.  But is their intention bad? No.


These discussions are complex, and different groups of opinions are formed among different groups of people. Some use these for their agenda,  some are genuinely naive and some are just hateful. So imo,  when people are discussing these things,  people should know that one person is being attacked and another person or more are attacking. The action needs to be taken against that attacker,  and not used to malign the image of a group. This leds to people being divided,  and always tends up with nothing.


See, I get that generalizations are never good. But when there's a pattern, it shouldn't be ignored. Or the problem will never get solved. There *is* an issue - be it patriarchy or Bollywood's normalization of such behavior or sexual repression or the ingrained idea that women in public are public property or whatever. Needs to be tackled. It's not about maligning but about finding a fix.


I could probably do a little digging and come up with data on demographics of vile social media behavior. Not going to because it will only set off an argument in which sides will be taken based on politics. The info is out there for anyone to pick up. 


I'll exit the argument with one small observation. No one is going to know how dehumanizing and humiliating it is unless and until they've been on the receiving end. I got only a small taste of it. And I'm a grown woman. The girl we're talking about is what? 15 or 16? Can't even imagine what could've gone through her mind. Trust me, they don't need to hear "You should've... you should do..." etc. They need full-throated support.

Edited by HearMeRoar - 3 years ago