It's not a good afternoon, sisters.
I am still seething with rage. My mind has been troubled since I saw this disturbing episode of at least FOUR "elders" trying to trample upon the joy that filled a young girl's heart because she was to take the first step in the direction of fulfilling her dreams. And at least "TWO" so-called modern, younger women deriving pleasure out of the humiliation and physical torture of this young, ambitious girl. It was heart-wrenching. Not because those known to be depraved meted out the kind of insult they did but because of the silence around it.
I did not mind the necessity to give electric mixers a skip and use the sil-batta (known as pata-varvanta in Marathi) because some people are particular about the texture and flavour of masalas. Most of us may have a mortar and pestle at home -- a more handy version of the pata-varvanta. But the intention behind the act was to use the sil-batta to crush a young woman's wings, self-respect, aspirations and identity. And, those who should have spoken for her stood in silence.
I have LOVED Ashwini's character for being so compassionate and affectionate towards everyone in the family. But today, it took me a couple of hours to overcome the disappointment I felt with her. First, when she expressed that she was "still disappointed" about the previous day -- it was alright. It happens between mothers and daughters (I don't want to add 'in-law' to it because Sai has the fortune of having a mother in her and I can totally relate to it). But what disturbed me was her dailogue "yahan sab bade bade chasme laga kar tumhari galtiyaan dhoondh rahe hain, inhe mauka mat do". It came just a day (rather few hours) after she expressed her disappointment with Virat and Sai in the "zillat ring" when and told her "Is ghar ke kuch niyam tumhe manne honge... main bhi naraaz ho sakti hoon, suna sakti hoon"... Yes, it actually wasn't Ashwini speaking. It was a mother (in-law) wanting to 'protect' her daughter (in-law) from the onslaught of the disapproving by trying to tell her to 'avoid confrontations' and give in at times. It means: Don't do the things that would displease the elders and result in this war of words time and again. Why? Why should Sai be burdened with this expectation of becoming the "aadarsh bahu" in a marriage of a "raw deal" -- and again, I want to add she did not sign up for this when Virat gave her no other choice but to marry him.
And that, followed by Ashwini's silence in the 'cooking arena' when everyone -- led by the spokesperson of Makad Gang-- continued to heap insults at Sai. Honestly, Ashwini's silence disturbed me. Ashwini did not want to speak up to the douchebag husband of hers and his beloved vahini and she had already been shut in a matter concerning the other "shahannav kuli" bahu Sonali, but couldn't Ashwini have spoken up to ask Patralekha to shut up. I know it wouldn't have helped much but today, for once, it felt as if Sai was ALL alone in that mob-lynching without Virat. Yes, "mob-lynching" it was. And Sai, ultimately, decided to give in because the attack was directed at "Aai".
I understand Ashwini does not want to escalate matters but did she not know that Virat is at home? The entire family even sets aside their breathing activity when they have to keep an eye on what Virat is up to. The official newspaper of Chakram niwas, Karishma, saw Virat at home as well. So, why did Ashwini not call out to him if she knew she couldn't handle the situation alone and stand up for Sai on this important day? Didn't Ashwini know that they had decided to not let Sai go to her college on Day one? She couldn't talk back to Ninad and Bhavani after a point-- usually it is that way -- but she could have warned them that she will call Virat, even if he wasn't at home. At least after Sai had already injured herself and decided to grind the chillies in her anger. Doesn't Ashwini know already that only Virat can handle Sai when she is fuming mad?
Ashwini knew about the mahabhoj, so why didn't even Ashwini inform Sai or Virat and tell Sai that she would have to make some symbolic contribution to the bhoj? (I know it wasn't in her script, but it is an unanswered question). I understood that Ashwini was disappointed with Sai about the incident of the previous and she had not liked Sai's reporter act. But she should be more disappointed with Virat for miscommunicating their plan to her. Was her disappointment the reason why even she did not tell Sai and Virat about the mahabhoj?
Ashwini's silence in dealing with the "toxicity" is exactly why Virat is the way he is -- unable to refuse and stand up for himself even when he is pushed to the corner. Like I mentioned in my post the other day, normalising toxicity in the name of 'sanskaar, parampara and niyam kanoon' is detrimental to personal mental health. Now, she wants Sai to do the same thing. And because Sai and Ashwini also share that emotional attachment where Sai would actually do anything it takes for Ashwini, this "emotional pressure" will always come in the way of standing up for justice for self. Yes, Ashwini has backed Sai all this while but they were major issues like -- getting an entry into the house, her college admissions and the insult she was meted out when she returned from the DIG office, but mental peace lies in 'everyday interactions'. Ashwini, although she is strong, will buckle under the pressure if she's alone without Virat to back her. She did not put down her foot and fight for Sai even after Sai was physically injured. What compulsion does she have to give in to honourable aadarsh bahu's taunt about "bacche mature hone ke liye saaya hataana padta hai.."
A bitter truth (speaking from watching several cases) is that the most "knotty" relationships are between co-sisters (devrani, jethani) of a family and sisters-in-law (bhabhi, nanand). Either they will get along like soul sisters or they will be baying for blood. I have seldom seen an in-between in my life experience. This episode was (obviously exaggerated for cinematic liberty) but not entirely off the mark. There are families where a "working, professional" woman will be ridiculed, humiliated and pushed to the breaking point for the 'sadist pleasure' of the other women in competition.
Today, it was not just a fall from the leftover humanity (words respect or grace would not hold) for Patralekha and the entire Makad Gang, but also for Karishma in my eyes. I don't want to even talk about Patralekha because I said in the last post when she made the "ghar le lo" comment that often our integrity is eroded by the evil actions we make in a state of delusion -- she has reached there. Her shallow talk about "sanskaar given by parents" and her venom against Sai will all get answers in due course. Today her unscrupulous act that did not make her conscience shiver is very telling of the kind of values her parents have instilled in her. It was her way of giving reply to Sai's question: "Aap mirch masala daalkar tadka maarengi ya... yunhi chup chaap khadi rahengi?" She actually added the mirch masala to the animosity between them. Again, very evidently the way to hurt her "imaginary adulterous husband" Virat is by torturing his object of affection-- Sai. We get you, Patralekha but in return, you are flexing your "moral muscle" to a breaking point of no return.
Karishma: she is a woman who is so dismayed by her own spineless husband and the torture she may have undergone that she cannot see another woman having what she doesn't have - a husband speaking up for her and the backing of the saas for things that don't gel with family niyams. In her case, her in-laws would only gloat about the niyams she follows, without considering what she really wants and Mohit, well, the only assal Maratha son of the house is nothing more than a poodle at the moment. She will act out of jealousy just watching Sai have what she wants. And, right now, her ally can be the humdard frenemy Patralekha.
Ninad Chavan: I do not know how is this man going to redeem himself in the eyes of his son, who considered him a mentor and guide? Really, the painful alienation of the son is on the cards unless a miracle saves Ninad. So often, men who stand up for justice (*not wife) are forced to estrangement because the 'elders' cannot ever find their moral fibre and see things rationally and the son's dilemma is merciless ground on the sil-batta of guilt and manipulation.
This is only the beginning of the drama that Sai (and we) will see but the silver lining is the fight that Virat and Sai will put up. I hope Chavan Saheb will do justice to this 23-minute long one-sided torture of our dewdrop that we saw today. Also, I have a few questions to be asked to Chavan Saheb, but I will fist allow him to make his presentation tomorrow. Chocoates se kaam nahi chalega, ACP.
And Sai, my dewdrop, remember that you are the princess of your Aaba. Get up, straighten that crown and break the promise you made to an unworthy, vile woman trying to race with you a race that you are not even running. Smack her in her face.
On that note, have a good day, sisterhood!
Sending warm hugs🤗 and hoping that the heart will find some cheer soon❤️!
Love❤️
J
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