MIRZAPUR-3 (For hardcore Mirzapur Fan friends, for a few smiles n laughs)
DISCLAIMER: Season as well as Preview suitable for Only 65+
Spanning 9 episodes of 45-50 minutes each, the story now not only encompasses Mirzapur-Jaunpur of UP, Balia-Motihari of Bihar, but incredibly, gets extended to dacoits infested Chambal ravines of MP too.
Not revealing any spoilers for Mirzapur Season -2 still, Season-3 has Akhandanand Tripathi urf Kaleen Bhaiyya, inheriting the wheel-chair of his father, Satyanand Tripathi.
The difference is that now instead of the Discovery channel, Kaleen Bhaiyya is seen watching Republic Bharat and NDTV India by turn.
Unlike audios of Discovery Channel scenes in Mirzapur 1 & 2, now we hear Raveesh Kumar’s tragedy-struck, dukhiyaari voice on NDTV echoing inside the Haweli of Kaleen Bhaiyya,”Doosri Party se gathh-bandhan, Rajneetik Dalon ki Aavashyakta Nahin, -------Ek Majboori Ban Jaata Hai Kayi Baar-----“
In a flash, Beena Tripathi is shown from behind, excitedly jumping over a trampoline non-stop.
Close up shot reveals it is not a trampoline but Jaunpur waala Don, Sharad Shukla, posing as a trampoline!
Both are shown fully clothed, so except ones with twisted minds, no one could have imagined anything improper there!
Scene flips back to Kaleen Bhaiyya nodding head affirmatively to by now devastated voice of Ravish Kumar, enlightening all with a Nirvana wisdom pearl,”Aane waala samay hi bataayega, ki ye Rajneetik Gathh-bandhan, Inhein Raajneetik laabh dilaayega, -----ya in ke gale ki haddi ban jaayega!” :(
A Gandhian values waala ACP has replaced the Chameleon type ACP Maurya and he is shown explaining to Guddu Tyagi,”Bhaai-Lens Se aaj tak kisi ka bhalaa nahin naa hua hai Re Guddu---- Gandhi kaa raah pe chalke dekho naa----------ek baar------Pileazzzz!”
Mand Buddhi Guddu Tyagi keeps chewing Gutkha, maniacal eyes bulging out of their sockets & replies after a long pause,”Bhaai-Lens isliye nahin karte bey, ----ki Bhaai-Lens zaroori Hai------ Isliye Karte Hain, Kyun Ki Mazaa aata hai hum ko Bhaai-Lens Mein------Abey Gyaan Mat Pelo Tum!----------_Aur Rahi Baat Gandhi Ki, toh woh toh Hamesaa rehte hain------hummare Batue mein Bey-----“ He flashes a bundle of Note at ACP’s face, who slaps his forehead in frustration.
This first episode also shows Dedh Footiya Dadda Tyagi, Lilliput, having transformed into a rampaging lunatic!
Dadda Tyagi frequently recalls flashback scenes from Mirzapur-2 Climax Scene.
Unable to come to terms with the collapse of his own twin towers, Dadda Tyagi is shown repeatedly screaming,”Hum ko Sab Se Bada BaahuBali Banna hai Ab-----Bahutt-tayi Bada Bahubali banna hai hum ko!”
Few scenes of Chambal Beehads of Madhya Pradesh reveal that Cops as well as natives there now live in terror of an outlaw called SIR-PHATIYAA!
No one seems to have seen him, but legends abound about him splitting heads of exploiters, rapists and corrupt cops. “Sir-Phatiyaa ka Naam hi G* phaad deta hai, aur Jisne us ko dekha, wo us ka Sir Phaad deta hai-----‘, is the way one scared Inspector puts it to an over inquisitive creature, cast as an maha-irritating, eternally chirping female journalist of Newspaper “Chambal Ki Goonj”.
EPISODE 2 (LANGDAA AAM)
Gandhian values waala ACP tries to convince maniacal, Mand-Buddhi Guddu Tyagi to give up on his dreams of becoming Opium King and instead, suggests him to rule the Mango Sales trade instead.
“Mirzapur Afeem ke liye badnaam hai Guddu, -----lekin Mirzapur ki Shaan yahaan ka Langda Aam hai Re-----.”
In a mentor role, he tries inspiring Guddu to go legit and just when he seems to be making progress, Guddu recoils in horror when ACP addresses Guddu as BETA and Guddu threatens,”Baap banne ka kosis naa karo tum ACP----is zindagi ke liye ek hi kaafi hai------maar denge----Jaan se maar denge--- bataa rahe hain tum ko!”
Back in Balia Bihar, Dedh Footiya Dadda Tyagi has inserted a Pistol inside the mouth of a Gareeb compounder.
Dadda Tyagi is screaming,”Bada hone ka Dawaai De Hum ko---- Taaqatwar Hone Ka Dawaai De----“
Terrified & terribly misunderstanding the command, shivering compounder hands over a jar of Blue Pills. Compounder’s voice prescription of ,”24 Ghantaa mein ek thho Tablet basss----“, gets drowned as Dadda and his goons start firing celebratory rounds in air and triumphantly march out of compounder’s dispensary!
Guddu Tyagi’s life seems to be changing and with confused expressions he is looking at roll of eyes of Golu Gupta even as she advises,”Thkekedaari leni padegi Guddu------Aam ke Bageechon ki!”
Shabnam excitedly says her father Lala, has many orchards of delicious Dussehri and Safeda Aams in Malihabad!
Golu cuts her short with a very rude,”Humein sirf Langde Aam mein Interest hai, chalo Guddu!”
Confused Guddu registers a weak protest,” Tasty Dussehri jyaada hota hai---wo-----wo choos bhi sakte hain us ko------Langde Aam ko sirf kaatna padta hai Golu“!
If looks could kill, Golu’s would have evaporated Guddu then and there!
At haweli, Akhandanand Tripathi is on his wheel chair and watching Republic Bharat, the Hindi torture channel of Arnab!
Arnab Goswami is hysterically screaming inside Haweli,”Aakhir ho kya raha hai ye?----Poochhta hai Bharat ki ho kya raha hai, ----Kyun Ho Jaata Hai Desh, ---Is tarah Mazboor aur helpless?”
“Beena Ji Rukiye,” in a firm voice and gun pointed at her, Kaleen Bhaiyya stops her from bolting the door of his room.
“Humein Sab Maaloom Hai-----Ki aap kya gul khilaa rahi hain----aaj hum kissa hi khatam kar dete hain saara!”
Fearlessly Beena walks towards him, puts her finger under his chin, and pushes his chin upwards!
With suppressed half-smile, seductively she says, ”Moong ki daal ka halwa banaaye hain, --khaayiyega???-----Ya khul ke chhati pe Moong dalein aap ki??---Hain???-“, she shows him the bullets she had already removed out of his gun before------storms out of the room, bolting it from outside.
Akhandanand Tripathi gives a sharp jerk to his neck leftwards and murmurs,” Triya charitram, Purushasya bhagyam, Devo Na Janati, Kuto Manushya...??”” :(
On TV, spit and froth is coming out of the mouth of a very angry Arnab Gowami,”Kaise kar sakte ho aisi manmaani?----Arey--- Poochhta hai Bharat, kaise----JAWAAB DO!” Arnab collapses in his studio room, Kaleen Bhaiyya on his wheel chair!
EPISODE 3 (GOLU KI RAAS-LEELA AUR LANGDI DAUD)
Compounder’s voice prescription of”24 Ghantaa mein ek thho Tablet basss----“, gets drowned as Dadda Tyagi and his goons start firing celebratory rounds in air and triumphantly march out!
The above flashback scene starts the Part 03 and flashback of climax scene shootout of Mirzapur-2 is shown.
“Hum Ka bahutt-tayi bada Baahubali ban-na hai----“, screams Dadda Tyagi and pops in all 40 Blue Pills, snatched from the scared compounder before.
Dedh Footiya Dadda Tyagi is shown twisting in agony, his body violently tossing around!
Hair start sprouting all over his body, lot of smoke and eventually, after a JAANI DUSHMAN type Sanjiv Kumar transformation, Dadda Tyagi transforms in to a----Lo & Behond!---- Saat Footiya Giant---role taken over by The Great Khali!
The Great Khali, as Dadda Tyagi screams,”Labad-Labad Go-uuuuu -Habad-Dhabad Guggoooo----Rabad-Labad-Dhabad-Habad Go-uuuuuu----Guggoooo----Kahammm hai Muhe----Hai Bhoye-aaanhhhh“!
Two rewinds and replays of the scene, won’t help you to understand what he said and you have to read the subtitles:
“Now the only purpose of my life is to bury alive Golu Gupta and Guddu Tyagi---I swear on God------Jai Bhole Nath!”
Scene cuts to Golu Gupta receiving a call from Beena Tripathi, who informs her that Guddu hasn’t gone to the Aam Ka Bageecha for any research about Mango trade, but for a dating session there with Kal-munhi Shabnam.
Sprinting and rolling all over, Golu Gupta races towards Mango orchard and points her gun towards the back side of who she assumes to be a limping Guddu Tyagi.
The limping man turns around, gun pointed towards Golu!
Lo & Behold!
It is our beloved Munna Tripathi!
“Aye saala!----- Goli jaisi Golu ke haath mein Pistaul ---M***C…” Munna laughs aloud!
“Chupp B*** C-------bandook phenk----Goli maar denge hum---“ Golu screams!
“Tum---Tumne Hum Ko B*** C bola M***C???” Impressed Munna is taken aback!
“BC bhi bola----M*C---bhi bolenge------Phenko Pistaul!” Golu threatens!
Amazement in Munna’s eyes, transforms into admiration, even as he politely pleads,”Golu---M**C nahin bolo----Mummy bahut acchi family se thhi humaari--------,”! :(
Munna drops the gun on ground and keeps murmuring,”Goli mat chalaana-------Chaaho toh Chala Bhi Do waise-----Hum Amar Hain Golu!”
Shaatir Golu does a quick math!
Beena who she thought was on her side, wasn’t really so, as she had sent her to Mango orchard in the hope that Munna would eliminate her.
Mand-Buddhi Guddu would inevitably fall for Shabnam; Guddu was sure to ignore jewish nose of Shabnam and still fall for her, as unlike Golu, Shabnam was Guddu’s matching height. Plus retaining by her side a Mand-Buddhi like Guddu was more like living with a drunk monkey holding a hand grenade without Pin, and the monkey could end it all any moment!
“Hum ko maaf kar do Golu ----BC---bahut bada Ch*yaapa ho gaya hum se,” sitting besides Golu, Munna is seen sobbing!
Shaatir Golu stands up so that her lips can reach sitting Munna’s lips and she makes a tactical lip-lock on them! Israel-Azerbaijan type alliance!
Golu asks Munna about the Political woman in Munna’s life and Munna assures her,”Wo humaare Baap dwaara, thhopi hui majboori thhi B**C--------Thhopna samajhti ho??“
Out of nowhere, limping Guddu lunges at Munna, who tries escaping with an even more exaggerated limp!
Breath taking climax results in Langdaa Aam orchard, even as Langda Munna gets chased by Langda Guddu!
“Jaan se maar denge aaj tum ko Munna-----saala koi Patthar bhi nahin mil raha B***C….”, Mand-Buddhi Guddu is looking around for a stone to hit Munna with, totally forgetting he has a loaded revolver in hand!
“Tum kyaa Maaroge hum ko Bey M***C------ Amar Hum Hain Bey-----Tum Nahin”, Munna thunders even as he vanishes into the dense orchard!
Someone fires a shot--------and in hazy dim, sun setting, someone falls down!
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