Can you love someone who has wronged you?

Or rather ? Can you STIlLL love someone who has wronged you ? 

A very sensible , sensitive and valid question but in kzk2 there Is no place for these words so comparing anything to kzk2 is a waste of time . So we can take a hypothetical analysis for the time being , because anurag wronged prerna (at least this is what she believes right now )  and she too has done it in the past a lot of times. 

Reason this came to my mind is , I am watching 3 serials these days . One of kzk2 , other 2 are paki serials , ye dil mera and mere paas tum ho. While ye dil mera is a spine chilling revenge story (it's still incomplete , the finale is yet to air) which obviously ekta k cant even dream of conceptualizing.  That's what revenge is truly..

 mere paas tum ho , I am close to watching the finale..so the later is about infertility,but with that , a tragic love story of the hero. His wife betrays him for a rich man ,he tries to save his marriage in every way possible, even ready to take her back after knowing that she slept with the other guy,but she divorces him ,only to repent later. 

Now when she realizes her mistake , he refuses to accept her back, he said he is hollow from inside..a dead man walking.. only for their son ....their college friends who are now married discuss their problem. As per the heroine, she may not love the hero but he always loved her so how can his love change by this betrayal ? Why cant he still love her ? N he replied that when we love someone we r blind , we dont see the world , but when one of them does , "doosre ki aankhein bhi khul jaati hain. He is no more blind or let's say blindly in love and he can never love her the same way" 

This was my fav part ..they said the girl insulted his love , insulted all those girls who love their husbands and treat them like gods..she insulted motherhood.. She wronged him ..well the heroine asks a lot of valid questions..when the men are forgiven for infidelity, why cant the women also be forgiven? When their wives easily take them back like nothing happened , why cant my husband do it bec he loves me ? 

So is love the only thing which keeps a relationship going irrespective of anything ? A very wrong message being sent out by the makers o kzk2. And hope this time they mend it and show pre as more human and make anurag suffer for his mistakes. Mr bajaj or no Mr. Bajaj,  currently its preposterous to show pre day dreaming of her child's supposed murderer. 👎🏼

Sorry for the long post. 

Abhi kya hi bolo, Charu 

Everyone is stressing on Anurag killing Prerna's child because none expects her to hate him for trying to kill her, he is not even sorry, Anurag gets these dialogues about how he is suffering after trying to kill her, They don't even give her dialogues, IF public connects with Prerna then what about Anurag? They just made it a joke to victimize a criminal, we have a movie where wife says that one slap is not enough, that one slap opened her eyes to things which weren't clear to her, Here Prerna day dreams about dancing and romancing with Anurag. 

What Prerna has for Anurag isn't love because if a person knows LOVE, she will definitely love herself more than anyone else, how do you not dislike someone who tried to kill you? Prerna is not an individual in KZK, She is just someone who is written around Anurag Basu to make him look good, to justify his actions 

Is love enough? Love is never enough, love is just a feeling, the strength in a relationship comes from loyalty, trust and likeness. 

Hi charu, can you tell me from where can I find episodes of mere pass Tum ho ? It sounds like something I want to watch.

About the question, I believe love is twisted and every individual has different perspective towards it. I remember when I was watching Humsafar someone asked that why does Asher do drama of loving khirad if he's thrown her out, but he couldn't move on, for him his wife betrayed him but he still couldn't love someone else and the same way khirad couldn't un-love Asher despite the trauma and rejection his mistrust caused to her.

I know someone in my circle who has a very controlling husband and she dates this guy for 8 years knowing how sexist he's, infact she's not allowed to hangout with her friends too but despite knowing everything about him she married him and she's happy, I asked her that how could you marry him when he doesn't give you freedom, she replied to me that ' I love him, I will be suicidal if he's gone from my life's 🙁.. After that I didn't bother to question her because maybe that's how her love works.

Talking about my own personal experience, I still love the man who was my first love, may be I am too weak or a very dumb person to not move on when I do have a lot of good options, but the more I try to mingle with someone I start the very unfortunate comparisons of the person with my ex, he doesn't go out of my system even after years and now I have accepted it that it will be always like this.

So I believe that even though logic and self respect plays a major role in choosing partners, love is a different chapter altogether, I mean I Kno I love someone who has hurt me and I hate myself because I am a capable and a self dependent woman but still that part of the life was probably the best and I could want back .

Anyways sorry for the huge ass post 😮.. it looks too lengthy now 🙄

I see you asked some genuine questions here. First of all, let me segregate love which is an abstract feeling from reality which is more practical, pragmatic and empowering one. When we talk about love there are different forms. In the society, where  monogamy exists, those different forms of love are not accounted for. For some, love is empowering, visionary and gives them wings to fly. For some, love is a sense of security. For a few, love could be devotion.

So to speak, I am not surprised that anyone could love someone who has hurt them. One can fall in such a form of all consuming love, yet never grow over it. The problem lies here with the acceptance of reality. You could be all in love yet reality is something one needs to Accept and act accordingly. Otherwise, it’s a waste of human life. We are programmed in this world to come, procreate, propagate our species. The complications of emotions are an evolved feature in human beings. Let’s keep it at that. You will come across many men and women who are in such toxic relationships just because they are in love. That’s how complicated the human mind is.

Trust me, if there were no laws of the land, you wouldn’t even imagine the depths of darkness a human mind is capable of. So, to answer your question again, yes it is very much possible to love someone in a complex manner despite being hurt. But, having said that, reality is what keeps you awake. It allows you to respect yourself and give purpose to your otherwise non-existential identity. Also, the problem in ITV shows is that the other forms of love like admiration, physical proximity and other aspects are often not shown properly. Nonetheless, it’s probably the maker’s sadistic way of portraying her own reality through the characters.

Komolika 

Don’t you think she is in toxic relationship herself? How sad it is, how self-deprecating it is on her part to keep on yearning for someone who would not even look at her. Yet, she chooses to be in that relationship despite someone not loving her back.


Bajaj

Don’t you think he deserves better too? Years, money, emotions and everything is spent on one woman who doesn’t even bat an eyelid for him. Don’t you think this toxicity of another level altogether?

In short, matters of the heart, laws of the land and reality are all different things. Human mind is complicated and so are its ways. This story is about misery, hopelessness and traumatic love. The only sad part is the lack of meat and establishment ofThe lead pair story. This is a classic example how you ruin a concept of unrequited love so disgracefully.

Also to add, you might never grow over your first love but you can certainly grow into a better world of a new form of love. People do that, often so. Otherwise, the world would be a sad and dramatically different place. The  ‘all consuming’ love which you think is your centre of gravity,  then only becomes a distant reality, a short memory or maybe even a good one. The best part about time and life is that it moves on and heals you.

You can smile again, you can radiate warmth again without being guilty to your previous emotions. They become a part of you and move on with you. The day you stop hurting in love and heal yourself, that is the day you are able to accept life with more kindness and gratefulness. What could have happened if they showed the female lead to move on? That would be reality and she has the full right to be happy. The same goes for all the other characters. They all seem to be  stuck up In life like the lift scene today. 

Destiny can bring you face to face again with someone whom you have loved with all your heart and soul. That encounter shouldn’t rile you up, it should be a different memory where you appreciate the journey you’ve taken for life. Sadly, the characters haven’t evolved over time! Apart from Bajaj’s evolution which I still feel was a little offbeat. It’s natural to move on, it’s healthy to move on. You are blessed with just one life, to experience it’s joys. How self-deprecating, miserable it is to waste it for anyone! 

Thx for the insights girls 🤗 I need some time to absorb all of it and reply . 

@takingastand (sorry dear dunno your name ) , mere paas is available.on youtube ..a superhit series ..as usual lots of debates happened over it . Initially it's a bit drag , and I didnt like the hero but I warmed upto him bec he is at the center stage.... it picked up after epi 12 or 13. But of course watch it from the beginning ..for someone who is a fan of paki serials, they know the initial.epis of every series is a bit bore ,but set up the premise of the story. 😆 Its a completely diff and practical view on love..specially after marriage. 

Oh yes..watch ye dil mera..its awesome.. thrilling 

Originally posted by: NoraSM

Abhi kya hi bolo, Charu 

Everyone is stressing on Anurag killing Prerna's child because none expects her to hate him for trying to kill her, he is not even sorry, Anurag gets these dialogues about how he is suffering after trying to kill her, They don't even give her dialogues, IF public connects with Prerna then what about Anurag? They just made it a joke to victimize a criminal, we have a movie where wife says that one slap is not enough, that one slap opened her eyes to things which weren't clear to her, Here Prerna day dreams about dancing and romancing with Anurag. 

What Prerna has for Anurag isn't love because if a person knows LOVE, she will definitely love herself more than anyone else, how do you not dislike someone who tried to kill you? Prerna is not an individual in KZK, She is just someone who is written around Anurag Basu to make him look good, to justify his actions 

Is love enough? Love is never enough, love is just a feeling, the strength in a relationship comes from loyalty, trust and likeness. 

@bold 👏 Wow.. just wow...this is the crux ...

This is the problem with kzk right ? Prernas pain , anguish, anger or any emotion is sidelined , it's just love which is highlighted about the character which is a.joke in itself.  

The same question arises again..how much is enuf to shake her up to reality ?what is her threshold ? Even if anurags intentions were pure and sneha is alive ,here is a man who neither trusts you (and you dont trust him either), nor protect you , nor give you a better life . He doesnt TRY also 😆First time it was ok, people err and mend their mistakes . Second time ok third time ..but this is the fourth time 🤢if the same situation is repeated , shame on her to hold onto this relationship. It didnt take a min for anurag to cave into komos demands , and do the unthinkable. He is such a coward.....He fails in front of EVERY woman  in his life 😆 this time.anurag should not be forgiven . Is this what you expect from your man? 

Okay so let's start with the basics. I don't like reading and definitely don't read long posts. But to answer your subject from personal experience, here is my take:

I am going through marital crisis and I can tell you. As I glanced in one of the above posts, "love is a feeling" if you have that feeling chances are it's because all the other important criteria (Trust, loyalty, Respect, companionship)  has been met. But should one fail in one of those areas chances are love will be lost very easily. As I said I can tell you that going through it myself. I remember the initial stages of feeling the "love" but it was lost too soon because the other person decided to let go of all the "important" criteria in areas where it mattered the most.

So now to really answer your question NO you cannot love someone who has done you wrong. Definitely not in a romantic relationship. Because IDK if you are familiar with psychology but in psych they have this thing called "boundaries circle"  and the closet person to your inner most circle (you) is supposed to be your significant other. So loving them is like deceiving yourself.

Originally posted by: _charu_

@bold 👏 Wow.. just wow...this is the crux ...

This is the problem with kzk right ? Prernas pain , anguish, anger or any emotion is sidelined , it's just love which is highlighted about the character which is a.joke in itself.  

The same question arises again..how much is enuf to shake her up to reality ?what is her threshold ? Even if anurags intentions were pure and sneha is alive ,here is a man who neither trusts you (and you dont trust him either), nor protect you , nor give you a better life . He doesnt TRY also 😆First time it was ok, people err and mend their mistakes . Second time ok third time ..but this is the fourth time 🤢if the same situation is repeated , shame on her to hold onto this relationship. It didnt take a min for anurag to cave into komos demands , and do the unthinkable. He is such a coward.....He fails in front of EVERY woman  in his life 😆 this time.anurag should not be forgiven . Is this what you expect from your man? 

What can be bigger than someone trying to end her life? What will she do with this love for Anurag, if she is dead? Relationship formed on planet is only because human is a social animal, we need companion with us, someone to be with us in our good or bad days. 

Prerna does not know Anurag's intentions, I can understand Prerna forgiving him for losing those 8 years thinking that he did it for her but right now, at least in this phase of her life, writers should have allowed Prerna to hate Anurag, they ruined it for me with her dreaming about romancing Anurag, which is just sick in my opinion. 

First time when she came face to face Anurag, she thinks about komolika telling her that Anurag loves her and not Prerna, that's all she cares about, Anurag can kill her but how can he love Komolika? And  first thing Anurag asked her was how is she alive after he pushed her? 🤦‍♀️ Next she does Nok Jhok with him 🤦‍♀️ 

What will she do with Anurag's love if she is dead? 

How do we blame Anurag? When he knows that he will kill Prerna and she will dream about romancing him then where is he wrong? He has found the best match for himself, what I dislike is Anurag's self pitying every day 

Originally posted by: Missdesi4ever

Okay so let's start with the basics. I don't like reading and definitely don't read long posts. But to answer your subject from personal experience, here is my take:

I am going through marital crisis and I can tell you. As I glanced in one of the above posts, "love is a feeling" if you have that feeling chances are it's because all the other important criteria (Trust, loyalty, Respect, companionship)  has been met. But should one fail in one of those areas chances are love will be lost very easily. As I said I can tell you that going through it myself. I remember the initial stages of feeling the "love" but it was lost too soon because the other person decided to let go of all the "important" criteria in areas where it mattered the most.

So now to really answer your question NO you cannot love someone who has done you wrong. Definitely not in a romantic relationship. Because IDK if you are familiar with psychology but in psych they have this thing called "boundaries circle"  and the closet person to your inner most circle (you) is supposed to be your significant other. So loving them is like deceiving yourself.

Thx for replying . Well the question cant be generic as everybody's perceptions are different ..would love to read everybody's experience , n that's the purpose of this thread.. 

We all love someone around us..yes trust loyalty and respect are the most imp. Requirements ..my topic was more about "what if these requirements are not met" . It's not like women dont forgive their men for infidelity.  A lot of them do..do thy love their husbands the same way? ..a lot of women face abuse ..may be thy stick to their places but obviously they cannot love the same man the same way?  May be it's more about an individual's priority ..

Like I never prioritize social life so if my husband expects that I am caged well I would love to 😆he expects the opposite of that from me..thats where I feel uncomfortable...😆 but he is fine i dont..thats love ..for me...For some, commitment and loyalty is imp, for some self respect is the most imp. So obviously if they compromise on these , this isnt their priority , they can live with it easily . 

We always discuss if pre was a basu bahu she would face taunts from her mil everyday.  So may be that's not her priority ? She places her husband above all this . Apparently her threshold is infinite 😆 Which is impractical. Now her daughter is dead apparently and she saw her lover getting intimate with another woman and he tried to kill her . Inspite of all this if she day dreams n get feels, its preposterous. At least wait till the time she knows the truth.  The narrative is shitty that way.