"Life is beautiful with my angel"
She is cheerful while I am reserved. She easily mingles with everyone while I am shy. She loves to dance and have fun while I can't even shake a leg. She likes to talk while I am a listener. She has a beautiful voice while I am a bathroom singer. She likes places where she can meet new people and interact while I like to be in my own zone. She likes to party with friends while I like my alone time. She is beautiful while I am, well, I am nothing in front of the guys she has a crush on. She is Zoya and I am Aditya. She is nothing like me and yet I feel I share a connection with her.
It has been close to 3 years since I am here in Trivandrum working as a Software Engineer with an MNC. The place is beautiful and people here are nice and welcoming but the initial excitement to live here starts to wear off when you start craving North Indian food and of course, misses chatting in anything but English (or Malayalam). My team here consists of around 20 people and I was the only North Indian guy. Since I don't know the native language, I was usually left out of the conversations that had nothing to do with the office work. Not that I am a big talker anyway, but there are times when you want that there is someone with whom you can talk freely without the formalities of English. I never realized this until Zoya came into my life argh I mean Zoya came in the office, last year. She is a bubby girl and her presencein the office has changed the entire atmosphere of the office. Suddenly we have started celebrating birthdays in the office, going on weekend trips have become a regular thing, hanging out after office hours, eating lunch together is a new law nowadays and so on. It is not as if she forces us all in these things rather we all have started to enjoy together and have created a new friendly bond instead of just being regular co-workers.
In between all this, I never realized when and how I fell for her. Maybe it's her sweet nature or the way she talks so calmly. Maybe it's the way she does her work with utmost dedication or the way she is so friendly with all. Maybe it's just how her eyes lit up when she smiles. Maybe it's just how easily she deals with my anger and instantly calms me down. Maybe it's the way she has made me so comfortable with her that I have a found a great friend in her with whom I am willing to share my feelings, the thought that is so alien to my usual introvert self. I think it is mostly because of who she is, so beautiful, both inside out. I am not sure if I will ever be able to tell her what she means to me but there are times when I fail to imagine my life without her.
"Aditya...!! Aditya... I am brought out of my thoughts by the sweetest voice in the world. How can someone be so sweet and just so beautiful,"Aditya...are you listening Aditya? she tried again. "Huh..?Han Zoya...yes tell me? I replied finally gaining some control over mysenses. "Aditya...Where are you lost? Are you feeling ok? I have been trying to call you for so long and you are not replying... she said. I cleared my throat "Han voh...I am fine Zoya, sorry mera dhayan kahi aur tha... "Bolo Zoya, what were you saying? Kuch kaam tha? Iasked. "Uffo Aditya, kuch kaam hoga tohi bula skte hain kya? Zoyareplied irritated. "Uhh Nahi Zoya, I did not mean it that way, bolo toh kya baat hai? I tried pacifying her and suddenly she gets all excited,"Aditya, everyone has planned a trip to Varakala this weekend. I just came here to inform you that we will be leaving Thursday evening, long weekend hai na...maza ayega and we will return back Sunday evening. "Varkala? Zoya, I am not interested, you guys go and have fun... I replied not really wanting to go anywhere. It is true that I like spending time with Zoya, but I still am not much fan of trips, I prefer being alone and relax in my room over the weekend. "Areh, aise kaise nahi interested? Humne toh sbko bol diya ki hum jayenge... she retorted. "Han toh ab sab ko bol dok I am not going, tumhe mujhse puchna chahiye tha na, tumhe pta hai k mujhe ghumne ka zada showk nahi hai and mujhe... I was saying but shecut me in between "akele rehna zada pasand hai...I know aap sadu ho lekin har baar aise akele rehna zaroori hai kya? Please Aditya chalo na...aap nahi jaoge toh theek hai fir hum bhi nai jayenge... "Tum kyu nahi jaogi? Please Zoya, tum jao and enjoy karo, tumhe toh ghumna firna pasand hai... I tried convincing her but she instead replied, "Han pasand toh hai but hum aapke bina vahan akele jaake kya karenge? 24 ghante English mein pattar pattar krte hum pak jayenge Aditya, I will be so bored...Please chaliye na!! "Lekin Zoya... I tried to make her understand but she insisted with her cute pout, "Please Aditya...please humare liye..., now how could I have refused to that. So, I agreed and was rewarded with a beautiful smile on her angelic smile "Thank you so much Aditya!! "You are always welcome Zoya but han maine tumhe bore honese bacha liya but you have to make sure I do not get bored, I replied witha mischievous smile. Her smile got even wider listening to that, "Aap fikar mat kijiye Aditya ji, hum pura dhayan rakhenge k jahanpanah ko kisi cheezki kami na ho... We both laughed at that.
"Kya Aditya...aap yahan baithe hain aur hum aapko kahan kahan dhundhrahe the... Zoya told while approaching me. I saw her and smiled. It's the second day of the trip and I am sitting on a stone by the shore, enjoying the cool evening. All others were busy dancing in the hotel near the beach."Hie Zoya...kya hua? Kyu dhundh rahi thi, I thought you were enjoying the dance inside... I said while making space for her to sit beside meon the stone. "Areh han dance vance toh theek hai...but like I promised I have to make sure na k aap bore nahi ho rahe... she replied making me smile, "Pta chale k aap baad mein complain kro toh fr hum kya krenge...hehe... she continued mischievously. "Nautanki ho tum puri I replied smiling. "Han voh toh hum hain but aap bolo aap yahan kyu aagye? All ok? She asked concerned. The moments like these make me fall for even more. I know that she loves dancing and she must be having the time of her lifeinside but still, she came looking for me. Why is she so sweet? "Yes Zoya,All is good...it is just that I like being here, out in open...yahan ajeeb sa sukoon hai... I replied trying my best to explain the peace I am feeling while enjoying the cool breeze and the sea waves. She did not say anything rather just sat along with me and watched how the sun was slowly setting. I turned towards her and smiled. "Chalo let's take a stroll on the beach... I proposed and she agreed. Rest of the evening was spenton the beach enjoying her cute talks. Life was beautiful with this girl beside me.
It is a regular day and while I am working in my cabin, my phone rang. My roommate Karthik has suffered an accident and was critical and admitted in ICU.I rushed out of my cabin and saw Zoya coming towards me. "Kya hua Aditya?Aap itna ghabraaye hue kyu ho? she asked while noticing the tension on my face. "Voh Zoya, Karthik is in ICU and I need to go I replied to her in a haste. I am really worried about Karthik, he is like a brother to me. "Oh god, Aditya...Han please aap jao...Hum chale kya aapke sath? She asked. "Nahi nahi...main jata hun, can you please just inform others about my absence. I will call boss on the way, I asked her. "Of course Aditya...hum sbko bta denge...aap jao...and don't worry about the office, I will handle, she assured me. "Thanks Zoya...Iwill leave now I told while leaving and she calls me from behind"Aditya... I turn around and raise my brow "Aap bilkul chinta mat krna...Allah sab theek krenge...Karthik will be fine...aap apna dhayan rkhna and call me if you need anything...Please... she said slowly and I simply nodded overwhelmed by Karthik's injury and Zoya's care.
It's been a week that Karthik is in the hospital. He is fine and hopefully be discharged in the next two days. I took leave for this entire week that was quite hectic for me but there was someone with me, who did not let me down at all. Zoya... she made sure I was taking care of myself, ate my food on time. Her hospital visits, continuous calls, and messages were all that I needed to keep calm in such a situation. But now I am getting worried, it is been two days since she last called, and not picking the calls either. I remember the last conversation we had: "Aditya, how is Karthik now? "He is fine and out of danger "Oh good to hear... Yes,I was so worried about him "I know, Aditya. And How are you? I hope you did forget to take care of yourself in between all this "Mera khayal rakhne k liye toh tum ho na...Zoya "Arggh Zoya...you there? "Zoya...?? "Huh? Han Aditya...acha suniye,I need to tell you something... "Han bolo Zoya? "Voh Aditya, the thing is... "MR.Aditya... "Yes, doctor? "Listen Zoya, the doctor is calling me, I need to go...Can we talk later please?"Sure Aditya...go ahead, I will call you later. Bye "Bye Zoya.... Now that I recall, I wonder what is it that she wanted to tell me. And why did she not say anything about her taking care of me? Did I say something wrong? "Oh Zoya..where are you, please call me yaar...
It's been 5 days since I talked to her. When I resumed office, I was informed that she took urgent leave and left to her place. Now I am seriously worried. I hope she is fine and calls me soon. While going towards my room, I saw the golgappa vendor and smile appeared on my face. I remember how Zoya loves golgappa and that too paani vale suji k golgappe. "Kya hua Zoya...aisemooh fula k kyu baithi ho? I asked her one day, after seeing her sad face. "Voh Aditya, hmein na golgappe khane ka man kar raha, she replied making all the cute faces. "Han toh aaj sham ko ghar vapis jate waqt kha lena na, isme kya badi baat hai... I replied not understanding the reason behind her sadness. "Badi Baat? Of course,badi baat hai Aditya...Yahan kahi bhi aas pass voh golgappe nahi milte jo humein khane hai...yahan toh bkwas chole bharke dete hai...hmein imli paani vale golgappe chahiye... She said almost crying. "Lekin Zoya...golgappe toh golgappe hote hai na...what is the difference, I said clearly not understanding any difference. "Aap nahi smjhoge Aditya..., she said and left. Needless to say, I searched the whole city and finally found the perfect place where she could have her IMLI PAANI k North Indian style golgapp eand took her there. The smile that reached her eyes was worth all the effort that I put in to find this stall. "Kahan ho Zoya...I miss you so much...Please call me at least I say out loud and sigh.
After almost a week when I enter my office, I see her talking to the other girl. A sense of relief passes through me after seeing her all fine. Slowly as the feeling of relief sets aside, a new emotion takes over me, that I never thought I would ever feel for Zoya. ANGER. I get angry at how she did not even bother to inform me about her whereabouts. I storm towards her and simply grab her elbow and take her to the corner, where nobody can see us talking. She is obviously surprised by my gesture. "Argh Aditya...What are you doing? She asked and I do not say anything and simply stare at her. "Aditya...kyahua? Kuch boliye? How are you? She asked again. "How am I? Really Zoya? Is that what you have to say or ask after almost vanishing for a week without bothering to call or message me? I simply am not able to control my anger and lash out on her. "Voh sorry Aditya... She tried but I cut her in between "I don't need your sorry...just tell me what happened that you had to leave so suddenly and tumne mujhe btaya kyu nahi... "Aditya voh hum aapko btane vale the...try bhi kiya tha but aap busy the hospital me...she justified but that did not seem to calm my anger "Aur uske baad? Phone nahi kr skti thi?, I continued shouting at her which seem to have started to anger her too. "Aditya aap itna chilla kyu rahe hain? Ghar se Abbu ka phone aya tha toh hmein janapada and hum apko btane vali the but ghar pe engagement ki tyari mein time hi nai mila Engagement word caught my attention and I asked "Engagement?Kisi Zoya? "Humari!! she replied and I hear my heart shatter into pieces. I am so shocked that I am unable to reply to anything. How can she say it so casually? Does she not feel anything for me? Does she not see my love in my eyes? "Kya hua Aditya? Are you not happy? She asked seeing that I stood there in silence. "Huh Han Zoya...Congrats...I am happy for you. I told and turned to leave clearly not being able to stand there. "Aditya...Kya hua? She asked holding my hand and I wiped the tears that had formed in my eyes and turned around "NothingZoya...Mujhe kya hona hai... "Nahi Kuch toh hua hai...btaiye hmein...Jabse hum aaye hain aap chilla rahe ho and now leaving like this she told me. What does she want me to do? Should I start dancing after hearing the news of her engagement? "Kuch nahi Zoya...let me go I replied trying to get her to leave my hand. "No Aditya...are you not happy?Humne itni badi baat btayi and you are reacting like this? She asked again and that broke my patience "Han toh aur kaise react kru? Naachna shuru kru? Bolo Kya kru? I replied in anger and she is clearly surprised with my outburst "Aditya... "Nahi Zoya btao mujhe kaise react kru? Kaise react kru yeh sunke k jis ladki se main itna pyaar krta hun use koi farak nahi pdta? Kaise react kru yeh jaan k k jis ladki k bina shayad main ab jee nahi skta voh meri nahi hai...isse pehle ki main use bta sku k main use paglo ki tarah pyaar krta hun, voh already kisi aur ki ho chuki hai...bolo Zoya? btao mujhe main kaise react kru? my confession clearly stumped her and she is speechless and that is when I realized what all I blurted out in my anger. "Aditya...yeh aap kya keh rahe hain... I closed my eyes and replied "Look I am sorry Zoya, I never wanted to tell you like this and that too now. Just please let me go. You don't worry about anything, my feelings are my problem. Sorry again...and congrats ...I really am happy foryou...but just let me go... I said with tears in my eyes that flow down to my cheeks. I just need to leave from there. She left my hand and I just rushed out of there without turning to see her.
It's been a week that I talked to Zoya about anything other than work. I am ignoring her. I know it is not her fault that she does not feel for me the same way but I am not that strong to be the same old Aditya with her. I know it hurts her, I can see it in her eyes but I am helpless. I am sitting in my room and that is when the doorbell rang. I wonder who it can be at such an hour. I opened the gate to see Zoya standing in front me fidgeting with the end of her dupatta. "Zoya...? I asked her in surprise "Hi Aditya...Can I come in? she asked. "huh? Han please come in... "Zoya tum yahan kya kr rahi ho? I asked her the reason for her sudden visit."Aditya voh us din jo hua... Zoya started but I do not want to talk about it. "Zoya mujhe use bare mein ki baat nahi krni hai...please "Aditya...lekin hmein toh krni hai... She tried but I interrupted her again"Zoya...Please just let it be...I don't think I can handle it now...I know it is my problem...I know that you don't feee... She shut my mouth with her lips and I am stunned. I do not know how to react to the feel of those soft lips on mine and I stand there in silence. She clearly mistook my silence as rejection and broke free with tears in her eyes "Oh God...yeh humne kya kiya...I am sorry Aditya...I thought you still love me...so so I just... "Zoya suno meri ...I tried to explain "No Aditya...no it is ok...I should have understood that aap ab vaisa feel nahi krte...Uff hum kitne gadhe hun...usdin bhi apko nahi roka aur aaj pta nahi kya sochke yaahan chale aaye... "Zoya... "actually socha kahan...bas chle aaye...aap itne din se humse baat nai kr rahe the and Irealized what you mean to me...us din hum itne surprised the k kuch keh nahi paaye but aaj socha keh denge and humein laga aap ab bhi humse pyaar krte hain...but shayad hum galat the...aap.. and this time it was me who shut her up. I brought her closer and slammed my lips on hers and kissed her.She slowly snaked her arms around me and I tried to pour all my love in that one kiss. "I love you Zoya...I can never stop loving you I confessed after breaking that magical kiss. "I love you too Aditya...I love you too...she replied and we hugged. Life is beautiful again and this time forever with my angel in my arms.
Edited by sahibasharma - 4 months ago
Topic started by sahibasharma
Last replied by jenshad