Sufiyana Pyaar Mera ~ My musings 29.4.19 The Deciding factors
In life one comes across moments when one has to make choices. Be they be, well thought out ones, which prove to have beneficial resolutions. Or snap hasty decisions, which one may regret in the long run. One’s family usually aids one in taking difficultdecisions. To me the episode, begins with both mothers, Rubina and Zainab ,behind closed doors busily influencing their daughters Kainat and Sultanat ,respectively.
Where as ,Zainab touches upon the fact that one cannot be transparent all the time. Appearances , are kept to serve various sincere purposes. Sometimes its best to cover up behind a façade. Zainab continues nurturing her daughter Kainat in the manner she deems fit as a good mother. To keep a lid on one’s real emotions, for it shows quiet restrain and discipline. To guard one’s family name is certainly seen as a duty, and Zainab trains her daughter to remember that.Fulfilling familial loyalty, maintaining the respected image and good name of the Shah family at all times, regardless of how happy or sorrowful one feels, is a prime purpose engrained by Zainab, in Kainat.Zainab, believes in the tradition, which many families up hold, that family privacy is crucial and what goes on inside the family,must be closed to the outside world. So Kainat's happy disposition should show the world at large, that all is well in the mighty Shah family. Zainab, in a way, also allows to be courteously, familiar with the much sought after visitor Zaroon
Rubina on the other hand influences and uses the powerful hand of faith to manipulate her daughter Sultanat into accepting Zaroon as her husband. Rubina here stands for those believers who use their faith to suit their own selfish worldly gains.
Both mothers, Zainab and Rubina , are also seen to grant some powers and liberties to their daughters, Zainab allows Kainat to wear lipstick so she can realize her femininity, just this once. But the rouge of the lips is predominantly to show the man who rejected her daughter’s,pure, sincere plainness, that Kainat survives,despite the sense of rejection Zaroon gave her.Show the man, her daughter smiles through, whatever life dishes out to her. The brief for Kainat from her mother, is that, keep real sorrow under cover, so that Zaroon realizes that he made a hasty decision, in rejecting her outright. Which seems true, for Zaroon, appears to have refused Kainat ,purely on the basis of face value. Zainab , alongside has a hard donemanner, and what’s more a compliant attitude too. Seems , Zainab accepts, that decision making largely lies in the hands of men. Women, only remain silent and appear unmoved,but still they hope for men to realizethat women too have the right to accept or reject issues in life. Kainat though falls back more on god’ssense of justice, than her mother’s teachings.
On the other hand Rubina recognizes that Sultanat is capable of taking her own decisions. Only those decisions can go against what Rubina aspires for, the legacy of the Shah Sufi legacy. So thismother, puts the weight of a Quranic oath, upon her daughter.
What lengths, elders can go through to manipulate their children into doing what they have decided. Take Mamoon , he too, although disapproves his son Zaroon’s adapted and revised, decision to marry Sultanat, he sees the idea as a worthy proposition thus giving his stamp of approval to Zaroon.
Likewise his son, Manoon too fails to see the complexities created in the fragilethreads of family ties. The true nature of individuals desires, their purposesof life, surface up, eventually, disregarding who they hurt to achieve theirpurpose. Is Zaroon the chip of the old block?
Zaroon’s Sufiyana love makes him defiant in looking upon Sultanat as the girl who he aims to getone way or another. Mind you its hislove that makes him imagine at themarriage party.. soon they both will be going through the Nikah ceremony too. Thebeggars blessings for him and Sultanat , only confirms for the smitten, besotted by Sultanat, Zaroon ,that even the world at large sees them as made for each other. In contrast one sees the staid, silent Kainat and Humza being blessed as a married couple by the beggars. The blessings , are a figureof speech in keeping with the trade,quite without sincerity. Used bybeggars, to coax generosity out of the rich. Mind you, the beggars call, echoes, here too what the men, namely Zaroon ,and Humza aspire for. What the women, Kainat and Sultanat want is kept secondary.
The episode shows, that not all couples are in agreement with each others decisions. Nadeem, clearly disagrees with his wife Rubina‘s motives. The tug of war between his wife and Zainab , over Zaroon seen as asuitable husband for their daughter Sultanat. In fact Nadeem notices Zaroon’s furtive eyeing of his daughter.Nadeem recognisesthe ripples this alliance will cause. That’swhy Nadeem was bold enough to raise Zaroon’s awareness to existing Shah family values and traditions,where relatives show care in treading upon each others toes. Nadeem clearly wishes, rather not go against the alliance Mainjaan has decided upon. Sultanat ,I feel inherits her father’s sensitivity, and thoughtfulness, towards feelings.
I did feel initially by Zainab‘s words in the beginning that in the episode men are seen to make keydecisions and women, only conform and comply. But after, Zaroon narrates his,as Mainjaan puts it ,“middle path decision”. I see Mainjaan as not just the patriarchal head of the Shah family , but also as the revered Islamic scholar , who practices what the holy scriptures teach him.
The one to put the stamp of approval on the Zaroon sought outalliance between Sultanat and himself will not be the two persons involved inthis alliance, but Kainat as the aggrieved party. Mainjaan sees this as a fair requirement. As the alliance, was arranged between him and Mamoon was initially between Kainat and Zaroon and not Sultanat and Zaroon. Well ,in all fairness Kainat too like Zaroon is granted twenty four hours to reach her decision of saying yes or no to her cousin and Zaroon’s marriage. This right to give approval or rejection to Kainat is , in keeping with the equality,and participation of both women and men in key decision making.
What is Kainat going to decide? By far this is a hard one for her to make. Choose between her Sufiyana love,or give it up for the sake of family values? Is she likely to be influenced by her mother? or even her beloved Mainjaan ,in her ultimate decision? Or even Sultanat ? Zaroon’s stance ,Kainat is well aware off, not her! but her cousin;he seeks. Will Kainat be spiteful and say NO.. as what she cannot have, she will not allow Sultanat to have either?? Is Kainat going to listen to her heart? too much is at stake. All said and done, will she leave the matter in god’s hands?.. 30.4.19..Hamlet53.
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