@Marium: thanks for the awesome long comment. how do you even remember all nitty gritties of the update I wonder...what more am doing with your heart? this update is the answer...
@nigah: thanks for being here. Your words made me smile... thanks a ton for sticking with me throughout. @pop77: thanks a lot
@paponecon: why is geet doing this? lets see what bothers her now...thanks a ton..About Aayat, we shall se...
@Kkiran: wow..that was one comment. Loved it...really. when you say things like that, it really makes me proud of my work. thanks.
@_shinchan_: I love your userid. Hmmm.. the famous question..what is botherinng Geet. lets see, shall we? @-SwaSan-: **blush blush** thanks a lot for loving my work. really... you guys are love love love...
@GeetMeet: Not separated. happy???
@bhanu27: thanks a ton for reading...
@mayapari: leap of faith you say...I shall answer in the update!!! Thanks.
@madhubala123: you always read between lines, don't you? and am not complaining, obviously. if at all, it makes me happy. yes, you do lose some things on the way and embrace newer things... lets see if I stood up to the expectations or not! fingers crossed @SANJANA9167: I really do hope that email helps...
@PaintedSky: Long journey it was...wasn't it? thanks a lot for sticking around all these days and for the constant support. I'd be lying if I say I don't wait for your comments... you are amazing. thank you so much.
@maansi25: about the photographs... I don't think it is necessary. Maan had deleted a lot of them remember and that was past. what significance would it have now that they are together? those photographs were just the signs of her arrival in his life. thank you for being here...your words always make me smile. makes me want to write more. thanks..
@gbhat: did I answer all your questions here? of course when Maan is around...things have to be straight forward. you just cannot play with him...glad you liked. thanks
@sumasridhar: trust me when I say i feel the same for stories...some things are just meant to be felt.
@lovepooo : i loved how you put it there...simple yet complicated... because of the very fact that they are mere humans!!!
@December04: Love Comes Softly... Marked and listed. Will definitely check it out.
@TaranaGeet: and yet...I added more details to it. she is missing something and losing something along the way... indeed. ana aarush...yes they have grown in separate cultures and that is why they will always have a fundamental difference between them. How they overcome those...time will tell. Kabir-Aayat...is physical attraction enough? they are from two different worlds and they will have a different world for themselves... not here. But who can resist destiny...will they meet again? lets see thanks for always being there...
@taahir004: I hope I answered your questions in the update. thanks a ton for being here taahir. you have been such a constant support throughout... thank you so very much.
@sdlife19: so glad to see you shoba...is this the end? quite frankly, yes!!! how? as we shall see...
@payal.gupta177: Questions...questions and more questions. did I answer all of them in this? @liveli-piia: hahaha pouting is your right...indeed!!!you commented on each and am so glad you did. that you were here all this time. thanks...
@impoojaverma: welcome back hun... good to see you. thanks for all the comments and congratulations on catching up.
@etrika: thanks a ton. "then you have't seen geet in love..."" a lot of people loved it. did I scare you?? lets see what her fears are... shall we now?
@indiegirl:; you nailed it dear. Indeed...the ending of one phase and beginning of the other always puts us on such wet grounds... thanks for the amazing comment. @uluvmg: thanks for the amazing comment. separation? lets see whats in store for them.
@ALL: I have tried to reply to most of you. If I have missed anyone, apologies people, Do mention in your comments. I know this was uncalled for...but somewhere we had to stop. I had to stop. Questions are welcome. I shall reply to all of them.
@HINAL: babe, you are my STAR. Remember that okay!!!
@Shika: This is for you darling... Happy Birthday Woman You have got to catch up as a return gift now. Okay, jokes apart, I wish you sugar and spice and everything nice... Including...*you know what/o...* You Rock!
90.His Warm Fingers Gently Slipped Between Hers...
Kis Kis Ko Batayenge Judai Ka Sabab Hum...
Tu Mujh Se Khafaa Hai Toh Zamane Ke Liye Aa...
Ranjish Hi Sahi... Dil hi Dukhane ke liye Aa... Aa Phir se Mujhe Chod ke Jaane Ke liye...
He stood in front of her garret and this time, the scene was different. There were police around, barricading the area and lot of people gathered in curiosity. His heart leapt in anxiety as he ran towards them asking whatever in the world had happened. Someone informed him of the possibility of a homicide and that the prostitute was murdered brutally. Panic seeped into him, not because he cared about her anyway but for the woman his heart sought these days.
"When did all this happen and where is her roommate?" he found himself sweating in the cool evening.
"We don't know sir. But all this happened last night."
He curled his fingers into fists and swore profanities at no one in particular. Whatever the lady has done to him? He rushed to the police and after much persuasion he got the whereabouts of her.
Screams echoed in her head and she curled into herself. She had screamed for help and cried and begged and just like every other time, her screams had gone unheard. Her cried had gone unnoticed and the only person in her life was yet again snatched away. Her head spun and her heart rate spiked up, the machines beeped and the nurses rushed in. the pain in her heart was way too much...so much that it spread to her entire body, hurting her physically. She cried and tried to wake up and run away from everything. But nothing could she do to save her friend.
Oh how pathetic she was...
She flailed her hands and legs and tried to wake up some people held her down. She screamed too but yet again none bothered.
"Please let me go to her..."she cried and then suddenly she felt all her energy slowly ebbing away. She wanted to protest but she couldn't. her brain slowly clouded and she felt her lashes grow heavy.
"Please let me go..." her voice drowned in an engulfing sleep and she drifted away into a dreamless abyss.
When she woke up a good couple of hours later, she felt her head spin. a nurse came to check her vitals and that is when she took a good look around herself.
She closed her eyes and let her tears fall. They were the only things that remained with her now. Misha was gone. Just like everyone else. Perhaps, she shouldn't have felt happy about her life. New York, she thought would be a good place. It was up until this incident that she had loved this place. Not anymore...
When she reached her garret, it was still cordoned off. Her heart felt heavy as she gathered whatever she could and stood there, across the road, watching it for one last time.
"Where are you going?"
She heard a familiar voice and gasped. Her eyes widened at the person standing beside her.
His eyes remained fixed at her and she squirmed under his gaze.
"Why didn't you call me Aayat?"
"You have been following me, haven't you?"
Unlike other days, her voice wasn't meek or anything. She spoke clearly; coldly.
"That doesn't answer my question."
She looked away from him, staring at something into the distance, "does it matter?"
"yes it does." he spoke firmly and added, "Why didn't you call me?"
She snapped and looked at him with those beautiful sharp eyes, "and what would you have done? Saved Misha?"
She scoffed, something inside her just turned off. And that coldness surprised Kabir. He had never seen her like this.
"Come with me." He could say only so much.
"No." came her curt reply.
"Aayat do not play around. It is not safe. And you have nowhere to go."
She took a step away from him and glared at him, "why are you doing so much for me? Who am I to you? Why do you even bother? What are your motives? Can't you stay away from me?"
To say that he was flabbergasted was such an understatement. The few days she had stayed in his apartment suddenly seemed to fake its existence. He took a step closer, trying to understand her but she stepped away yet again.
"Don't you dare! Stay away from me. Just stay away!"
"Aayat...come with me please." He softened his tone, "it is not safe for you here."
The distant honk of the bus made her look at her watch.
"It's time." She mumbled.
She turned to leave when he grabbed her hand, shocking her.
She turned and tried to pull it away, "let go."
"Where will you go all alone?" he begged, "Come with me please."
He never knew why he was doing what he was doing in the first place. But he definitely didn't want her to go.
"I don't want your pity." She spat and pulled her hand away form him in a jerk.
"Where will you go?"
"Why do you care? You are no one to me. Get lost."
"Aayat...don't do this. You are angry at whatever happened. Let me take you to my place please..."
The bus arrived and she didn't bother answering. She stepped towards the bus when he held her hand again.
"Why?" he asked helplessly.
"Because I am done with this city. We do not like each other."
And so, she stepped into the bus and off she went somewhere he never knew. He stood there all alone for a long time...long after the bus had vanished and went home. She had stirred something in him, he was sure of it now. She wasn't the scared little girl that he had first seen her. Something was off about her today...the incident had done something to her. And he wouldn't be himself if he forced himself on her. And so, despite a restless heart, he did what she had wished to...
He had let her go!
Pehle Se Maraasim na Sahi Phir Bhi Kabhi Toh... Rasm-o-rahe Duniya Hi Nibhane ke liye Aa...
She sat in the hall with Radhika and Ana and her cousins. The engagement had spread like a wild fire... not that she was bothered but it was overwhelming.
"Geet beta...where are you lost?" one of Maan's aunts called out to her lovingly.
She snapped back to reality and shook her head, giving her a weak smile.
The old lady pulled her hands and slipped in two gold bangles into her empty wrists, "this is for you."
She wanted to say something, deny at the least for the expensive gifts they showered on her but she couldn't speak a word. Everyone was so happy. They planned out the dresses, the jewelleries, the wedding, the food...everything. And she found herself lost amidst all of them. She knew they loved her and that they were excited for the wedding which wasn't even decided yet but all this was too much on her it felt. The world moved at a very fast rate and she felt she was stuck in a moment of time. She couldn't move on.
Radhika came to her and pressed a kiss on her forehead. She had been the proudest of all... proud of her in all sense.
"Ji?" she answered meekly.
She took out a box and handed it to her, "this is for you."
Her eyes widened, "wh...what?"
"open it." She urged with a gentle smile.
And when she did, she found a beautiful necklace sitting there, in all its glory.
"This is beautiful." She couldn't help admit. The intricate work, the design, the stones...everything screamed out royalty.
"You know Maan's dadima had saved this one for his wife. She would have been the happiest if she were here today."
"dadima..." she whispered under her breath.
So many memories hit her all at a time. The lady who had loved her like her own...she was the one who built a hobby inside her...planted the seed of baking in her heart. She was one of the reasons that she had not slipped into darkness long before Maan entered her life. And amidst all this, her mind went back to the thoughts swirling in her. She had come to know so many of his family members and they had so many expectations out of her.
"You have to match Maan in every step of his life child..." one of his old aunts had told her over the phone, "as the eldest daughter-in-law, you have a huge responsibility on your head."
She shuddered as the thoughts struck her head one after other, setting her heart at race.
"You have to be at par with him...both inside and outside..."
Everyone expected so much out of her. What if...
The what ifs always existed in her life. It came in different forms and in different ways. She had not been able to focus on anything. Maan had come to her place and she had been so zoned out. She understood that too but she couldn't help it. Now that she was at the estates this weekend, she grew more restless. There were so many people at home... so many congratulating them, gifting them, showring their blessings and it suddenly started suffocating her.
His warm fingers gently slipped between hers and gave her a gentle squeeze. That is when she realized she had been standing in the kitchen, heating up food for everyone, spaced out.
Her blank eyes worried him. He gently traced her cheek with his free hand and watched her tremble just with that.
"What happened, love?"
She looked to the ground and then looked back into his eyes, gently shaking her head.
"Geet, what is bothering you?"
"Kuch nahi." She spoke meekly and turned her attention towards the curry that she was heating up.
"We haven't been able to spend some time together I know..." he spoke and then sighed in defeat, "is that what you are worried about? Hmm?"
He watched her take in a long breath and look at him with a smile.
Oh how fake it was...
But he didn't say a word.
"I...I am fine Maan. Just a little anxious with so many people at home..."
He looked deep into her brown eyes, trying to confirm, "are you sure it is only that?"
She quickly looked away and tried to concentrate on the food, "Umm. Yeah. Yes"
Before he could probe her further, she pulled away her hand from his and walked towards the dining with the pot in her hands.
He sat in his study, with his laptop. It was way deep into the night. Everyone had gone to sleep. His little storm was raging inside. he could tell that...anyone could tell that. He had asked her a hundred and one times and he had given her time and space too. But his endurance was fading now. And watching her blatantly lie on his face was something that irked him. If she didn't open up to him on her own will, he'd make sure he forced that out of her. He opened the drafts folder when he had written that email and not sent to her. Yes, he had not sent because he had wanted to give her space. But not that she wasn't yielding, he realized it was time. After a quick edit, he pressed the send button and went back to his table to wind up for the day.
She hadn't been able to sleep. Thoughts kept her awake now. She watched Ana asleep and quietly got up, pulled out her laptop to finish any work that remained. It was purely a distraction and she knew it well too. But what surprised her was the email from Maan a few minutes ago.
She read the subject and felt something churn inside her already. Quickly, she opened the email and went through what he had say.
Subject: Are we really over with this?
Now that I have your attention, you must know that there have been a few things in my mind that I want to talk to you about. Remember, when you had once asked me why the weeping willow is called so? When you asked if I had ever felt something slipping right out of my hands and am not able to hold it back? Today I know. Weeping willow is called so because the tree mourns for every loss that the world has ever seen. And now I feel that I am losing something... something that is slipping right out of my hands and I am not able to hold it. What have we come to Geet? Where did this start and how this is ending? Are we done with this? Whatever that is between us... love, friendship, attraction, affection, respect... whatever that has endured till date!
And what are we going to share now? Does it scare you? I see you fighting with yourself at times. Lost in your world. And you are hiding it from me. Are you scared? Tell me if you are, love, for I am not able to sleep anymore, thinking what you might be going through. I know this engagement is a big thing for you. And trust me, it is for me too. More so because now I don't know what you are thinking. Every night I think of sleeping but I can't. I keep staring at the ceiling and ask myself, what had become of us? Are we giving this up for something new? Are we really over with this...whatever we had shared all these days? Do you feel the same Geet? This feeling of losing something... slowly, so slowly that it becomes an excruciating experience. Something that is happening which you don't want to happen... yet you are too helpless to do anything about it? Are you able to sleep little storm, knowing what tomorrow brings for us?
You had said that evening that you cannot let go of me. Trust me when I say I am the one who needs you more. Are you still scared Geet? You don't speak more now... we don't speak more now. Something has changed and I can feel it. Every time I look into your eyes, I find questions...numerous of them. Tell me...please speak to me.
I tried to find answer to your questions but I failed. and every time I failed, one question always popped up in my head. Oh, how did I ever fall in love with someone like you?
P.S. I have asked you numerous times now and you do not yield. I know there is something and yet you do not find me worthy enough. If whatever problem that bothers you is bigger than you and me or "us" for that matter, I believe we should just break it off for the better.
Yours Forever, Maan.
If she had only been at peace... if only. Nothing registered in her mind except the fact that he was breaking it off. Her heart stopped beating all of a sudden and then squeezed to ooze out blood. It was like the time had stopped only to prolong the ache that she felt simmering within her. Ana was asleep...the whole house was asleep and here he was talking of breaking up with her!!! Tears clouded her eyes and in the next moment she found herself running towards the study.
What if...he really wanted to...
It was going to happen all because of her... yet again. Doesn't he realize how much he affects her now? How will she survive after this? The jinx was back after all...
He closed the last of the files and decided to leave when he heard the door open and she came rushing like a storm.
She stood panting a few steps away from him...her hair dishevelled, her eyes red and her breaths uneven.
"Geet..." he called out painfully seeing her so and the next moment she marched up to him, grabbing him by his collars and questioning the authenticity of that email.
"how could you do this to me Maan?" tears ran down and she didn't even make an effort to wipe them away. He was not even surprised to see her so vulnerable. And so, he let her be.
"You promised me, didn't you?" she screamed, "you promised me that you are going to be my "forever"..."
He didn't even hold her back.
"then why???" she broke down, "you can't do this to me Maan..." she trembled in her agony, "if you knew you had to leave, why did you make me believe in you? I was happy just the way I was. Why did you change me and then pushed me back? How could you do this to me?"
She screamed and cried and when she thought was going to push her away, he gently held her hands and pulled them away from his collars.
"Look at me Geet..."
She shook her head, burying it down. Her cried turned into hiccups now.
"Shhh...Geet", he called out very gently, "I am not going anywhere. I am here, with you."
"You...you are lying." She sobbed.
"Look at me little storm.." he left her hand and tipped her chin make her look at him.
He was smiling...she was confused.
"I am not going to leave you, do you understand that? I am not going anywhere."
He gently wiped away her tears with hands and then wiped her face dry with a paper napkin. She didn't say a word amidst all that and kept staring at him, sniffing.
He cupped her face, burying his fingers into her dark curly hair and pulled her closer to him, "I am not going to leave you. No matter what. Do you understand?"
He asked her firmly and she couldn't even deny. If at all, she nodded, albeit softly.
"Now, tell me what is it that bothers you. Why are you not yourself?"
She looked down again, contemplating whether to tell him or not and he yet again tipped her chin, "do not look away from me Geet. We are in this together. We are going to deal with it together."
When she didn't say anything, he asked her, "What matters to you the most Geet?"
"Hmmm?" she could say only so much.
"Is what bothers you more important than what we share?"
She blinked a couple of times and felt his breath falling on her cheeks.
"tell me... are your troubles bigger than us? If so, then I shall step away..."
"No..." she couldn't even let him complete and hugged him tightly, "No...don't let go of me please."
He pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead, "then tell me please...what bothers you. We will deal with this together."
She remained limp in his arms for a while or so when she felt him part her away. She cringed at that and the next moment she realized she was up in his arms and they were walking out.
She gasped, burying her head on his shoulder, "Maan...where are we going?"
"Shh... you will see."
It was strange for her...to walk out of the study like that. She wondered what was in his find up until the moment he placed her on her feet and she looked around.
White and grey walls greeted her into the huge room. The floor to ceiling bookshelf in one corner welcomed her. The huge bed remained pristinely white, untouched and the curtains danced to the summery breeze of the Big Apple.
"Isn't this your room?" she took a look around and looked back at him.
"Welcome to my life Geet." He smiled and gently pinched her nose, "I wish to share my life with you little storm... can't you just share your worries with me?"
She was at such loss of words now. She had hardly been to his room before. Not because she hadn't got a chance but more so because the study room had engulfed them in their togetherness.
He pulled her by her hand and made her sit on the bed. Kneeling in front of her, he held her hands and enclosed her palms within his.
"tell me now."
She looked at him, not knowing what to feel...happy? Overjoyed? Or just cry he eyes out for the love he showers on her. His expectant eyes awaited her. She took a sharp breath in and bit her lips.
"I... I am scared maan."
"Of what? Us?"
She shook her head in denial, "No. not Us. I am scared of myself."
He didn't say a word. He let her come into a flow which she did. Her eyes focussed on the criss-cross design on the carpet.
"I am scared of letting you down. I mean... I want a life with you Maan... but I am scared. You are like the sun. bright and so big. What am I? What if I am not able to match up to your brightness? I am scared... what if I let you down?"
The winds dropped and silence prevailed.
"everyone expects so much from me. What if I let them down?" she pulled her hands away from his hold and cupped his face bending down, "what if I lose myself in your brightness?"
She could hear his long breaths now. He was thinking, she could say.
"you have a big world out there... I don't want to let you down and yet I am scared...what if I really mess up? What if I let you down?"
She looked at him, searching for an answer and he took his own sweet time to reply.
"then... then I shall come back to get you. Geet, if you ever let me down, I am going to hold your hand and pull you up. It is as simple as that."
He watched her eyes grow big in surprise as if she wasn't expecting such an answer.
"isn't this what a relationship means? We are in this together. If I fall, you have to hold me. I am not perfect either... understand the fact. It is not only you... Even I am flawed. Everyone is. We will learn together and grow... won't we?"
"You have to voice out your worries Geet. Tell me if anything bothers you. Else, how will I know that this is the time when you need me? The same applies on me too. Would hiding anything help?"
She shook her head in denial knowing well what havoc it created in her mind when she had let her worries rule her head.
She leaned in and pressed her mouth over his, conveniently shutting him up for good. He was taken off guard at the sudden kiss but then her lips curled into a smile when she felt his lips brush against her and his fingers slide into her hairs.
Ohh dear Kanha...why do I trouble him always?
She asked herself as she pulled him closer to her. She and been anxious as hell... and she wasn't ashamed to admit it either. Everyone expected a lot out of her. And she was still scared. To love Maan was a different thing altogether... to be a part of his world was another thing, an entirely new dimension. She knew she wasn't ready for it all... but he also knew that she would learn.
His tongue darted out to taste the fiery delicacy that she was and suddenly everything was too much on her. She felt herself sliding down and then suddenly she she was lying on his bed as he slowly covered her up with his body.
Countless number of times had been together, lying close to each other. But this time it was all so new, all so different...all so thrilling. a breathless kiss later, she felt him part only to find his lips on her neck, kissing her slowly, softly yet so passionately that she could only let out a moan.
"Maan..." she gasped and let her fingers lace with his on the side. She breathed uneasy as his kisses now went back to her lips.
She kissed him hard this time, only to feel his entire weight rest on her. She let out a slow deliberate moan of pleasure feeling the hard contours of his body fall against her soft skin. Never had she felt this pleased by their intimacy than this night.
When he parted and raised his head to look at her, he found her face flushed with emotions and her eyes drugged.
"Geet..." He whispered.
"Ummm..." was all she could say, panting.
"Do you realize what this is leading to?" he asked breathlessly.
"Hmmm..." she cupped his face and pulled him down for a quick hard kiss.
Slowly focussing her gaze on him, she let her fingers run across his hairs, making him sigh. The heaviness of her body was working its way into her. Something churned in the pit of her stomach and then melted. She realized, her body was reacting... and this physical aspect of their relationship had started to surface. Not that she had never felt like this before in his vicinity... but it was so overpowering today that she couldn't ignore.
"Do you want this?" he asked after a long pause.
How could she deny now? She knew she couldn't let him go when she had read that email then how could she let him go now?
"More than you could ever imagine."
She surprised him a little with her bold answer. His hand gently pulled away the sleeve from her shoulder, trying to intimidate her. But she had come a long way from there. She didn't even flinch. She looked at him boldly, challenging him to go further if he could.
"We cannot go back after this" He warned.
"I don't want to." She didn't avert her gaze.
He kissed her one last time and pinned her hand above her head.
"Marry me Geet." He spoke point blank.
She was taken by surprise for a moment and then she relaxed.
"And I thought you had asked me to marry you the day you made me wear this."
She giggled and showed him the ring finger that still held the red ring.
His lips curled into a smile, "that I did."
He rolled over to the other side and brought her into his arms. She, very boldly, placed her head on his chest and pressed a kiss on the back of his palm that she was holding.
"I never thought I would feel so happy ever again" She confessed.
"Are you happy now?"
She closed her eyes and snuggled closer, "Yes. I am. Happy."
-------------------------------------------------------------- THE END!!!
>>What happened to the other characters... that we shall see.
>>Is there an Epilogue? Yes, there is. I will try to put it up by tomorrow.
>>To all the lovely readers out there, here I sign off...Adios ladies and gentlemen. Until next time!!!
>>Okay, that was a bit too dramatic. But thank you lovely people. You have been a great audience. This was one of the most ambitious journeys that I have taken... you guys are just amazing. Thanks a ton for being with me all the day... bearing with me and waiting for me. A big shout out to all of you... love you guys.