FF: Unnamed (chapter eight updated)

QueenKordeilia thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
Here's my take on the 'Manu and Preet are two different people' prompt.

Now, to those of you who have already read my other works, I must warn you that the style of writing I've used in the first chapter is very different to my usual style. It's more like watching an episode than reading a story so there's no getting into anyone's heads besides the 'monologue thoughts'. It was pretty difficult to write since I am so used to describing character's thought processes as well their feelings at every turn. I might revert to my usual style of writing if this doesn't cut it for me.

Character background (sorry, no pictures):

Manpreet Hundal - Born and raised in Gaguwal. She and her father live in a small house near the residence of her maternal uncle. The closest mother figure she has is her aunt. She's got a few cousins too albeit she doesn't get on very well with them. Father and uncle are very traditional (read sexist) and don't approve of Preet being friends with boys. She's not one to sit idly and watch life go by so she goes out to do little jobs here and there which is how she knows Manu; he pays her to help make arrangements whenever the Pawanias have a function.
Preet has just turned eighteen and she knows what's next on her agenda, according to her family. Sometimes, she thinks it'd be nice to get away from her controlling family, but other times, she worries about ending up in a family even more controlling than her own...
*Please note that Preet belongs to the Sangwan clan in the sense that she lives in their territory. It's not her clan (in terms of patrilineal lineage) but it was her mother's. Therefore, any perceived relationship between her and any Sangwan is not seen as incest (due to gotra issues).

Manpreet Singh Pawania - ordained as the Shah of the Pawanias since birth due to the fact that he's the only son of the late former Shah, Charan. He's the apple of his mother's eye but his relationship with her has been somewhat strained ever since he tried to help his late sister, Simran, to elope. He doesn't like the way his mother treats his other sister, Gunjan, especially when it comes to her marriage with Aman but he knows the Pawania reputation is just as important as his sister's happiness. The crossfire which killed Simran still haunts him, in more ways than one, one of those reasons being the subsequent disappearance of his childhood friend, Raj.
Manu's often quick to bring up the grisly end of star crossed lovers Simran and Raman whenever another Bajwa-Pawania pair are found out but no one - even his mother - knows just how well he knows the pain of loving someone from the enemy clan...

That's it for now!

EDIT: Ash.raje17 wanted me to make an index of the characters. I'm not sure if she meant ALL of the characters but I'm assuming she just wanted a list of the characters I created.

Tanuja Bajwa - Manu's love interest. From the Bajwa clan. Has known Manu since he was eight years old; they went to the same school. I'll add the full backstory once it's been revealed during the course of the story.
Chetan Hundal - Preet's father
Manjeet - Preet's maternal uncle
Nimrit - Manjeet's wife
Ratan - Manjeet's daughter
Simrit, Kiran, Suman  - Nimrit's sororal nieces
Munni, Vaani - Nimrit's fraternal nieces
Charminder Sangwan - Shah of the Sangwans, the clan Preet belongs to*.
Tekbir Sangwan - Charminder's nephew. Since Charminder has no children, he's next in line to become Shah of his clan.

~~~~~

Index

Edited by QueenKordeilia - 6 years ago

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QueenKordeilia thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Chapter one


"Gunjan Didi, where-" Manpreet Hundal, more commonly known as Preet, stopped short when she walked into Gunjan Pawania's room to see said woman wrestling with her younger brother. 'Umm, okay...' she thought as she cleared her throat, subconsciously wringing her hands together.

Manpreet Singh Pawania turned around with a start, giving Preet an awkward look before turning back to his sister. "Didi, come on, you have to get ready!"

"I'll kill that Aman Pahuja!" Gunjan slurred, attempting to push Manu away but failing miserably. She was no match for her brother, an eighteen-year-old man who was at least four inches taller than her and was far stronger than her. "I'll never marry him! Never! I refuse! How dare he-"

Manu helplessly turned back to Preet, tipping his head as his eyes conveyed a silent question. "Auntie Ji is looking for you both. She sent me here to get Gunjan Didi."

Things only seemed to get worse as Gunjan fell limp in her brother's arms before collapsing on her bed. Without having to be asked, Preet set about putting the covers over the semi-conscious woman as the Shah of the Pawanias released a long-suffering sigh.

'What do I do?' he asked himself as he began to pace the room. He shook his head.

"Shah Ji?"

Without turning around to face his companion, Manu shook his head before saying, "Mummy will kill us if she sees us like this. I can't take Didi outside in this condition... It will be an insult to our family..."

As Manu carried on muttering, Preet's gaze fell on one of the suits laid out on the bed. It was one of Gunjan's more modest suits, the more modern and, perhaps, revealing ones stowed away in the wardrobe. Casting a glance towards the stressed-out man in the room, she picked the red suit up and headed towards the bathroom.

"Preet?" Manu called out, catching on to the plan quite quickly. This was in no way the ideal solution to their problem but they were running out of time. "Are you sure about this?"

"It's the only way," Preet replied after exiting the bathroom, now clad in Gunjan's outfit. She left the room as Manu rushed to his sister's side.

"Didi, give me a call when you feel better," he said softly, "Okay?"

He got a grunt in response before he left the room, intending to catch up with Preet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Manu guided Preet towards where Aman Pahuja was sitting. The petite girl visibly tensed before sitting down next to her not-fiance, subtly tugging her veil to ensure that it would stay over her head and conceal her face, her true identity.

As the Pahujas started talking to 'Gunjan' and the priest, Amba Pawania signalled her devrani, Raavi, to fetch her devar, Jagan, before looking to her other side.  Her son was standing next to her, looking every bit the perfect and proud brother; his back straight, his head held high, and his hands folded behind his back. The likeness to his father was uncanny. It was almost enough to make her forget that her children had been late to the Roka. Almost.

"Where were you?" she asked, her voice betraying no emotion. "You're a lot later than expected. I had to stall the Pahujas."

"Mummy, you know very well that Didi isn't happy with this alliance," Manu answered smoothly, his eyes never once leaving the shrouded figure sitting in his sister's place. "It was a challenge getting her over here. Underneath that veil is a tear stricken face."

"Where's Preet?" the Mother Shah Ji questioned. For lack of words, Manu merely shrugged. Amba shook her head before taking a coconut from Raavi Pawania and holding it out towards Aman. "Aman Puttar Ji, take this and place it into Gunjan's hands."

Aman took the coconut, looking at his mother when she began to speak. "Once the ritual is complete, you'll become bound to each other for seven births."

Preet shifted, her discomfort obvious only to Manu as she held her hands out in Aman's direction. 'What a mess! If I take this coconut, my Roka to Aman will happen!' Before Manu could intervene, Aman moved the coconut towards Preet's outstretched hands. In the blink of an eye, she involuntarily moved her hands away when she saw Aman release the coconut, bracing herself for the inevitable storm just before Rajveer Singh, the wedding planner, lunged forward and caught the coconut.

Unaware of who exactly had caught the coconut, Preet sat still as the coconut was gracefully placed into her hands. Manu watched on in silence, eyes flickering between Preet, Rajveer and Aman. Amba's fists clenched and unclenched as she glared at Rajveer with wide eyes whereas Mr Pahuja looked unhappy.

"Good thing I caught it," Rajveer spoke up, his voice making Preet jump, "otherwise everything would've been ruined!"

"How could you touch the coconut?!" Amba demanded, looking like she was at her wit's end. "Do you even understand what you've done?"

"But Auntie-"

"Would you like some thandai?" Raavi offered, throwing Manu a wry smile as she did so. Manu nodded in thanks before beginning to calm his mother down.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Not long after the Roka was over, Manu stood by as the Holi party became a battleground for psychological warfare between the Pawanias and their longtime adversaries, the Bajwas. Jagan and Raavi made an embarrassment of themselves on the stage, dancing like two drunk fools, and Harjeet Bajwa openly mocked them, but Rajveer jumped onto the stage and began to handle the situation. Manu looked over at his mother to see her spilling thandai on the floor, right in front of Mohini's face, the look on her own face indicating that she was very proud of her actions.

'If you can't beat them, join them,' he thought to himself as he spotted the crazy local inspector.

Now dressed in her own clothes, Preet scurried towards Amba, a somewhat worried expression on her face. She frowned, halting when she spotted Manu handing the inspector some money while pointing at Rohan Bajwa. She raised her eyebrow, about to approach the young Shah when Rajveer blocked her path.

She looked up in annoyance when Rajveer blocked her once when she attempted to sidestep around him. "Where are you going? You look stressed. Is there a problem?" She rolled her eyes, making no effort to hide how unimpressed she was by his lame pick up lines. He continued to speak, none the wiser. "I m Raj. What's your name?"

Preet opened her mouth, finally about to reply when Balam Pichkari began to play. Rajveer grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the stage, spinning around when she shrugged him off.

"What on earth do you want?" she muttered in askance, her eyes once again trained on Manu, the inspector and Rohan.

"A dance," he simply responded, holding his hand out to her. She eyed it for a moment before pushing past him and hopping onto the stage. He joined her for a dance.

Following the dance, an extremely drunk Rohan jumped onto the stage saying, "Now, watch the real hero's entry!" He proceeded to fall about the stage, drawing an amused look from Preet and a horrified one from Rajveer.

Manu, who was standing next to his mother, shared a smirk with her. Harjeet stood by, shaking with anger, whereas Mohini tried to calm him down, glaring at Manu when he winked at her. Leaving Rajveer where he was, Preet walked away and joined Amba...

Edited by QueenKordeilia - 6 years ago
rani7131 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
Wow your ff is really better than mine.  I loved thisπŸ‘πŸ˜³. Waiting for the next chapter πŸ˜³
QueenKordeilia thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
I don't think it's better but thanks! I couldn't even think of a title πŸ€£ Edited by QueenKordeilia - 6 years ago
rani7131 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
You're ff is awesome I really loved the first chapter.  Btw I loved your new writing style its awesome 
QueenKordeilia thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
If you like my story then give it a like! Lol, just joking (not really). So it's going to be 40 chapters, yes?
rani7131 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago

Originally posted by: QueenKordeilia

If you like my story then give it a like! Lol, just joking (not really). So it's going to be 40 chapters, yes?

Gave it a like.  πŸ˜†. Yes it's going to be a 40 chapter πŸ˜³
QueenKordeilia thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
Cool. I'll work on making mine 40 chapters as well then. 
rani7131 thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
MODS DELETED Edited by rani7131 - 6 years ago
farnazlove thumbnail
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Posted: 6 years ago
Delia its wonderful πŸ˜› I loved the first chapter...waiting for the next 😊 😊