RIKARA 4S - SILENCE part 1 updated 8/6

PART-1 : THE PAIN.

The whole Oberoi family was present at the party. This time the party was just for the family members and there were no outsiders. The whole O'family were enjoying. They were dancing singing and having great fun. They just finished their dinner and sat by the pool side and started to talk. After a long chat they decided to retire to their rooms. Every one stood up and started to move just then Gauri fainted by the pool side. Seeing her falling down Omkara who was just behind her caught her and made her lie on the floor properly, carefully keeping her head on his ;ap. He tried to sprinkle some water on her face but nothing worked. He started to panic and started calling out her name repeatedly. His eyes became wide, tension was clearly seen on his face. The concern and worry was easily understood. Shivaay asked Om to take Gauri into their room and informed that he would call their family doctor.

The doctor examined gauri and went to meet the Oberoi's  who were waiting out of the room to know about her condition. The doctor came out with a smile and congratulated Omkara and said that she was pregnant. Listening to the news the whole family erupted in joy except for Om. He was shocked, utterly shocked. He could see shivaay, daadi  and anika smiling at each other. He could see his mother's filling up with tears and he could see rudy and saumya jumping and clapping their hands. But nothing seems to touch his heart. He was just looking at everyone but his ears could hear nothing and his heart could feel nothing. All his senses froze with the news. He was brought back to this world by a hug from shivaay and then joined by rudy for a perfect o bro moment.

After shivaay everyone started congratulating him. he just kept nodding his head with a faint smile. Slowly the truth was sinking into him. He now realized that Gauri was pregnant and he was gonna be a father. He immediately remembered that night which they could never recollect. He now realized that they consummated their marriage on that night. He just closed his eyes in disbelief. Immediately he could feel someone pulling him and in a moment he was in his room infront of Gauri, who was sitting on the bed with her legs stretched forward and her back supported by a pillow which was laid against the head board of the bed.  As soon as everyone entered the room they just moved around her started to congratulate her. though she was smiling her eyes were filling up with tears. She was looking at everyone but her gaze always ended on him. she was observing his expressions. Even his gaze was constantly upon her. he could notice that faint smile and confusion and tears in her eyes. After a few minutes everyone left their room leaving the couple alone to spend some great moments together.

As they went out Gauri got down from the bed and moved towards him. She just tried to say, "so that night we... even before she could finish her sentence om smashed his fist on the near by table and went away without even looking at her towards the couch and sat there. He was angry. Very angry. In the past 4 months she has never seen so angry. He would becum angry at her but this was what she never witnessed. She slowly moved and sat on the bed. They sat like that for almost an  hour trying to understand and accept the truth..

Om was furious, angry and irritated. His expressions clearly showed hatred for the current situation. He was hating the position he was at present. Gauri kept looking at him every now and then with the hope of talking to him and know what was running in his mind. But with each passing minute his anger and hatred on his face was increasing. She feared to talk to him in that state. But she felt that all that anger and hatred was for her and was because of her. She even knew that if she tried to talk to him that volcano of anger would explode on her. She can bear that usually but now she herself was in need of support and she cant take those words of anger or hatred from him and probably she was not ready to take the blame entirely on her as she knew that he would initially blame everything on her irrespective of the issue. So she kept calm and slowly went of the room and sat in the garden..

Omkara was in his room. He was frustrated and hated the truth that he was gonna be a father soon. He was angry but not on Gauri but he hated himself. He hated that moment and that night where he lost his control and made a big mistake.. Yes it was a mistake in his eyes as for him physical relationship and to have kids had meant a lot. He never believed in this physical relationships before you love someone. That was the reason why he never crossed his line with riddhima when he was in  relationship  with her in London. He grew up seeing his mom and dad fighting every other day. That was the reason he felt that he would marry or have kids only after he falls in love with her and after she reciprocates the same. He never wanted to see his kids to suffer just like him.  He always hated those relations which were carved out of the interests of families or for the sake of status and business expansions.

But the moment this girl Gauri entered his life all his notions have turned upside down and were broken one by one. He married her in a moment of anger. Enacted a  happy life infront of others and his family for a motive to save his family. Then they became friends and now even before he has fallen in love with her she is gonna give birth to his baby. These thoughts made him furious . He know that he liked Gauri, he is dependent on her for all his works, he misses her when she is away from him but is hesitant to accept that he loves her. His phobia for love, commitments grew more and more as he grew up. He know that the baby was not just her mistake and he doesn't want to blame her for that but he hated the fact that he was the one who made a mistake in that one weak moment which made him stand like this today. He never knew whether he will be able to love gauri or not. If at all he can never love her then what about their baby?? he cant lead a life like his parents and will not be able to make his kids suffer by their separation, so what should he do?? If at all she cant love him and live with him in peace then what about the baby?? such questions were killing him. that was why he never wanted kids without love and trust between the couple but now His insecurities about relationships and love made him more and more worried and angry.

Gauri was sitting in the garden and was just looking at the sky with a  million questions in her heart and eyes.. the tears were making their way out from the corner of her eye. But she could not get an answer. She had only one big question to the God, "Why this happens always with me?? Why is that when ever I feel everything is right u create such a situation in my life which will turn my life upside down? she always promised to herself that she would never force her into his life but now she was unknowingly entering into his life and to an extent where she cant return so easily.

 she was shattered by the news of her pregnancy. It was not because she hated the baby it was because she felt that her husband will not like this news and that was clearly evident on his face. His anger and frustration clearly showed that he wasn't happy with the news and she knew that he would blame her for this though both of them shared a equal responsibility in it. But some part of her heart stopped her from coming to a conclusion as she felt that he was changed and his opinion about her was also changed. So she had a small hope that he would not blame her entirely and would try to talk to her and sort the issue.

She doesn't know whether she loved him or not and even doesn't have the courage to accept it if at all she loved him. She was happy being his friend. She hoped that one day he would accept her and confess his feelings for her and probably that day she would accept her feelings but now the situation has changed and her dream might not be fulfilled forever. Because she knew that as of now she was just his friend and he was not in love with her. And this news would surely make him hate her more as she knew about his issues with love and relationships. Her mind cautioned her not to build any hopes on him but her heart asked her to give him sometime so that he might come up to her and sort the things with her and accept her along with their baby. But the mind warned her against it.

She felt very helpless at the moment. She cant share her feelings with anyone. She was pregnant but she cant be happy as the baby in her womb was not the symbol of their love or the bond they shared it was just a mistake for him and for her she could never decode her feelings. She doesn't know whether she need to be happy that she was having a part of him in her or should be sad that she had to enter his life forcefully.

She knew she was hoping against the hope and waiting here for him to come and talk to her but he did not turn up. It was almost midnight and there was no sign of him. Her mind cautioned that he would never talk to her about this issue and will just judge her but her heart tried to argue that he needed time to accept the truth. Finally she felt that he would be waiting for her in their room and she moved towards their room. But he wasn't there. She just closed her eyes and gulped down the truth and tried to make her heart accept what her mind was hinting at. But her heart wanted an other chance and she went to sleep with a heavy heart.

The next morning as she woke up she has seen me getting ready to go out at almost 7 in the morning. She tried to ask him where he was going but before she could even utter a word he just moved out of the room slamming the door back. She was shocked but her heart asked her to follow and she did so. She could hear his saying that he had an important work and had to go out and clearly told his mother that he would not accompany Gauri for the hospital for some initial tests of pregnancy. Her heart broke listening to those words.

Gauri went to the hospital along with jhanvi, buamaa and anika. Doctor said that she was fine and need not worry for anything. As Gauri returned she could see her whole room decorated with soft toys and dolls of boys and girls. It was a surprise from saumya, rudra, Priyanka and ranveer.  She was happy seeing the happiness on their faces. Though her inner turmoil was killing her inside the love this family was pouring on her made to forget her pain for few moments. The excitement in rudra's tone who is gonna be chachu was awesome. saumya always felt om as her brother she declared that she would have two rishta's with the baby.  Omkara returned to the house at night and entered his room only to find toys all over the room. He thought that it might have been planned by rudra and saumya as he knew rudy only can do such stuff. Seeing all them a small smile appeared on his face. The toys have truly changed the aura of the room he thought and took a teddy into his hand. He was holding the teddy and was remembering his childhood days when he shivaay and rudy played with them. as he was lost in the thoughts gauri entered the room. In his memories suddenly he recollected how his mom and dad infront of them and how shivaay always these two away from the fight. As soon as he got those flashes he just threw the toy hard on the ground and shouted "NO, gauri was shocked at his behavior. He just turned back where he saw gauri standing in shock. He just looked at her and left the room.

Gauri slowly sat on the bed and started crying her heart out. She now felt  that he hated the baby. He was not happy at all. She clearly understood that he hated her for this. Her wish of Om coming to her and sorting the things broke into pieces. Amongst her mind and heart, mind has won the race. Whatever her mind thought was right. She just sat there crying and after few minutes she slowly drifted off to sleep.

One week passed by and om and Gauri never interacted with each other. Om left the house even before anyone could notice him and he returned only after everyone fell asleep. Gauri assured everyone that everything was perfect between them and Om wanted to send his paintings for an reputed art competition and is working on it. During this one week Bua maa and Anika took a great care of her. Her every wish was fulfilled within minutes. Even Shivaay started to pamper her and promised her that he will take care of her just like he would for Prinku. Whole family took turns and made sure that she was never alone. Rudy and saumya made her smile always with their funny antics. Gauri really thanked God for the love she was receiving from the family though she never got that love from her husband. Seeing the happiness in their faces Gauri made up her mind that she would confront Omkara once and sort the things out. She was ready to face all the blame and hatred from him. she even made up her mind and gathered courage to show him a mirror of himself if at all he puts the entire blame on her.

For the past one week Omkara was escaping from her. He knew she was expecting him to talk on the matter but he couldn't. Reasons were many for him. In this past one week he even tried to accept the baby and made up his mind to accept gauri as his wife. But his insecurities and fears made him weak to accept and speak to her. More he thought to get close to her more his insecurities grew. He felt that Gauri might say him that she was forced into this marriage and even she was even forced to bear his child as they did the mistake when they were not in senses. He felt that he was responsible for spoiling her life. He knew that he was not in love with her and hence living with him and this baby  was nothing short of punishment for her life. The more he tried to accept her the more he felt he was gonna make her suffer more in this loveless relation. So he finally made  a tough decision which was needed at that time for him.

Omkara returned late in the night as he opened the door he could see her still awake. He went in changed into night wear and came back to sleep on his side of bed. As he sat on the bed she pulled his right arm and made him face her. He was in a shock. She never behaved so. The pull and her eyes clearly showed that she was waiting for him and was waiting for an answer from him from a long time. Without giving much time for him to react she quickly asked "what do you think about me and the baby? I just wanna know what is running through your mind?? Why are you avoiding me? Do you think that I was responsible for all this? Why are you so angry at me and all other members of the family?? If you have anything against me just say it out. Im ready to bear everything but I need an answer. This silence is killing me. I agree this was unexpected. Neither you nor I remembered what happened on that night and we now know that this baby was the result of that night happenings. I know both of us were not ready for this but we just cant do anything now. We need to just plan the things accordingly for that I need your support. But you seem to be lost.. Why Omkaraji? Why are you doing so??Answer me..

Listening to her questions with a pain in her voice and tears welling up in her eyes Omkara felt very ashamed. He now understood the pain he made her go through during this silence phase. He just stared at her eyes. They were filled with questions and she was waiting for the answers from him. Yes, he had the answer but can he say that directly to her. No, he cant. That was really tough for him and he knew it would be tougher for her. But that was the only he felt right for both of them at that point of time. He knew he was gonna ask her for a mean thing and he doesn't think she will give in so easily too. but he wanted that as he know that only this solution can set all the things back on track in their life. With all this running in his mind he kept staring at her and  slowly moved from the bed and walked towards the window in their room.