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rikara two shots-- confession
I
After 8 months of acceptance of marriage by omkara, the situation remained unchanged. gauri had finally realized that it would never change. It wasn't an abrupt realization, rather it was one that had been growing steadily since the very first time he'd said the words.
"I am accepting this marriage for my mom and family only. I will do all duties like a perfect husband, but in this room and between us this relationship is only sham and nothing else. I will keep this fake relationship for sake of my mom outside the bedroom . but in this bedroom we are strangers. "omkara words had declared the status of their relationship between them first night only. Since then he behaved like perfect husband in front of family and society. But alone in room they were like two strangers who had nothing to do with each other. Love is agony and pain, once omkara had said those words about love. But now gauri was experiencing the reality of those words . loving omkara was like punishment for her. Living so close to him as her wife but his coldness and aloofness was breaking her slowly. It was not like that he did not care about her. He was taking care of her every need, every wish and every demand like perfect husband. But the thing she needed most was his love and that wish would never be fulfilled , she had realized now.
There were words that had been on the tip of her tongue for months and should have been spoken long before now. They were words that she could no longer swallow back; no matter how much it killed her to say them.
She saw him preparing bed for her. As usual daily he used to prepare bed for her and he used to sleep on couch. Gauri turned on her side to lovingly trace his harsh profile with her eyes, yearning to touch and caress the smooth, silky and slightly tanned skin but knowing from experience that her touch would be hated by him. He always maintained his distance from her and avoided her touch. Only during family functions he used to hold her hand or hug her for showoff. She cherished those close moments even though those were fake. But for her every close moment with om was precious. After 8 longing months of yearning for om love, she realized that she couldn't carry this farce anymore. Om was not happy with marriage and her. And she was breaking slowly by om icy behavior.
She could no longer contain the words and they spilled from her lips with desperate earnestness.
"I want a divorce."
He tensed, every single muscle in his body went as tight. before he turned his head to meet her watchful gaze. His eyes were hooded and his upper lip curled mockingly.
"But I thought you wanted this marriage till the end of your life ," he taunted her with cruelty and gauri lowered her eyelids, trying to mask her pain at his bitter words. When she was sure she had her emotions under control, she once again lifted her eyes to meet his dark gaze.
"Not anymore," she managed, hoping the lie sounded convincing.
"Hmmm... "it sounded deceptive. "What happened to those words I'll be dedicated this marriage forever, omkara ?"om said in sarcastic tone.
"Things change," she whispered.
"What things?" He rolled onto his side and propped himself up onto his elbow, resting his head on his hand. She swallowed painfully.
"F.feelings change..." she stuttered.
"I.I've changed..."
"You look no different," he said assessed, his voice still terrifyingly tender. "Still the same gauri, I married. The one who claimed to value this unwanted marriage so much. The one made sure that she got exactly what she wanted..."
And that was when he struck, without moving, without so much as changing his voice.
"The same gauri who got sympathy of my mom and family to make me accept this unwanted marriage." She flinched but she refused to divert her eyes.
"now I want " she tried to be brave but failed miserably.
"Maybe for you," he shrugged
. "But I told you from the very beginning, there would be no easy way out of this marriage . unfortunately you've made this choice and we both have to follow this!"
"I can't live like this anymore," she buried her face in her knees and fought to keep the tears at bay.
"Neither of us has much choice..." he sat up.
Her eyes flooded with tears. She composed herself and tried to leave room.
"Where are you going"
he grabbed her hans to halt her movement. She tensed, shocked by the touch... om never touched her in bedroom. In the eight months they had been married, this was the first time that she could recall him touching her . He leaned closer to her and lowered his lips to her ear. She felt his hot breath on the side of her face before he spoke.
"There'll be no more talk of divorce, gauri ... ever," he told her with a sickening air of finality.
"You can't stop me from divorcing you" she responded bravely.
"You really want a divorce,?" He asked tauntingly.
Gauri was done with being a doormat! She said nothing, choosing to turn and walk away instead. He watched her go, she could feel his gaze burning into her back . She did not return to the bedroom they had been sharing since the first day of their marriage, knowing that she could not sleep there, Not in that room, not anymore...
. She had spent the months of her marriage believing that om would come to love her. She had firmly believed that he would get over his anger at being forced to marry her and that he would go back to being the laughing, affectionate man he was in past . But after all these months she had been forced to face reality, he truly hated her. He hated her so much so that he couldn't bring himself to speak to her, touch her or even look at her. Gauri had finally realized their marriage was a mistake and she had to get out of it. Unfortunately, she now knew that it was not easy. For om, family and his mom come first. And for making them happy he would do anything . he was tolerating this marriage for them only. And he would not divorce her if it would affect his mom and family happiness. As everyone was thinking them as ideal couple. Jhanvi was so happy with gauri and om marriage. She was proud of om and gauri equally. She daily took pride in talking about om perfect marriage life and satisfied that om married life did not turn out like her own. She was so happy with them that she had forgotten her own woes and pain. Jhanvi happiness was enough for om to remain in meaningless marriage. And gauri was painfully aware of that.
"What are you doing in here?" om asked.
Gauri was busy in settling her things in guest room.
"I've decided to move into this room," she informed quietly and his jaw clenched. She had anticipated having this conversation but om was full of surprises today... she had known that he would be upset about her moving out of their bedroom but it was completely out of character for him to actually come thumping on door demanding an explanation. She had expected a cold and controlled conversation about it. He was always a controlled man.
"I can see that," he was pissed . "I am asking why ?"
"I told you I wanted a divorce, so i wouldn't feel right if I continued to share your room as if we'd never had that conversation."
"You're being ridiculous," he dismissed.
"No... I think I'm actually making sense now " she replied.
"And you're still repeating the same sentences over and over again ," he mocked. "This is beside the point. I have no wish to pay to attention to this , it achieves nothing. Come on, we're going to room!" He grabbed her hand and tugged her back toward their bedroom . She was so shocked by the abrupt gesture that she stumbled along behind him.
Gauri was furious when he finally released her hand. They were in the bedroom, facing each other and she glared at him... refusing to be intimidated by his scowl.
"When did you become so forceful ? I never thought you would resort to such tactics..." he didn't like her opinion , not her suave, sophisticated, rigid husband, she saw it in the way his mouth thinned and his eyes flared. He grabbed her wrist and dragged her up against him.
"You haven't seen the real in me yet. I advise you not to push me on this, not unless you want things to get really ugly between us," he was using his whole body to intimidate her, leaning over and into her, nose to nose with her.
"I.I don't see how things can get any uglier..." she whispered.
"You really don't want to find out how much worse it can get, trust me on that," his eyes were boring into hers and her breath was coming in small, shallow gasps. She was suddenly aware of how closely she was pressed against him and felt a betraying flash of heat uncoiling in the pit of her stomach and radiating outward. He could always make her melt.
His eyes were still locked with hers and she felt the sudden change in his breathing and his heart rate... he leaned even closer, his mouth nearly touching hers, their breath mingled and came in jagged gasps. If she moved her head, just a fraction of an inch, their lips would be touching... she couldn't resist and she tensed herself to do just that, when he suddenly swore and stepped away from her. Gauri blinked and felt like someone coming out of a trance.
"Just go to bed," he told her.
She silently followed the order. She was shocked by om changed behaviour. His actions surprised her. First time she saw him loosing control in 8 months other wise he was expert in wrapping his feelings very well.
Three weeks passed. She avoided om presence as much as possible. Om looked as usual indifferent to her. She felt hurt as if her presence or absence was not carrying any meaning for om.
But sometimes she felt his gaze on her as if he was observing her continuously . She shrugged off those thoughts as rubbish. Omkara Singh Oberoi never bothered to even think about for one sec. She was only meant as burden for him as one among all family responsibilities and nothing else . this truth hurted her everytime when someone praised about their ideal marriage. She was in love with her husband. And this loveless relationship and her husband coldness was testing her sanity.
She couldn't leave with om anymore.
Part 1ended.
To be continued...
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