Camlin thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

How funny it is that I am considered a strong, witty and funny woman who has her life figured with a stable job and now, although not so quite stable, body. But, this wouldn't be the most far-fetched truth or reality of my life. When chaos wasn't something I could easily relate to, my life, serene on the outside, is a tumult of deep and staggering emotions and confusions from the inside. It is easy to take up the challenge of loving someone who caught your attention in the first glance. It is more besotting when that someone returns your feelings. No in exact words, but with words enough to covey that you haven't entered the terrifying field of an unrequited love affair. So, when the emotions are at all time high when everything inside screams to be with them when the very temptation of your mind and heart further tempts you by telling how eagerly they want you - you are forced to think what is stopping you?

And then, uninvited, untold the answer comes, the horrifying answer that though you have forever tried to stay someone who has an unrestricted and open mind, someone who doesn't believe in the mundane and what has been taught, someone who has a mind of her own has unsuspectingly become another oppressed who doesn't have the spine and guts to stand up for herself. She has a heart to love, she has all the emotions to feel, however, she doesn't have one thing that would truly make these things count - a will to stand.

Crying each night that you are losing that someone, who has for once made you stop thinking of what the society and the world expects of you to think, but has encouraged your heart to race and your breath to hitch with anticipation because for once you aren't thinking with the conditioned mind rather a raw heart that hasn't been yet introduced to the feeling of familiarity. You related and then you get attracted to the attitude of poles different thoughts and actions. A habit or a personality trait, the walk, the way they run their hand through their hair, the way they walk towards you or watch you with eyes that promise to retain each moment and recount to tease you or remember you when you are not around are things you fall in love with - them falling for these things is a whole different story.

So, in this mixture of society playing the villain and you the defenseless heroine of your own created circumstances, where does the eternal love or happily ever after fit in? Or does it really fit in? A love story in making or another quote that everyone in a modern love story would be able to relate to? Whatever. I desperately hope to watch the setting sun with my love, if not, then a setting sun with a memory and a bitter tinge that sometimes the villain isn't society and circumstances. The villain is you, who didn't stand up!  

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Posted: 7 years ago


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Camlin thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Originally posted by: hotm3ss

I like this essay ... The heart really does want what it wants.

Hi,
Thank you so much. This happens to be my situation though. 😆
Posted: 7 years ago
Love it. 
The title is so very true 
D3viL thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Basically you are 'besotted' that you have found someone who loves you back.


Emotions are at an 'all time high' screaming at you to 'be with him'

 

And the " horrifying untold answer comes" which is that you don't have an unrestricted mind" and " don't have an open mind." And that you don't have a "spine or guts to stand up for yours.." and have labeled the above "no will to stand"


Then you cry each night that you are losing the person who taught you not to give a shit about society and love freely, (but IMO they didn't do such a great job at it .. because you do care what everyone thinks because they didn't do such a great job to convince you to let go...cuz you never really did.. and a contradiction with all that is ...that you have loved and been loved regardless of society and your own self) 


And then you summarise that society is not the villian, that the villian is you, for not having "stood up for yourself".


My advice is:

1. "same old love" would be an apt song choice.


 

Edited by D3viL - 7 years ago
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Posted: 7 years ago
Hi,
Oh My! Such wonderful viewpoints. That you for this guys, . I appropriate them a lot.

 So, its been over a month since I last posted this. Things have changes drastically at my end for the worse, of course, because that is how real life love stories are. They open you up, let you soar and then drop you back to the plain ground with such a force that leaves you scattered - mind, body, heart and soul. I am going through the same. And my only mistake here is, I had fallen for a commitment phobe. And I cannot even blame him for that, since I had seen all the signs of this train-wreck heading my way. He had no beast friends but too many friends. Vague mention of future.  During the final showdown, he wasn't ready to move either way - neither ending things not committing for real. 

The funny part is, a month ago it was I who was wondering if I had it in me to fight the society. And guess what I found ? I could have fought the world for him! Keeping my ego and pride aside, I had literally begged him to give us a chance and all he said is - "Please be happy. I don't want someone else suffering due to my issues" And it's made me wonder, didn't he see my love and desperation? Or he actually did see all of it and was feeding on how generously I was bestowing him with them? I am now left waiting for a single text, single word but there is all radio silence on the other end. 

So, I came back for some advice. How do I deal? Because I know for sure that he feels something. And I want to attack there. I have instincts that tell me we have a future and mind you, my instincts never lead me astray. He is one stubborn asshat and I know for sure he would not make the first move again. Do I leave it? Hang on? Wait? Or  say "f**k this, shit" and take up with all the rituals of a post break move on? 



PS: Oh, all the song suggestions are welcome. I am going blank at the moment. However,"Straboy" I have been listening to on repeat. 
D3viL thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Oh my ! You type in English too!
There is this girl in another post, wondering the same. Women seem to think they are perfect ... and have done everything right  to appease and win thier guy .. but the guy has a defect somwhere , he enjoys to see you chase him or he is incapable of commitment in this case. 

You aren't perfect for him ..not in his eyes. You have a connection and he cares for you deeply but he is not 100% in love and the thing that is holding him back is something that either told you but you have failed to fix or he thinks you arent willing to fix. 

You may be right about the future but unless you change whatever it is you are or doing or not doing that is bothering him about the relationship .. you won't get the commitment. And I think thats applicable always in our relationships .. we always need to be ready to submit ourselves to the other persons wishes desires .. otherwise you grow apart. 

From his perspective you guys have hit a brick wall and he doesnt think addressing it for the umpteenth will make you understand. However he cares for you and wishes you well. 

It's all there in what you have said .. he won't make the first move and stubborn etc. .. ...he has tried the best he can and you aren't giving him what he wants/needs .. you have given him what you want and need. If he was getting his needs and wants met.. then obviously he wouldn't want to leave.
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Posted: 7 years ago


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