I'm back! You guys must really be getting annoyed now... But I shall write!
When I'm mad stressed this is therapy, and I need crazy therapy right now.
Short by my standards... I'm not sure if this even makes sense, but voila!
Not proofread. Ignore mistakes if any..
NOPE! YOU CAN'T...!
Shravan and Suman were headed to a dinner organised by the Tiwari's. The ride was silent until Suman started humming. Shravan looked at her and a wide smile made it's way to Shravan's face.
"What are you humming?"
"A song..." she said miffed for he had disturbed her serenity.
"Thanks smarty, I meant what song.."
"Shravan! Don't disturb.."
"Itna important kya kar rahi ho tum jo disturb ho gayi?"
"I'm thinking..."
Shravan burst out laughing. "Tum... Oh shit! Yeh accha wala tha!"
"What's so funny!" said Suman glaring.
"Tumhari baaten kitni funny hoti hai tumko khud nahi pata hota Sumo..."
"Shut up Shravan!"
"Tum thinking!" And he cracked up again.
"Ha Ha Ha" Laughed Suman sarcastically. "Kitna proud feel kar rahe ho yeh PJ maar ke!"
"PJ? Mai toh hasa!"
"Whatever..."
"Accha theek hai baba, kya soch rahi thi?"
"I don't want to tell you..."
"Arey! Pati hoon mai!"
"Toh?"
"Toh yeh ke pati se kuch nahi chupaate hai biwi.."
Suman didn't respond. Shravan stopped the car and turned to look at her. She didn't budge. "Okay Sumo, since you're being like this, you have left me no choice, na chahte hue I will have to do this.." Said he dramatically.
Suman didn't turn her face but her eyes were trained on him.
"Aaise chup chup ke mat dekho Sumo, taad sakti ho tum, full right hai.." Saying Shravan unbuckled his seat belt, raise both his hands slowly and started tickling Suman.
Squeals soon turned into massive bouts of laughter, which graduated to breathless whimpers. "Shrav... Shravan please.. ahhh... bas .. nahi... stop..."
"Bataogi kya soch rahi thi?"
"Haaannn!" She said with difficulty.
"Hmm.. Okay toh bolo.." Said Shravan seizing to tickle her but still holding on.
Suman caught her breath, "Damn it Shravan, why do you always have to!"
"Cause you're so soft and squishy, it feels nice and when you laugh I feel like wow! Duniya itni masst hai!"
She looked at him with all the admiration she had, "Yeh hi soch rahi thi mai..."
"Kya? Ke duniya kitni masst hai?"
"Nahi.. Yeh ke tum kitni aasani se dil ki baat kar dete ho... akele mai ho ya sabke saamne, na tumko koi darr hai na jhijhak.."
"Uss mai kya hai? Biwi ho meri, lawfully shaadi ki hai.. Mai tumhe kuch bhi keh sakta hoon, and kuch bhi kar sakta hoon.." Said he cocking his eyebrow suggestively.
"Shut up! Just shut up! Tum and tumhare innuendos!"
"Oh! Toh aaisa hai? When I bring these innuendos to life tab toh koi issue nahi hota tumhe!"
"Will you please drive.."
"With pleasure! Cause kya hai na Sumo, tum ab sirf naam ki Sumo reh gayi ho. When the fact is fattu ho tum." Said Shravan knowing all too well he'd hit the spot where it hurt the most. He did a mental countdown, three... two... And... on...
"What the hell do you mean!?"
Yeh laga teer nishane pe, thought Shravan. "Yehi ke tum fattu ho!" He finished smugly.
"Care to throw some light?"
"Well let's see... for starters even if I hold your hand in public you freak out, not that it makes any difference to me but yes you do. When I kissed your forehead that day in front of Nanu you literally kicked me with heel clad feet. An uss din kitchen mai, koi nahi tha.. I only hugged you and earned a fist pump in the torso for it. You've never ever said that you love me in public and to me as well you say it sparsely. Looks like your Sumoness is in me now.. Cause my Sumo was carefree, not this fattu."
"What in the hell! It's called sanskaar!"
"Oh please! Sanskaar my foot! I've seen Mamaji giving sly glances to Mamiji, if that's not enough we have dabbo! So your family is pretty chilled.. And mine has forever been chilled out. And Sanskaar! It's not like we're making out in public. A chaste kiss or a hug is no biggie. It's just you, no guts!"
"Really! You think I have no guts!"
"No baby, I don't think so.. I know so!"
"Fine I'll prove you wrong!"
"Interesting... I don't think so.."
"I will! You just wait!"
"What are you planning petrified wife?"
"Oh shut it! I'll kiss you!"
"Where?" quizzed he pointing at his lips.
"Yes there!"
"When?"
"After dinner?"
"At home in our room is it?"
"No! At my home! In front of everyone!"
"Oh stop it you!" He said snorting. "Your jokes are getting crazier by the minute!"
"You find it funny!"
"It is hilarious my love!"
"You won't when I kiss you!"
"Nah.. you can't"
"We'll see!"
"Yes we will!"
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Dinner was fun as usual. Both the families were now warmer than they were earlier. Throughout the evening Shravan kept dropping hints knowing all well she wouldn't kiss him. And Suman would glare at him for his audacity. She would wipe the smug look off his face. What did he think; she didn't have it in her? She was Sumo! She never really did learn to loose and she was in no mood to learn now.
Shravan saw her talking to Preeti in hushed tones; he figured she was up to something. Oh his feisty little wife. Little did she know he'd love to loose this one. All he wanted to see now was what was the plan.
Post dessert the families found abode in the veranda making merry when Preeti suggested they should play truth or dare. Shravan had inkling of what plan was in play. He was game.
"Yeh toh bacchon ki game hai, tum log khelo, Ramnath chalo ek shatranj ki baazi ho jaye.." Said Nanu.
Oh damn! Major hindrance gone, thought Shravan. He was getting kissed! He smiled goofily and winked at Suman.
"Ji chaliye Tiwariji.." Quipped Ramnath.
The play was in order. Pushkar chose truth; he had to divulge details on his most embarrassing moment, that being one where he had peed his pants of fear when he was 15. It took a while for the laughter to die down. Lalaji chose dare, he had to sing and dance for Kamini. Vandy chose dare, she couldn't fulfill. Cause she was asked to spell the word Pneumococci In her defence it was too much to expect off her. She had a bout of "Mummiji!" but she was okay soon. Shravan chose truth for he knew if he choose dare Preeti would ask him to kiss Suman and for Suman that would be a win win. Not so easy wifey! He was asked to share details of his first ever kiss. Which he obliged to unabashedly. Suman grew red for he threw in the fact that his first kiss was his wife. Collective awwws where heard as Shravan smiled cheekily. Mamiji chose dare surprisingly and was asked to go without talking for an hour. She could shut it for barely two moments, something about Bhagwan ne muh bolneke liye diya hai, to which Kamini added Bhagwan ne muh aur bohot kuch karne ke liye diya hai! The men hooted while Mamaji went into the embarrassed mode. Mamiji didn't understand what had been said nor what was funny. Shravan was having the time of his life. So much for sanskaars!
The much awaited point in case happened. The bottle stopped pointing at Suman. She choose dare. Shravan's smile kept getting wider. Before Pushkar could give her a dare, Preeti did. It was as expected. Kiss your husband. Mamiji whacked Preeti so hard it nearly sounded like a clap. Shravan burst his knuckles. Moment of truth he thought. Lalaji exclaimed, "Haanji haanji kar lo, hum nahi dekh rahe hai.."
Mamiji lost her marbles, "Yeh kya ashleel harkat hai!" Mamaji calmed her down whispering, "Ashleel kya hai? Humne bhi toh ki hai.." Making Mamiji blush.
Dabbo was sent under the pretext of fetching the camera for a family photo. Stage was now set. The elders looked anywhere but them. Vandy, Varun and Pushkar egged them on. Suman got up and walked towards Shravan, her gait confident. Shravan looked at her almost teasingly. Ramnath heard the commotion downstairs and decided to check on what was happening. Nanu followed suit. Suman stopped right before Shravan, he was still sitting but being heighted had it's plus. Suman held his chin and made him look up to her. Shravan gave a lopsided smile as Suman came closer. Nanu told Ramnath bacche bade ho gaye, smiled knowingly and walked back into the room. Ramnath muffled his laughter and followed suit. Lalaji and Kamni sat like Gandhiji's bandars while exchanging looks. Mamaji and Mamiji were still lost in their world.
"Oh kiss him already!" Exclaimed Vandy.
And Suman did just that. She took in his lower lip slowly and then his upper. Shravan sighed into the kiss. He loved this kind of loosing. He brought his hand up to her hair and brought her closer deepening the kiss. Suman realized they had audience and tried to push him away, this voracious man was unperturbed. She did the best thing that popped in her mind, bit him hard.
"Aaah!" Said Shravan backing off.
"Serves you right!" Said she wiping her lips glaring at him.
"So cute you two!" Exclaimed Vandy.
"Why don't you kiss me like that?" Complained Pushkar.
"Arey yeh toh kuch nahi tumhare Lalaji toh.." quipped Kamini.
"Oho Soniyo! Makhna de doniyo! Bas kar jao tussi!" Said an embarrassed Lalaji.
A full-blown discussion broke out, a few exeriences and a few complains were mouthed. This kiss was going to be the talk of the house for quite some time now.
"You lost!"
"I knew I'd loose.."
"Say what?"
"See my little wife, I know exactly what to do to get you to react in a certain way.."
"You! I will kill you Shravan!"
"Can't believe you actually fell for that.."
"Get lost.."
"Oh I'd love to get lost, In you!"
"Shravan!"
"Babe I'm bleeding.. What a place for a hickey.. A little help here.."
"What can I do? Khud hi ruk jayega.."
"Maine suna hai sucking on a wound helps..." He said diligently.
"Only when you've been bitten by something poisonous you fool!"
"And who says you're not poisonous? Since our first kiss I'm hooked! Slow poison ho tum toh..." Saying he bent down in a bit to capture her lips but earned a chilled splatter of water. Suman had dunked an ice cold glass of water on him, the family got more laughs.
"Don't you ever dare me again.."
"Oh I will! You just wait!" Saying he ran behind her.
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That's that.
I don't know why I even wrote this. When mann nahi lagta this is diversion.
However you found it, please leave comments!
Do let me know!
Until next time.
And I promise next time will be a long time now...
Zoya
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