Originally posted by: simisworld
I agree with you. I have actually been thinking of posting something similar. A bit of possessiveness coming from a mother is expected, I can wrap my head around that. But her visceral reaction every time the top of Dev's marriage or a girl comes up with alarming. It's almost a pathological attachment she has to him. And when you take everything into account, I'm not so sure she's such a good mom after all. I understand that certain things in life can change a person to the core. And I would imagine being in her position - 4 young children, no husband, no money, no proper job, and no home - is terrifying. She clearly had to fight against the world to care for them. But despite her struggles, she could have still been a good mom to all her children. For example, that flashback where we see her getting pencils for the kids. She gets 3 (one for dev and one for each of the little girls) but nothing for Neha. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she literally had not even a single rupee left after buying pencils for the kids that needed them for school. (It's possible that she really didn't when you're living hand-to-mouth like that.) But she could have given Neha attention and love. That's free. Instead of handing her a bag of veggies and walking away, she could have done something. God, even a hug, words acknowledging the injustice she was force to do, a lingering look, anything would have likely prevented Neha from harboring such animosity.
But Ishwari acts like she did not wrong and those were just her circumstances. Circumstances were her not being to afford things, but how she doled out love, whether she was thoughtful and sensitive to her children's feelings, those are all things that are for free and the responsibility of a parent. No matter what I cannot forgive her for that.
And all that MIGHT have been rationalized considering the financial situation they were in. She just didn't have the time, energy, or luxury of being sensitive to her children's feelings. Fine. But what's her excuse now? It's not like sufficient time hasn't past. It's been literally YEARS. And it's not like the fear to being poor again exists. They're not comfortable they're RICH. It's not like I expect change in someone over night but this story is taking places years after that phase of their life. And still no change in Ishwari? Still just obsessed and controlling of her children. It's sickening that she doesn't think Dev should have a life. What is wrong with this woman? There really is not justifying it. And although I normally like her, when she has these moments, I truly despise her.
But koodos to the actress playing Ishwari, she does such a great job of being sweet, innocent, torn between love for her brother and indebtedness towards her bhabhi, and even this weird obsessed side of her. Even that is portrayed successfully. Such a great show!
OMG YES! You totally stole the words out of my mouth!
@ topic maker - Thank you so much for making this post! I wanted to start a topic on ishwari - so glad you did.
Ishwari's character intrigues me - she's definitely a very dark shade of grey IMO.
While I can understand that she has faced some excruciating circumstances and dire financial hardship, which will inevitably change a person irrevocably - her possessiveness, obsession with Dev is unnatural even considering the circumstances, not to mention extremely unhealthy.
I do have to blame Dev to an extent here - he doesn't seem to fight for his space or freedom either. Just as he explained and convinced Ishwari for Nikki's sleepover - he needs to start putting up subtle boundaries. Ishwari can not and should not control every aspect of Dev's life.
Similarly to play devil's advocate - Ishwari has brainwashed Dev to such an extent that he can't seem to think about anything beyond his mother's happiness - at the expense of his own hopes and desires. He's spent so much time being his mom's support system, ray of hope for a better life - that he's never paid any attention to himself. It shows in his subtle interactions - he's inherently a good person with kindness and compassion but he's emotionally immature. He acts impulsively with out thinking of consequences - like when he forced Sona out of her job or broke her alliance and then tried to make it up by putting her profile up on jodi.com.
Ishwari is fully responsible for Dev being the way he is. It's sad to see a mother so insecure - how can she not have any faith in her upbringing? Its so silly to see her acting the way she does only because she doesn't want anyone coming in the way of Dev and his responsibilities - why does it have to be one or the other? Why can't he have a personal life AND take care of his family responsibilities? Obviously he'd have to find a partner that understands his responsibilities and doesn't want to come in the way of them - granted that is a variable - but why is he not allowed that option?
It breaks my heart when I see glimpses of the real Dev - like when he casually asked Sona - about her love life - it doesn't occur to him that questions of that nature are personal and its impolite to ask - he's never had time for friends or for healthy normal social interactions.
I don't think Ishwari is a good mom - i know that sounds harsh and judgemental but there really is no pardon for selective love and skimping on affection. So much "love" for Dev but nothing for Neha? I really don't think you can classify Ishwari's feelings towards Dev as true motherly love - its doctored with selfishness - she places him number one because she sees him as a crutch to end their financial miseries.
She's brainwashed him into thinking his sisters are his priority (not saying they shouldn't be) but she's putting their family's needs as his sole aim in life - Dev as a person, Dev's own hopes, dreams desires - he's never been granted the chance to explore that. In that aspect she has failed as a mother. No wonder Neha is so bitter - she has every right to be. Even now Ishwari does almost nothing to make amends with Neha - she still takes Neha for granted - takes her bitterness for granted.
It will be interesting to see what will bring about the realization that she has wronged Dev and has been selfish.
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