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I walked into the canteen with my bag resting on my shoulders lazily. I scanned the place to find an empty seat when a laughter filled my ears. I knew that laughter, it was the one for which I could give away my whole life. Turning around to the source, I saw her.
Sharon.She was sitting with the girls laughing on what I believed was a private girl's joke. A smile automatically came flying to my lips and settled. She gave an expression, as if she remembered something and looked towards Neha to tell something when her eyes caught mine and she abruptly stopped. She kept staring at me and I walked over to her table.
"Hello Ladies! Can I join too?" I asked looking at the girls. When said girls it didn't include Sharon. She wasn't just a girl for a me, She was an angel.
"Sorry Swayam! This is Girls Only table! Better Luck next time!" Simmi winked at me to which my lips went into a shape of O' and my arms went up in surrender to which they all giggled.
"Okay! I will find another table then."
"Yeah! A table away from Sharon! For Now" Neha said and my eyes traveled to her again and I found her lowering her gaze at the comment.
I was wrong. She was a girltoo.
********
After ordering a hot coffee I seated myself at an empty table across theirs from where I could see Sharon clearly.
I was watching her in content as she heard her friends talking about random stuff and occasionally stealing glances at me. Simmi whispered something close to her ears and her cheeks turned red while the gang broke into giggle. She looked at me for a second and the color of the cheeks went a shade darker. I realized I was the reason of those colors. She was blushing because of me.
As this thought crossed my mind, my thoughts revisited the abandoned corridor. Each and every memory was still fresh in my mind like it had happened yesterday. Every touch. Every look. Every gesture. Alive in my memory.
"Can't you and me become Us'? I had asked her with a flickering hope in my eyes.
"No! Never!" She had replied almost immediately as if it was a forbidden space.
It had more than broke my heart that day.
A sound broke my trance and I came out of my reverie. It was the sound of cutlery. My coffee had arrived and was sitting on my table now. I thanked Tambi and he retreated with a smile.
I looked across the table to find her engrossed in talks. They were talking about something serious now. And the seriousness in her eyes disturbed me. I liked to see the mischief in them. She looked at me for a second and I frowned at her and blew out a flying kiss towards her and she smiled with her eyes. They became tender again. Yes, this was better.
I allowed my thoughts to wander again with her tender eyes in my mind. I had seen them before many a times now. But the firsts are always special. And they became even more special when they came from Sharon.
I was hurt. To say it would have been better if she would have let me say something and then rejected me. But even before I could say anything she had spoken those unsaid words through her eyes.
"Flowers? Decoration?" The gang of boys had motivated me enough and I had decided to propose Sharon again. But this was unexpected. Sharon bringing me to a canopy decorated with flowers and lights and only two of us alone I was surprised and happy and hopeful that maybe finally Sharon too wanted to say the same thing which I craved to hear from her. But my happiness and hope both were short lived. Even before I could say anything she had reminded me of my words from abandoned corridor.
"Only I can open the book!" Her words rang in my ears as I made my way to the door which had rung three times. I wanted to tell the person standing on the other side off but I didn't know the shock of my life awaited me outside the door. It was Sharon.
"I hope, I really I really hope you still love me." She had said, and her eyes had been tender and hopeful. Hoping that my love for her was intact, that I hadn't given up on her.
My chest heaved in a soft chuckle as I recollected her words. How could she ask me that? I was her Loverboy for life and she was yet to realize that.
There have been a few phases in our story which had been tough. Which had frustrated me to death. One such time was when Sharon had come back from Delhi after a three months hiatus. I had waited eagerly for her return making dream castles in my head but she came back and pushed me away from her for no particular reason.
"I don't want anything. Not even you." She had said. I was befuddled and heartbroken.
Bad times had always weighed heavier on good times for us. And so the next shock came when Sharon told me she had asthma. I was stunned but it wasn't a good enough reason to push me away. I wanted to stay with her but I did what she wanted. We broke up.
Her wish was my command.
We found moments of happiness here and there. We always did. We never wanted to be in each other's life to support each other but say what, looking back now I realize, let be unnamed, we always were in a relationship. I supported her with asthma and she gave me the one pat of that one person I always craved for, my father.
I can never forget how she fought for me, that one moment when she had barged into the room and had declared in front of my father that she hated it when he shouted at me, insulted me. That I was much more than what he imagined me to be and that she loved me. My father had slipped from his treadmill. If it had been me on the treadmill I think I would have fell on my face. But I was standing at a distance from her agape.
The following months had been the most beautiful and ethereal moments of my life. Each and every memory that she gave me was like the wind. Every time I revisited them they engulf me and gave me whatever I need. Happiness, Love, Strength, warmth. They had everything for me. And it had Sharon written all over it. It made me believe that my love had broken all her inhibitions which had stopped her in the past from accepting me, they made me surreal that nothing could come between her and me and I knew she was My Sharon now.
What I hadn't known was that I was wrong.
Bad times hit us again and this time they were severe. Sharon left me amidst the crowd when I needed her the most. She had denied me as a part of her life in front of everyone leading me to be called a womanizer. The thought disturbed me, a huge lot.
Thankfully, a beep gave the slides of that moment a break. I let out a sigh. A sigh of relief. It was my cell phone which had buzzed. I picked it up and swiped the screen to unlock it. There was a message from Sharon. I frowned and looked over at her to find her looking at me concerned. I couldn't gauge the reason of her expression So I opened the message. It read
:"What happened? All okay? You look disturbed! Should I come over?"
For a second I couldn't comprehend what lead to this message but then I realized what I was thinking of a moment earlier. It must have showed it all on my face. I smiled reading the last four words. I looked up and shook my head. The concern still there on her face. So I typed a reply for her
"I am fine. Don't search excuses to come and sit beside me;)" and hit the send button.
She opened it immediately and reading it shook her head as a shy smile settled on her lips and with a glance at my face she resumed her fun.
I didn't want to think about what happened after that incident in the following months. But had I known the consequences of it, I wouldn't have dared to do the things I did. One of them being not trusting Sharon and the other one contradictory to what I had started to believe she did love me. But the realization of both these things came with a cost, and the cost being a deathbed.
Sharon's deathbed.
A shiver ran down my spine as the scene of that moment flashed my mind. I had almost lost her forever. The hearbeat reading machine already had proved her to be, dare I not say the word.
I cannot explain what I had felt in those few moments before Sharon came back to life as the three words came out of my mouth which she had craved to hear from me. She had confessed me being as a part of her life in front of everyone.
"Now you won't say I am stubborn right?I confess , in front of everyone that Swayam is important to Sharon and I Love you Swayam. I really really really Love you Swayam."
"What?Why are you smiling like that?"
My trance broke with the voice of Sharon and I found her sitting beside me. I looked over at the table across to find her empty.
"Classes! They all went!"
"And you didn't?" I asked amused seeing the playful spark in her eyes.
"No!" She said shaking her head like with mischief in her eyes.
"Why?
"Coz I want to bunk!"
"And do what?" I narrowed my eyes eyeing her suspiciously.
"Race." She said smirking at me.
I raised my eyebrows.
She smiled and said "Let's go and get your bikes."
I was right. She was an angel who turned dreams into reality.
My last wish was about to get fulfilled.
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Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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