AjNa OS: I Can't Get Her Out of my Head

Ajay paced back and forth cutting off Sanjana's call for the tenth time in the past three days. She kept calling back, and he didn't know what to do. Every time he saw it was a call from her he felt elevated and relieved and as soon as he went to go pick up the call his heart would drop remembering Mamaji's words.

"Chahe kuch bhi ho jaye, main Mamaji ko dhoka nahi..." he said. 

Frustrated he turned off his phone again. Rubbing his hands over his face he took in a deep breath. "I hope she's okay." 

He looked around the room and took in another breath. Everything in the room reminded him of her. The bed reminded him of their sleeping arrangements and of how he pulled her off the bed. His drawers were now empty, they once held Sanjana's beloved items. His desk that used to be scattered in her make up and jewelry was now cleaned off. His chair that always had her sarees on it now only held his jacket. His chair, the same chair he dragged her up from only to notice that her saree had come undone. Smiling softly he remembered that moment. Shaking his head he looked into the mirror and froze, he had to stop thinking about her.

"Stop Ajay, you promised mamaji, no more thinking about Sanjana." He said to himself as he came out of his room. Maybe if he stayed away from his room he wouldn't think of her as much.

Avni, Mishri, Utpal, and Ayush stood by Ajay's room. 

"Ajay bhaiya kitne sad hain." Mishri spoke, her eyes welling up.

"Ab hum kya karsakte hain." Avni said disheartened.

"We should help Ajay bhaiya and Sanjana bhabhi." Utpal spoke.

"Utpal, tu pagal ho gaya hain." Ayush said. "Sanjana Ajay se pyaar nahi karti. Hume yeh tak pata nahi ke Ajay ki mann mein kya hain." 

"Sanjana Ajay se pyaar karti hain." They heard from behind them.

Turning they froze to see Naniji behind them.

"Dadi, aap?" mishri was the first to speak.

"You know, at first I was angry that Ajay got himself pulled into a contract marriage. But when I calmed down, I realized it was the right thing to do. He did it for his best friend and Sanjana." Nani said. "And rahi baat Sanjana ki, it is clear in her eyes that she is in love with Ajay. Ajay bhi pyaar karta hai Sanjana se, but as of now he won't say it or recognize it because of how hard he is fighting against it." 

"Par Nani aap?" Avni questioned.

"Why am I standing against my own son?" Nani said with a laugh. "Kabh kabhi adults of the house make mistakes aur agar Trilok mera beta hain toh Ajay mera pota hain." 

"Toh ab?" Utpal asked as they formed a tight circle to make a plan.

"Now we make the rest of the house realize that Sanjana is the perfect life partner for Ajay and perfect bahu for this house." Nani said smiling.

Ajay had been wandering the house for at least an hour and had stopped in front of the prayer room. He had been sitting for 20 minutes not being able to find peace of mind. All he could think about was Sanjana, whether she was alright, whether she was happy, whether she was missing him as much as he missed her.

"No, mujhe sanjana ki yaad nahi aa rahi hain." Ajay said to himself. Lowering his eyes he couldn't help but feel a prick behind his eyes; he was emotionally drained from the past week. 

"Aaj mamma ki yaad aa rahi hain, iss ghar mein pehle aise nahi hua tha." He spoke his mind to the idol, not knowing that Nani, Ayush, Avni, Utpal, and Mishri were spying on him. "Mamiji is my mother, there is no doubt in that," He spoke again, "Lekin aaj pehli baar I wish I could talk to you mom. I feel so alone, so helpless, so drained; iss pure ghar mein koi nahi hai jise main baat karsakta hoon." he said. 

"Pata nahi kyun, I can't forget Sanjana. I know, maine mamaji se promise kiya hai, but I can't stop thinking about her. Itni dino saath mein rahe hain hum, woh meri bohot aachi dost ban chuki hain." He spoke freely into the night thinking everyone was asleep. "But I can't tell anyone about it, everyone hates her here, sab ko aaisa lagta hai ke Sanjana was trying to break the family. But I know her, she wouldn't do that, she had grown to love everyone." 

Sighing Ajay put his hands together and pleaded to God, "Bhagwan, I am trying so hard to forget-please, please help me forget. Please help me keep this promise. Mama-mami ne mere liye bohot kuch kiya hai aur bohot kuch saha hain, I don't want them to face any more problems because of me. Please help me." And with that he got up and went back to his room.

Unknowest to Ajay, Mamiji was right behind him and heard the whole thing. Putting a hand over her mouth she tried to stiffle the sob that was pouring out of her. 

"Mami!" Ayush said running over to comfort her.

"Sab meri galti hain." Mamiji said. "I didn't even try to understand him." She let the tears flow freely.

"Mom isme aapki koi galti nahi hain!" Mishri said.

"Haan bahu!" Nani agreed.

"Nahi maa, my own son is drowning in suffocation, and it is all because of us. Aaj pehli baar Ajay ko Didi ki yaad aai hain. Aaj pehli baar meri mamta ki har hua hain." Mamiji said.

"Ma, then do something." Utpal spoke. "Do something to help Ajay."

"Haan mami, if you support Ajay Bhaiya, the others will have to come around." Avni said pleading.

"Mami, Ajay galat nahi hain." Ayush agreed, "Shayad woh Sanjana se pyar bhi karne laga hain." 

"Aur tumne bhi dekha aur maine bhi dekha," Nani said, "Sanjana supported and protected Ajay against Bhushan and Amar. Woh Ajay se pyar karti hain." 

"He thinks he's a burden on us. How can he be a burden, he's my son." Mamiji cried even more. "And Sanjana, Ajay was right, Sanjana had done nothing but try to help and try to get involved with the family." 

"I just want my son back," Mamiji said, "My happy, funloving, laughing son. He has become a shell of who he was, he doesn't even smile or talk with anyone. Sab meri galti hain, lekin Maa, aap sab sahi ho, we have to fix this." She said wiping her tears. "If you are all with me we can fix it." 

All of them looked at each other and smiled, promising to fix everything together, promising to bring back their once loving family.

Ajay laid down, completely awake on his bed. This had become a normal routine, not being able to sleep at night, not being able to function in the morning. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her face, he saw her tears, he felt her grip on his hand.

No matter how hard he tried he couldn't forget her tear-stricken face as she drove away in the taxi. He couldn't forget the tingles he felt when she grabbed his hand, silently pleading for him to say something. He couldn't forget the pain he felt as his heart dropped watching her go away. He couldn't forget-he couldn't forget her.

Turning to his side he closed his eyes trying to get her face out of his head. "Sanjana," he whispered; he remembered her question, "Mujhe itna bura kyun lag raha hain!" He wondered. 

Mujhe itna bura kyun...his thoughts trailed off as he finally fell asleep in exhaustion.

~The End~