Limerence : Part 1
The pelting rain, the stormy wind and the
endless Delhi traffic, only added to Khushi's woes. She brushed away the
traitorous tear that had precariously run down her cheek. She hated to cry...
something that she had grown up despising, considering the life she had lived. The
cool nip in the air made her shiver. Her partially wet clothes, the dripping
dupatta, only added to the despair. However, her mind was far away from this
physicality of life.
"Oye chamiya... zara idhar bhi toh dekho!!"
"Such a beauty and such arrogance. It
would be interesting to tame this lioness."
Angry tears pricked her eyes as the snide
comments reverberated in her ears. It wasn't the first time and would definitely
not be the last. After shifting from Lucknow to Delhi, there was an illusion in
her mind that things would get better. However, her beliefs had been shattered
yet again, when their neighbourhood was abuzz with gossip about her existence.
It had taken all of her courage to face the offensive stares and the malicious
comments, and walk on the streets of Laxmi Nagar... their officially new
neighbourhood.
Her belief in kindness and compassion
existed, only because of a few people like Kamla chachi, Sharma uncle and Lucky
the mechanic. These were their saviors in the troubling times of moving from
their home in Lucknow to Delhi. At the fragile age of eight she had made this
move along with her mother, sick and tired of the never-ending taunts back
home. With a little help from her distant mama, her mother had managed to rent
a small house in Laxmi Nagar and then with the help of Sharmaji, had managed to
get a job as a tailor in a small shop in the same locality.
Being exposed to the innumerous colourful
threads, fabrics and a million varied stitching styles, Khushi had learned
quickly from her mother... assisting her when time permitted. Her mama funded her
schooling and college, as she made sure to focus her energies on the task at
hand, instead of looking at all the disparities in her life. Realizing how
important money was for them, she had taken up a part-time job at a small
design studio while studying in college and mastered the art of various
hand-done embroideries like, chickankari, phulkari, kantha, sheesha, zardosi
and kashmiri.
The auto abruptly braked in front of a
tall glass building, as Khushi was brought out of her reverie. The tall glass
structure of AR Deisgns, stood proudly in front of her. The heavy downpour
could not deter even an inch of its solidarity and majestic aura. Khushi sighed,
as she paid the autowala and rushed inside the building. Swiping her access
card at the entrance, she quickly made her way to one of the service elevators,
eyeing the special elevator, reserved for the owner and his special guests.
She had always seen a huge number of
models, celebrities and extremely high-profile people loitering around it. That
lift was banned for the regular staff, who worked from the first floor to the
eleventh floor. The twelfth and thirteenth were exclusively reserved for the
owners of AR Designs. Being one of those, who worked at the bottom of the
ladder, Khushi did not care of how huge and popular AR Designs really was. For
her, all that mattered was that it paid well and if things worked out, they
could easily move out of Laxmi Nagar in a few years.
She placed her bag on her workstation and
looked around. A lot of designers were already at work, busy with their
never-ending list of jobs. One thing that made this place ideal for Khushi to
work in, was that she never got time to even breathe during the working hours.
From nine to seven in the evening, it was only exquisite colourful fabrics,
millions of soft threads binding together as one and her.
She could forget the huge burden on her
dainty shoulders, she could forget her scarred past... infact her entire
existence which seemed to be like a curse most of the times. Even if she would
momentarily forget about her reality... beyond the walls of this building, there
would be someone or the other, ready to bring her crashing down to reality.
Outside this glass building, she felt wounded and shattered.
However, amidst these sturdy walls, she
was someone to be respected, to be admired. People loved her work and also her
working ethics. At a place she least expected to be put on a pedestal,
considering the number of talented employees and the amazing work that happened
here, she had been valued like never before. Six months working in ARD, had
transformed her. Her silences had been admonished, making her open up to the
people around. Her sorrow had been drowned with the constant chatter and
discussion of the fashion world.
For the first time in 22 years of her
life, she felt alive and breathing. Her broken heart had been gathering its
fragments, slowly and steadily joining them to be whole again. She was the
extremely talented KKG in this office and everyone respected the craftsmanship
in the various embroideries she mastered in. The exquisite lehengas, sarees and
gowns she worked on, were the talk of the fashion world. Even though she only
followed orders, her suggestions were always welcomed... unlike in the outside
world.
"Good
morning KKG. Again lost in your dream world? Where do you keep zoning to, girl?
Are you like dreaming of a prince charming like me?" The loud and warm voice of NK, brought
an involuntarily smile on her face. "Prince
charming's don't exist Nanheji. It's a myth. I was just thinking about the
peach saree I was working on yesterday... I think we could add a lovely creeper
on one end of the pallu. I know its not in the design, but I feel the saree
looks incomplete," she voiced her opinion like always.
"Hmmm.
Let me see what I can do KKG. Neena is popular for not modifying her designs,
but in any case let me speak to her. And by the way, ASR was absolutely blown
away by the gown that we worked on last week. He has decided to make it the showstopper
for the next western fashion show. Riya is so thrilled that her design is now
going to be popular... but I know KKG, it was all your idea," NK said, with admiration gleaming in his
eyes.
"Oh
no... it was Riya's design. I was merely following her orders. I only modified it
a bit here and there, without her noticing it," she teased, making NK laugh out loud. As
far as Khushi knew, Nandkishore Mittal was the owner's cousin and even though
being a stakeholder in the company, he preferred to be working down the order,
along with the people of this company. He was in charge of the textile
department of ARD, that looked into fabrics and embroideries. His enthusiasm
was infections and since the time he had hired Khushi, he had been a fan of her
work... praising her relentlessly, slowly and steadily boosting her
self-confidence and belief in self-worth.
Noticing the serious look on Khushi's
face, NK shook her shoulder and teased, "Get
to work KKG, we have a huge task ahead of us this week. I don't want my
favourite employee to zone out like this. And by the way, in your drawer, is
lying your confirmation letter and a small, tiny raise. I hope you are happy
with it. If you find anything that is bothering you... come straight to me. Don't
bother with the HR because on this floor, I take all the calls, like you know."
He winked at her and walked away to the next table, briefing the others for the
various tasks at hand.
Khushi pulled open the drawer with
shaking hands, as she swiftly tore open the envelope. The words on the letter
brought tears to her eyes. Someone in this world, finally realized her worth...
they appreciated her... needed her and also acted on their opinion, by giving her
a huge monetary raise. She quickly wiped away the few tears that threatened to
roll down her flushed cheeks. Smiling to herself, she sat down to work, completely
missing the caring glance NK sent her way.
While at work, Khushi was the most
dedicated, most focused person to work with. She would lose track of time, skip
lunches and ignore the buzzing world around her. Despite being an introvert,
she had warmed the hearts of quite a few people at work. Even though their
friendship was strictly professional, Neha and Shreya, would make sure to drag
Khushi to the canteen at exact lunch time. While the two girls ate the
delicious canteen food, Khushi would promptly remove her small tiffin and eat
from it silently. Today was one of those rare days, when Khushi had managed to
go up to the canteen alone, as both her friends were occupied with work.
She sat at a corner table, silently
eating alone, when a group of giggling girls stormed inside the canteen. From
what she had observed in the last six months, they seemed to be ARD's top
models, who frequented the office for fittings and photo-shoots. One of them
was the popular model Lavanya, who she had recently got to work with. She was
extremely stunning; thin, tall, flawless dusky skin, big brown eyes and perfect
face-cut. She had heard quite a few men at work, ogling at the long-legged
lass, while the girls could not stop raving about her dressing style, her
make-up and the way she carried herself.
Khushi saw her gliding near a closeby table,
while the entire canteen seemed to have come alive with their attention focused
on her. The servers flocked her with her favourite meal and made sure she was
comfortably attended to... after all it was rumored that she was dating the owner
of ARD... the very popular, handsome and acute businessman... the great Arnav Singh
Raizada.
Khushi swallowed a morsel of her roti
sabzi, while enjoying the entire circus that was happening around these models.
They seemed to be like a honeycomb, attracting the senseless bees towards them.
It was a hilarious sight, and it took all of Khushi's control to not laugh out
loud. She sighed in resignation, about how life was so unfair. Lavanya Kashyap
had it all going for her. She was rich, famous, popular, loved by all and did not
have to face the harsh realities of life.
Shutting her lunch box, Khushi silently
tiptoed out of the buzzing canteen. No on noticed her and who would even care
about her existence, when there were hundreds of extremely gorgeous women,
fluttering around in this fashion house! Going back to her desk, she immersed
herself in work... the only thing that gave her peace and some kind of happiness.
It was the only thing that made her feel proud, an achievement of sorts,
considering her low self-esteem.
The day had seemed to be never-ending,
with a huge pile of work on her desk. ARD planned and prepared for the wedding
season, when the monsoons began. They were not only into haute couture; they
had diversified into retail outlets for the common woman's needs. Khushi had
been struggling to come up with patterns and designs for their collection,
which would be then replicated by junior artists. NK had given her a huge
responsibility even though she was fairly new to this organization, and she
would make sure to live up to his expectations.
It was almost eight in the night, when
she took an auto towards Laxmi Nagar. She hated the Delhi public transport and
the prying eyes of the men around, did not help her frazzled nerves either. It
was only because of Luckyji, that she had managed to get the phone numbers of a
few auto drivers he knew. Whenever, she would get late at work, she would make
sure to call one of them, instead of taking some random auto. NK had offered to
drop her a number of times, but she had hesitated, considering what people of
her neighbourhood would think. She and her mother already were facing too many
problems and there was no chance she would add to their woes.
As the auto stopped near a local grocery
store, Khushi hopped off and rushed inside to buy the list of items her mother
had requested to get while coming home. The fatigue of the day was catching up,
as she fidgeted around, while the baniya filled up a bag with the required
items. It was only when she had left the shop that she heard the vile words... "Seems like someone is working late. Kya
baat hai?? Aisa bhi kya kaam jismein itni der lag jaye? Come with me darling, I
will teach you how to get things done quickly."
Khushi turned around to glare at a couple
of local boys, who would tease and taunt her regularly. She tried to walk past
them, when one of the boys blocked her from moving forward. "Itni bhi kya jaldi? We all know what you
and your mother are famous for... so stop pretending to be so innocent and just
give us also a chance to please you." Unshed tears pricked Khushi's eyes,
as she controlled her fury. Her whole body was shaking in anger and if she
didn't know these thugs and their contacts better, she would have kicked them
where it hurt the most.
Their nasty words resonated in her ears,
the reality of her existence crashing hard onto her. Why was it not possible,
for people to forget the past and move on? She and her mother had been working
so hard for the last few years, trying to wipe away the tainted scar her father
had left on their fate. Her mother had loved him... and all he had done was use
and throw her away like an innate object. She knew her mother had shouldered a
huge burden on her shoulders all these years... yet in situations like these...
Khushi simply wished to have been killed inside the womb of an unmarried
mother, who had no chance of living carefreely in this society.
"Khushiji...
itna gussa sehat ke liye accha nahi hota," a boy slurred, clearly having had too much of alcohol. Even
before Khushi could open her mouth to respond to his snide remark, the boy
toppled in pain, when a hard blow struck on his face. Khushi whirled around to
see the bloodshot eyes of Shyam Manohar Jha, the famous goon of Laxminagar. She
cringed at even thinking of him as a savior for the tiniest of seconds. "Kitni baar kaha hai chotu, she is your
bhabhiji. Do not dare to call her, otherwise from your filthy mouth," Shyam
snarled.
Diverting his attention from the wailing
boy, he turned towards Khushi and tried to hold her by the shoulder. She cringed
and took a couple of steps backward, putting as much distance as she could
manage between herself and the lecherous man. "I am so sorry Khushiji. These boys I tell you. I will make sure hence
forth they talk to you with utmost respect and call you bhabhiji." Khushi
flinched at the meaning behind his words, as he sneered at her. Knowing that
there was no point talking to this menace, she turned around and almost
sprinted towards her home... running, tripping, controlling the urge to scream...
to cry... to vent out... and give up!
She burst through the doors of their
small home, rushing towards the bedroom. Garima saw her daughter hurry inside
the house in fury and rushed behind her. Something was once again wrong. Had
anyone again taunted her? Had anyone tried to misbehave? She cursed herself yet
again, to have failed to protect her beloved daughter from this vile world. Why
could they not let them be? When would their suffering end? Was her one mistake
going to cost them two lives... hers and Khushi's?
As Garima reached a sobbing Khushi, who
had curled up on the floor, she rushed forward gathering her in her arms. She
knew it was not often that Khushi would break down like this. Her daughter was
strong, fighting the world for herself and for her mother. The young girl did
not break easily against the onslaught of fate. However, the strong facade
would crack every now and then, making Garima realize how vulnerable Khushi
really was.
"Why
amma.. why us? Why my? Why did you give birth to me amma? You should have just
aborted me all those years ago. It is better to die than to live this life full
of struggle and miseries and so many insults. I am sick of fighting back... I am
tired of being strong. Sometimes I just feel like giving up," Khushi broke down into the warmth of her
mother's arms... the only place she didn't have to pretend, the only place that
gave her a solace... a place that made her feel home.
Garima controlled her tears and replied
in a quivering voice, "Shhh beta, aise
nahi kehte. It is only because of you... only for you that I am alive beta. What
would I have done if I didn't have you?" Khushi looked up at her mother and
wiped away the two traitorous tears that had rolled down her mother's wrinkled
cheeks. She knew her words had hurt her mother, yet there was no hiding her
emotions at times like these.
"I
am sorry amma. I did not mean it in that way. I am sorry. I love you. It is
just that I am sick of being judged by people around. No one gave me a chance
to even prove my worth and they have already tainted my identity. I don't know
what to do amma!" Khushi
cried, trying to get a control over her sobs. "Everything will be okay beta. I am sure Devi Maiyya has something
special in store for you. Our sufferings will be over someday and then all that
will remain will be happiness and laughter. You are my strong baccha, aren't
you? Now stop crying and freshen up. I have made your favourite aalu puri. Come
eat and then we can discuss your day at work."
Garima's soothing words had a relaxing
effect on Khushi. She knew her mother's never-die attitude is all they had got.
It was the only thing, which pulled them through their sorrows and let them
enjoy whatever little goodness, life had to offer them. Wiping away her tears,
Khushi quickly had a shower and rushed to eat her favourite food. After a
cheery celebration for Khushi's confirmation letter and the raise she had got
today, Khushi snuggled into her bed... exhausted by the emotionally draining day.
She failed to see a broken Garima, silently crying on the kitchen floor...
praying with all her heart, for a miracle that would change the course of their
life.
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Part 2
Edited by mints23 - 8 years ago
DO NOT COPY THIS POST AS THIS IS EXCLUSIVE TO INDIA FORUMS
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