DAY ONE:
I hate my existence. I don't know this place. I don't know anyone over here...Neither the guy who claims to be my husband...nor this eerie looking house that gives me the creeps. There is a lot of evil residing here...I can feel it. My only instinct is to run away...
..From this tangled relationship with a guy who already has another wife with a child on the way.
I am appalled at myself...Is this the guy I chose for myself? I must have been out of my mind. How on earth did I fall for a guy who would bring someone else into the sanctity of a relationship.
I don't know me...who I have been...
But I do know this much. Marriage to me, is the most important relationship...and I know I expect strict loyalty. How on earth did I agree to stick around with a guy like this!
Like I said, I feel like running away...
Where would I run to?
Back to the man who made a fool of me, convincing me I was his wife? But he really was good to me...and he seemed to have some kind of lame excuse for what he did...Seeing my plight here, I am half tempted to go back to the heaven I was offered! Who would want this hell! Another wife and kid! Why didn't this guy just shoot me before he gave me a sauten!
I must be mad!
I am going to work this out soon. I don't need a guy...neither the one who doesn't consider me special...nor the one who makes me feel special for his personal gains. I feel like a fool, really. I was living in a fool's paradise...Living with a stranger...It feels wretched too...Though I cannot have ill feelings towards Shaad.
But I know this... I will be out of this mess soon.
I hear footsteps behind me. My heart takes a little leap. Out of fear? Anticipation?
I know it is him. I can feel him ...as if he had cast a spell over me. His aura...Perhaps, this is what I was not able to shake off. If so, losing my memory must be the best thing that happened to me. I am not under his influence' now...
"Sanam..." His voice is not sweet...it is very much like him...weary...burdened... Why am I even trying to process this guy! I will be out of here soon. I swear!
He had insisted I sleep in his' room. The Insensitive! Did he expect me to jump into bed with him straight away? I had protested...but Misbah and the others had persuadeded me...
Misbah! How fate brought her to her house! It turned out she was this guy's half sister- an exact replica of her mother and his stepmother...I wonder if that is why I reacted violently when I saw her first. I must have had a history with his mother! Seeing what he is capable of, I can very well imagine how she would have been!
He calls out my name again. I turn slowly. My heart beats fast. I don't even know how to carry out a normal conversation with this guy...let alone ask him about us'...and me...He comes closer. I am afraid to move. He looks at me. I am trying to read him...Is this really the man whose love I felt all over me when I woke up after my accident? Or is there someone else? I already made a big mistake, trusting someone. I am convinced this guy has every right over me as his legally wedded wife...but I have no idea what he meant to me. Was there someone else who meant the world to me? There must be!
He smiles faintly. In a moment he tells me he understands that I am... well...'not well'...that he'd be taking up the couch, leaving the bed to me. I nod my head slightly- I don't trust this guy still...
..and then.. he reaches out for my hand.
He was gentle about it...
But the moment his hands touched mine, I jerked mine away.
The look on his face- Surprise...Hurt... I looked for more, but he turned his face away. I wanted to explain to him...the moment his hands touched mine, something had gone through me. It was a feeling so overpowering...so scary...my hand had just reacted to it.
By the time I summoned my wits to explain, he had already made for the couch, dimming the lights. I welcomed my solitude and stared away into the night...until sleep took me over and I moved to the bed.
Note:
This is what I imagine Sanam to be when Aahil brings her home. Misbah has been discovered to be Tanveer' sdaughter...and she has moved into the house. Shaad has just accompanied both to the Nawab's house and is preparing to leave in the next few days. There is an awkwardness between Shaad and Aahil...Aahil is thankful for Sanam returned to him safe, and feeling uncomfortable about the closeness Sanam exhibited with Shaad when he found her. Shaad has apologised for leading Sanam on and Aahil has quietly accepted, since he is still under the shock of Sanam having forgotten him.
Nayi Sanam is still around...no one knows of her wickedness. The Nawab- Aahil's father- insists on her being accepted since she is to give the heir of the house. Aahil puts up with her because he cannot give up on the (non- existent ) child. He is distressed that he cannot even apologise or have a heart to heart talk with Sanam , who is his best friend and counsellor. He plans to ask Nayi Sanam to leave or if she wants to go with the child- non existent again- he wants her to. He'd fully support the child...but he wants to know what Sanam wants...and unfortunately, his Sanam is not HIS Sanam any more.
And Seher..Well Seher is waiting for season 4 to start...(So that Harshad Chopda or Shaleen can come finding her...kidding.π..)
Coming to the track in the show right now- I am absolutely hating it.
Zoyaan and Aaher never affected me...I felt it was quite clear cut and well within limits. With the current story line, I felt some boundaries were crossed...with Sanam drawing a heart that belonged somewhere else...and the masquerader holding her hand and leading her in full vision of his family. To me, it felt like a clear violation of personal space... and of a woman's honour. I am sorry if I have hurt any fan sentiments.
Anyway, those are my thoughts and I hope this will not be turned into a battle ground. The purpose of this story is to get some kind of closure on Saahil...since the story is inspired by the actor as well as the character, and I will most probably not be following it, when that inspiration is gone. I also believe Aahil is the best character written by Gul so farπ...he is not the typical layered character Gul creates. He always had a soft side...and put up a brave front, while fighting his demons. His wicked step- mother had a deadly hold over him...and it proved to be very costly. She invited the devil herself into his life.
Sanam happened to be the only true friend he had...and she was steadfast in her love...that is because Sanam understood him better than he himself did. True Love calls for sacrifices...and Sanam held on even when she was ordered to leave. There are no rights or wrongs in love...it is purely a journey of ups and downs...
Sahil means the bank of a river. The boat will not get drowned midway and will reach the shore. It may get tossed and turned, but the destination is assured.
If anyone feels like commenting on the show tracks or the characters...defending or offending, please express your opinions in another thread and post the link here. I really will appreciate this being kept a FF thread and comments on the plot of the FF are welcome. Thank U.
This will probably be a Three shot. And the next parts are going to be quite short.
π€
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