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Why?
Why do we have a rather apologetic attitude towards strength? Being sure, having goals, being dogged in pursuit of something?
Why apologetic about aggression?
Especially if it is a woman in question!
I notice films and TV even putting men in similar category. Ambitious or driven means bad. Observant means bad. Unassuming and "innocent" to the point of being foolish and endangering onself means "good"!
Even in films like Trishul and Deewar there is a constant attempt to show the hero's trauma, vulnerability through scenes with mother, sibling and lover.
Aggression can be positive also. It is not always negative. Everything depends on the way you channelise and tap into it.
Since June there is attempt to show Durga weak, confused, vulnerable, double minded. Similar flashbacks are also repeated again and again. She is asked to give it all up.
I rarely see a man being asked to give up his path. If it happens then response is aggressive and the male rather proves concerns of others as seflish and frivolous (check out Zanjeer).
Male upholds fight for the right and calls turning face away as cowardice and selfishness.
Whereas female is made to feel apologetic or pitiable for having any purpose in life.
I watched Khoon bhari maang today and I noticed constant remarks on heroine's dress, behaviour by the second lead hero. Her compassion for even animals is constantly highlighted as if to convince audience again and again that she is not bad at heart. Torture for even her kids is heightened to make her look justified in her revenge.
Never seen such constant explanation for a male's quest for a fight or revenge.
Rarely seen a male lead asked to back off. Or simply get married, have kids and take family out for picnics, drop kids to school. Never seen calls to support either. But for a female lead it is said she better seek support of a man. Either give up. Or achieve goals with "help".
The climax in KBM has Rekha mostly fighting alone. But the director couldn't resist making her vulnerable at one point and having second lead rescue her in nick of the time. She resumes fight again but it was facilitated by a man who saved her.
But you will rarely ever find a movie or scene in which woman somehow helps a man in his fight or rescues him.
In real life, it is not possible for either man or woman to be army in himself/herself. Or take on people single handedly, avenge every wrong.
But if man can be made superhero in fantasies then why not woman in fantasies? It is a fantasy after all!
Men are unqualified superheroes. Women superheroines have "conditions" and explanations attached.
Simply put for a man it is shame to give up. For a woman it is pitiable or shame to carry on!
In this serial it is clear why marriage track has come up. To weaken Durga and throw up more dilemma for her. How do I go against my husband? My in laws? My actions are contrary to the vows I took around the sacred fire!
I can almost visualise those sanctimonious scenes!
It is a shame that heroes are enmeshed in chains constantly and unbridled strength, focus, clarity is associated only with villains.
It seems as a culture we uphold oppression, being oppressed and escapist attitude if we are so apologetic on being goal oriented and determined to get things done a certain way.
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