There is a very small difference between a galti (small mistake) and a gunaah (grave mistake) - the former is subject to maafi (forgiveness).
And so my question today is: Do you think Rudra should forgive his parents for what they did to him? Was it a galti or a gunaah?
Everyone has been constant about one thing since this track started - give the guy some time. Given, but then what? Should he forgive them? Or should he not?
Before we make a call on our judgement, let us take a moment to really know our culprits first.
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15 years earlier-
Dilsher: He is a weak man; he is unable to take the burden of his deeds upon himself. He is incapable of facing the world and he has lived his whole life hiding behind shields he created for himself - which at first was his wife and his son afterwards.
The eldest son of a rich family, always having his way with things. He had a flourishing business, he married a beautiful girl of his own choice. What else did he need? Until the day that everything came dwindling down, he led a blissful life, knowing and feeling nothing but the tapestry of happiness that surrounded him. The day he had his first loss in business. One contract slipped away, then another and then a few more. He was something new - a feeling of not being the best in what he did. Not having things his way. Not feeling capable of controlling his life anymore. And let me tell you, men DO NOT like to feel that, they don't. And then, Dilsher was never a strong man, was he? In such a scenario he started taking out his frustration on the one thing that still belonged to him, that he could still control - Mala.
The tapestry of happiness was being gradually torn. He let his ego and pride rule out any rationality. The final tear came the day he lost his leg, and his wife became more successful than him in business. Two very strong blows at his self-esteem, which left him crippled for life - both physically and mentally. Now he was even weaker than the one person he thought would always be weaker than him. He made one last frantic attempt to prove himself, to render himself the winner of this game. He took to more violent abuse. It gave him pleasure to see her hurt, weak as she should be, on her knees as she should be, pleading before him as she should be.
But the story doesn't end here, no. His cruel pleasure didn't last long, when he found out his wife was going to leave him. She had decided to take a stand, against him. Another blow. He needed her, to live, he was now so addicted to the feeling of superiority that came from seeing that little, weak creature writhe in pain - how could he let her go? She wanted to run away from him, probably to another man waiting for her out there - he has always fantasized about it. He knew she was dating other men out there, after all who wanted a cripple husband? Letting Mala go was letting those men win over him, and he couldn't take another blow in life. So how could he let her go?
But she wouldn't stop. She was obstinate, she wouldn't listen to him. And then he saw the only way to stop her was - their son, Rudra. He saw that the only way to stop her was to let her go, without Rudra. He knew she wouldn't be able to leave him. So he let threw her out of the house, imagining the pleasure it'd be to watch her crawl back right into HIS home the next morning.
She didn't...
Shock, betrayal and embarrassment all hit him at once - what would he say when people say about him if they come to know what he had done to his wife? He had no answers. And not surprisingly, he again used that same weak creature to escape - this time by tainting her name, by destroying her image in everyone's eyes, especially his son's. Yes that gave him a strange sense of satisfaction, when he saw his son starting to take on his words. He BELIEVED his dad. He hated the woman that had ditched him and caused him so much shame and he took every bit of care he could to poison Rudra's mind against Mala, knowing how much it would hurt her if she knew and taking pleasure in it. Revenge, it was!
Mala: She was NOT a weak woman. She endured a life of hell, hoping for that day things would take a turn for the better. She was a good wife, she cared about her husband, and she tried to be his support in times of need as every good wife should. When things got bad the first time, she took it all with grace, because she knew her husband to be different, and she believed the change was temporary. Afterall, the man was going through so much!
She took every slap, every curse, every blow upon herself, thinking it was her duty to do, because she been born and brought up to believe in serving her husband and being with him in good times and bad. So, when things worsened, she still hoped, that maybe things would get better, till that one day when all hell broke loose. She was condemned of committing adultery! If Mala was not weak, she was as spoilt as Dilsher was. She too had always had things her way. How could she, a woman, take such a crime upon herself, knowing she was innocent? Certainly not! And yet, did she have a way to escape? Not physically. She was alone, she could not go to her parents. Moreover she had Rudra bound to her.She could not run away without him! But how could she lead him into an unsure future? So she stayed back, and took a mental escape - she started writing poems. She went to meets, interacted with people. They appreciated her skills, her way with words. She made new friends, and such a friend was a man called Param Singh Tejawat. A man who was passionate about poems as she was (Tejawat is a passionate man, guys), who was very handsome, and made her feel special, happy - things which her husband never did. And naturally they came closer. She confided in him and he gave her the one escape she had been craving for all this while. She saw in him a secure future for her Rudra and herself, and it didn't take her long to make the final decision.
But what a fool she was? How could her husband allow her this one final happiness, when their married life he had offered her none. He made it clear he wouldn't let Rudra leave. She cried, she pleaded but he was immune to all that by now, she knew that. She stood outside in the dark night, looking at the closed doors of her prison and thought of her Rudra's peaceful face as he slept through the night. He was safe there, she told herself. He had his kakusa, his maasi sa to take care of him. He would survive there, but she was quite sure she wouldn't. It was so peaceful here, she felt free. The fresh air, the empty roads beckoned her. The escape was clear, it was too tempting.
And she chose life.
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15 years later-
Dilsher: There comes a time in everyone's life when you look back and ponder upon what you have done in your life. He was at that stage now. And he was surprised to find how his emotions had changed. He no longer took pleasure in talking bad about Mala, instead new emotions had started to take its place. It was guilt. Having seen his son cry night after night made him bitterer. He felt helpless - Rudra was the only thing he had left in his life now and he mattered. He was desperate to mend his life and so he seized the first opportunity that came knocking at their door - Paro. The girl who believed in love, life and happiness - the only person he saw was capable of making his otherwise dead son live again. Was he a bad man? Certainly! Was he a bad father? Probably not, coz despite his mistakes in life he had always LOVED his son.
Mala: Imagine the guilt of a woman who finds out the man she left her own son for someone who turned out to be a treacher! She has had a happy life till the moment the truth came out but she still had missed her son all the while. Her little son. Was he all grown up now? How did he look? When she left, she had ensured that she was in regular touch with her brother-in-law so she could know how her son was doing. She had even meant to try and get to him when things settled down a bit. But before she knew it, it was too late. Dilsher had taken off with him to some unknown place, where she could no longer reach them. Her heart bled, but nothing could be done now. She felt guilty, and so she found solace in bringing up another child - Paro. She found another little kid to love, who needed it. Was she a bad person? No. Was she a bad mother (to Rudra, since we are talking about him here)? Probably yes, because she could have handled the whole matter in a different way.
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Now:
Dilsher: It's a matter between man and wife. (In mind: What will I say to you? That I lied to you for 15years?)
Mala: It's a matter between man and wife. (In mind: What will I say to you? That I left you for my own selfish needs? How do I even begin to explain such a thing?)
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And so I rest my case, forumwasis. Should Rudra forgive his parents for what they did to him? And the more important question, would he be happy NOT forgiving them? When he has to live with them in the same house, see them every moment roam about in front of his very eyes, ready to love him? Does he not miss being loved? Does he really HATE his parents that much? Is he that strong?
P.S: I'm very busy with my exams at the moment guys, so I mayn't be able to type out replies to each of your comments. But I'd really like to know what you all think. A healthy discussion is welcome.
P.P.S: It's a very long post and I don't know if I even made sense. Just had these thoughts pent up in my mind for a long time and I decided I had to get them out if I had to do any studying 😆 And please ignore any typos, sorry!
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