Posted:
While Paro is ever the enigma that I cannot wrap my head around entirely, her recent actions in light of Rudra's pain and rage is something that I fully understand. This is not based on speculation or hypothesizing but based on my own experience. I thought to share this viewpoint in a bid to give some clarity as to why she may be behaving the way she is.
My elder brother, whom I love and adore, is a a caring son, father and husband albeit one with a very hot temper. He's a guy who has limited patience and is easily set off. He's also someone who happens to be very emotionally closed off and rarely if ever lets his own personal emotions (other than angry-related feels) out into the open. When he gets angry, he shouts, he taunts and basically his rage causes everyone around to become dumbstruck due to its intensity.
Over the years he has learned that his rage-fuelled words are very hurtful to those who they are aimed at and even though he doesn't entirely mean what he shouts in anger, the damage is already done. Afterwards he regrets what he said but he can't bring himself to apologize so he acts as if nothing happened whilst attempting to make amends through small awkward gestures.
So now when he gets angry, he simply goes silent and walks away. Of course, we all know he's angry because he still looks like a storm cloud about to thunder and his silence is seething with rage. but at least he doesn't say anything which will reduce people to tears. Depending on how upset he is, he can take a few hours to overnight to calm down. And everyone leaves him alone because anything they say or do around him will make his temper spike again. He's a bit volatile like that.
The only person who is okay being around him when he is angry and sulking is me. And that's because I stay quiet and calm and simply leave him be. I don't talk to him or try to explain or try to soothe him. In the beginning I did and I realized that he wasn't in the right frame of mind to hear anything. So I stopped trying and instead noticed that if I wanted him to calm down then I needed to stay calm myself.
Emotions reflect emotions in such cases. And when he got upset, he would make others upset which would further escalate the situation. But in my case, because I would accept his need to be upset and remain cool myself, he calmed down much faster. Because he knew that at least there was one person who understood why he was feeling mad and was trying to be supportive in a calm way. And was prepared to listen when he was ready to talk about his upset.
Soon enough my extended family noticed this habit of ours...he would get upset, walk away and sit somewhere moodily; after a while I would grab a book or my phone and go sit nearby him quietly and then a little while later he would calm down enough to have a civil conversation with me. Then once I figured out why he was having a tantrum, I would go around and manage the situation so that whatever was making him upset would be resolved either by talking to him or others. So now whenever all of us are together, and something happens, my family joke about sending me like a sacrificial lamb to a lion's den so they can get the fun version of him back. And even he knows it too. In fact I think he waits for me to show up so he can calm down properly 😆
So, for once, for me, Paro's actions towards Rudra makes sense. She's not ignoring him. She's very aware of where he is and what he is doing but she is giving him his necessary space. He may want her nearby but at his peak rage level it is because he wants to vent his anger on someone. She tried explaining things to him then and received taunts in response. So now she is waiting it out patiently until he is calm enough to listen and use his brain rather than his heart. And in the meanwhile through her words and gestures she is reassuring him that she is there and she is not leaving despite his harsh words and actions. By accepting his anger and reassuring him, she is soothing the frustrated and hurt inner Rudra.
And by not putting things on hold -> her care of Mala, the mending of relationships within the haveli; she is subconsciously telling him that these things will happen and must happen. Life goes on and he needs to work through his rage and figure out whether and how he will be a part of things. And when he is ready to do so, she will be there.
comment:
p_commentcount