OS: Yesterday and Tomorrow--Forgiveness (completed) - Page 20

Originally posted by: Oldestfan

OK. 

This is what you are going to do. You are going to carefully collect this Yesterday and Tomorrow series, and you are going to take it to Nautanki. They will publish an ebook as companion to their show. With this series. Plan what you will wear for the book tour! 

All  the napster fans,

Let us join the hands

 And make a petishun to Nautanki

To publish an ebook, this series ki. 

Your stories change genre with each part. This series on torture was brutal, stark, action packed and gut punching.  There is a part of scripture somewhere in the New Testament, about thw courage of the meek. You made that come to life here. 

Oh yeah.I loved THE HELL out of it! 👏

My dear:

I cannot tell you how amazing it is that someone who is obviously well read thinks my efforts are worth publication in tandem with the show we are all so completely mesmerized by! I'm not going to give the "usual awe shucks gee whizz- I write sitting on rainbows" response here, because frankly, I am quite happy with the way this part of the Yesterday and Tomorrow story arc turned out, AND it was pretty hard to get down on paper. It cost me a several rewrites, as Explimere and even Tvbug11 and the others know, as do you, I was wondering whether I should go for it, or tone it back. I've found the reaction to the actual gritty parts invigorating, but I can assure you, I don't think it approaches what the CVs have in store fr us. Im toying with a One-Shot just with the sindoor scenario--I LOVE sindoor symbolisms!!

Thanks!
Navin

This is such a beautifully written story..

I as said was at a wedding last night when I refreshed this page for one more time n realized that the update has come... and ignoring all my office colleagues i started reading and by the time i reached "She would come up against another interrogation in ten minutes. Would she survive? She had been so weak when she had asked for her Aman Bhaiya, when she had whispered a goodbye to him on Ram Mohan's  cell-phone! Her voice had sounded so oddly peaceful and resigned to her fate, Aman had found his cheeks wet with tears as he had hung up. She was innocent, his very blood had screamed this to him. She had not called to confess, as Ram Mohan had thought, but to say goodbye to her "Bhaiya." She had known, somehow, that she would not survive the night. And Aman, in mindless grief, in desperation, had come here, to the other BSD prisoner Kesari Ram. Playing on his instinct, hoping to see if there was any small clue, any tiny inconsistency he could use to stop the death Fate had chosen for one more sister whom he had taken into his heart. " i was half crazed n sobbing myself trying to avert my face so that they won't see...n ask...what was I to say... how could i explain?
but none of these mattered, i just read on... wiping my tears...

And then  I gasped in horror as alongwith Aman I also learned that the killer would be handed Paro in a platter...by the very people who should have protected her... but on the other hand I was relieved to realized that somehow whenever this immediate horror would be passed, Aman bhaiya would have enough information to protect his little sister forever... so that not another single finger would be laid on her...

" Ram Mohan with a defiant hand resting for a second on Paro's bent head, "
In my own head I saw Kakaji's face in here.. as he laid a hand on little Paro's head.. powerless to do anything else in his lower rank..except to feed her some clean water from his own and to keep a hand on her head..i bit back more sobs... those images were so poignant... n came to me with so much clarity..it was as if i was watching them in front of my own eyes...

and then... he came... and as he begged her to talk so that he could prevent her being killed... and she snuggling into his warmth.. delirious and exhausted was more than it was possible for me to take.. i stopped reading... and excused myself to the washroom... i just cried my heartout as i went back n read the whole thing again till that point... slowly.. with reverence to each word u had written.. absorbing it all in...

and finally when she spoke to that killer n faced death with that inner strength and dignity... i love her.. so so much... innocent... child that she is...so brave.. my heart was in my mouth as I read each word painfully...dreading... more than I have ever dreaded anything..
and when in the end he managed to break in and Aman bhaiya came for his sister I just hugged the phone to my heart and cried in relief...
and finally i read those last 2 lines n as i felt the tension draining out of me.. i just had a small smile on my face...that quirky last line...

I swear Navin, I have never in my life except for the books of Harry Potter series, I have never breathed n lived in with another piece of writing while I awaited for the next part of it.. I think I read those last few parts over 100 times again and again.. had then haunt me as i waited to sleep at night.. dreading for what was to come...
you have magic in your words and I truly hope one day u will get this published.. I just just loved it..

I have already read it so many times.. but i couldn't comment till now as i wasn't anywhere near the laptop until now.
i just relived that moment when i read it for u to know.. just how much this part meant to me.. n how much of an impact this amazing story had on me...

pls pls write n share the next part soon!! 🤗

You outdo yourself every. single. time. I'm literally at a loss for words, and I'm never at a loss for words. You've completely moved me. My favorite scene was when Rudra came in to talk to her- he was so pleading, and you really took that emotion and ran with it. I just- wow.

Yeh to kashmakash me daal diya... I love both Arnav And Rudra... woh wallah chalega... inta intezaar jo kiya. Waise Sorry... Late reply...

Two things:

1) ASDFGHJKL:

That's me in a state of incoherence after reading the final installment of Forgiveness'. You have outdone yourself with this one, yet again.

 Brilliantly written.

There is no grander way to put this. Perhaps,this a side effect of the aforementioned incoherence.  
It was the anatomy of Emotions, of lives bonded in some twisted form. It has been a surreal experience reading your work, not because of the wonderfully laid out plot, or the depth of the characters. It was simply because you transported the readers to the world that you have woven through mere words. Frankly, a visual aid is unnecessary when a writer can bring out this kind of magic.

I am pretty certain I screamed "Aman just GO ALREADY!!!" at one point, and then almost went into a cardiac arrest later as -excuse my language- a***** Jasheem Khan locked & wedged the bloody door shut.
Also am guilt of dismissing a rather persistent mom- bent on getting me to the dinner table- with a grave "Not now mom, things are really bad".

 

You. You capture your readers with a unique intensity, setting them on the edge. It takes great caliber to attempt it, and even greater mettle to nail it right. And you do it. You do.

I have no more words, cause really I'm in awe. I may totally be fan-girling here, I do not know and I will not venture to find out. But you have brought joy to my heart, so what the heck.   

2) Redemption:

My heart skips with joy and anticipation to a degree that's almost vulgar. I simply cannot wait for it, mainly because I want to know how Paro would end up forgiving and loving Rudra. Forgiveness may be achieved to a certain extent- but love? I apologize for my skepticism, but you do see where that comes from...
 So once again, I leave it to your capable hands to weave your magic and do the wonder job of convincing the readers in this extraordinary saga of love.

I await 'Redemption' with bated breath.

Okay, occasional breathing- because I simply cannot afford to die without reading it. :D

P.S: Have you considered taking up writing as profession? If not, you must. Really, you must.

    

Edited by Sonata24 - 10 years ago

I do not have words to describe your writing but this was beyond amazing..it was so vivid and heart wrenching. I didn't want to read it but couldn't put it down. You made us feel Parvati's pain, her courage and her strength..even her innocence through the people around her.

Wonderful update!! Loved it completely. It's OK if Ram Johan hadn't shoot JK in the hgead!! But his target should have been between JK's upper thighs. I think you get what I mean!!! Waiting for more eagerly!!!

Originally posted by: princessunara

I as said was at a wedding last night when I refreshed this page for one more time n realized that the update has come... and ignoring all my office colleagues i started reading and by the time i reached "Playing on his instinct, hoping to see if there was any small clue, any tiny inconsistency he could use to stop the death Fate had chosen for one more sister whom he had taken into his heart. " i was half crazed n sobbing myself trying to avert my face so that they won't see...n ask...what was I to say... how could i explain?
but none of these mattered, i just read on... wiping my tears...

And then  I gasped in horror as alongwith Aman I also learned that the killer would be handed Paro in a platter...by the very people who should have protected her... but on the other hand I was relieved to realized that somehow whenever this immediate horror would be passed, Aman bhaiya would have enough information to protect his little sister forever... so that not another single finger would be laid on her...

" Ram Mohan with a defiant hand resting for a second on Paro's bent head, "
In my own head I saw Kakaji's face in here.. as he laid a hand on little Paro's head.. powerless to do anything else in his lower rank..except to feed her some clean water from his own and to keep a hand on her head..i bit back more sobs... those images were so poignant... n came to me with so much clarity..it was as if i was watching them in front of my own eyes...

and then... he came... and as he begged her to talk so that he could prevent her being killed... and she snuggling into his warmth.. delirious and exhausted was more than it was possible for me to take.. i stopped reading... and excused myself to the washroom... i just cried my heartout as i went back n read the whole thing again till that point... slowly.. with reverence to each word u had written.. absorbing it all in...

and finally when she spoke to that killer n faced death with that inner strength and dignity... i love her.. so so much... innocent... child that she is...so brave.. my heart was in my mouth as I read each word painfully...dreading... more than I have ever dreaded anything..
and when in the end he managed to break in and Aman bhaiya came for his sister I just hugged the phone to my heart and cried in relief...
and finally i read those last 2 lines n as i felt the tension draining out of me.. i just had a small smile on my face...that quirky last line...

I swear Navin, I have never in my life except for the books of Harry Potter series, I have never breathed n lived in with another piece of writing while I awaited for the next part of it.. I think I read those last few parts over 100 times again and again.. had then haunt me as i waited to sleep at night.. dreading for what was to come...
you have magic in your words and I truly hope one day u will get this published.. I just just loved it..

I have already read it so many times.. but i couldn't comment till now as i wasn't anywhere near the laptop until now.
i just relived that moment when i read it for u to know.. just how much this part meant to me.. n how much of an impact this amazing story had on me...

pls pls write n share the next part soon!! 🤗

Edited by napstermonster - 10 years ago

What an update