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This title simply sums it all.. Paro.. As I have said many times before too, its this one characteristic that makes her so unique.. There is such serene placidity in her. So inherently gentle, a nurturer...the care giver.. and even when she is passionate and agitated on behalf of a loved one, that inherent gentleness..sweet gentle lull is in her words..never ceases..hurt, pain, despair.. nothing changes that core of who she is..
When forces stronger than her raises against her she looks for shelter..that is her natural instinct and without fail she takes shelter in the closest refuge, even her jallad...he becomes her protector then and she instinctively holds on to him, placing in him her trust to protect her from that force of nature stronger than her.. she is not a natural fighter.. and only when she knows no one is there to fight her and she is pushed to a corner that dormant fighting spirit that is alien to her rises for the moment.
And then comes that moment when he takes her in to the room and confronts her as to why she messed with kaki's business.
And for the first time in the history of my TV watching i heard those lines, 'there was a reason for me to speak, u might not have seen it. But I saw how ur aunt is making ur SIL's life hell. At every step she insults her. You can see my fault. But u cannot see ur SIL's pain. A moment might not have been spent today when jija's eyes were not wet from her pain'
Not self righteous, not fiery.. just laying down the simple facts and opening her gentle heart..showing him the world she sees from her innocent eyes..
he is exasperated at that, cz what can u do when such idealism, such purity and such untouched innocence stares at u? Instead of destroying that innocence he diverts, 'she is not your sister' he avers..and goes on to tell her that its not her home and she has no relationship with them..carefully skirting around the emotions she laid bare to him..
"'Where is my home?' Paro calls out softly making Rudra stop on his tracks, she walks up to him and asks 'please tell me, where have u left my home? Where am I from? From which village am I? from which family am I? Whom am I related to? Which world do I belong to?'"
The gentle soul..always looking for companionship.. the orphan in her, seeking to belong to someone, somewhere.. and to have someone to belong to her..
It took me back to the moment where she held on to her mirror reflection in her lonely cold, dark cell and cried and the next moments when she shared her simple joy with her mirror reflection..cz she is scared to be left all alone in this world.. her gentle heart wants to have someone to care for..the innate nurturer rises within her...as she seeks bonds to bind her to them..
And then the forgiving heart that is beating within her cannot let even the jallad suffer, it was not for the reason she gave him she came.. but because she being who she is will always care, always nurture.. always reach out with love..
And even when he spurns her overtures she tells him that not in so many words that despite him hurting her 'she cannot inflict pain on him deliberately or even watch him suffer' cz its not who she is..
And then it crossed my mind.. that in all this suffering he put her through and all that she lost cz of him, still didn't make her 'hate' him..she has never told him that she hates him..she called him 'jallad' , heartless...but she never said she hates him.. because I think she doesn't have it in her to hate.. not him.. not anyone else..
If u remember her words from the past she told him 'he will regret hurting her for no fault of hers' she said ' his stone heart would melt and would feel her pain' but never did she mean she would hate him.. she simply said 'she would never forgive him' that is because that is the extreme she can go to.. she just doesn't have it in her to hate..
And then that quiet conviction with which she told Rudra that she would never betray her country.. and her belief that he too about this too will learn the truth.. will know she is not a traitor..
that purity of a spirit so full of light.. emanates from her..every moment..
And then that moment with Suneri, while her head told her to tell Suneri, to disillusion her of her belief that her brother was a savior when he has been her destroyer. Yet the last second she refrained from doing so.. putting the protection of Suneri's idealistic beliefs above her own needs
Nurturer..the care giver once again.. and she falls asleep in to an uneasy slumber as she fights waking nightmares intermingled with the conflicting image of a protector..while she allows Suneri to sleep with a smile, without a care or worry that anything is wrong with her idealistic world..
And the following morning the gentle heart within her is hurting for Maitali..and forgetting the very danger it poses for her, or is it in her nativity that she suggests that they try talking to kaki sa once again? One who didn't know her would take her for a fool.. BUT is she? Or is it her purity and unwavering belief of the existing of good in this world that prompts her to think that after everything there just might be a heart within kaki sa which will melt?
Maitali doesn't share her faith and rebuffs her and tries to break the fragile bond they forged b/w them..
And once again comes that Paro who is the nurturer who cannot survive without someone to bond her to them.. because Paro doesn't have an identity unless she is someone to somebody. Be it a daughter to her mamisa or a sister to her new found 'jija'.
She doesn't have an ego, she is all gentle heart as she pleads 'jija are u angry with me for something? if anything i did troubled you i apologize to you, but please don't turn away from me like this. Jija if u r also angry with me, with whom will I talk?'
And when Maitali leaves her behind and goes Paro is distraught.. she is all alone once again..
Rudra who listened to all of it tries to give her a piece of advice about the world as he sees it..and he fails to get through to her..as she is grief stricken to have lost someone again..her eyes r desolate, pools of hurt and pain..a sheen of tears slightly visible...
And even the jallad feels his heart melting inspite of him and he tries to tell that maybe she can talk to him? Maybe she doesn't have to be so alone? He too tries, cz her pain is palpable..
'if u wanted something, tell me. Workers will be coming now, if u want to stay here cover ur face'
And she takes the option he offers as she covers her face, hiding her identity, erasing her identity once again behind that veil..as he asked.. she is alone again..and that is the last thing he sees in her pained eyes..before she turns n leaves..
A beautiful beautiful episode.. what a beautiful narration to dialogues..Raghuvir sir surpassed himself with this one.. And so very glad to have a Paro centered episode where we hear her thoughts, where she comes from..so that we can connect easily to her..
And Sanaya Irani, where can i begin..u are Paro.. u give life to Paro with that serene purity in such a manner that it just calms me down watching you be Paro as her serenity washes over me too..
What a delightful character she is..
Ashish was amazing too..so in sync with her..they create such a beautiful world between them, in their silence or in their talks..or in the words that are left unsaid..
Just such a beautiful episode..
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