Posted:
Schlock: I want my baba to be happy, can you come back?
Asthma: I want my baba to be happy, can't do.
Schlock: I will give you more sarees
Asthma: thats the problem, your taste in saree sucks
Schlock: i will give you more teddies
Asthma: I want you to leave me alone
Schlock: Can't do. I need to replace CLPL with Cheap Salwar and Panic attacks
Asthma: Cheap Salwar and Panic attacks?
Schlock: yes, thats your specialty, i need that.
Asthma: You insult me
Schlock: Sorry, I didn't intend to. Your cheap salwar kameez tore on the slightest touch, Sorry. Did you buy it from Sarojini Market?
Asthma: Yes! How did you know?
Schlock: I bought my shirt from there too.
Asthma: I know! they tear so easily, errr.. but thats not the point, I am not coming back
Schlock: I will carry you to my house if you want?
Asthma: That might work.
Schlock: Deal?
Asthma: I need a new contract.
Schlock: Tell me your terms and conditions
Asthma: Here, I prepared a list last night
- No touching, no touching. only seeing only seeing
- Distance between us at any time: 1.5 feet
- Distance between your mouth and my nose 3 feet with no mouthwash, and 1 feet with mouthwash
- No more cheap sarees. Only cheap salwars
- Occasionally carrying me in your arms is ok, provided we do it in your house in plain sight or in your bedroom.
- No transfer for my Baba to Timbuktu
- Put air conditioning in store room, its gets hot in there
- A lock on storeroom door for our private conferences
- New hairdo for Mangala madam, I bought her hairbands too
- Plaster for your mother's mouth
- Ergonomic chaise for our unavoidable falling tripping would be welcome too
- Plexiglass windows for all windows
- Candle holders in every room
- Clear the Fire Exits so I can jump out when you get mad
- You will go on anti-depressants asap
- If I try to get close to you, you will shut your eyes and breath heavily like I do. Make sure your chest heaves atleast 3 inches up with every breath.
- Get a cell phone with data plan, need to text you bad sardarji jokes and dirty vids
- Less gel on your hair
- That brown on brown? so last season. change that
Schlock: Is that all?
Asthma: yes. oh, and no hugging on terrace or anywhere if there are no bushes.
Schlock: got it, thanks for coming back.
Asthma: you are welcome
Schlock: Shall we get started?
Asthma: yes, you can lift me now.
Hot daddy, Momzilla and family are busy meeting the prospective bride's parents.
Momzilla: Past is past, why talk about them? Do what i do. Bury them and hide them.
Brides Dad: Good idea
Momzilla: Your daughter is very accomplished in household activities.
Brides' Mom: yes, yes, she is especially good at pleasing a man in the bedroom.
Momzilla: What??
Bride's Dad <clears throat>: Past is past na, why talk about them?
Brides' Mom: How is Schlock in bedroom
Hot Daddy: He takes after me in that department.
Momzilla: yes, yes, he doesn't even do it without Hot Daddy's permission?
Bride's Dad: He doesn't come or go without permission.
Hot Daddy: No
Bride's Dad: Not even once?
Hot Daddy: Nope.
Bride's Dad: Wow, such cultured boy.
Hot Daddy: Yes, he doesnt even touch a girl with a ten foot barge pole.
Bride's Dad: Who's that in Schlock's arms then?
Hot Daddy: That must not be a girl. Thats a special package from office. Aap chai peejiye.
Cricket
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
