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So what if Mallika Sherawat was on the fringes of Cannes (not new) calling India regressive (not new) for publicity (not new)? Those slamming her for that reason are missing the point. For us, in her interview - or should we say, innerview? - to Variety, as soon as she started talking about her film, "Duurty Phaahlitics", it was so hard to focus on anything else but her face - top half frozen with eyebrows pinned upwards and eyes wide open, lower half protruding in intervals (sorry, innervals) when she was putting on her LA-acquired American accent.
Problem was, Mallika darling, why'd you remember suddenly that you were supposed to be going American, then forget it and get back to the Indian accent, and then remember being American again? As a bemused comment on YouTube read, "What's this, a call center interview?", we were wondering if the interviewers were also reminded of the last time they made a call about their broken washing machine.
"It's about a woman who gets involved with a phaahlitician, who was a nurse," she trawls, "and how she gets muuurrderred in the end. India is such a hypocritical sociery, where women are at the baaram of society (here, she decides to give both India and America credit by pronouncing 'society' both ways)". Then she goes on to praise the subject of her film, who had the courage to stand up to the politician who "kind of (kind of?!) raped hurr, molested hurr, abused hurr", and she "rekhords his misgivings (hain?!) and releases it to the phress."
She doesn't miss pointing out how tough it is doing a biopic, where you have to resemble a kharacturr mentally, and her "thaawts, emotions" and what she was going through. And then the lies start.
"I was the first actress to khisss on screen and wear a bikeeneeh! Imaaagine, in this 21st century!" she wails, and brings out her videshi CV, "I was one of the fuurrst actresses to be caaste by Jackie Chaaain. That gave me a lot of innernational exposure (yeah, we remember the exposure, totes). I did an American movie called Phaahlitics Of Love, worked with Jennifer Lynch who is David Lynch's daughturrr, so I made a khaancious decision to divide my time between LA and Indeeyaah..." and goes on about how "dephressing!" it is coming back here, with her best Earnest Oprah Face.
We don't know what's more dephressing - cringing and thinking about how many innernationals have watched it and laughed at us call-center-types, or that she still manages to elbow her way in innernationally without half a decent body of work. We'd rather watch it again for a laugh.
Problem was, Mallika darling, why'd you remember suddenly that you were supposed to be going American, then forget it and get back to the Indian accent, and then remember being American again? As a bemused comment on YouTube read, "What's this, a call center interview?", we were wondering if the interviewers were also reminded of the last time they made a call about their broken washing machine.
"It's about a woman who gets involved with a phaahlitician, who was a nurse," she trawls, "and how she gets muuurrderred in the end. India is such a hypocritical sociery, where women are at the baaram of society (here, she decides to give both India and America credit by pronouncing 'society' both ways)". Then she goes on to praise the subject of her film, who had the courage to stand up to the politician who "kind of (kind of?!) raped hurr, molested hurr, abused hurr", and she "rekhords his misgivings (hain?!) and releases it to the phress."
She doesn't miss pointing out how tough it is doing a biopic, where you have to resemble a kharacturr mentally, and her "thaawts, emotions" and what she was going through. And then the lies start.
"I was the first actress to khisss on screen and wear a bikeeneeh! Imaaagine, in this 21st century!" she wails, and brings out her videshi CV, "I was one of the fuurrst actresses to be caaste by Jackie Chaaain. That gave me a lot of innernational exposure (yeah, we remember the exposure, totes). I did an American movie called Phaahlitics Of Love, worked with Jennifer Lynch who is David Lynch's daughturrr, so I made a khaancious decision to divide my time between LA and Indeeyaah..." and goes on about how "dephressing!" it is coming back here, with her best Earnest Oprah Face.
We don't know what's more dephressing - cringing and thinking about how many innernationals have watched it and laughed at us call-center-types, or that she still manages to elbow her way in innernationally without half a decent body of work. We'd rather watch it again for a laugh.
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