National Madari : Sonia Gandhi (whole country of monkeys dances to her tunes)
National Wannabe Gandhian: Sanjay Dutt
National Kung Fu Master: Akshay Kumar
National One Man Circus: Rajinikanth (for all the antics he does in films)
National Daandu* : Mukesh Ambani
*Daandu is used for anyone who has protruding frontal teeth that stick out of the mouth
National Dushaasan : Arvind Kejriwal (for always exposing either government or corporates)
National Favoured Foreign destination: USA (Caneda for Punjabis)
National Upholder for Regionalism: Raj Thackeray
National Damaad ji: Robert Vadra
National butt of jokes & scorn: Khap Panchayats
National Word: "Scam"
National Phenomenon: Corruption
National Religious Activity: Rioting in name of religion
(no offense but there's not a single religion in India that has not been affected by communalism)
National Bird: CBI (the "caged parrot")
National masti wali naukri: IAS (corrupt officers, most of them freeloaders)
National First Consultant for every Crisis: Your local pandit/jyotish/astrologer
National Whipping Boy: Pakistan
(anything happens in India - it's all fault of Pakistan!)
National Personality Trait: Hypocrisy
National Banshee: Rakhi Sawant
National Pet: Aamir Khan's dog named after Shahrukh
(it gets discussed more than the stars themselves. It will be remembered for generations)
National Bodyguard: Salman's bodyguard Shera (the only VIP bodyguard whose name is known to aam aadmi!)
National Kiss: Aamir-Lolo's kiss in Raja Hindustani
National "Haww ji!" film: Maya Memsaab
National Motu: Ram Kapoor
National Ambassador for Liposuction: Adnan Sami
National Ambassador for "Plastic surgery se bacho" Abhiyan: Koena Mitra
National Nawab: Saif Ali Khan
National Chu****: KRK
National Sexy Yogi: Vinod Khanna (he'd given up films at his peak to join ashram of Rajneesh)
National Invisible Enemy: Dawood
National Furniture: Kursi (for politicians and aam working class), Couch (for showbiz guys), Bed
National Late Lateef: Govinda
National Human Zoo: Bigg Boss house
National Human Jungle: Parliament
National Eternal April Fool: Aam Aadmi (fooled by everyone from government to media)
National panacea for social problems: Candlelight marches
National Love Guru: Shahrukh Khan
National Rangeela banda: Dharmendra
National Foulmouth: Mika Singh
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