Crossing the heartbreak bridge
Feeling devastated, locking oneself up, mourning for days with the biggest tissue box by the bedside, listening to break-up songs and uploading emotional statuses on social media and getting endless dark circles because of sleepless nights; these are some of the images that we tend to associate with a woman who has recently come out of a relationship.
Men also do get shattered by break-ups but it seems that they are better in hiding their emotions and when it comes to moving on, they do it much faster than women.
Actress Ira Dubey says, "Men are more practical, rational and logical when it comes to relationships. Their way of expressing emotions is different and that doesn't mean they are not affected by the loss. They bundle up everything inside and then move ahead. Unlike women, men don't see the end of a relationship or the loss of someone special as the end of the world."
While women are more likely to confide in close friends and family members after a breakup, men are more likely to mix their tears with beer but when no one is watching! Men are very good at hiding feelings but they undergo the same kind of emotions. Actor Samir Soni, however, disagrees that men move on faster. He says, "I don't think emotions have anything to do with one's gender. A man is equally affected when he's hurt. It comes down to personal choice of how you want to deal with things and how you want to move on."
Often, men move on because they're supposed to. They are expected to stay strong, get out on the social circuit, and essentially, find a new partner as quickly as possible. In the end, he is "allowed" by the society to get out there and approach women right after a breakup, because of the simple fact that he's a guy. Most guys will go with this flow, follow their friends' advice, and get right back out there. It may actually hasten the healing process, but it could just be a temporary aid that suppresses real feelings that should be expressed and dealt with sooner or later.
Saras Bhaskar, psychologist and founder, Professional Counseling Services, says, "Women are more affected when they lose a loved one mainly because they invest more in a relationship. But having said that guys also undergo trauma but their way of expressing it is different. They have more outlets such as getting involved in drinks, smoking, etc but women get stuck in the past and find it more difficult to move on."
The bottom line seems to be, no matter what the ideal situation is, society and stereotypes obviously play a big role in our dating (and post-breakup) lives.
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