Originally posted by: BarunDiwani
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Episode 112-113: Heartbreak
Has a piece of mittai (sweet) ever tasted so bitter?
The girl with the mega-sweet tooth swallows it like a bitter pill that it really is... She simply couldn't say no to Nani who was feeding her in celebration of Arnav's engagement announcement. The very announcement that in an instant made a billion pieces of her heart.
With his presence, he gave her dhak dhaks, he came when she needed his strong shoulder to lean on, she associated the word "pyaar"(Love) with him when she saw him everywhere, she felt the sitare(stars) from the sky with him nearby. He made her dream. And for the first time today he gave her a high like nothing she ever experienced before, and after that phone call came her first heartbreak, excruciating pain also something she's never experienced. She cried and cried as he watched through the big glass window.
All she wanted to do was get out of there, in the background wishes still pouring in for the engagement announcement. unable to contain her tears she tries to run out of there, only to be stopped by La. "What happened to you, you're crying?" Khushi forces a smile and assures her they're tears of happiness. I feel La senses something, she asks twice if Khushi is happy for her. "I'm really happy" khushi assured before La hugs her. Arnav witnesses the embrace, he swallows hard knowing what heartbreak is hidden behind that smile. Poor girl doesn't even get to leave, she has to paste a smile on and hold back the tears
Always good at hiding her pain and problems from her family, who gave her so much after her parents died, but for Khushi forcing a smile has never been harder than today. After Nani feeds her the sweet, she goes into her special mode that makes Arnav question "kis mitti ki bani hai yeh?" later on. She stretches that smile on her face, her voice to a forced high.
"badhaai ho! aapko apne naati ke liey bahu mil gayee...laaye OPji, aaj hum sab ka moo meetha karenge"
"Congratulations Naniji, you found a wife for your grandson...OPji, give it here, today i will sweeten everyone's mouth"
Maybe this is how she's dealt with pain since she was 8, self preservation mechanism perhaps...block it all out and pretend all is fine, eventually the mind will follow. Today the pain is unbearable. When she acts similarly after he reveals the reason for the forced marriage, again she is also incredibly hurt that he could think so low of her. This is how Khushi lives up to her name.
Arnav, puzzled with her OTT behavior but sure of one thing, she is hiding enormous amount of hurt underneath. She endures more of it when Anjali brings out the special halwa and tells Arnav that she made it, a harsh reminder of the love and care she put into it. She takes off in a haste insisting she would be ok going alone on this Diwali night, much to Arnav's concern.
While talks of the marriage and meeting La's family are initiated by Naniji, allArnav can think about is Khushi's safety. Even when shyaam comes to wish him, nothing registers till La repeates "mrs. and mr. raizada, wow i can't believe it" ... is it just sinking in what you've done ASR? Mamiji talks about fast mangni and super fast wedding suffocates him and he explodes...
"Enough of this non-sense everyone! i agreed to get married, I didn't say i'll get married tonight, so you ppl pleast stop setting the date for it and booking the honeymoon tickets" ...a bit much even for Chotey. Since Khushi started working there, the family had noticed a change in chotey, like forgiving and sparing JP when he spilled tea on him...he had just learned what forgiveness means. Now, heightened anger will be the biggest side effect... that's the only way he knows how to express his pain.
He leaves, he has to make sure she's safe. koi ahemiyat nahi hai?...she has not importance huh?
Khushi on the middle of the road, almost disoriented painfully lives through those moments then his abrupt announcement, while her question play in his mind like a broken record. His signature screeching breaks startles her and bring her out of her thoughts, she's surprised to see him. She goes back into her special mode, with the smile back on, "Arrey what you doing here, you should be at h-"...he interrupts
"Sit in the car" he is certainly aint buying her act "mein ghar chhod doonga( i'll drop you home)" such a sense of care and resposnibility in his voice. He is her protector no matter what. She tells him that she'll go on her own, he tells her to "shut up and sit in the car." she obeys. after all that's happend,she obeys, is it because a part of herself understands him being here after all that's happened?
The quiet tension in the car can be cut with a knife. Again going into her mode, leaving him even more perplexed when she wishes him and La. "i'm so happy to know that you and Lavanyaji are getting engaged...its a holiday and top of that such big news!" He still doesn't get her act but he sees right through it.
"toh tum khush ho? So you're happy?" in typical ASR tone
"arrey, i'm really happy, hum to yeh hi chahte the ki- (thisis what i want that-)"
"oh really? tum yeh hi chahti thi? (this is what you wanted?)"
I feel like he wants her to admit her true feeling even after he's crushed then to pieces. Why ASR why, you hurt her so she would hate you then why do you want her to still admit otherwise??
"yes ofcourse, why are you asking like this ? you and La are getting engaged, what can be better than that? and it good that you'lre dropping me home, you must meet babuji and amma, they'll be so happy about this news too" her voice reaching that unnatural high again(Sanaya is brilliant here). he lets her finish her nonsense (seems that what he think of her act)
"thodi der pehle tum mujhse kucch pucch rahi thi (you were asking me something a bit ago)" ...so now he's ready to answer the question.
she denies it "hum kya pucch rahe the (What was i asking)?".
"apni payl ke baare mein" about your payal?
she laughs it off, "acchha woh? no that was nothing important, the important thing is whatever i came to do is done"
He interrupts her nonsense "toh tum apni payal ke baare mein nahi jaan na chahti (So you don't want to know about your payal?)?
She ignores his question and continues to talk about the wedding..."you two make a great couple." irritating him further. He slams the breaks "get out."... She looks at him "dekh kya rahi ho? i said get out!"
She realizes her home is here. That darn seatbelt again, he opens it for her and flings it, but when she tries to get out her saari pallu is stuck, on her facea as she tries to pry it open, she breaks down, the agony of detaching herself from a part of him. In the process, she drops her wallet. the seatbelt, the pallu, the wallet all working to keep them together.
The wallet becomes her heart tonight. She leaves it with him, then he comes back to return it, fitting for tonight, later she will clutch it tightly to when the hurt becomes too much.
Even in this dark night, a glimpse of their love for each other, their one-ness shines through as Arnav is invited into the GH by Buaji and meets Khushi's parents for the first time...Khushi jumps to answer "Nahee amma, inhe meetha mana hai"(no amma, he's not allowed sweets) when Garima offers him sweets. they share a brief moments, quietly so much is said.
Arnav can't stop being the husband type either. first he couldn't let her walk home alone and now he shows concern for her father like a jamaai (son-in-law) would. Khushi is also moved by this gesure. He takes off, Garima asks Khushi to go see him off.
"shukriya! (Thank you!)" i get the feeling she wants to thank him for the way he was with her babuji.
He stops, the music gets intense, and the anger on his face mounts
"for returningmy wallet" she finishes
He takes this oppurtunity to do what he was trying to do earlier. but her lack of cooperation left him irritated.
"apni cheeze yaha, waha chhod ne aadat hai tumhari, jaise apni payal mere pool pe chodi thi...tumhari payal mere paas thi uska koi ghalad matlab nahin nikaalna, yeh mat soch na ki ek amir aadmi tumhari payal ko apen seene se laga kar baitha tha...mujhe iss sab se koi farq nahi padta, shaya tumhe padta hoga" shaking his head, "doesn't mean a thing
"leaving you stuff here and there is a habbit of yours, just like you left you payal on my pool, don't make anything of the fact that your payal was with me, don't think that a rich guy was holding it to his heart, all of this doesn't make any differenc to me, maybe it does to you, doesnt' mean a thing"
Thats why he was pushing her to ask again about the payal, so he could tell her and emphasis how much she doesn't make a difference. clever as always, but he still didn't answer one question Khushi asked earlier. "Why didn't you return the payal earler, aaj kyu? why today?" Khushi is still trying to swollow his bitter words to ask him. even if she thought to ask him, does it really matter? he just told her "deosn't mean a thing"
"Koi matlab nahi hai? It didn't mean anything?" she asks as flashes of him putting the payal on and almost kissing her apear in her eyes.
"shayad tumhare liye hoga, tumhe to laga hoga ki tumhari zindagi ban gayee" (maybe it had meaning for you, you proobably thought that you life is set), He knows she has deep feelings for him and uses them against her, also once again playing the gold digger card just to hurt her and push her away even more.
his takes a step of intemidation, in his eyes, pure determination, he hits the nail in the coffin
"mere liye uss baat ki ya tumhari koi ahemiyat nahi"
"For me, that moment, or you hold no importance"
"uss baat", that beautiful moment where he held her like she was his world, where she was willing to let him change her world holds no importance? She holds no importance? this words were worse than daggers, she looks up to him displaying every ounce of hurt in her eyes that her heart just couldn't bear anymore. He saw it, he felt it but ASR was in command, he wouldn't dare show it. He leaves.
she sits there crying clutching her wallet, her heart when Payal comes. Khushi wipes away her tears. Normally she would even force a smile but that just can't be done right this minute. Payal asks where she found the anklet, to which a broken girl gives and honest answer.
"uss baat ka koi matlab nahin tha jiji ( that didn't mean anything jiji)"
She runs to her room, locking the door completely breaking down, letting out the excrutiating hurt while the words to "tu hi bata mere maula" fill the somber mood. In parelle scenes Arnav sees only the tears he has given her all night, it all becomes too much, he steps on the breaks, drops the ASR mask and closes his eyes, utter agony on his face too.
Things playout in Shyaams favor tonight. he plays a low dirty game and puts Khushi's honor as risk to gets his way. Then he uses her babuji and her love for him to manipulate some more. Buaji falls for it and unknowingly lends her hand to evil. Does he not resemble the devil with his pointy ears?
Like a pressure cooker, she builds and builds the pressure on Khushi, there was not stopping Buaji after what happened. Garima and Payal tried to tame her, but she used Sashi's health, his happiness to lay a guilt trip. With Arnav's sharp words still fresh in her head, "mujhe iss sab se koi farq nahi padta, doesn't mean a thing" she finally gives in.
"Teek hai! hum...taiyaar hai"
"Fine, i'm...ready"
Everyone went still, even Buaji couldn't believe it, and her poor Babuji, not able to speak a word, but his devastation was in his eyes...if only she could see.
Shyaam give a victorious annoying smile...because putting a girl's honor at risk and hurting the man she loves the most to manipulate a forced "yes" out her in marriage...its gotta be "love" right? right?...despicable!
Buaji confirms, "syaam babua se shaadi karne ke liye tum taiyaar ho (you're ready to marry Shyaam babua)?"
A light nod from Khushi...She certainly said yes because she cares about her father, but also because tonight her belief, faith in love was shattered. The belief that kept her from saying yes to Shyaam before, that made her instantly turn the proposal down again, the faith that made her disobey her family for the first time in her life...to her at this moment that faith, that belief ka "koi matlab nahi tha"...didn't mean a thing.
DROOL CORNER!!!!!!!!!!!! (so need this after these two epis!)
❤️ Only if there was a way to jump into my screen and give him tight hug ❤️
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