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Okay people this is my first ff. 😕 I have no previous experience of writing ffs so be kind 😉 Like it if you enjoy it and please let me know if its worth two more parts. The steamy and racy part and The confession part. 😆😆 This is purely the longing part. 😃😃
Part One : Desire
"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel." - Forbidden
He looked at her,unrestrained passion racing through his veins. No,he has to stop feeling this way about her. " She means nothing to me" he muttered under his breath. But it was not easy to let go of her thoughts.
" Mere khaabon mein aapke saaye kyun hai? "
He could answer his own question,but he decided not to. There was no point in luring himself in believing that He and Zoya can be One. Two different people. Two different mindsets. From two different worlds.
'Yes,She lights up my world a little everyday. But i know i'll just burn hers out. What will remain would be charred ashes of a beautiful thing. No,i cannot let that happen'
But cant it be that they are two different sides of the same coin? That they are like opposite directions who need each other to be complete? No,Asad,no. That is too-good-to-be true. Especially with him. All he has ever recieved from life is unwarranted pain. There was no way that It can suddenly be nice to him and make Zoya his,his and only his. Zoya has to go and she has to take away the memories She has given him. He cant possibly live with them for the rest of his life. They will destroy him with Her absence, and scar him to death. He is too deeply into her to keep them. ' Just throw them out, Asad! Do not f***ing kid yourself. She needs to go.'
He rose up from his chair and literally growled on the way to his room. He was about to close the door when his eyes fell on the room opposite his. Tomorrow onwards,that room will be empty- devoid of the life that filled it with a sense of belonging to the house. From tomorrow,he would just have to stare at a lifeless room- he wont be able to see it's light filling up the dark passages of his house at midnight,he wont be able to go knock that door anymore- no more surprises will await him on entering that room- no more Zoya, no more Asad..
For a moment Asad could not breathe. As if someone was driving out the very air from his lungs.
But if there was one thing he knew he could count on,it was his self-control. Sure,this woman was a challenge to his defences- for the first time in his life,remembering the Mangalpur incident,he had lost it- all his defences-all his control-all because of her. It was like all the barriers he had made around his heart for all these years summed upto nothing when he had seen her lying there - lifeless and still. And how can he forget the moment when he saw her gulping for air and breathing again- That very instance had made him feel more alive than he had ever felt before. 'AGAIN?' his chain of thoughts collided with reality.
'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? '
He quickly closed the door in rage. ' I wont think about her. Its not going to happen. It'll lead to nowhere. '
He changed his clothes to retire for the night,his mind filtering his every thought about Zoya.
Zoya,Zoya,Zoya.. what did this word mean to him a few months back.. Nothing. But now. It meant everything. And with these words, Asad lost himself again. Yet again.
Zoya... if only i could tell you what i feel for you.. From the moment i laid eyes on you, i have known, that my heart would never settle for anyone else. Your tears hit me hard.. so hard. But what were we then.. what were we but total strangers.. And look at the irony Zoya.. We are no better than that even now.. We are still strangers who have been through things and felt things that most people are not lucky enough to feel in their entire lives.. then why do you have to go.. no, i cant ask you to stay.. you know me,dont you? Dont you know me well enough to understand that i want you to stay..? Ofcourse i want you to stay.. Ofcourse.. You know i have issues, make me deal with them, talk to me,fight with me but please dont go.. Stay.. For me.. for us..
Asad cursed himself again, " GET A GRIP " He tossed himself on the bed in frustration when suddenly there was a knock. At the door. He checked his watch.. 12.45..
He was about to get up when a voice came in from the other side of the door. A voice which melted and pierced his heart at the same time.
" Mr. Khan.. ? "
Asad rose up and so did his instincts. She is leaving tomorrow. And its almost 1 in the night. Suddenly a myriad of questions came fluttering into his head-
What can she possibly want from me at this hour ? Why is she here? What is left to say?
But the question that almost made him break into a cold sweat-
" DEAR LORD,WILL I BE ABLE TO CONTROL MYSELF ANYMORE?"
Asad felt completely lost. But the knocking continued. He knew he had to open the door.She knew he was awake. His lights were on. There was no way out. No way out of this thing that was corroding their hearts with its tamed silence.
So with a thudding heart that was almost going to shatter his ribcage to pieces, Asad walked to his door and in one swift movement opened it,his mind troubled with the thoughts of what could happen and his eyes staring at the face in front of it,as if in a trance.
Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think and dont forget to hit the like button if you want the next part 😊
Part One : Desire
"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel." - Forbidden
He looked at her,unrestrained passion racing through his veins. No,he has to stop feeling this way about her. " She means nothing to me" he muttered under his breath. But it was not easy to let go of her thoughts.
" Mere khaabon mein aapke saaye kyun hai? "
He could answer his own question,but he decided not to. There was no point in luring himself in believing that He and Zoya can be One. Two different people. Two different mindsets. From two different worlds.
'Yes,She lights up my world a little everyday. But i know i'll just burn hers out. What will remain would be charred ashes of a beautiful thing. No,i cannot let that happen'
But cant it be that they are two different sides of the same coin? That they are like opposite directions who need each other to be complete? No,Asad,no. That is too-good-to-be true. Especially with him. All he has ever recieved from life is unwarranted pain. There was no way that It can suddenly be nice to him and make Zoya his,his and only his. Zoya has to go and she has to take away the memories She has given him. He cant possibly live with them for the rest of his life. They will destroy him with Her absence, and scar him to death. He is too deeply into her to keep them. ' Just throw them out, Asad! Do not f***ing kid yourself. She needs to go.'
He rose up from his chair and literally growled on the way to his room. He was about to close the door when his eyes fell on the room opposite his. Tomorrow onwards,that room will be empty- devoid of the life that filled it with a sense of belonging to the house. From tomorrow,he would just have to stare at a lifeless room- he wont be able to see it's light filling up the dark passages of his house at midnight,he wont be able to go knock that door anymore- no more surprises will await him on entering that room- no more Zoya, no more Asad..
For a moment Asad could not breathe. As if someone was driving out the very air from his lungs.
But if there was one thing he knew he could count on,it was his self-control. Sure,this woman was a challenge to his defences- for the first time in his life,remembering the Mangalpur incident,he had lost it- all his defences-all his control-all because of her. It was like all the barriers he had made around his heart for all these years summed upto nothing when he had seen her lying there - lifeless and still. And how can he forget the moment when he saw her gulping for air and breathing again- That very instance had made him feel more alive than he had ever felt before. 'AGAIN?' his chain of thoughts collided with reality.
'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? '
He quickly closed the door in rage. ' I wont think about her. Its not going to happen. It'll lead to nowhere. '
He changed his clothes to retire for the night,his mind filtering his every thought about Zoya.
Zoya,Zoya,Zoya.. what did this word mean to him a few months back.. Nothing. But now. It meant everything. And with these words, Asad lost himself again. Yet again.
Zoya... if only i could tell you what i feel for you.. From the moment i laid eyes on you, i have known, that my heart would never settle for anyone else. Your tears hit me hard.. so hard. But what were we then.. what were we but total strangers.. And look at the irony Zoya.. We are no better than that even now.. We are still strangers who have been through things and felt things that most people are not lucky enough to feel in their entire lives.. then why do you have to go.. no, i cant ask you to stay.. you know me,dont you? Dont you know me well enough to understand that i want you to stay..? Ofcourse i want you to stay.. Ofcourse.. You know i have issues, make me deal with them, talk to me,fight with me but please dont go.. Stay.. For me.. for us..
Asad cursed himself again, " GET A GRIP " He tossed himself on the bed in frustration when suddenly there was a knock. At the door. He checked his watch.. 12.45..
He was about to get up when a voice came in from the other side of the door. A voice which melted and pierced his heart at the same time.
" Mr. Khan.. ? "
Asad rose up and so did his instincts. She is leaving tomorrow. And its almost 1 in the night. Suddenly a myriad of questions came fluttering into his head-
What can she possibly want from me at this hour ? Why is she here? What is left to say?
But the question that almost made him break into a cold sweat-
" DEAR LORD,WILL I BE ABLE TO CONTROL MYSELF ANYMORE?"
Asad felt completely lost. But the knocking continued. He knew he had to open the door.She knew he was awake. His lights were on. There was no way out. No way out of this thing that was corroding their hearts with its tamed silence.
So with a thudding heart that was almost going to shatter his ribcage to pieces, Asad walked to his door and in one swift movement opened it,his mind troubled with the thoughts of what could happen and his eyes staring at the face in front of it,as if in a trance.
Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think and dont forget to hit the like button if you want the next part 😊
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