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Dealing with Biwi on Her Period
"BIWI!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. "BIWI!!!!" He continued like an impatient child.
"What do you want from my life!" She screamed back.
Biwi screaming back? What happened to her?
"I wanted to ask you..." He darted into the room only to be quieted by the sight in front of him.
There on the other end of the "nafrat ki deewar", of pillows might he add, was Madhu, still in her night clothes, with a bunch of covers on top of her, a shitload of unhealthy food, a portable DVD player, and a DVD cover of Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge.
"What the hell?"
"Uggh!" She pressed pause and looked up at him. "What do you want pati parmeshwar!"
"I just wanted to know why my Biwi didn't give her darshan to the family this morning at breakfast."
"Because I was tired!" She replied. She looked like she was going to start crying.
"Biwi are you... er... alright?"
"No! How can I be alright! No one loves me! I don't have a Raj who's going to fly to Punjab and fight with my dad for my hand in marriage! MY LIFE SUCKS!" She started crying loudly.
Is she f**king high? Love? What was wrong with her?
"Are you sick?" He questioned as he cautiously stepped closer to feel her temperature.
"HAAN HAAN! IF A WOMAN DEMANDS LOVE SHE IS AUTOMATICALLY SICK RIGHT?!?" she started fuming.
He was left dumbfounded at her quick change of emotions.
"Biwi as much as I want to screw you over 'till you forget your name, according to the script I sort of have to treat you like shit."
"Script gayi bhad main!" she demanded and then started crying again, "I FEEL LIKE MULTIPLE KNIFES FROM ALL DIRECTIONS ARE BUTCHERING MY STOMACH AND YOU EXPECT ME TO ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED!?!"
Is she f**king pregnant? No, no, that can't happen he never used the baby making blanket with her.
UNLESS... naaw she's too Sati Savitri to cheat on him.
She chucked a pillow at him while he was in the middle of his thoughts.
"Woah! Easy there!" The dodged the pillow.
Something doesn't seem to fit in. Why the hell was Biwi acting like a wife? Why was she changing emotions like s-luts change their boyfriends?
He walked over to pick up the pillow to see it knocked down a packet of... PADS? He'd never considered that outside their tu-tu-main-main and eyelock sex that there was more to bringing Madhu into the household.
"BIWI ARE YOU ON YOUR PERIOD!?!"
She just gave him the death stare whilst angrily biting into her chocolate bar.
"I asked you a question Biwi!" He pestered again to which she responded by turning the movie back on.
"BIWI THIS IS IMPORTANT!" He closed the portable DVD player that was in her lap.
Annoyed she looked up at him, "I wouldn't be if you decided to "man up" once in a while in this bedroom!"
***
Outside:
RK walked out of the bedroom completely speechless and threw out the new pack of condoms he'd brought for the week he finally mustered some courage up.
"Mother nature being a bitch?" Bittu ji asked.
"You have no idea."
***
It's my time of the week and I am like dying from cramps.
Thought to share my bhadaas with RK.
Shweta
And Mother Nature:
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