It takes a couple of
days to get used to the rush and frenzy of Karachi, but Khirad finally gets it.
She's well rested, well
settled, and honestly more excited for the wedding with every passing second,
and she's only made her way out of the kitchen with her morning cup of coffee
when she's greeted by the sight of Ashar Hussain, carelessly lounging on the
sofa, watching the TV amusedly.
Instantly, she feels
out of place in her pajamas as she stares at him like a deer caught it
headlights. Forty eight hours might have taught her quite a bit, like when the
Hussain household wakes up or what they like for their meals, but it hasn't
taught her to expect Ashar Hussain at every corner.
He looks at her, then,
with a small smile tainting his lips, like he was expecting her all along. It
makes her cringe when she notices his attire, prim in proper in all the right places,
even though he's supposed to be on what she makes out as his 'vacation.'
She looks back at the
coffee cup in her hand, internally confused at whether to stay in the name of
manners or walk away like she prefers to, but his stare doesn't cease and it really
doesn't make matters easier.
"Some
company would be nice, Khirrat," he remarks off-handedly, when
she hasn't yet decided if she should move away or closer. She's almost about to
correct his mispronunciation when Zareen's giggles break through the hall.
"Khirad,
you will not believe who I just saw," she squeals, tossing her bags on
the sofa and running to her best friend with a glow on her face that Khirad
supposes only soon-to-be-brides have, that strange mix of excitement and
nervousness which lights up the pink on their cheeks and the gleam in their
eyes.
The one-sentence conversation between Ashar and Khirad is forgotten, and Khirad only watches how
he turns to the television with a small smile as his sister colors the world
with her wind. She only then completely attunes herself to her best friend.
.
She's barely put the
breakfast tray in the sink when his looming presence behind her startles her.
She jumps almost involuntarily, which she realizes widens his already present
smile, and the cup in her hand almost falls as she watches him incredulously.
"You cannot be
serious," she says, glaring at him as he takes a bite of out the apple in his
hand.
"Oh, please," he drawls,
voice still laced with sleep. "Not my fault you get scared easy."
He's grinning at her,
eyes bright and full of mirth, and she almost curses herself for insisting that
Zareen let her put the tray in the kitchen while the soon-to-be-bride rests in
her room after the tiring shopping she just did.
She doesn't spare him
another glance, just steps away from him. She can feel his eyes following her.
"I thought you were
Zareen," she mumbles, explaining even though she knows she's not at fault.
"Good morning to you
too, Khirrat," he calls out when she's by the door, and she doesn't have
to turn around to see the grin on his face.
If she rushes back to
her room a tad faster than usual, she really doesn't notice.
.
Zareen all but runs out
of the bed in the middle of their gossip session when the doorbell rings, not
sparing one glance at Khirad as she speeds through the door, and Khirad watches
her incredulously before following her out, steps much calmer and laid back,
just to see what the fuss is about.
She's at the top of the
stairs, staring down at the front door that's opened wide before her, when a
beautiful woman walks through, every inch the epitome of grace, and it doesn't
take her more than two seconds to realize that she's the same person from the
pictures by the stairs. She looks to her left, and sure enough, the pictures
stare back at her, little Ashar and Zareen laughing with their mother and this
woman.
"Zareena!" Farida's
voice breaks out into a sound of absolute delight, and now Khirad can
put the name to the face: this is Aunty's sister, she figures, then feels
exceptionally smart about putting two and two together. She almost misses the
beauty that walks through, next, with her gorgeous cheekbones and beaming
smile.
"Sara!" Zareen yelps,
jumping on the girl who hugs her back with just as much fervor, just as much
love, and Khirad just watches the family reunion with a smile. Sara breaks away
from Zareen after a few minutes, and her eyes fall on Khirad's, confused.
Zareen follows the trail
of her eyes and grins when she spots Khirad before tugging at Sara's shirt to pull her up the stairs.
Khirad meets them
halfway after remembering her manners, and gives Sara a small smile as Zareen
introduces her, words like, 'sister' and 'best friend' laced with affection.
"Hi," Khirad says,
hoping she doesn't sound as awkward as she feels when she's acutely aware of the fact
that she's playing third wheel in a conversation where she knows one too well,
and the other not at all.
"This is Sara," Zareen
says with a big smile, like that explains everything. A second later, she
continues, "Khirad, meet Sara, my Khaala's daughter and Bhai's best
friend, bachpan se. They get along excellently and are a treat to watch,
honestly ' you won't believe their banter."
Khirad's smile widens at
Zareen's excitement, but she can't deny that Ashar's mention in the circle of
things makes her awkward. She doesn't see him when he approaches, but can
pinpoint the exact second as she watches Sara stare over her shoulder, face
contorted into a beautiful gleam, a smile as bright and radiant as Khirad's
entire face, and runs up the stairs to him with a laugh tumbling out of her
lips.
Khirad turns around with
Zareen as she watches Sara, breathless from the two meters of running, but
Khirad knows it's not the exercise that tired her out, but instead is the man
that stands before her, smiling brightly at her like she's hung the moon and
the stars, and Khirad feels like a stranger all over again. They lean in for a
hug, both grinning and happy, and Khirad turns away from them immediately,
feeling much like an intruder she'd hate to be, and throws Zareen a haphazard
smile.
"Enjoy with your
family," she whispers to Zareen. "You guys should have some alone time. I'm
calling up my parents," she says.
Zareen looks like she
wants to argue, but Khirad's sure the parents card tilts the situation in her
favor, and she nods softly. Khirad turns back towards the stairs, only briefly
catching Ashar's eyes as he hugs Sara before she fixes them on the stairs and
makes her way upstairs, trying to make sense of the workings in her head,
heading to the guest room that's decorated in the wake of her arrival.
She's not bothered, she
reminds herself, merely curious. From all she'd seen of Ashar, she'd never
thought that he was emotionally committed to someone, so invested in a
relationship with someone who they hadn't even mentioned. She's struck by the
thought that she's over analyzing a relationship between two people she doesn't
even know, but something about that feels wrong. Ashar's not a stranger, she
reasons, just someone she's almost used to having around, with his mocking and
grinning, despite the fact that they've never gotten past a decent conversation
except what they had in the flight.
Fake husband, she
remembers with a fond smile, before she catches herself and cuts the thought
off completely, aware of the fact that just her observation doesn't actually
mean that there's something going on. Either way, she reminds herself, it
doesn't make a difference.
She's only on the last
step when an echo of her mispronounced name stops her in her tracks.
"Not going to eat,
then?" She turns around to see him faced towards her, now, grinning.
"She's going to call her
parents," Zareen explains before Khirad can even open her mouth, and sometimes,
she's glad Zareen becomes her voice when she can't speak.
She gives him a small
smile that she isn't sure reached her eyes for reasons that are beyond her, and
he only looks at her for a second before Sara tugs him by the shirt sleeve.
Khirad doesn't wait long
enough for him to say something, and she inwardly shuts herself up for thinking
he would.
She gets to her room and
shuts the door behind her before she allows herself to think freely, about
Zareen and Sara and Ashar and she realizes that she's not disappointed that the
people she's surrounded by have found someone who loves them dearly, but that
she has yet to find someone too.
She doesn't call up her
parents, only spends an hour leaning against the door, thinking of a boy, with
his tousled hair and hazel eyes, who had her heart on his fingertips three
years ago, and wonders if she ever managed to get it back.
A knock breaks her out
of her revelries, and she almost groans as she pulls her head from her knees,
memories of first loves still playing in her head like a slideshow when she
stands up and fixes herself in the mirror. Thankfully, she'd changed after her brief
encounter with Ashar way early in the morning, and was now dressed in her most
comfortable pair of chooridaars, feeling like at least a part of her was still
stable with her, not stuck in a rut that's she's only revisiting after three
years.
Ashar stands outside the
door, hand raised in the air perhaps to knock a second time, she assumes, but
it drops when she stares back at him, suddenly more tired and diffused than
he's ever seen her.
"Are you alright?" He
can't help himself from asking as he tries to read her face, but she gives him
a small smile and looks to the ground.
She doesn't answer, only
walks past him. She thinks about initiating a small conversation about lunch as
he matches his steps with hers.
The words are just about
to get past her lips when Sara walks up to them, instantly engaging Ashar in a
conversation that Khirad doesn't even attune to.
It doesn't make a
difference, anyway.
.
Khirad spends the
majority of the day in her room, unsure about whether they realize that it's to
give them privacy rather than an excuse for her to stay holed up inside. She
half expects Zareen to come anytime soon, knocking feverishly and yelling at
her and begging her to come outside and socialize, but nothing of the sort
happens, and Khirad starts to feel oddly alone.
Then again, she reminds
herself, it's Zareen's family. She really can't blame the girl for forgetting
about her for one second in three days. With that thought, she stares out the
window in her room, which opens up to the view of the garden, and she realizes
she's yet to go on the swings with Zareen. As if it takes ten seconds to make
up her mind, she grabs the book she was reading at the airport, her black
glasses and her favorite jacket, and tiptoes her way out of the room.
She makes sure she's the
quietest she's ever been when she makes her way out the door and tries to
navigate her way to the garden, relieved when she finally finds it after five
minutes. Really, she thinks, this house is too ginormous for its own good.
Khirad makes herself
comfortable on the swing, feet stretched out over the expanse she assumes can
fit two more people, and it moves softly, a lulling rhythm that makes her feel
more relaxed and in control of herself. She doesn't know how long she reads
for, just that the afternoon inches to evening, and the sky is a beautiful
shade of orange she's never once seen before now.
She shuts her book and
thinks about her earlier observation about Sara and Ashar, and despite the fact
that it feels strangely ridiculous, the thought circulates in her head for a
long time. They really would make a perfect couple, she thinks, even though
they might not be one at the moment
(which, if she's being honest, she doesn't believe for a second ' Sara's face
was evidence that they're together) but still, Khirad hopes it's not unrequited
love on Sara's part. She's experienced it once, firsthand, and she really
wouldn't even wish it upon her enemy, much less a girl she's only met for
fleeting seconds.
She's running a hand
through her hair when someone behind her clears her throat. She almost jumps
from the swing, literally losing her balance, but the person's got a tight hold
on her hand and she doesn't move an inch. Her eyes are shut tight, and it's only
when she realizes she hasn't yet greeted the floor that she looks up to meet
Ashar's eyes.
She tries not to flinch,
but she can't hide her surprise.
He let's go of her hand,
then, making his way in front of her. She realizes his eyes are fixed on her face,
and she looks up at him. He's looking at where her feet rest on the swing, covering the expanse, and she immediately pulls them to herself, giving him the space that he was
probably waiting for.
He sits down easily,
like they've done this so many times, and she realizes that really, it's the
ease with which this man does things that scares her. It's almost like she's
always been a part of his life, she thinks.
"Are you okay?" He
repeats his question from hours before, and she looks at him in surprise.
"Great, thank you," she
answers genuinely, then voices the question stirring in her mind. "How did you
kn-"
"I was wondering where
you disappeared off to," he says easily with a smile. "I saw you through the
window, and figured you could use some company."
"No, no," she insists
immediately, guilt kicking in. "I'm fine. You should go spend some time with
your cousin."
Ashar won't have any of
it, and he refuses before his eyes fall on the book she's reading.
"I told you the main guy
in this dies ' in fact, you knew it beforehand ' and you're still reading it?"
He sounds so incredulous, like she's really the epitome of wasting time, and
she can't help but be defensive.
"I love the way it's
written," she combats weakly. "Plus, I don't have much to do, anyway."
She swears she doesn't
mean for it to come out the way it does, irritable and almost like a complaint,
and while he says nothing, she knows he's caught on it. "I'm sorry, I didn't
mean it like-"
"Do you get bored?" He
asks immediately, carefully watching her face. She knows she can't lie when he
stares at her like this, she knows he'll be able to call it out completely.
Plus, Khirad's never really been a fan of lying.
"No, not bored, but I
don't have anything to do when Zareen's not around," she tells him honestly. "I
mean, Uncle and Aunty and busy with the wedding preparations, and you '"
"I'm always in the
lounge, but you're too scared to talk, is it?" He grins, effectively lighting
up the atmosphere when Khirad laughs, almost reaching out to hit him before she
stops herself and pokes her tongue at him.
"Try not to sound too
heartbroken," she retorts, and the corners of his eyes crinkle as he laughs.
She looks at the beautiful flowers lined against the wall in amazement.
"Who did this?" She asks
incredulously. "It's incredible! They look beautiful, yaar!"
She turns to look at
him, and he only smiles at her, shrugging. "I've always loved gardening," he
tells her, like it's enough to explain everything, and she finds herself
laughing with disbelief etched in her voice.
"You did this?"
She asks. "Wow, I'm thoroughly impressed."
He laughs, too, and they
fall into an easy banter, discussing childhood stories and memories and she
almost doesn't realize it until a part of her points it out, but something
seems to have shifted in just a matter of twenty minutes. There's an ease, now,
on her part, too.
Something about this
starts to seem normal, but she stops herself before she can try to place her
finger on what it is.
.
thank you for reading.
and, as always, your feedback would be lovely.
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