IPKKND FF:Tearing Ourselves Apart Parts 1-26 :) - Page 8

The hall was alight with colours, lights, music and chatter from guests. Khushi looked around her with her mouth wide open, at the great ceiling with chandeliers that where throwing off hazy pink light coupled with  tiny off white bulbs that grew of off every surface possible. She had stayed in her room all day and hadn't seen how they had transformed the hall into something out of a fairytale. She was still holding on to Arnavs arm, a fact of which she was very aware.

He had spoken to her today, the thought of which made her smile. He chose to speak to her, maybe things were going to be all right after all. It would take time for sure, but at least he didn't hate her like she had come to think.

He shook off her hand as they reached the room "Khushi, I'm going to get us a few drinks"

She beamed at him, smiling more than necessary at such a gesture.

"Are you going to tell me what you want?"

"Lemonade" she smiled

He gave his ' what a weird girl ' look and walked off towards the table with the drinks as Khushi looked around her to find her family.

 Reaching the table Arnav grabbed a glass of lemonade and white wine, he felt like he needed some to get through the night. As he was about to leave he saw a stack of Jalebi's at the side of the table and without thinking picked one out, placing it on a plate. He turned around to see Khushi scanning the room looking for someone. Her beauty took his breath away and he fearfully put the plate of Jalebi's down. What was he thinking?

Suddenly he saw Khushi's eyes open slightly and watched as she hastily turned towards him, hair flying across her face and crossed the hall over to where he stood. He stood stunned for a while in her beauty as she approached him. He wanted to touch her skin, how soft it was and feel the silkiness of her hair as it shone in the light. He snapped out of it just as she got to him and quickly pushed the plate he had recently filled swiftly with his hand, watching it fall into the bin beside the table before holding out the lemonade to Khushi's face.

She walked around the glass and stood beside him, looking a little worried.

"What is it, what happened?" he asked, wishing he hadn't as soon as the words were out. What was he doing? Why should he care if she looked worried? He looked at his outstretched hand that was now holding out a glass of lemonade to no one in particular. He put the glass down angrily on the table behind him, frustrated at himself.

She turned and picked up the glass as soon as he had placed it down and just pointed with her head towards the top of the stairs where Shyam and Anjali were now walking in

"That's whats happened"

Arnav groaned as he saw them and turned away to look outside the window where he could see Khushi's reflection as she turned to look at him worryingly. She reached out for his shoulder but thought better of it and retracted her hand slowly. She looked down before turning back to watch Shyam and Anjali being greeted by guests. As she was just taking a sip of her drink she saw Shyam meet her eyes, causing her to choke slightly and put her drink down to walk around Arnav so that she was now standing between Arnav and the window.

He looked up at her, where she still had an upset face but held his tongue in asking what had happened. She watched him expectantly, but gave up when he refused to speak.

"Amma, Babuji and Jiji are not here"

"Maybe because you didn't listen to what they had to say, hid the truth from them, said no to marriage, and then married me"

Arnav could be mean sometimes, but Khushi's mouth flew open in shock at how blunt he had just been. How much she was distanced from her family upset her alot, Jiji was the only one she really kept in contact with, and that too was on the phone when no one else was home. And now Arnav was telling her that it was her fault her family didn't want much to do with her.

"I'm going to the bathroom" she said in a huff, slipping past him and heading down the hall.

He grabbed her wrist before she had a chance to get away and desperately tried to whisper the words he knew he meant, he had never meant to hurt her, he had just gotten used to behaving like that, but his pride took over and he only let go of her hand to watch her reflection walk away from him. He closed his eyes in frustration.

"I'm sorry" he whispered to himself after a few seconds, annoyed at his lack of courage at being unable to say them when she was around.

"Say sorry to your liver" piped up a voice behind him that made him jump, splashing the drink from the cup he was holding onto the floor as Khushi reached out for his glass of white wine and swapped him for her lemonade ignoring his feeble protests.

She headed back down the hall towards the bathroom, placing the glass down on her way.

He was both surprised and amused by her, a small smile crept on his face but it disappeared as soon as he saw Shyams reflection looking towards the corridor where Khushi had just disappeared seconds before. He remained still, watching him for a while as he mingled with guests and stayed beside his sister. After a while he decided that he needed to calm down, Shyam was his Di's husband, and as much as that killed him, he would have to deal with that.

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Twenty minutes later found Arnav still holding a full glass of lemonade watching guests and making small talk with a few people that made the effort with him.

"Waiting for your wife?" came his sister's voice as she stood next to him

He smiled so that his words wouldn't appear too harsh "Where has your husband gone off to?"

"I don't know, somewhere" she said, having a quick look around the room. Arnav followed suit, searching every corner of the decorated hall, he looked down at the cup he was holding ' why wasn't she back yet?

"Are you going to watch it down your stomach?" Anjali joked.

"Di, I have something to do" he turned back to her "I'll come back soon"

Arnav followed Khushi's steps down the corridor to the left to find it empty, and decided to try going up to their room. He walked back through the hall, searching for Shyam as well, who he could not find. His palms were beginning to get sweaty as he searched frantically in every room he passed.

Finally reaching their bedroom he pushed through the door calling out her name.

"Khushi!" he looked in the bathroom, still empty.

He continued searching around the upper floor, worrying where she could possibly be.

On his way past the outdoor pool and garden, he saw a flicker of pink and bronze and stopped dead in his tracks. She was standing by the pool, staring up at the stars again, like she had been earlier that evening. Arnav admired her; he knew she believed her parents had become stars after they had died. He thought it was a beautiful thought, just as beautiful as her.

He wiped his free palm down on his tux and opened the door to join her. She didn't respond to his presence so he just stood there, waiting for her to do something.

"Do you really think it's my fault?"

There was a slight pause as Arnav wondered what she meant.

"That your parents didn't come today?"

"No, not that"

"Khushi, I shouldn't have said what I did. Your family doesn't hate you, you know that better than I do, there is no need to get so upset over that, you've been gone for about half an hour, I started...I mean people started to ask questions"

"No, no that either"

"What? People asking questions?"

She looked down at him from the sky "Tssskk, you don't listen to me at all"

"You speak nonsense that's why" he retaliated.

"I mean with Anjali Di"

Arnav was slightly lost again, keeping up with this girl was beyond difficult, so he waited for her to continue.

"With everything" she finally said, noting that Arnav wasn't exactly sure what she meant.

His look of confusion did not falter, making Khushi shake her hands in frustration.

"I mean with him, you know, Shyam and Anjali Di"

Arnav stood still.

"Do you really think it's my fault"

Arnav didn't respond. If he told her that he thought she had nothing to do it, he feared she would think that they were okay, that they could be fine with eachother. He wasn't ready to accept that, especially with the kind of effect she had on him. Arnav wasn't always left speechless, but he just stood, staring at her, in silence.

"Arnav ji" she pleaded "please just tell me the truth" She walked up to him so she was now standing very close to him. He could feel the heat from her body warming him up, "just tell me what you think".

Her eyes were begging him to talk to her, to tell her what he thought of her, of their relationship, and what he wanted for her. And he wanted nothing more than to tell her, calm her fears and say that everything was going to be all right -but something was stopping him.

The sound of the door opening behind him snapped him out of his trance as he watched Khushi fall back to reality as well. They had just been standing there, so close, staring into each other's eyes.

 Arnav turned around to find his Di and unfortunately her husband step outside.

"What are you doing here?" Anjali asked, confused at why he chose to leave the party.

Khushi stepped out from behind Arnav where she had been out of view "We were just about to come back"

Anjali smiled, with the intention of teasing them about this later. This kind of an opportunity with them was rare.

"I was just" Arnav started, handing over the glass in his hand that he had long forgotten about "giving Khushi her drink" he held it out to her, and when she just stared back at him, confused, he lifted her hand with his own and put the cup in hers. Their reactions at the jolt of current that had passed through the both of them when they had touched went unnoticed by Anjali, but not by Shyam. His face stiffened at the sight of them.

"Well if you don't mind interrupting the romance, please do come downstairs, my party is fun you know" Anjali giggled. When Arnav and Khushi just stood still she added "And, did you both know, my husband has a surprise for me, and he may have let it slip that you guys might be involved in it too!" unaware of the effect of those words on those that stood beside her.

Shyam did not look pleased at what his wife had just mentioned, this is not the way he wanted them to find out, he was hoping it would catch them off guard, so that they did not have time to question themselves, or him. He just smiled, ever so well at faking sweetness "Rani Sahiba, how many times have I told you to keep a secret - it is supposed to be a surprise"

"I am just too excited, sorry" she added, clutching her ears to emphasise her feelings.

"Okay, come down soon" she said to the both of them, holding Shyam by the shoulder and directing him back towards the party.

"Surprise? And him? That cannot be good" Khushi said, as soon as they were out of earshot.

"He wouldn't plan something stupid and get Di involved, he is too much of a coward" Arnav said angrily, leaving her and their unshared feelings by the poolside as he following his sister and brother-in-law back to the party.

Khushi stood outside for a few moments longer. Anger boiling up inside her for what Shyam was doing to her husband, she felt protective of him. Even though she sometimes felt he did not care for her, she wanted him happy. Seeing him sad, made her sad.

"Was it not bad enough for him to steal his sister? Then ruin his life with guilt of the choices he has made? Devi Mayya, please protect us from what he is planning, knowing Shyam, it is probably only for his benefit" she prayed quickly and ran back to the party, knowing that the anger she was feeling was probably going to make her do something stupid.

She walked back into the beautifully decorated hall, tripping twice on her sari, to see that Arnav had taken up his previous position by the window, except that he was now looking into the hall rather than out of it. She smiled to see that he had not picked up another glass of wine. At least her presence had some benefit around here.

Looking around the room, hoping to scan the hall once again for her family, she saw Shyam holding Anjali's shoulders as she whispered something to him and he nodded, heading towards the kitchen a few seconds later. This was her chance, she thought, as she headed after him.

Arnav would not have noticed that Khushi had walked back in had he not always felt her around him. His heart started beating faster and he knew she must be back, finally spotting her at the same place at which they had walked in, as beautiful as ever, with a small smile on her face. He wondered what the reason for her happiness was, maybe she had finally spotted her family? He followed her line of vision to see Shyam, and looked back at her to see that the smile was now gone.

He watched her think, he could tell she was making a decision in her head, and it was probably a bad one knowing that she was angry. That was Khushi for you, thinking with her heart and never with her head.

 Next Chapter 8