Today's Episode - Upended Lives

minu2011 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Frankly this is not what I was expecting after reading RS's reply to Anju last week and after Friday's wonderful episode.

But after seeing the episode, and calming down a little, I feel there may be a modicum of hope.  The episode shows how completely Nivi's life has been taken over by the course of events.  Her life has been upended totally.  And so suddenly, and without warning or a chance to understand things, least of all prepare for them.  As YD says, life did not even given them a chance to grieve for DD, and DS says life happens, it doesn't care who or what gets swept away in its path. 

At one level I can understand what Nivi is going through.  The guilt and remorse and grief is still there because of the things that happened - and that too so suddenly -- and if she believes, and we know she does, that she is responsible, and that the only reason for her to live now is to give Dwita a mother's love, then it is possible that her mind has become so blinkered that she feels that even if she's away from Dwita for  a second means she's abdicating her responsibility and proving that  she doesn't really love her...So in that state, which is really not a normal state at all, she can't let herself step away even for a second.  (she's so torn even to give Dwita to Sid and VD).

It is such a complex state to be in and everyone else, who is not as affected as she is (because they don't hold themselves personally responsible for DD's death) can't fully understand it.  Its like someone who doesn't know the path or the boundaries  and in their faith and commitment to doing what they think is the 'right thing' goes toally overboard, over-responds, without knowing any better.  She has no benchmarks, no markers, doesn't know where the limits are.  And of course has no idea how to deal with a baby, as VD says.  

Neha actually did a fantastic job today I thought, of portraying this obsessive state of someone who has no idea how to calibrate the new reality in her life...so obviously such a person *will* go to extremes and will not be able to hold any other thought in her mind but this - the reason she believes for
her to live.  Kinshuk  also did a very good job today of showing what someone who loves Nivi and cares for her wellbeing so much, but is otherwise reacting "normally" to the recent loss i.e., with appropriate distance from the situation with dwita (he loves her, but does not believe she is soley Nivi or his responsibility...) will feel - exasperated and uncertain and unsure where this is taking them...like when he sees Sid and Nivi together...minutes after saying never leave me. He makes an effort to understand – like when he reminds himself to be patient, and tells his mom that its not like that, Nivi makes tea for him everyday.  I liked also how they show him smiling so gently when he hears Nivi talking to Dwita that she will prove to everyone that no one can love her more than Nivi.  But things are overtaking his life too and at a pace he can't fully adjust to.  And he's not entirely liking where things are headed.. … clearly somewhere some insecurity is likely to rear its head, especially given all their complicated pasts.

I hope the CTs handle this well and not try to show that Viren will give up on Nivi or get totally jealous.  The saving grace is that Sid and VD have gotten a sense of what Viren is feeling...hopefully they will act as rudders to re-set this boat before things go awry?  I don't know if they will or not, but someone must. It can't be Viren because he's in the situation too much and nivi will always see his attempt to maker her see reason as somehow selfish (from the point of view of them both).

It probably as to be someone like NT Dadi or I don't know who, who can shake Nivi out of this extreme state and reassure her that she can fulfill all her commitments to Dwita while still living a more normal life.  To show her that while they understand her dilemma, she is allowing herself to become totally taken over by the reasons she has given herself for living, for doing this, and is misinterpreting the substance of what it is in reality that she needs to do to honestly fulfill her commitment and promise.  She *can* do it without losing herself or annihilating her relationships with Viren and others, but she doesn't know it yet.  The CTs seem to think she'll need a big jhatka to realize it and re-calibrate.  Hope they don't take us through hell and highwater to get there!!!

I don't believe this can go the Sid Nivi way.  At no point did Nivi show any ambivalence in her feelings for Viren or anything  at all towards Sid.  She feels nothing for him other than what she would for her sister's husband and her friend.  Her focus is only and only Dwita.  She is as bereft when VD takes Dwita as she is when Siddharth takes her.   By contrast there was so much softness in her eyes for Viren during their ever so brief moment together.  (Why couldn't they make that moment longer and at least let them complete the hug??!)

I really don't want them to mess with Nivi and Viren, and if RS is honest about his reply to Anju, they won't. 

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vids08 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Minu - Brilliant post. Very well analysed and put to words. Don't have anything to add.👏
Nitu2002 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Totally agree with you. I hope CT will not drag too much and show the reality to Nivi and dont mess up Nivren jodi.  Please.
anjubala thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Minu, excellent analysis. You have put everything so perfectly in words. Yes, she needs some jhatka to shake her out of this self-imposed responsibility / obsession / guilt etc...
And I have full faith in NiVren that they will be able to sail through this tough phase too. As RS said in his reply, let NiVren go through all and they wil become best friends / soulmates. And I will go with his reply. I will not let anybody or anything shake my belief as I have receievd his reply and I understand what he means by that.
Keep writing.
minu2011 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: anjubala

Minu, excellent analysis. You have put everything so perfectly in words. Yes, she needs some jhatka to shake her out of this self-imposed responsibility / obsession / guilt etc...

And I have full faith in NiVren that they will be able to sail through this tough phase too. As RS said in his reply, let NiVren go through all and they wil become best friends / soulmates. And I will go with his reply. I will not let anybody or anything shake my belief as I have receievd his reply and I understand what he means by that.
Keep writing.



Dear Anju, thank you for your positivity and optimism.  You always bring us back on track and I really appreciate that.
minu2011 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: vids08

Minu - Brilliant post. Very well analysed and put to words. Don't have anything to add.👏



Thank you sweetie.  I also agreed very much with what you said in your other post about wishing that
the CT's would show things better and not in such a disjointed way.  They could certainly have handled today's epi better.  I totally agree with you.
anjaani07 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Hi Minu, thanks for the PM, i just actually read ur post but its late so was about to log off and then i saw this. I agreed with what u said, i loved how u explained Nivi's state of mind and situation.
 
I really dont want the CT's to show that Viren starts to fall for CC's evil ways cos that will let them show him as in the wrong again and im sick of seeing that. I want him to understand what she's going through and support her even if he's feeling neglected and then i want Nivi (or someone to make Nivi) realise that she needs to take a step back for a minute and look at her life and really assess whats important in it - WHO is important in it. Everything has happened so fast and i think that's needed.
 
I get that she has taken responsibility for Dwita and that will change their lives drastically but she has to have a balance between that and her normal life too, at the moment she's taking it to the extreme and that's not healthy for her or anyone. Like Viren said today, she cant forget to take care of herself just because she has to look after the baby. I understand that she wont be able to do everything, make Viren's tea. DS's juice etc, it's normal when there's a new baby in the house but at least give a little attention to Viren, even if it's just to keep him happy - 10/15 minutes of undivided conversation or attention would take him over the moon and it's not too much to ask at all i dont think.
 
I dont have kids (im not married) but my brother has 3 young boys and i actually saw it with them when the first one was born cos my sister in law was so focused on the baby. She actually told me once ages ago that she used to put aside half an hour or so a day just to talk to my brother and catch up on their own cos she didnt want him to feel worse cos she already wasnt doing any of the regular things for him. At the time i was younger and just told her to ignore him and he'd get over it but now i realise what she meant!
 
Obviously this isn't real life and its a totally different situation but Nivi needs to realise that if she doesnt give any attention to Viren at all then he will start to feel left out of everything. And really is it so much to ask that she give Dwita to VD for a little while and spend some time with Viren? All the other things like making tea or whatever wouldnt matter to him if she just did that because he'd always have that to remind him that she is there for him. I think she will never realise it on her own so i hope something or someone makes her realise it and at this point i dont care who it is!
 
I dont know what the CT's are planning but i agree with u -  i dont think it's moving towards Sid/Nivi at all and as for that reply from RS, i think there's something off about it sorry, it just doesnt add up in my opinion so im not worrying about it.
 
Ok now im off to bed, its past midnight lolz! Hope what i wrote made sense cos it's late and my brain is switching off!! Night xx
Edited by anjaani07 - 12 years ago
minu2011 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
@Nitu, I agree with you. I hope they dont' mess with NivRen, but I feel even if they show Nivi and Viren going through more pain and new challenges, they will be together.  As RS told Anju, they will grow stronger.  That's my hope.

@Kinma, @INGCIF thanks.
Edited by minu2011 - 12 years ago
minu2011 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Asma, what an awesome post!!! Really agree with what you'r saying and you've said it sooo well!!!
Rani2011 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Nice post, Minu. your analysis is excellent!! I don't find any words to add, you've said it all :)

I am being optimistic after reading RSs reply to Anju's email last week. lets see what happens..