*~*#*~* Still you *~*#*~*
Part 1
"Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart" - Washington Irving
One year, Eleven months and 17 days, she was still waiting for her unreciprocated love to soften her heart. It didn't. Each passing day reminded her of her earlier life, however hard she tried not to remember it, consciously. She had then given up on efforts to forget that part of her life. She knew she couldn't. It was part of her.
She knew that trying to forget the family she loved, was like trying to remember someone whom she'd never met.
Gopi's lips curled up in a bittersweet smile, she glanced up at the clock above, 08:30 PM, her family would now be sitting down for dinner. The men folk would have come home and -
Her thoughts halted for a second.
Her Family? She shook her head, what was she thinking? That was never her family, in the true sense of the word.
She frowned, No that was wrong - it was her family. It had been, she corrected herself. True, when she'd first married into the family, she was only an outsider, but as time had passed, she knew everyone in the family had loved and cared for her.
Everyone except him. He had never wanted to be married to her in the first place, and he had never grown to like her. Maybe that was why he sent her away after his Naani had left.
Gopi carried Ahamji's green tea - he had come home early today and headed straight to his room. Gopi smiled, she had been smiling a lot since the last two days.
Naani had left two days ago, and she had almost packed her bags to leave, expecting Ahamji to say as much. But he hadn't. He had not said anything.
When she had been about to leave by herself, Maaji had stopped her. And Gopi never disobeyed Maaji.
"Aham Dikra!" she heard Maaji's worried voice," what are you saying?" she asked. Gopi stalled near the door, deciding that maybe now was not a good time to disturb Ahamji.
She turned around, telling herself that she would come back when he was done talking to Maaji, but his next words stopped her right there, "Yes mom. Gopi has to leave"
"Aham, why can't you see Gopi for what she is? She manages her work and this home so well. She respects everyone in the house. She cares of everyone and - " Gopi felt nice hearing Maaji say all this out loud to Ahamji.
" Mom, she might be the perfect little angel" Ahamji spoke up, his voice taking on a snide tone when he said 'perfect little angel', " but she is not the right one for me, please understand" he finished, firmly.
Gopi felt the tray slip from her hands and land on the floor in a loud crash
" Gopi Ben" that shook Gopi from her stupor. Shaking herself, Gopi looked in the direction of the voice, "Gopi Ben, call for you. They say it is urgent"
Gopi stood up and nodded, "did they say who was calling?" she asked, following the other girl out of her room.
The girl nodded, "Kokila Modi"
******
Aham kicked his foot in frustration, he absolutely hated waiting. On an empty stomach. But here he was waiting outside; he turned to look at the battered old name board hanging outside the equally battered old building; Aji Orphanage.
He did not know who he was supposed to be picking up - from an orphanage, of all places, and why mom had wanted this person home - immediately. Before he could ask her that, she had disconnected the call, just telling him, that it was very important and he had to do this.
He had sensed urgency in her voice, and he did not question her further. He had all the time in the world to ask her anyway.
He checked his watch impatiently - 08:42 PM. He pulled out his phone to call his mother.
" Aham ji?!!!"
His fingers stilled over the phone keys, confusion coursing through him. A second later it was replaced by anger, as realization set in.
"Gopi?!"
******
Gopi clutched her dupatta tightly as she walked outside the building, her mind preoccupied with a dozen thoughts. Maaji's frantic call asking her to come to Modi Bhavan. Immediately, but why? Maaji had not answered that.
Honestly, she did not want to go back into Modi Bhavan, knowing full well that he would be there. Not because she was afraid of him, but because she didn't know how she would react when she faced him again.
How would she feel? Would she feel happy on seeing him? She could deal with happiness, what she couldn't deal with was hope. She was scared that her heart would grab on to hope - and she didn't want to hope for anything when it came to Ahamji. She had learnt her lessons. Repeatedly.
So why did she have to agree? Because saying no to Maaji was out of the question. Not after all that she had -
What?! No way! She stopped in her tracks frozen. She couldn't believe her eyes. He was standing near his car, his back towards her as he pulled out his phone harshly.
Maaji had said that someone would be there to pick her up. Maybe she had forgotten to tell her that someone would in fact be -
"Aham ji?!"
She noticed him going still for a second before he turned around to face her -disbelief written over his face, " Gopi?!" he said incredulously.
Yeah, she did not believe this was happening either.
A second later, the incredulousness disappeared and his brows drew together, his jaw clenched and he glared at her.
He was angry. And that was not good.
Not anymore, Gopi. You have nothing to be scared about now. Gopi straightened, and held her head high. She was doing this for Maaji.
" Hello Ahamji. How are you?" she was very proud that she had managed to hide the storm that was building up inside of her.
******
Gopi? Gopi?!!
A dozen questions skittered across his head.
Had his mother planned this?
Why?
Why wouldn't she tell me she wanted me to pick Gopi up? He knew the answer to that one - because he would have never agreed.
So why was mom making him do something that she knew he didn't like? Was mom trying to - No, he had made it pretty clear that he wanted nothing to do with Gopi. Nothing at all. So why?
Was Naani home again? Aham felt his jaw clenching in anger. Well, if his Naani was home then she would have to deal with the truth.
"Hello Ahamji. How are you?" Gopi asked calmly.
For some stupid reason, that irritated the hell out of him.
"Fine" he snapped harshly. She smiled in a civil way - a civil, nonchalant way.
That irritated him more. He looked away. Why the hell were they exchanging pleasantries? He was sent here to pick her up. And that's exactly what he would do.
He turned around and walked to the other side of the car. Without a word, he pulled the door open and got in. As he got in, his eyes fell upon the big board.
Aji Orphanage - Orphanage... his mind wrapped itself around the word. His fingers slackened on the steering.
Did Gopi live here? Why didn't she live with Raashi's parents? What had brought her to living in an orphanage?
How the hell did he care? Aham clenched his jaw in irritation and tightened his grip on the steering. "What're you waiting for? Get in" he barked at Gopi.
He noticed out of the corner of his eye that she jumped at his voice. Quickly pulling open the door, she sat down wordlessly.
He knew this was going to be one silent ride. Gopi never spoke, and he had no intention of speaking with her. But he found himself glancing at her once or twice during the ride.
She was staring at the road, confusion and uncertainty spread across her face equally. And there was the fear.
He smirked.
Absolutely nothing had changed.
PS - Don't hate Aham already - he needs somewhere to start to mend his fences! :D
Yuks - I took the name of the orphanage from your latest Vachan part - I have zero knowledge about Gujarat Geography, and a bit of google told me that Aji was also Saurashtrian for Mother. Sounded perfect, so used it! 😃
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