Hello there. Yes I'm back with another post. Why? because I wanted to. :P
Anyways please feel free to comment, suggest, criticize etc. :)
What's wrong with me? I don't know myself. All I know is that now days my head and heart are in a constant fight over something. Someone. It's a strange feeling. All day long I keep thinking about him. Imagining my non-existent future with him. When I shouldn't be doing so. When we first met my first impression was that he is an obnoxious womanizer with no respect for himself or the womenkind. When he used to look at me with those eyes of the predator it used to make my skin crawl. But now...everything seems to be changed. Now I'm the one staring at him quietly when I know he is busy and won't notice, giving him those dreamy smiles when he is dictating me the letters, laughing at his lame jokes etc. I'm doing all this when I know I'm supposed to stay away from such men.
We were waiting for a client in the restaurant just when a girl had walked in and had draped her arms Sid. My eyes were poking daggers at her. Sid had stood up to greet her and started to flirt with her. I don't know what took me over at that moment. All I could think was that I had to separate that clingy little make up box from Sid. The sight of him standing there so close to that girl made me feel something I had never experienced before. I felt like screaming, 'get your hands off him you little airhead!' And then in the heat of the moment I had taken the glass of water that was in front of me and thrown that on the girls dress. Both Sid and that make-up box had stared at me in disbelief. The make-up box had then let out a little shriek and ran away to the rest room. I just stood there shaking with anger and disbelief at myself.
I shot him a dirty look and said 'Nothing, have a nice dinner.'
With that I had walked away from there with Sid standing there still staring at me with an amused expression.
I slowly opened my eyes and looked around my room. Everything was there neatly placed at the right place. I asked myself again for the nth time that night, how? Just how could I the sensible one have done such a low thing? But then again I haven't felt that way before. Earlier when Sid used to flirt with girls I used to feel pity for them for falling for his charms. But tonight I had felt whole together a different set of emotions. A little anger and...I was afraid to say it but I know what I felt. I had felt jealous of that girl. Yes I had felt envious of that girl for she was getting Sid's attention.
I stopped myself and with a frown asked aloud, 'What!? You want Sid's attention? You want Sid to like you? No that can't be.'
The Sid who cared, showed affection and respect for someone other than him.
I let out a sigh and looked back at the sky. I know he is not meant for me. But that wasn't the only thought stopping me. I was afraid to fall in love again. Was afraid to take a chance. Afraid that my heart will be broken again and I wasn't ready for that. I wished that my heart would stop feeling what it was and stop telling me to take a chance. Because I was scared to do that, as my mind kept reminding me that putting your heart at risk again wasn't worth it. I was getting tired of this tug of war between my heart and mind and decided to call it a night. And then I closed my eyes, thinking perhaps sometimes you have to take a risk, a chance to know if it was worth it or not.Edited by sugaryanu - 2011-02-27T07:06:54Z
Woh, Girlie. You did it so well .
Topic started by Ameres
Last replied by Ameres