ZKJ FORUM GUIDELINES FOR DUMMIES
(fun intended, no offense anyone)
How To Behave On An Internet Forum : Internet forums are either a brilliant community where you can meet and chat with new, interesting people, or full of scornful idiots who deserve to be banned . Below step by step guidelines explain some of the common mistakes people make in forums, which makes them the sort of loathsome fool no one wants to know.Internet forums are either a brilliant community where you can meet and chat with new, interesting people, or full of scornful idiots who deserve to be banned.
step 1:TROLL
A 'troll' posts deliberately controversial or annoying messages for the specific purpose of getting a rise out of people and initiating a hate-filled and overly-argumentative thread. The appropriate course of action is simply not to respond. Don't feed the troll.
Step 2: Godwin's Law
Godwin's Law states that "as an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one."
Step 3: Fanboys
Sadly, there are several members on thee forum who have such an overly-fanatical devotion to their particular celeb that they're somehow incapable of admitting that their celeb can make mistakes. They're best ignored, because 'Fanboys' are basically a special subset of 'Troll', and as such are all Nazis and/ or Hitler.
Step 4: Kiddie Bees (school going kids)
They have funny ways of spelling and don't understand that proper grownups don't want to put up with their pubescent attempts at 'humour'
Not all are evil, mind. Just few of them.
Step 5: Post Count
Every time you post, your post count goes up by one. Some people seem to think that the higher the post count, the more worthy and valuable they are to society at large. Frankly, the exact opposite seems to be the case; posting just to up your count is insanely annoying, so make sure all your messages add to a discussion in some way. If you're replying in a thread, make sure what you're writing is funny, interesting or funny and interesting. "celeb rocks or i agree" is not, in any way, shape or form, a valid reply, ever.
Step 6: Respect the Moderators
It's their website, and they can do whatever the hell they like with it. You're a guest, and hassling them about how they run things is akin to going round your Auntie's house and curling one out in her tea-pot .Make sure you are always buttering mods ...lol or else they can take out your freedom of speech:)
LOL ...remember two important rules
a) mods are always right
b) mods are never wrong
Step 7: DON'T USE ALL CAPS IN YOUR POST
EVER. 'Shouting' through the written word is pointless and annoying, clearly.
Step 8: Picture Etiquette & NSFW
Don't post massive pictures that are wider than most peoples' screens. What's more, don't post massive pictures of filthy grotty po*n or anything in case people are at work. By and large, just remember to be excellent to each other. Be all civil and pleasant. Keep your tongue firmly in your cheek and get a nice thick skin.
Step 9: Signatures
...should be small and tasteful. Massive graphics plugging something you're selling are a right royal no-no. Text is very much preferable.
Step 10: Avatars
Your profile pic is how people picture you, so choose something good-looking, funny or interesting. Pretty much anything goes, just make sure it isn't ugly or annoying and fits with the tone of the forum.
Step 11: Drama
Used properly, The Forum can be a tool for good. If used for overblown, melodramatic weepy Emo nonsense, it's ruined and needs to be scrubbed clean. Learn to relax and take everything in your stride. Noone's on The Internet to get all stressed and angsty, we're all just here for a good time. So leave all your haughty drivel at the door.
Last but most important
"Celebism" is a new religion with some radical
fanatics working actively on a movement to convert all humanity into it
and later worship them. This is only way to get enlightement in the TV
yuga. It is amazing that fanboys are ready to dedicate several 150 pages
worth of appreciation threads to these Celebs. If you ask them to write
about our freedom fighters or their own parents, they will not able to
write more than 150 words π
Edited by .Arjun - 13 years ago
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