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Kools reporting from base : Bhags has a BIRTHDAY in PR
LUNCHEON at the RANES . TDH came to collect Holy Archu like a parcel so he could take her home to a family get together of the RAnes . Can I take her ?he asked , pretending to be respectful to Holy Archu's parents , with a diabolical grin . . HA HA KYU NAHI said Manohar happily . He LOVED TDH . Such a good , quiet boy , he thought . Always paying quiet, unexpected visits to take Holy Archu away somewhere . Its due to HIM that I get some respite from the ETERNAL TAMASHAS , thought Manohar gratefully . He always whisks Holy Archu away somewhere and makes this house tension free . Otherwise , Chubby and Holy Archu with that nail biting bahu in the background were all a lethal combination . . SASURAL Has more Haq on Holy Archu than MAAYKA now , said CHubby piously , her chubby cheeks suffused with the sanskaari color RED , denoting joy . . Holy Archu went dutifully with TDH . Prabhi welcomed bahu heartily after a long time , all bitterness forgotten . . Am so glad you came Holy Archu , she said , exclaiming with joy . These r TDH's KAKA KAKU from SATARA . . The Satara Kaka Kaku stared , frightened , at Holy Archu . They had heard of her outbursts and legendary slaps from the SAngli Kaka Kaku who had visited last time and seen her erupting like a volcano . But Holy Archu beamed on them like a dutiful bahu and Prabhi took her to the kitchen .You manage EVERYTHING today , ok Holy Archu ? This is YOUR house after all said chaalu Prabhi and ran away outside like a frisky siamese cat after showing Holy Archu the salt , sugar , spices and vegetables . AHA ! I thought as i watched the scene .SO THATS why Prabhi was sooooo happy to see Holy Archu .
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Prabhi then sat outside and gossiped about Holy Archu while Holy Archu cooked like a dutiful bahu . She didn't mind that Prabhi hadn't offered her sherbet upon coming or a cup of tea . Savita had subjected her to far worse treatments .Besides , Holy Archu LOVED cooking . I will do my best , thought Holy Archu with determination . I will make them PROUD . Its my duty to FEED them , after all this is my marraige too .So what if its LEGAL , not SPIRITUAL . HAI TO SHAADI HI NA .
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SHe ain't THAT bad , Prabhi said grudgingly to the Satara Kaka Kaku who listened with dilated pupils . At first I HATED her but she is OK . Agreed to leave job and agreed to cook without a murmur .
TDH was not interested in the gossip . Like the workoholic that he was , he was working with his Laptop in the bedroom . Prabhi told Holy Archu to take his KHAANA there . And after that you can SERVE US she added graciously , bestowing a favour on Holy Archu . Prabhi excelled at bestowing favours without moving her butt . Taklu Rane looked appreciatively at her .
TDH HATED the food . Its YUCK said TDH after the first morsel went in his devilish mouth . ITS FEEKA , BLAND . I am MARD MARATHA , we prefer SPICY , TEEKHA . { True.That caste does .} Don't u know my likes and dislikes ?Ha ? Ur gonna be my wife , Ur supposed to Holy Archu .
Holy Archu didn't really care . She had been thinking of Bhags likes and dislikes while she prepared the KHANA . You see guys , Bhags liked BLAND food , being the milk sop that he is . He ate things like Dahi SHAKKAR and rice mixed with milk and sugar .😃😃
Then TDH left Holy Archu home at night . As she walked in without looking at him TDH gave his HEEE HEEE HAAA HAAA laugh and leaning on the car said
The COUNT DOWN begins from now HOLy Archu . This is the way I am gonna trouble u , THIS is the marraige you will have . TADPA TADPA KE MARUNGA EMOTIONALLY TUJHE HOLY ARCHU he said .Heee HEEE Haaaa HAAA .
Poor TDH . What he doesn't know is the COUNT DOWN has begun for him . For Holy Archu LOVES such painful moments in marraiges , she is USED to them . The more TDH hurts her , the more she will rise to the challenge to win PATI KA MAN and it will be TDH who will be falling by the end of the year like a tonne of bricks , just the way Wise Ajit fell . Poor , unsuspectingTDH ! So innocent in his cockiness , not knowing the power of the SHAKKAR cult of which Holy Archu is the supreme Queen .
The Birthday of Bhags
It was Bhags' birthday . So Sister Vandu took him to the terrace to cut a cake without involving poor unsuspecting Shravani who was sleeping like a baby near HER baby . I know , I know . Very unfair on Shravni and rather wrong of Vandu , but u see guys she regards only HOly Archu as her vahini . It seems she and Damo regard Shravni as Sachin's wife , bas .
Do u remember how Vahini and I celebrated your birthday Dada ? asked Vandu .
Now guys , before you listen to this in disbelief it seems in those fifteen days that Holy Archu stayed as the Virgin bride in the chawl , sleeping on the sides of the bed , content only looking at BHags , not even wondering when the Satya Narayan wud finally arrive and end ........in THOSE FIFTEEN DAYS Vandu had a birthday . And had revealed that Bhags had a birthday in OCTOBER .
Bhags remembered . It was a flasback birthday reminder , put in by CVS to capture TRPS of this show which was going to the dogs day by day . Guys DON"T be surprised if they put in a FLASHBACK CONSUMMATION too one day and if we hear a DISAPPOINTED YELL from TDH's bedroom on his SUHAAG RAAT NIGHT while the camera zoomes on Holy Archu's contented face , smiling at flash back memories , her head on a silky pillow . Itne GAYE GUJRE HAI YE CVS . Hopeless cases , I tell u .
He remembered how Vandu his Goat Sister had told Holy Archu of his uncelebrated birthdays and how Holy Archu had vowed to celebrate then as long as she was alive , while Vandu had whinnied like a high strung goat as she laughed and laughed unnecessarily .
Then Bhags remembered how Holy Archu had fallen in his arms by slipping from the stool and how he has 'SAVED" by holding her neatly , not allowing her to hit the floor neatly , while the flour spilt from her hands . They had lain like that for two whole minutes , she underneath and he on TOP , gazing in each others eyes and had laughed and laughed to see the spilt flour instead of getting irritated like me wondering who the hell would now do this EXTRA work . That was the ONLY time Bhags had been on TOP of Holy Archu . Ahem . [ And here I am clearing my throat .}
Holy Archu phoned at midnight and heard the cake cutting from Vandu . Vandu , dear nanand fed Bhags the cake on Holy Archu's behalf . Then Holy Archu wished Bhags , weeping . May u get ALLL happiness in life , she wept .
IMPOSSIBLE . My Happinesss went away with u . Now I will only be DUKHI said Bhags ,looking rather SUKHI as he said it . He LOVED suffering and perpetual GLOOM . He never even celebrated birthdays . He was the MOST masochistic character in PR .
Holy Archu wept . Such a Painful birthday , she thought . Theres such BEAUTY in PAIN .
Bhags had earlier gone and thrown resignation letter on Batatawada's table . This is for INSULTING me in front of the workers he had said . I HAVE MY ATMA SAMMAN . I kept quiet only for TAMEEZ . not coz Im KAMZOR . Don't think coz i keep quiet i'm KAMZOR , WEAK . U have no idea how i can break bottles and give intestines a nice , wobbly poke .
I HAVE said Batatawada unfazed . I saw that fight , remember ? In fact my Marwadi Mom immediately rushed to the Ladies bathroom after seeing Holy Archu slap YET AGAIN . She was not ready to come to the fair for precisely this reason . She has VOWED never to come near Holy Archu again . But thats besides the point .The Main point is U CAN"T RESIGN .
Why ?Asked Bhags .
Hah ! Coz u signed papers without looking ONCE MORE . cackled Batatawada nastily . Yes u will get the darned increment but u must give at least a mONTH"S notice before resigning ! Hah ! Middle finger to your ATMA SAMMAN , Bhags !
Bhags looked around for a bottle but cud see none , only ball point pens and papers . They were of no use , Batatawada's tummy was far too wobbly , they wud break . The KANJOOS used such CHEAP ball point pens too . Batatawada had hidden all the bottles and vases somewhere first only , THE SNEAK .
Bhags then flounced out and gave Wise Ajit a communist lecture on the plight of the miserable lower middle class man .
Manju like a chaalu wanted to put KHARCHA of her wedding anniversary on Foolish Chubby's head by cribbing about zero finances . but Vinod said he had some money so Manju was SUPER ANNOYED .
Yesterday Holy Archu started the gas and BURNT her hand deliberately on it by placing palm above the fire . It was her PENANCE for it was the same hand that had slapped BHags . It NEEDS TO BE ROASTED LIKE A PAPAD she firmly thought as she held it over the flame . Indeed
it HAS roasted like a papad only . What a wonderful message from CVS to impressionable youngsters out there ! The CVS need to be felicitated . Any ideas how ?
Kools signing off for the day .Like button only if u like comments even if u don't . Enjoy , CIAO .
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Udne Ki Aasha
Cricket
