DIVORCES - Page 2

Originally posted by: surnita

Girls are more educated now and not as submissive, whilst boys are still being spoiled by their mothers and cant compromise in marriage.  I know!  Im divorced!!!!

Yes that seems to be one good reason too. Sometimes husband is so protective about their family...they have so much of tough time in taking women as part of their family too....come on...women have left her parents for you...they should grow up.

I remember I had an alliance when I was in India. The guy was an NRI and a really ABCD...he was so like.."what ever my mom says"...just imagine...I am meeting this guy for the first time and he is just behind his mom all the time...god knows what will happen...after marriage...you got be kidding me...that was my thought...

I told this straight ahead to my parents and they laughed at me for this...they knew I was right and supported me.

 

😆 smisha!! I know exactly what u mean.

        You girls have put all the reasons.But I feel the biggest reason in the increase is that now the give and take factor have decreased to a great extent.'I'll have my way always' is the worst thing that can happen in a marriage.

well it depends...just not to be divorced u can't go on living in a relationship in which u r not comfortable...in some cases it is the only option left...u have to see the issues at hand in the couple...but divorce is a big thing for the kids...the worst part is the back n forth between the dad's house n mom's house...its like u have no home but its atleast better than seeing fights under the same roof every single night...but sometimes therapy is an option...u should atleast try to save the marriage...there has to be a compromise somewhere before u reach that stage but when parents divorce they should talk to the kids too or atleast think about them...in almost all divorce cases the kids suffer a lot...i am not saying that its bad or its good but they should think about everyone it will effect before making the decision......

Whether it's love marriage or arranged one the risk of divorce is the same. Today women are more educated and working so they have the guts to say no to abuse, infidelity and other common causes of divorce. We as a social animal is always afraid of what society says or what it will think. It's about time to think about yourself. I am no supporter of divorce. But if the relationship can be made better with good communication then a couple should surely try to save their marriage. But infidelity, abuse eyc. should never we forgiven.

ur absolutely righte bluepink

i think divorces are the best solution, but one should keep it as a last resort..

its always better to try and sort out whatever the problems.

Children if any, will grow and wonder always whether everything possible was done to prevent this drastic step.

then again, if everything is done and still the couple can't stand each other, or can't compromise is it correct to stay together?..live a lie.?..maybe some can manage it..But i can't even imagine.

 

to me i agree with all of u.  but what i like to say here is   preety much what the  luvya4ever says.............

well it depends...just not to be divorced u can't go on living in a relationship in which u r not comfortable...in some cases it is the only option left...u have to see the issues at hand in the couple...but divorce is a big thing for the kids...the worst part is the back n forth between the dad's house n mom's house...its like u have no home but its atleast better than seeing fights under the same roof every single night...but sometimes therapy is an option...u should atleast try to save the marriage...there has to be a compromise somewhere before u reach that stage but when parents divorce they should talk to the kids too or atleast think about them...in almost all divorce cases the kids suffer a lot...i am not saying that its bad or its good but they should think about everyone it will effect before making the decision........

 

cause i also agree on this. its affect on kids life for ever.  which can be woest night mare in their  lives .

 just my 2 cents.😳

My parents were divorced when I was one and my sis was five. I've lived with my father till I was five and till now when I'm 12 I've been living with my mom. I agree that there are a lot of problems for children with divorced parents, but in turn it can also make them stronger for life's many other troubles.

Edited by JinK - 18 years ago

Excellent Topic Pj!

Well as a lot of members pointed out, Lack of communication, lack of trust between each other, and lack of Time due to busy work schedules are the major reasons.

Lack of Communication: Not expressing your feelings regarding something and not telling your spouse about your feelings is one of the worst things you can do. Talking always, always, always helps. It helps you to get to know each other really well, understand each other, and can avoid many misunderstandings.

Lack of Trust: Not trusting your parter is another reason. If you cannot trust someone you love, then they might get frustrated because of this and this might lead to a disastrous end.

Lack of Time: The number of women in the workforce has increased and will keep increasing as time goes by, which means that both the husband and wife will be working. Job pressures and the pressure of getting work done might not leave a lot of time that they both could spend with each other. People need to make the effort to take out and spend some time with their spouses. Time is very important for communication! 😊

Future Impact: Its true that children with divorced parents have a higher chance of having unsuccessful relationships in their lives. However, it could also be possible that maybe these children will learn from their parents mistakes and not repeat it! For now, all we see is that the divorce rate is increasing rapidly, which is not good news.

infact here in South Africa.................divorce was almost unheard of a few years ago amongst the Indians................but now in the 21st Century..............the Indians have the highest DIVORCE rate here in SA..............its published in the newspapers every saturday...............the results are almost shocking..........

Sometimes Divorce is inevittable...................especially when people have affairs etc..............but like Smisha mentioned earlier................the kids are effected the most...............its very sad when parents get divorced.............In my entire family...............There is only one couple that got divorced.................it was like something out of this world..................Generation after generation..................the first divorce..............

In my personal opinion..................i feel that our Indian people are loosing their Culture...................and trying to follow the Western way of life......................Partying and Drinking.................they are forgeting thier family values.................Infidelity is also becoming an everyday thing...............is common amongst woman these days................More woman are having affairs than men................previously it was more synonomous amongst the mens...............but times are changing.........

Also lack of communication....................Take a look at Hollywood for example.................people are getting divorced almost every month...................their marriage dont last more than five years..................Brad and Jen just got divorced.................Posh and Becks are on the verge of Divorce...............I wonder who's next?????????

Well,I belive the basic reason behind divorce is DECREASED TOLERANCE & INCREASED EXPECTATIONS !

       Two individuals have been different right from the begining of the world but our grand parents didn't divorce however different their views were..but they actualy found out solutions to their problems by complete dedication to each other;they got married even without knowing each other but still could live a content life with understanding..if man said i need 70% of space wife said ok i'll do in 30% of space finally we have to make up for 100%.

      In our parent's generation education,awreness & perspective increased,woman wanted more from life than husband & family she started recognising need to be oneself...but it was difficult at social level so they suffered from depression & discontent in life..

      As the awareness grew & financial independence came in no one is now ready to compromise..their individuality..we want maximum from life probably at the cost of relationships..this is true not only bet husband & wife but everywhere ,joint family is vanishing,partnerships breaking & childrens moving on..

     Children are certainly to suffer at emotional security but they are finding resources elsewhere growing more matured..I'm shocked to read a 12yr old participating here..

     But we are heading for the society which'll be more practical,restless,fast paced with material gain....but probably unstable at emotional needs !