Hi all,
From many days I have been thinking to write this. I heard this term 'Social Pressure' time and again and want to write about this.
I understand that we are majorly girls over here. Most of us are aware of the circumstances that many girls/women faced in this country days back or rather even facing currently. They were not allowed to get educate, they were not allowed to speak up their mind and so on they basically did not have any choice. We have progressed from those days quite a lot. But are the problem solved? Is a woman today as free as a man?
Can she get educated as she likes? Yes to a good extent, but if some woman wants some thing different she has to struggle.
Can she go out freely? Yes majority of the cases if it is to small outings like just to cinemas or parties etc, but if longer ventures has to take permissions, ensure safety conditions etc.
Can she choose a life partner? Yes in many cases, but still quite some struggle in cases.
These look fine so far.. Now lets move forward.
Can she choose where she is supposed to stay after marriage? Not in quite some cases if the in-laws live in the same city. Live with in laws, adjust to their customs, their traditions more importantly their ways of living. What about her dreams, her interests? Many a cases she needs to adjust.
Can she like some other man? No, definitely not. A man can escape it but it is highly unethical for a woman. I want like to ask the following questions in this regard,
Q1. A woman is raped. How do you want to treat it? An accident, A curse on her, A life sentence on her?
Q2. A woman is married. She goes out on some reasons. Meets some interesting stranger and ends up spending a night with the person in some sudden circumstances. It was only a momentary attraction; she never wanted to cheat her husband and badly wants to get back. How do you want her to be treated? She should be cursed and never be forgiven, She should be viewed like a bad example and insulted, She should be understood and be allowed to carry on with her life.
Q3. There exists a woman who is married. The marriage initially was interesting, slowly became monotonous, suffocating, started liking another man. How do you want to treat it?
She cant set a bad example, have to continue with her previous life. She has made a mistake of thinking about another man so has to be thrown out and insulted. She is also a human being like a man, can have choices and should make her own choices.
Why these questions? Because they are some of the questions related to modern society? They are situations arising in this new/modern society, which we have reached after quite some struggle of lot of people (starting from Vivekananda). Can we call them as some progressive questions? One can pose many more such progressive questions, discuss, debate over have some healthy and interesting new understandings?
But why retrospection?
This is my biggest question? Why Retrospection? Why support the following
1. Why Ridhima should marry on the basis of some damned photos, rape shouts followed by people speaking non sense.
2. Why should Ridhima stick on to Sid just on the basis of marriage, when she loves someone else?
3. Why can't Ridhima get lost into eyes of Arman?
This is where I am unhappy with DMG and more so am not so happy with the views expressed in this forum. As I pointed out before, we are majorly girls here and don't you all think we should support more progression than retrospection. Why dont we support our views using retrospection?
But wait a second, things are not as portrayed above
Regarding Point 1: Yes, unfortunately it is shown that she married on this basis. Wait a sec, not completely, she thought of ending her life and not marrying. So, why talk about social pressure here. Why attribute it to social pressure here. I personally would have liked the marriage to happen in the following basis,
Rhidhima was diseased at that point (yes it definitely is a psychological disorder). She is in a complete state of depression at that point of time and Shashank as a father felt that having support of a willing and understanding person like Sid can bring her out of it. What better way than getting married to that understanding, caring person. If you see this is an age old technique and really works well. Because sticking on to something invisible is more of a myth and moving on to something visible and promising is a reality.
Regarding Point 2: Is she really doing it that way? Please question your self. She has seen an interesting future with Sid and is trying to move on. She has not yet moved on completely and is just on the verge of doing it. Hence she is not easily willing to go back to Arman. Then why attribute it to social pressure. Just imagine, if Arman has returned after another week, Sid Ridhima would have met in Pune and would have moved ahead with their marriage and that too willingly?
Regarding Point 3: What is wrong with it? This is one person whom she has loved like any thing once upon a time and wanted to spend the rest of her time with. If he returns after a long time, why should she not get pulled towards him? Why talk about social pressures here? Why not talk about progressive views. It is not adultery. It definitely is not. It is a struggle of a person between what she wants, as right now she has not yet made a choice. Think in this way: Train A is very convenient for you, you love train journey. You don't get reservation. Make arrangement with some group going to the same destiny in car. Try to see that though the car journey is uncomfortable, the new company is interesting. Suddenly before the journey, you come to know, that you can get Train A tickets. Then you need to make the choice. Why can't we think in that direction? I know Ridhima's situation is much more complicated. But why do we want to attribute Social pressure to it. Why cant it be progressive, that is why can't she make a choice? Let me tell you here, I Love Sid for helping her out in this way. He really is progressive here. Why to keep bothering about why should Ridhima look into Arman's eyes? Or Why should Ridhima fall in mud with Arman or what not ? Why not ? Why she can't reciprocate/react to the situations freely and make a choice?
The point of this long post is "Why we can't think progressively? Why we want to take the help of social pressures to bind our thoughts? Why can't we see this situation in a new light? Why keep making references to social pressures, which we really want to keep behind and move ahead? Why don't we all think different?" It is my sincere request to all "please never take the help of these social pressures and try to think differently" for any situation or for any favourism. You are all mostly young girls, who are going to make a big difference to the generations ahead. So, again my sincere request, "Please leave behind social pressures, think progressively" I would be extremely happy if at least a few of you understand me.
Please feel free to discuss, but do it with open mind.
Regarding my views on Sid-Ridz situation please see my earlier post (probably only SR fans will like it)
http://india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1386461
Here I also tried to bring in the point that when a person is going through a second relationship, after a serious relationship, the person often tries to compare the two persons and makes wrong judgments. I feel this is a new and interesting angle.
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